It's a feminine thing.

By: Defafaeth Mechqua

Summary: What happens when you take a drinking, killing, gambling, smoking high priest by the name of Genjyo Sanzo and turn him into a woman? This story for one thing.

Chapter 2: Give me some TLC!

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Day 3 of transformation. Early evening.

A wolf whistle. "Hey there honey! Why don't you come over here and give me some tender lovin' care!?" A random guy called out.

"Yeah blondie baby! If you come on over we'll show you a good time!" One of the random guy's friends hollered.

Gojyo snickered behind his hand as he quickly cast a look towards his companion. Sure enough the priest (or was it priestess now?) was calmly reaching for his gun. Not the kappa could honestly blame him. In the fight Sanzo's clothes didn't exactly pull through plus it was raining, so he had to use clothes kindly donated by the inn keeper's daughter and let's just say . . . . that the girl was really into pink. Pink as in a pink shirt, pink pleated knee-length skirt, and pink underwear (not that he'd seen them . . . . . ).

"Please Sanzo!" Hakkai pleaded. "Don't pay them any mind. They're males . . . it's in our nature. . . . " He trailed off as Sanzo abruptly stood and headed towards the random guy's table.

The kappa smirked. "This gonna be fun to watch!" He exclaimed leaning back into his chair.

"Mowe hoo!" ("More food!") Goku bellowed as he shoved the last meat bun into his overstuffed mouth.

Hakkai sighed. What did he do to deserve this!? He must've accidentally squished a god's favorite bug. . . .

(Up in the clouds Kanzeon glared down at Hakkai. "Damn right you did! I liked Cocky the cockroach! He was my best spy!")

With ease the priest walked up to the table with the gun behind his back. A fixed frown marred his other wise calm visage. One could almost see the hate located deep within his malevolent violet gaze, which was rightfully directed at the random guy.

"Ooooh! Hey they're baby-cakes!" The random guy (whom we shall call Ping) called as Sanzo approached. His eyes hungrily scanned the priest's feminine form. "I see you've taken up my offer. I promise you won't – "

"Shut up dick-head." Sanzo snarled whipping out his Smith & Wesson.

The random guy laughed, as did his friends. Not the wisest thing to do around a pissed off not-so-pious homicidal clergyman . . .

Click

BANGA bullet lodged itself into Ping's hat and sailed off to places unknown.

BANG

Bye bye Ping's decanter of sake, which was now just shards littering the floor.

BANG

A millimeter away from Ping Jr., if you know what I mean and if you don't then boo on you.

Stunned eyes turned upwards at the priest. "Wha . . . wha . . . wha . . . ." Ping stuttered.

Sanzo planted a foot beside and empty stool beside Ping then bent down till he was level with Ping's face. "Listen shit eating mother fucker. I'm NOT in a good mood. I WILL kill you if you piss me off again." He said in a deliberately slow manner. "Understood?" Suddenly the gun barrel was pointed at the random guy's forehead.

Ping nodded numbly. "Y. . . y . . . es . . . m . . . m . . ma'am . . ."

"Good." And with that. The mighty Sanzo-gone-woman stomped up stairs to get some sleep. With a couple of packs of Malboros and lots of cases of beer to help him along the way of course.

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Day 4 of transformation. Afternoon.

Blast it all! From pink shorts to white mini skirt. Well it wasn't so bad. Except for that bra that was a wee bit too tight, the bloody white and sleeveless sailor shirt. Ah well at least the priest still had his sandals.

Sand dune.

Tumble weed.

Sand dune

Sphinx.

Sand dune.

Dead thing.

Sand dune.

Great pyramids of Giza.

Sand dune.

Ergh. Endless desert it seemed. Sanzo's eye twitched as the kappa and saru continued arguing. Sanzo's trigger finger twitched as the kappa's and saru's shouts grew drastically. Sanzo's other hand clenched and unclenched ever so often as the kappa and saru started shoving each other against the sides of the jeep. So it was inevitable and quite foreseeable, to anyone with half a brain, that Sanzo would irritably reach for his gun. Irritably turn around. Irritably click off the safety. Then faster than the speed of light he irritably stood and fired between the two bakas.

"U – RU – SA – I!" He growled firing thrice more.

Goku and Gojyo gulped. They trembled in fear before the all mighty Sanzo. The almighty Sanzo with the harisen. The almighty Sanzo with the gun. The almighty Sanzo with golden credit card which was used to feed them. The almighty Sanzo that was probably PMSing at that very moment.

When the priest was sure that the two were thoroughly frightened into submission he sat back down. "Where's the nearest river?" He asked listlessly.

"About three and a half miles." Hakkai replied. "We'll make it there by nightfall."

"Hn."

"Hey Gojyo." Goku tried to whisper. Key word there is TRIED.

"What?" Gojyo TRIED to whisper back.

"Is it just me or is Sanzo's hair growing?"

The kappa blinked then peered at the priest's golden locks before turning back to the monkey. "I think you have a point there. Maybe it's because of that smoke he inhaled."

"Maybe."

"URURSAI!"

BANG!

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Day 4 of transformation. Nightfall.

"MY meat bun!"

"Fuck you baka saru!"

"Guys – "

"Dammit monkey I got it first!"

"NO! It's MINE!"

Sanzo didn't look back as he walked into the forest with a small bag in tow and no one noticed his departure as they were all preoccupied at that moment. A sigh escaped his lips. Damn this was just so hard to deal with! His life was already fucked up enough without having to deal with the inhibitions of a female body! Not to mention all those males leering at him. The newly turned female shuddered. Oh the horror.

Swish

The sound of nearby rushing water caught the amethyst-eyed priest's ears. Silently he walked toward the sound with a soft sigh of relief. Finally he could take a bath not to mention change of those disgustingly slutty clothes. So what if he stole some of Goku's attire to wear? The monkey didn't even wear the clothes anyway and besides the priest was bout five foot four now thanks to his transformation. So the nearest he could get to his size would've been Goku's garments. Why didn't take the saru's clothes in the first place? Because Hakkai insisted it would be more inconspicuous if he just dressed as a female. Although Sanzo couldn't help but be suspicious about the chi-wielding demon's REAL motives.

He shook his head as he neared a small spring with a miniature waterfall supplying the pool with clean water. He didn't want to think about ulterior motives of his companion at the moment much less the workings of that particular demon's brain. When Sanzo had reached the edge of the stream he dropped the bag he was carrying and quickly stripped himself of his clothing. He unzipped the bag and took out the necessities; soap and shampoo.

Splash

Sanzo closed his eyes to enjoy the water. At least it wasn't cold; it was quite warm actually. He opened his eyes then reached for the bar of soap and started scrubbing himself clean of the sand and dirt. Never noticing the leering eyes flickering in the shadows.

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TLC: Tender Loving Care