Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.
My Life as a Teenage Shinobi
"Okay! After your laps are finished we will start shuriken and kunai practice with our practice dummies! Although our girl Tenten doesn't need any practice because her aim is already true!" Gai said to his students, grinning widely at Tenten. They were in another forest clearing (different from Kurenai's clearing!) which Gai claimed to be their training area.
"Well, are you three ready?!" Gai asked enthusiastically, gaining an automatic response of "Yes, Gai-sensei!" from his favored student, Rock Lee.
"Good! Now let's--,"
"Yo! Gai!" a voice interrupted the ever excited teacher. Gai turned to see his three fellow jounins who also led a group of genin. Well, except Asuma, who had one chuunin.
Kakashi waved at Gai with a cheesy grin on his face that no one could see because of that stupid mask he's always wearing that covers his face that's supposedly the most handsome face anyone's ever seen. Unfortunately, no one has ever seen it. Not even Gai knows what he looks like, and they go way back!
Although there is a rumor that the owners of the ramen stand have had that once in a lifetime spectacle. But that's a different story.
"Yes, my rival and two other friends?! How may I help you on this superb day?!" he asked them, completely forgetting about his students.
"Well Gai, we have a question to ask you," Kurenai said.
"Okay then, ask away!" Gai said, giving them the thumbs up.
Asuma started talking. "It seems that our students are going through pub..."
He was interrupted by Kakashi, who burst out laughing.
"Pu...pub...hahaha!" Kakashi laughed.
Asuma and Kurenai raised their eyebrows at him. Gai's students stared at him. And Gai...?
'My rival Kakashi, your reaction to the word puberty is childish, and immature! But I respect you for being so open with yourself and others and not minding what anybody else thinks of you!' Gai thought with a clenched fist.
They were all silent as Kakashi's laughter subsided. Gai was the first to speak up.
"Ah, so your students are going through that wondrous time of growing out of their youth into adolescence? And you're asking me for advice! I feel so honored," Gai said, wiping an imaginary tear out of his eye.
"Um...yes, so, what exactly did you do with your students?" Kurenai asked.
Tenten and Neji stared at Kurenai with wide eyes.
"For the love of Hokage-sama! Please don't make us relive it!" Tenten screamed. Neji agreed with her vigorously in his mind.
Tenten and Neji then grabbed Lee and went off to run their forgotten laps...which they suddenly remembered.
After seeing this, the three jounins looked curiously at Gai.
He cleared his throat. "Well my fellow jounins, it all started about a year ago..."
FLASHBACK: About a year ago...
"Gai-sensei?" Lee asked Gai while they were training one day in the forest.
"Yes, my beloved Lee, what is it?"
"Well..." Lee looked at Tenten and Neji who were behind him. They looked back, as if they were waiting for him to do something. And so he did.
"Gai-sensei, Neji, Tenten and I are all thirteen now... teenagers, don't they have to go through a process to fully become adults?" Lee asked, a little more timidly than Gai was used to.
Gai grinned at the three of them. "So you want to know about puberty! Well gather around and have a seat, my favorite students! Gai-sensei will tell you all about it!"
Lee immediately sat down right in front of Gai, fully attentive of his father figure. Tenten and Neji took a glance at each other and slowly walked towards Gai. Tenten sat a few feet away from Lee and Neji sat against a tree near Tenten.
"We're listening, Gai-sensei!" Lee said, excited.
Gai cleared his throat.
"Well my students, puberty is a fickle thing. You don't know WHAT will hit you! The flames of youth will be put out forever, and in its place, a spark of adolescence will appear, cautiously growing into a raging inferno, where hormones will run fervently!"
Lee seemed fascinated by this piece of knowledge. Neji and Tenten stared at the green clad teacher, wondering if this was a good idea at all.
Gai continued with his wonderful speech.
"Of course, the stages are different for both sexes! The female begins to sense development in their body parts, the male experiencing a spurt of growth everywhere! If you know what I mean!" he winked to his students in his Gai-like fashion.
At this, Tenten and Neji's mouths dropped to the floor. Well, Tenten's practically did. Neji regained his composure and leaned against the tree in a more comfortable position. Lee was listening intently, nodding all the way as Gai continued.
"...the females will get their first monthly visitor! The males will become manlier than ever before! And let's not forget the most distinguishable trait of being a teenager...ACNE!"
Tenten and Neji sweatdropped, faces burning brightly as Gai told them more about the excitement of being a teenager.
'Well...we asked for it...' Tenten thought.
