Iceburn

A/N: This is my angst-ridden Friends fic. I'm sorry if that bothers anyone but something in me needs the release, and it's only fiction so if it's not to your taste, you don't have to read it. I'm hoping that people will, though, as I'm going to try my best not to make it so depressing that nobody is interested. That's not the purpose. The purpose is to show how love can survive even the harshest of times and the worst of odds, and stuff like this actually does happen in real life. The TV show is light and fluffy, because it's a comedy, but this isn't. I'm using the characters but changing the tone completely, and I don't own anything except original characters and places.

The fic overall is rated R for content, language and sexual scenes, not all of which are explicit but not all of which are consensual. You've been warned!

In this fic Ross never married Carol and has no children. Ross and Rachel are together and have never broken up (there has been no 'on a break') but Rachel still works at Central Perk, because I want her to. Monica and Chandler are not together – yet, and Phoebe and Joey are both single.

XXX is a break in the story where asterisks would normally be.

They say that Hope is happiness –

But genuine Love must prize the past;

And Mem'ry wakes the thoughts that bless:

They rose the first – they set the last.

And all that mem'ry loves the most

Was once our only hope to be:

And all that hope adorned and lost

Hath melted into memory.

Alas! It is delusion all –

The future cheats us from afar:

Nor can we be what we recall,

Nor dare we think on what we are.

George Gordon, Lord Byron

Chapter One – Thursday

Ross hated Thursdays. It meant almost the weekend but not quite, so there was one more day of work to endure before he could spent time with his sister and friends and of course, his girlfriend Rachel. He had planned a romantic trip away as a surprise, and couldn't wait to get home and see the delight on her face when he produced the train tickets and told her to pack. He loved making Rachel smile; in his opinion, there was nothing better in the world. When she smiled, his heart filled with ecstasy, especially if he had been the one to elicit that reaction. She was so special, and some days Ross would spent hours simply wondering what he had done to make a woman as wonderful as Rachel fall in love with him.

It would be lovely to escape the city for a while, too. Ross had given a big televised speech on Monday night, and while it had been exciting at the time, now he was worn out from the travelling and preparation that went into something as important as that. He was looking forward to heading back to his sister Monica's apartment and finding warmth in Rachel's welcoming arms. That sweet thought kept a smile on his face as he rounded the corner to the bank. He'd decided to go during his lunch hour and withdraw a decent amount of money to spend on Friday, during and after the journey upstate. It was a pretty quiet village he and Rachel were going to, so he didn't want to have to hunt for a cash machine every five minutes when there probably wouldn't be one for miles. As long as he had enough in his pocket to see them through lunches and dinners, they would be fine.

Two hours later, Ross was as far from fine as it was possible to be, and nothing would ever be the same again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rachel laughed as Monica swatted her arm away, looking irritated. "For the hundredth time, no, I am not telling you!"

"Oh, come on!" Rachel said pleadingly, following her best friend to the sofa and sitting down beside her. "Please? How will I know what to pack?"

Monica rolled her eyes. "Rach, you'll have plenty of time to pack. How long does it take you, for God's sake?"

Rachel shrugged, reaching for the box of chocolate cookies on the table. "That depends on where we're going, doesn't it? And if you told me, I'd know, and then it would be sorted." She gave Monica her best puppy-dog expression, hoping it would weaken the resistance, but it was no use. Monica simply folded her arms and concentrated on the television.

This Thursday afternoon was so boring, Rachel thought, as she picked her way through her cookie. She didn't have to start work at the coffee house until that evening, while Monica had a day off from her catering business. The unofficial reason was that nobody had booked Monica for at least a week, but that wasn't to be mentioned in the flat. On top of all that, there was the fact that Rachel's boyfriend, Ross, was taking her away at the weekend but she didn't know where. The entire trip had been intended as a surprise, Rachel knew, but somehow Joey and Chandler, their friends across the hall, had let it slip, and since then Rachel had been pestering Monica to tell her the details. Monica had pointedly refused every time.

"Okay, I'll stop asking," Rachel said resignedly. "I'm just excited. I can't wait for Ross to get here so he can pretend to surprise me and we can plan stuff! You know, your brother is so great."

Monica looked at her and smiled. "He is pretty cool. To you, at least. Now, remember to act like you've no idea about the weekend when he tells you, otherwise he's gonna kill Chandler and Joey."

Rachel nodded. "Of course. I'll be the soul of discretion." She giggled. "I'm even picking up Ross' vocabulary!"

"That is worrying, on so many levels," Monica commented, before laughing too and helping herself to a cookie as the two girls fell to discussing the soap opera playing on TV.

