Hey there my lovely readers! I feel bad 'cause i couldn't write back to ya'll, but I'ma try to write back here, 'kay? Oh, and I don't know if you guys were paying attention last chapter, but in it, Toshio said that something happened 15 years ago, well it was 20 years, just so you guys don't start flaming me on it! - okay, so enjoy this chapter, and I'm sorry that my updates are a bit long, but i try my best, so please be patient with me! Love ya!

Chapter 18

Kagome was silent. Her face still and her body tense. Toshio was sitting down, breathing heavily, and hands fidgeting. His eyes were set on Kagome's, nonmoving, yet quivering. He would shake once in a awhile, and his face was as a pale as paper. He kept on taking deep intakes of breath, as if wanting to say something, but then he would cower back into very back of his chair.

" Are going to tell me or not?" Her voice hled an edge, making Toshio wince, as if she had reached out and pushed him. He swallowed, and then took one last breath, before answering.

" Kagome, what I'm about to tell you might come as a shock, but you must understand, that your mother and me chose to keep this from you. When I met your mother, we fell deeply in love. I would see her to school everyday, and then walk her to class. We were very young, and very foolish, and we thought that we could anything. We had made plans to get married and then have a big family and live in the city, where we would be succesful and have lots of money. Ha, guess that didn't work out, huh?" He gathered some breath before continuing.

Finally, I gathered my courage and went to go ask her if she wanted to marry me, but we got into a horrible fight and I ended up losing my courage and left. That night, I thought about a lot of things, including my future with Rumiko. I gave myself two options, live life regretting that day forever, or get over my pathetic pride and beg for forgiveness. I'm guessing you know what I chose. The next day I sought her out, and begged for her to forgive me. I proposed, right under that tree, where I saw you with Inuyasha. It bought back so many memories, good...and bad." He caught off for a few moments. Kagome took advantage to ask a question.

"Bad? Why did you say bad? Tell me." Kagome wasn't harsh or demanding, but calm and quiet.

" Bad, because, so may things happened there. Things that I would prefer not to remember. It still pains my heart to talk about it, but you have to know the truth. It happened a few months after our engagement. We were at a party. I was at least 21, she was about 18, and we were out, having a great time. But then someone brought out drinks, and it wasn't until afterwards that we found out that drugs were also going around the party. Your mother took a drink that had a drug in it. She started to feel sleepy, and I decided to go and get a taxi, seeing that our friends didn't want to leave. While going outside, your mother told me that a man came up to her, and asked her for a dance, she denied, but the man insisted. Again denying, the man grabbed her arm and dragged her out to the corner of the room." He shook his head, and Kagome saw tears welling up in his eyes.

" Please don't stop." Dreading what he would say next, she found herself pleading with him to go on. She was sitting on the edge of her seat, gripping the hem of her skirt with both hands.

" Well, feeling dizzy and sleepy, she couldn't fight him. He struck her to near unconsciousness, and at that point I was desperately trying to find Rumiko, asking everyone. but everyone had been drinking, and it was very dark, hardly any light at all. It hadn't started out that way, but we had been too caught up in the party, to notice. That petty excuse for a man took advantage of your mother, that's right, he raped her. huh, I found her on the floor, crying her heart out, gripping her skirt tightly, and her shirt was wrinkled and torn in some places. Her hair seemed ruffled, and her face was smudged and bruised up. I felt the world crash down, pieces scraping against my skin. I still have those scars, invisible, but ever present, stinging me at every chance.Despite the loud music, the only thing I could hear was my own heartbeat, beating slowly, each beat louder than the one before it. Your mother's cries were slowly fading into the beat of my heart, and I fell to my knees. Crawling over to her, I saw a pool of something dark next to her, and I cried out to her.

" She saw me and I choked. That look. I will never forget that look. I've never seen so much pain in her eyes. Before that happened, I loved to gaze into your mother's dark eyes, full of innocence and warmth. They held a certain sparkle to them, I repeatedly found myself lost in them, only found again by your mother's soft laughter. But that look, it held nothing of those things, instead it held...fear. Terror! Not just terror, but confusion, as if asking why her. I couldn't answer her, I couldn't find an answer for those pleading eyes, begging me for an answer, for a salvation from this agony. I felt so helpless. I cradled her into my arms, and there we stayed rocking away in a corner, lost in darkness. The same darkness that decieved us, and that cloaked the horrendous crime commited in it's depths." Tears slipped from his eyes now glazed over, turning back time to that place that he tried so hard to erase.