Lee suddenly raised his hand. "Gai-sensei! I have a question!" he asked.
"Yes my little Lee! What is it?"
"Earlier you told us that hormones will run...Gai-sensei, can you explain what hormones are?" Lee asked, a curious look on his face.
A vein popped out of Neji's forehead. He shut his eyes tightly. 'Stupid Lee. I hope Gai doesn't get into...' his thought process was interrupted as Gai started to yell out his answer to Lee's question, the topic that Neji had been dreading since he began.
"Well, once all of those changes have been encountered, males and females will start to see each other in a new light! The female, overcome by a rage of passion, develops a fixation on the male of their choice! The male, usually overconfident, flirts with other ladies, completely oblivious to the female that is infatuated with him! If they end up finding each other..."
Tenten blushed hard as she scooted a little away from Neji. Both of them refused to look at Gai anymore, as his words kept coming. They stared at the ground in front of them, and Tenten felt light headed as he started talking about "reproducing a new generation of youth!".
Even Lee felt a bit sick. But he still continued to listen, not wanting to miss a single word that was coming out of his idol's mouth.
'No...this was definitely not a good idea after all,' Tenten thought as she winced at Gai's descriptiveness about the current subject, all in his cheerful voice.
Gai, meanwhile, was enjoying himself thoroughly. He was happy that his students had gone up to him, of all people, and asked. So he decided to not miss a single fact, and explained everything in excruciating detail. 'Just for my students!' he thought.
He was still talking about the wonders of new life being born onto the earth as Neji suddenly...fainted.
"Neji-san, are you ok?" Gai asked the unconscious boy, worriedly. Tenten kneeled next to Neji, lightly patting his cheeks (on his face, of course!).
"Neji-san, I thought you were strong!" Lee cried out.
"Now now Lee, Neji may be strong on the outside, but inside, he is just like that pink haired girl you like so much! Think of it as comparing the pink haired girl's strength to Neji's mental state!" Gai said, smacking Lee on his back like he was an old chum.
Lee had to think about Gai's words for a while before he realized that his sensei was putting down Sakura. He looked up at Gai with a semi-angry face.
"Gai—,"
"Sensei," Tenten said out of the blue, "I think he's coming to—"
Neji gasped as he came back into consciousness, saying, "My flames of youth will never burn out!"
He then noticed that he said that out loud. His team merely stared at him.
Finally, Gai broke the silence and pumped a fist in the air.
"That's the spirit, Neji!!"
END FLASHBACK: Present
Kurenai and Asuma sweatdropped after hearing Gai's story. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at him.
"Now that was an interesting story," Asuma said.
"Yes, it certainly was. Now if you'll excuse us, we have our students to attend to," Kurenai said as she jumped ninja style into the trees. 'I knew better than to ask him. I'll never listen to those two again,' she thought, referring to Kakashi and Asuma.
Kakashi waved to Gai. "Then we'll be going too. Thanks Gai," he said as he went after Kurenai.
Asuma nodded to Gai then prepared to take off.
Gai suddenly had a revelation.
"Wait, Asuma!" Gai said, stopping him.
"What is it?" Asuma asked.
"Have you stopped smoking? I knew you could do it!" Gai said, patting Asuma enthusiastically on the shoulder.
Asuma said nothing as he jumped into the trees, wanting to get far away from Gai as soon as possible. He had been reminded of his favorite pastime.
'Smoking...how I miss you...'
-::-::-::-
AN: There goes Gai's chapter! I must say that was pretty fun to write. Just imagining what Gai would say to his students was fun I wanted to put more Neji in it, but I couldn't find anyplace that he could have fit! So I just made him faint. Yeah, sure, easy way out. Neji was just a bit OOC, but he DID just listen to that horrendous speech of Gai's. Cut the guy some slack! And Gai's comment about Sakura...even though I like Sakura, I couldn't resist adding it in there, just to show how unstable Neji's mind was at the moment...
This is a day after the last chapter, by the way. Yep, Asuma's gone two days without smoking already! Give him a hand, everyone!
I tried to keep it as PG 13 as possible...but if for some reason you guys think it should be a higher rating, I will go to PG if it needs to be. But 13 year olds should already know about this stuff anyway.
Next chapter, we'll be revisiting Team 7! How's Sakura doing? What about Sasuke's voice? And Naruto, not having ramen in two days...is he still trying to beat Sasuke at his maturity? And now that Kakashi's talked to Gai, will he give them some advice?
As always, reviews are appreciated! Thanks for reading.
Kawaii Yoshi