XXXXXXXXXX

As Ross stumbled along the pavement, barely able to see where he was going, only one thought occupied his mind: Get to Phoebe's, get to Phoebe's. Her apartment was nearest, a couple of blocks away, not far, he had to keep going…

But it was so difficult, when every ounce of his body ached in ways he hadn't considered possible. Ordinarily, he would have worried about how other people were staring at him; now he barely registered that there were other people at all. He had to focus his energy before it disappeared completely…

Phoebe's building came into sight, and Ross forced himself there, all the time thinking, 'Get to Phoebe's, get to Phoebe's.' At a couple hundred yards he almost stopped, too fatigued to continue, but his stubbornness came into play from somewhere deep in his psyche and he made it to the front door. He managed to press the buzzer for Phoebe's apartment. He thought he heard her answer. It didn't matter, it was too late, everything went black.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Why do we always have to play Twister when you guys come over?" Rachel folded her arms and watched as Joey laid out the plastic mat on the floor. Monica was fetching crisps for them all and Chandler was holding the small board with the spinner on it, which decided whose hand or foot went where on the mat. Both he and Joey looked highly excited.

"Because it's a fun game," Joey said, almost-seriously, as he straightened up and accepted Monica's food gleefully.

"Or because they love staring at us in various compromising positions," Monica suggested airily, making Rachel chuckle.

"Yeah, that's more like it. Shouldn't we wait for Ross and Pheebs? They might want to play, too."

"But they're not even here," Chandler pointed out quickly. "I mean, they can join in when they arrive, and until then we can warm up."

Rachel exchanged a roll of the eyes with Monica, but they agreed to play and the game was started. It didn't take long for them all to get into tricky situations, and a couple of times Rachel nearly fell. She couldn't stop laughing as Joey tried to pull her legs from under her, and Monica slipped and landed on her bottom. It was only when a knock came from the front door that they paused and let Monica wriggle out to answer.

"Joey, no!" Rachel squealed as he achieved his aim and sent her to the ground, cushioning her fall and grinning wickedly at her. "It's a good thing Ross isn't here to see this," she mock-scolded, but Joey didn't respond. He was staring past Rachel to where Monica was now standing, and when Rachel glanced over, she realised why.

A police officer was talking in lowered tones to a stricken-looking Monica, and Rachel immediately sensed something was not right. Quickly, she scrambled to her feet and rushed over, followed closely by Joey and eventually a confused Chandler.

"Mon? What's going on?" Rachel asked, eyes flicking from her pale friend to the solemn officer. Her heart felt heavy in her chest as the reality hit her. Something had happened. She didn't know what, but it was a really bad something. She'd become almost extra-sensory where he was concerned.

"It's Ross," Monica managed to croak out, her gaze never leaving the officer's rugged face. "He's… He was attacked…" She shook her head, unable to say any more. Rachel heard a gasp from behind her – she was sure it was Joey – and thought she might have reacted similarly if her body hadn't suddenly gone numb.

"What?" Her word came in a whisper; it was the most she could manage. "Where? How? Is he okay?" She directed these peppered questions at the officer, who finally acknowledged her presence and looked directly at her. "I'm his girlfriend," she added quietly, and somewhat defensively.

The officer nodded curtly. Rachel decided she didn't like him much. "Mr Geller is seriously injured in hospital," he said, and at this Rachel did gasp. "We think he was the victim of a sustained and brutal attack, although since we haven't been able to speak to him, we can't say exactly what happened."

"Oh my God." Chandler's voice came from somewhere, and Rachel was glad she didn't have to say anything. She didn't think she could. She could hardly think. "Where did this happen?"

"We don't know yet," the officer said shortly, as if annoyed with Chandler for daring to ask. "He was found at the apartment of a Miss Phoebe Buffay, who called the ambulance and told us to contact you, as his next of kin." That part was aimed at Monica, who nodded absently. "When he eventually wakes up, we'll be able to get a clearer picture of what happened. I'm sorry. I must go."

Rachel wanted to demand more answers, but the room was swaying dreadfully and she felt like she was floating. She screamed, and everything went black.

XXXXXXXXXX

"He's useful."

"How do you know? Looks like upper-class shit to me. Bit of money, what's the big deal?"

The harsh voices traded off against each other, penetrating Ross' brain with a sharpness that made his eyes water. It might have been better if he had been able to see, but he doubted that almost as soon as he thought it. He wanted to be able to reason with these people; that would have been his normal recourse.

"Well Mac, I dunno about you, but I haven't had any in a while, and I'm gettin' restless."

"If you mean…"

The first was vicious, the second reluctant. Both were confusing. Ross hardly dared breathe in case it renewed their attentions, and he was physically broken enough as it was. All he could think about to make himself stronger was Rachel. The way she smiled, the way she tucked her hair behind her ears, the way she bit her lip when he made her come. Flashes raced through his mind as he struggled to stay conscious.

"And what if I do? Don't fuckin' mess with me, Mac. Don't fuckin' tell me what I can and can't do. It's different when it's one you fancy, isn't it?"

The sneer scared Ross more than the words did. What were they capable of? He used to think everyone had a limit that could be tested but never breached. He was beginning to realise he might have been very wrong.

"I didn't…"

"Shut the fuck up and hold him. I'm gonna need someplace to put this."

Put what? Ross was sure he was about to be shot, and when he heard what sounded like the clanking of metal, his whole body tensed. He sure as hell wasn't going to cry, but it was almost impossible not to make some sort of noise as he felt someone's hand touch the back of his neck…

What was going to happen? He dreaded to think…

A/N: Yeah? No? Review pretty please - but no flaming, okay? ;)