Kagome was speechless. Her mother had endured such painful things, and yet she seemed so cheerful and happy, completely the opposite of what Toshio described. But then she remembered one night, after Toshio had left. It was dark out, and the moon was gone, only the stars shining in the sky, as if enjoying their time alone. Her mother was underneath the God Tree, shaking and crying, arms wrapped tightly around herself, she was rocking and trying to surpress her cries, as if afraid. Approaching her, kagome remembered her mother asking one question aloud.

"Why?" It was a heartwrenching, even for a 7 year old, to see her mother so frightened. Her eyes were shut tight, so Kagome was confused at her question.

"Mommy, why are you crying?" The little child reached her hand up to her mother's cheek. The mother opened her eyes, and saw her child looking up at her, worried and scared. Her mother had just stared at her, but then she grabbed her and pulled her into a tight embrace, not wanting to lose her. At least that was what she said.

" Your so innocent, I don't want to lose you." Her mother's pleas whispered in the child's ear wasn't directed to her, it was directed to the woman herself. Kagome understood now. She had always wondered about that night, but now, it all made sense. She was talking to herself, not wanting to lose her innocence, even thought it had already. Kagome cried fresh tears, not out of sadness, not for herself, but for her mother. Her mother didn't need to cry by herself anymore, she had her daughter there now. So now she doesn't need to keep it to herself, she can share with me, and let her feelings come out, where they should have been since the begining. Kagome brushed away her tears, and faced Toshio, face set and ready for the rest of the story.
" Go on." Kagome gave him a steady stare, and urged him with a hand gesture. He sighed and clasped then unclasped his hands for awhile, then brought his face to level with Kagome's.

" When I finally convinced her to get up and walk outside with me, she was clinging to me with every ounce of strenght she had left. Finally when we got into the cab, the moment I put my arms around her, she fell into a deep sleep, exhausted, and emotionally destroyed. We still didn't live together, I lived in my own apartment, and she lived with her parents, but I doubted that she wanted to go there, so I took her to my home. She was still asleep, so I carried her into my room, where she slept throughout that night and the following day. She woke up later on, I think it was about 8 p.m., I'm not sure, but it was late. She took a shower and stayed in there for 2 hours. she said she felt dirty. I couldn't say anyhting, how was I suppose to comfort her? Would she want me to hold her, or to stay away from her? I was completely in the dark, scrambling to her requests. But, thankfully, she wanted me near, and she excepted my help. I took her to the doctor's office, to make sure that she wasn't hurt, well at least physically." He took a breath, and got up from his chair. Walking over to the kitchen doorway, Kagome heard him muttering to himself. Something about the results.

"Toshio, what is it? Why did you stop? Please, keep going." She begged him, but he wasn't prepared, he never was, but it was a long time ago, he needed to come out with it.

"Kagome, what I'm about to tell you, is going to be hard to take in, but you have the right to know. hhhhh, Kagome, you weren't our first born." That was the only way to say it without causing her a heart attack, but that didn't soften the blow Kagome had just recieved.

so sad...i know, i got so depressed writing this, or was it me watching Lion King that got me depressed. Hey, that movie is sad, alright, and i'll admit it, I cried. So what?It's not like I'm the only one...okaaay, nevermind. And wasn't that last part a shocker? And your gonna have to wait for the next part, hahahaha! I'm such a meanie! Alrighty then, on with the replies, and don't forget to review!

Replies:

AngelofLight-I know, I'm a monster! Look at me with my green skin and yellow teeth, and with my powers of horrible cliffies! So, did it shock you? What Toshio said to Kagome I mean.

kagome1312- Look, I have the power to make people cry too! But, I'm sorry that you cried...hopefully this makes you cry MORE! - Just messing with you, you know I love you!

Destiny's Avenger-I'm in the dark. The only part I understood was that you thought my story was nice. What's OOCness? And, double digits? I'm scared of the dark...help...

demonchik39-Nooo, they don't suck, they're just, badly develpoed.- I still love you, undeveloped stories and all. It only took 4 days, or so...Isn't school evil?! I think it's the government's way on keeping there youth disciplined, with there teachers of stinky breath and massive mouths! hehe. Naw, it's just the stinky breath.

Tranador- I was kinda disappointed with your review. But, it's better than not reviewing at all, right? oh well, love ya anywayz!

Inu-babe666-I don't know if she's going or not...maybe he'll stay...well, if he goes he might be eaten by a big demon, and we don't want that, do we?...I LOVE YOU TOO!

AlixMM- So, you want Kagome to leave? Alright then. Just 'cause you said so. - Nooo, she's not going, or is she? Everyone would love to know the answer, but your all going to have to wait! Man, you really don't want her to go huh? Your right thought, they are like her second family. But, Toshio is blood, and he has his reason's for his wanting them in America, but maybe, just maybe he'll change his mind. Just keep reading!