::The Power of Prose::

Disclaimer: Stuff belongs to people, not I.

A/N: I apologize on my hands and knees to the following people: William Shakespeare (Sonnet XVIII), Elizabeth Barrett Browning (How Do I Love Thee?), Lord Byron (A really bad parody of "She Walks in Beauty") and of course, William Wordsworth (I Wandered As Lonely as A Cloud). All of them are probably turning in their graves now.

Oh, my Eru/God/Mary-Sue exclamation! AN UPDATE!

*

The next day, Glorfindel awoke to the sound of a sort of screeching from his bedside window.

Dear Eru, what is that?

From below:

'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
For thou art more lovely and more temperate!
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:'

'Oh, Illuvatar,' Glorfindel swore as he screwed his eyes shut and tried to block the noise out. But the Sue's, I mean, Allesa's voice was too strong, and even the most downy of Elven pillows could not block it out.

Back from below:

'Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade'

'Thou art not jesting,' Glorfindel cursed into his blanket, 'for I am immortal.'

And it went on:

'Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:'

'Please, Manwë, Mandos, I have served Elrond well. What have I done to deserve this? I have already wandered once in Death's "shade", and at the moment, would gladly do so again.'

But Allesa persisted, oblivious to the torment she was imposing upon Lord Glorfindel:

'So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.'

There was a sound of porcelain breaking down the corridor, and Legolas shouting "Not sonnet eighteen!"

Glorfindel had no idea what "sonnet eighteen" was, but had a rather clear enough perception that realize that Legolas had suffered through it before.

But it did not stop at breakfast. As the lord dressed, combed out his famed hair and donned dark blue leggings (just in case circumstance hailed that he needed to be quick on his feet) and a white tunic, there was more unbearable poetry, once fair, marring his day from the gardens beneath his balcony in all its angsty sadness.

'How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.'

As Glorfindel took upon all his discipline in an effort not to stab himself to death, the prattling continued, always following at what the Sue assumed was a respectful distance as he moved from his room to the Hall of Fire. Claim my fea again, Mandos, please, please, please....

'I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.'

Glorfindel resisted the urge to wince as he met Legolas in the corridor. The two blond elves shared a sympathetic look with one another. Glorfindel placed a hand on Legolas' shoulder as the Prince helplessly recounted the verse and prose that had tormented him throughout sleepless (cough) nights.

'I love thee to the level of every day's'

Glorfindel walked another step and mutter, 'and I hate thee to each night',

'Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.'

They continued walking. 'But loud are words, do they grate upon your ears contrite?'

'I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;'

The Hall seemed an eternity away. 'And women, their joy from quiet spite?'

'I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.'

Another step... 'And I love thee muchly, to end thy days,'

'I love with a passion put to use'

Glorfindel ground his teeth together to form a reply, 'Your decadence in varying hues,'

'In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.'

Legolas smiled slightly and tittered, 'And my new griefs, and my sorrows, and my...'

'I love thee with a love I seemed to lose'

The two elves chorused together, 'May it stay lost, leave eardrums unabused,'

'With my lost saints, -- I love thee with the breath,'

Glorfindel wanted to cry for joy as the doors approached. 'And I love thee with sword, dagger and death,'

'Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose,'

Another few steps.. 'Illuvatar, her brain already confused,'

'I shall but love thee better after death.'

'And I, you, not at all.' Legolas and Glorfindel both broke out into a run as the hall doors were in their reach.

*

Glorfindel stared at his food and viciously stabbed his eggs with his fork.

'He walks in Beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.'

Legolas was absently speaking to Elladan, having created a filtration system that removed offending bits of chopped poetry from his experienced ears. If Glorfindel had a choice, his ears would have been bleeding.

Why, Manwe? I have never had a Sue before. I do not *want* one!

Glorfindel swore he heard laughter upon the wind.

'One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er his face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.'

Elrohir, amused, realized that the fork was going to break if his friend clutched it any tighter. The remains of Glorfindel's breakfast, most of it uneaten, looked as if they had been stomped upon by Olog-Hai (real, Middle-Earth creatures, unlike some of the invented Uruc-Hai, Uru-Hai, Orc-Hai, Sugar-Hai and Uruk-Die of other Sues) and then spat out by the Watcher-In-The-Water. Elrond found it rather nauseating and thanked every valar and valie for Celebrian. Allesa wailed on.

'And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!'

Erestor could not help but snort into his tea from his seat directly opposite Glorfindel. The eldar was hardly innocent; two lives had assured everyone of that fact. But as he looked up, the chief advisor thought it rather wise not to make mention of it at the moment. The Balrog would have fled in terror from the look on Glorfindel's face.

Suddenly, Allesa's tone became more self pitiful.

'I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.'

Glorfindel wanted to cry in anguish. Surely there was a way to end this pain? This suffering? The elf lord suddenly saw Legolas in a new light.

'Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.'

Killmenowkillmenowkillmenow. Uttering a rather strong Quenya curse, Glorfindel poured himself a rather large amount of miruvor. Mildly from his seat at the front of the table, Elrond commented lightly as he munched, quite unperturbed, on his salad, 'Alcohol so early, Glor?'

Glorfindel drowned the glass in one swallow. Aragorn subtly moved all alcoholic beverages away from the golden-haired elf's reach.

'The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed---and gazed---but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:'

The kitchen staff hurriedly cleared the table in an attempt to salvage their crockery and hard work before Glorfindel got any other ideas on what to do with the remaining hard-boiled eggs that were left uneaten. Frodo looked rather green, but beyond that, enjoying the morning, and the rest of the table seemed to share the hobbit's sentiments. Glorfindel began to glow.

Erestor raised his eyebrows in alarm. He knew that Glorfindel, having had a new life, befriended Olorin, gained powers that no other elf had, wise beyond the ages, powerful elf lord of an ancient house and one who lived at once in both the physical and the spiritual, could easily do what he did at the Forge: tap on the soul that was the Glorfindel of Gondolin, old and terrifying to face in battle, shining with an inner light that Laurelin and Telperion once fuelled. But at the dining table?! His friend was, however, most definitely glowing. A heat emanated off his body, and the fork that the servers had been unable to wrench from his grasp suddenly appeared far too sharp. Elrond also seemed to have noticed.

'Glor...?'

The Gondolin elf seemed oblivious, his eyes burning in rage. The Lord of Imladris was getting rather alarmed.

'Glor... Put that fork down...'

'For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils...'

It was only by the combined efforts of Erestor, Lindir, Elrond, Elladan, Elrohir and Aragorn that they managed to peel and infuriated Glorfindel off a trembling Allesa. Thankfully (for the Sue), Allesa was, well, a Sue. But having a glowing, tall, vanya/noldo elf charge at you from across the dinner table with a fork does things to people.

However, the love struck Sue seemed to be thinking of it as a come on.

Glorfindel spent the next hour in the healing house drinking a mild sedative, cursing, swearing and generally using expletives that made even Elladan wince.