The shower was a ritual Ellie did not care to repeat. She was supervised the entire time, with only a thin shower curtain separating her from the nurse who had been given the job. She was, of course, allowed no razor, and she'd always hated having furry legs. It seemed, however, that she no longer had a choice in the matter. The blood came out of her hair without too much difficulty, turning her skin an ugly red for a very brief moment. It was a moment she revelled in.
They'd left the bandages on her arms, which shot to hell her plan of scrubbing at her wounds until they became raw. She guessed that they'd probably expected that. That didn't stop her from tearing at them, but the nurse quickly caught on to that particular fact and warned her that if it didn't stop, she'd lose the privelage of the shower curtain all together. Even her need for pain couldn't cancel out her need for privacy.
After that, it was off to group therapy, which she spent admiring her chipping nail polish, and then back to her room again. She was channel surfing when Ashley arrived.
"Ash! Hey. Um. Nice to see you."
"How are you doing?" Ashley gave her an uncertain look. "Sorry I couldn't make it yesterday. I was with Craig and... Marco wanted to come, too, but he's away on some leadership thing. I talked to him on the phone though and he said he'd try and call. And I got some more of your homework, but Kwan and Simpson said not to worry about it right now if you were stressed or whatever."
Ellie was stunned. "You told them?" She tipped her head back and stared at the ceiling for a moment. "Why not just broadcast it to the whole world? Eleanor Nash, queen of the insane."
"What was I supposed to do? Tell them you were sick? They'd want to know, okay? Much as it pains me to say it, teachers are human. They care about us." Ellie shook her head in disgust.
"Go, please. I'm not up to conversation."
"Ellie, I--"
"Go!" Ellie turned her back on her, and her words became muffled as a consequence. "Please, Ashley. It's not about you. I just can't do this right now." Ashley waited a moment, then left, dragging her feet slightly.
If Ellie had thought about it, she would have sworn that Dr. Cavanaugh had spies in the hospital. Not even two minutes after Ashley left, she entered Ellie's room. "You've got a concerned friend roaming around," she said carefully. "You sure you won't visit with her?"
"I don't need a lecture," Ellie said. "Not that that will likely stop you."
"Relax. I'm not here to lecture. I just want to know what's going on. That's all I've ever wanted to know."
"And I want to be left alone," Ellie said, then sighed. "I didn't feel like talking to her. I don't want anyone to see me like this. Is that such a big deal?"
Dr. Cavanaugh gave her a studious look before responding. "Alienating yourself from your friends won't help you heal," she said finally.
Ellie rolled her eyes. "Are you stalking me or something? I mean, don't you have other patients you should be badgering?"
"I had a cancellation," Dr. Cavanaugh admitted. "An outside patient couldn't make it, and since we didn't get a whole lot done in our session this morning, I thought I'd pop by to see how you were doing. So, how are you doing?"
Ellie's lips curled into a condescending smile. "Wonderful. Never been better. I just love being checked on every five minutes, told I can't look after myself, and being watched while I shower. It's wonderful, too, not having a razor or my own clothes or even a deck of cards. I mean, how could I hurt myself with a deck of cards? I'd be lucky to get a paper cut. I can't tie them together to hang myself. The worst I could do is maybe jam one into my eyeball." She rolled her eyes. "This place is boring. Beyond boring, even. What's the theory, that we'll get so bored that we'll eventually talk just for something to do?"
Dr. Cavanaugh shrugged. "Seems to be working with you." She wondered after if this was such a good thing to point out, but luckily, it worked. Ellie immediately calmed down.
"Well at least you're honest." The words were grudging, the tiny bit of respect in her voice even more so, but Ellie said it none the less.
"One of my policies," Dr. Cavanaugh said. "I don't lie to my patients, and I hope that they'll do me the same courtesy. I'd rather you not talk than have you lie to me."
"When can I get out of here?" It was the first time Ellie had gotten up the nerve to ask. She was terrified of what she might hear.
Dr. Cavanaugh thought for a minute before answering. "I will let you out the minute you can look me in the eye and tell me that you have no plans of hurting yourself. Can you do that now?"
Ellie met her eyes for a moment, then looked away.
"You should get some rest," Dr. Cavanaugh said. "Therapy is exhausting, emotionally and physically." She offered one last sympathetic smile before exiting the room, and leaving Ellie to get some sleep--and revisit her nightmares.