Disclaimer: I own no characters from Excel Saga or Ranma 1/2. If I did, Ranma and Ukyo would be happily married by now, and Pedro would run ACROSS. However, this plot is MINE and if Nabeshin wants it, I'd better at least see my name on the end credits!

Author's Notes:

I realize that commas are completely absent from several of Excel's sentences. This is intentional; think about the way she talks and you'll understand.

Excel Saga is the bizarre masterpiece of Koshi Rikdo. It is the story of the many, many(mis)adventures of Excel Excel, a high school girl-turned secret agent for a terrorist group named ACROSS. With her partner, Hyatt (a Martian girl without an immune system), she constantly tries (and fails) to conquer F-City for her true love: the leader of ACROSS, Il Palazzo. The show has a sub-plot starring Pedro Domingo, a ghostly immigrant worker trying to get his life and his wife back. He is assisted in this by the Will of the Macrocosm (who Pedro calls "Ms. Wheel") and Nabeshin, one of the directors.

Ranma 1/2 is an awesome show by Rumiko Takahashi that stars Ranma Saotome, a martial artist who has been cursed to change into a girl when splashed by cold water. His father Genma, his rivals Ryoga and Mousse, and one of his fiancees (named Shampoo) are cursed to change into animals. Ranma stays at the home of another one of his fiancees, Akane Tendo. Hope that clears everything up a little.

Prolouge:

"HAAAAIIIIL IL PALAZZO!"

"Haaaiiil Il Palazzo!"

The two loyal henchmen (ok, "henchwomen") stood in the large hall where their master, Il Palazzo, always had them debrief him. As always, he was sitting on his throne, expecting that they had failed him, and as always, they had delivered!

"Lord Glorious Il Palazzo," started Excel Excel, "Hyatt and I have searched high and low for the legendary Livonian gila monster which you planned to mutate to take over the city but regrettably as has so often happened before we have barely come short of our goal and now to express her regret Excel will not only happily fall down the hole beneath her but she will donate today's pay to hire someone to make it deeper!"

The silver-haired future tyrant smiled slightly and pushed his glasses up a little. "There will be no need for that, Agent Excel. Your failure was a disappointment, but perhaps braving the scorching deserts of Latvia was a little too much to ask. Instead of self-punishment, I want you to work on a new assignment. I truly believe that this one may finally allow us to conquer the city, and what's better, it's only a few miles away!"

"Oooohhh! What might it be, Lord Il Palazzo?" asked Hyatt.

"Well, Agent Hyatt," replied Il Palazzo, "it came to my attention that house insurance in the Nerima district of Tokyo was unusually high. As it turns out, the reason for this is that there is a large concentration of super-powered martial artists in the area, particularly around Furinkan High School. I want the two of you to travel to the area and enlist as many of them as you can into the ranks of ACROSS."

"Yes, sir, Lord Il Palazzo! Excel and Hyatt will not fail you this time! We will enlist them in the droves and tons and thousands and millions! We'll get on it right away!" shouted a rejuvenated Excel.

"Good," he replied, "I'll look forward to your success!"

"Err... Lord Il Palazzo? Might your lowly Excel ask why your excellency would be looking for marital artists for? Excel would've thought that you could find a matchmaker in the yellow pages and by the way did I mention that I'm very available?"

Slightly irritated, he mumbled "Martial artists, not marital artists."

With that, he pulled a little cord dangling from the ceiling and sent Excel merrily on her way (those familiar with the series know that this means falling down a nearly bottomless hole). "Can she really do it?" he wondered as Hyatt hopped in after her. "Well, she IS my most experienced operative. I'm sure she can pull it off if she puts her mind to it. I just hope that Agent Excel won't do anything rash, or that Agent Hyatt won't kick the bucket again...

Errr, perhaps I'd better ready a backup plan."

END OF CHAPTER 1

IT HAS BEGUN!!! Or whatever. I realize that the story hasn't developed much past "concept" at this point, but please review what you see here. I'm one of those people who despise unfinished fanfics, so rest assured, there WILL be more (same Baron-time, same Baron-channel!). Again, thanks for reading, and please review.