CHAPTER 10

Apologies for the lengthy delay. I've had some big computer problems which hopefully are now fixed!

Hutch

I decided to call a cab to take me to the airport, to save any further grief with Louise. I really wasn't up to arguing with her again. I was thrown, but not deterred, by the Vegas PD changing their minds, and of course I was worried about Starsky. I knew they hadn't ever been happy with the prospect of me being there, but I couldn't care less about them. I did care about my partner and I was terrified that he wouldn't have the back-up he needed. This had nothing to do with my belief in his competence, it's just that I've always believed that partners should be there for each other, to watch each other's backs and to stand by the other. Starsky and I had always worked that way and I saw no reason to change it now. Gunther's shooting had only reinforced how much I loved my partner.

I looked at Louise who was pretending to read a book. She was such a mixture: on one hand, very warm and loving, and on the other hand, selfish and jealous. Was I being uncharitable here? I know that my friendship with Starsky was closer than most friendships, and I guess I might be perceived as being unreasonable in expecting her to understand our bond. The fact was that I did expect her to at least realize I needed to help Starsky during this difficult time. Starsky's physical recovery thankfully had occurred, but he needed to find himself again and regain that old cocky confidence that at times had bugged the hell out of me. I'd give my right arm for it to make a reappearance, but there was no sign of it returning and I had been shaken myself to discover just how badly he was feeling.

I couldn't lose him, any more than I could lose a limb. It wasn't reasonable for her to expect me to choose between the two of them. It wasn't a contest. I loved them both and I knew I had enough room in my heart for the two of them. I wanted both of them in my life, but even facing an ultimatum given by Louise, I wouldn't turn my back on my partner. Even if he wasn't hurting--and he was--I wouldn't do it. The fact remained that he'd never ask me to drop Louise and, if anything, would back away from me first, providing that I let him. I wasn't about to allow that to happen. My head started aching. Why did this have to be so difficult?

"Louise, I've got to go now. Please try to understand..."

She looked at me as she spoke calmly. "I do understand that he's important to you. But you must realize just how much I love you and, although it might make me selfish, I wanted you to be around and help plan OUR wedding. If you can't make an effort, I've got to ask myself just how much I mean to you and whether this marriage can work with just half a commitment from your side. You've got two weeks to make up your mind. If you're not back a week before our wedding, then don't bother coming back."

I stared at her sadly. There it was, the ultimatum.

"I'm going now, Louise. I'll call you when I can." I turned to leave.

"Don't put yourself out!" I didn't miss the bitterness in her voice as I left.

I was lucky enough to get a non-talkative cab driver to the airport. I needed to think and definitely didn't want mindless chatter going on around me. I never liked being cornered, but Louise seemed determined to make me choose between her and Starsky. Why couldn't she see how much he needed me? I know I can be overprotective of him, but I also know that it cut both ways. He felt the same about me. The two most important women in our lives, prior to Louise, had been Gillian and Terry. Gillian had loved both me and Starsky, and had truly understood how I relied on him. Terry had been perfect for Starsky and had loved me, too.

I didn't question Louise's love for me, but she certainly didn't care for Starsky. It was such a mess. She couldn't seem to understand just how much I depended on him, and thinking about it, I wondered if she thought our friendship was a one-way street, with Starsky being the one who leaned on me. This made sense since she'd only known us since the Gunther shooting, when Starsky really did need me. However, I'd had more than my fair share of leaning on him over the years, and neither of us would have it any other way. If you're lucky enough to have a friend that you can trust with your life, then you do let yourself rely on that friend at all times. I realized then, that the situation with Louise couldn't continue indefinitely. Either we reached a compromise or the wedding wouldn't happen. The problem was, I didn't want to compromise if it meant hurting my partner and best friend. I'd been perfectly honest with Louise when I'd said that I wouldn't resent her spending time with a friend who needed her, and I'd never try to prevent her. No one in this world realized the value of a trusted friend as much as I did. Why couldn't she see it in the same way?

The flight to Las Vegas was uneventful and gave me even more time to think. As I sat there, I wondered why the Vegas cops had tried to stop me, but figured that they just wanted to control the entire situation. However, I wasn't prepared to trust Starsky's life with them. I didn't like anything at all about this situation and prayed that something would give quickly so that we could both return home safely. I'd then have to face Louise and make some decisions. I really didn't want another disastrous marriage behind me--one was more than enough.

Vanessa had been a self-serving, money hungry bitch who'd done her best to make my life miserable. She'd turned out to be as controlling as my father and full of bright ideas about what I should do with my life. Unfortunately, I didn't agree with either of them and had alienated them both. Vanessa had been murdered, but my father was still alive and still had periods of trying to control my life and telling me how I was wasting myself. I knew he disliked Starsky, but he'd come to realize that it was dangerous for us to discuss my partner. Despite our differences, I did believe my father loved me in his own way and was anxious to hold on to whatever relationship we could have. He'd learned early on that criticizing Starsky was something I would find unforgivable. So an uneasy truce had sprung up between us.

I didn't think Louise was like Vanessa really, but she was certainly insecure and jealous, and I never liked being controlled, as my father could confirm. Maybe I could help her with her insecurities, but I found it difficult to be sympathetic to anyone who was against Starsky. I also found myself resenting the position she was forcing on me. I had no intention of dropping him from my life or ever taking him for granted again. Gunther had changed everything for me, too. I suppose people always made such promises to themselves after a close call, but I meant it. I'd had a taste of what it would be like without Starsky in my life and I knew that I wouldn't be able to bear it. I knew that I'd been moody and difficult with him, particularly over the last few years, but he'd always stood by me. Even Kira had failed to destroy me and thee. No one was going to break our bond. I tried to shift my thoughts to more cheerful issues, and I deliberately thought about our better times--the times we had laughed, rather than the times we'd cried. I found myself relaxing as I remembered my playful partner's tendency toward childish jokes, and the pranks we'd played on Dobey over the years. Is this Starsky or Hutch? As if it really mattered. We were the same in all ways that mattered the most. We'd had more than our fair share of rough times, but we'd had a lot of good times, too, and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

The flight landed in Vegas on time and, as I walked through the terminal, I was surprised to hear my name being called over the intercom, asking that I report to the information desk. I hurried along, hoping nothing was wrong.

"Detective Hutchinson?" A man in his late twenties approached me.

"I've got a message from Lieutenant Cameron. Could you please come with me?"

"What is it? What's happened?" I was trying to fight back the fear that was growing in me. I didn't even question how he knew I'd be here--maybe because I was so worried.

"I'm sorry to say that there's been a murder at the Hackney Boarding House. Detective Starsky has been killed..." I went numb as the world seemed to freeze.

"Lieutenant Cameron asked that you come with me and I'll take you straight there. He thought you'd want to see the crime scene." I was aware of being pushed toward a car but of little else. Surely I should be feeling something, shock, anger, but all I felt was numb. Cold to my heart.

"Here, Detective, have a drink." I felt a flask being pushed into my hand and I automatically took a sip. Something was wrong, but my mind was too foggy to determine what it was. It couldn't be, Starsky couldn't be dead. I felt the ground rise up to meet me, but before I could fall, I was caught and pushed into the car. My last thought before blacking out was that my best friend was dead.