Salvation
Note to reader: Sorry if this story is highly confusing, since this is a collection of various concepts and stories it is very detailed and most things are important. If you can not understand it please bare with me and I will revise in the future...Enjoy...
Disclaimer: I own nothing…seriously…
The pain ripped through her lower abdomen, the red liquid flowing down her legs and in to the ankle deep blood. She felt silver metal slide easily through her collarbone and out her back. Her once bright eyes glazed over in a retarded glimmer. The ache didn't hurt her, the absence of it did. She felt tears slowly run down her face, like little spiders tickling her sensitive flesh. All around her milky legs, mutilated hands and arms of corpses hung their disease-ridden claws on her skin, pulling her.
…watching me wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
saving me, raping me
watching me
'No Mamoru, she doesn't want to become enslaved on the deadly path of destiny. In your arms her pain is locked away, but away it's sharp claws rip and shreds her exposed soul. Please Mamoru, please…'
She was, I am Usagi, Usagi; I am, was she.
The diminishing rays of early fall glimmered through her translucent drapes. The early morning breeze ruffled her undisturbed sheets. She ran one slender finger across an undying wrinkle that wouldn't go away, its opal silky texture caressed her trembling skin.
…never goes away,
never goes away…
The distant clamper of her mother's shoes hit the newly polished hardwood. Her azure eyes closed in preparation for the screeching pain of departing her euphoric non-existence and to the dark realities of existence. The rhythmic thud of flesh against wood snapped her self-control and brought icy tears, flooding her eyes.
"Honey? Are you awake, please get ready for school. I hope Chiba-san did not keep you late." She giggled and muttered the rest under her breath "Usagi, I hope you used protection, as much as I want a grandchild…"
'That could be an understatement' Usagi sat up from the ground near her door, and she flinched as her shoulder slid across. She expected pain, but received none it worried her.
"Mom." Her voice was hoarse, she felt like her insides were being ripped to pieces. She glanced at her clock, seven twenty-three am. Aimlessly she picked up her school clothes and started the daily routine.
Slipping her shoes on at the front door, her hand closed around the cool knob. Her brother's loud slurping of his cereal, and her father's rhythmic turning of the daily newspaper, slightly wet from the early morning dew were the expected monotonous repeats of the previous days. The obituaries were smeared in to some incomprehensible cloud of death. Her mother's bracelets jingled in rhythm of the chopping of onions and carrots that were mere components to their lunch for school. Closing her eyes once more, she turned the knob and a crash of pain slit her newly woven sanity. She dove in to the thread that she shared and molded with Mamoru. His presence reconstructed the broken threads with some of there fibers still attached, the others, like the ones before tangled her web of sanity.
Simply a projection, a simple projection that is of the soul's complexity. Was represented by a web that kinked every strand that was an ideal part of sanity together. With everyday activity strands can be broken but by the same efforts, fixed. However if broken too much, the web might collapse into the kingdom. Insanity. Recovery is very slow and rare. Convalescence. It takes a lot of will to be in the kingdom and exit it.
The web is a beautiful asset to understand sanity, but could be a lethal weapon when someone else foreign to the body has control. Soul mates take a terrible risk merging their webs and then souls. Many are mistaken and one could over power the other. But for the selected few emotions run freely over and over the webs and can be a sanctuary.
Always.
Her skirt brushed up against her legs, the wind flowing around her body, never touched her, a presence always made sure that nothing touched her except pain, and, well, pleasure.
The rhythmic clip claps of her brown shoes were drowned out by the chaos of Thursday morning businessmen and women. It was assigned as a mandatory part of the uniform last year for Amarante high school. 'The flower that never fades,' the school was named for the daughter of the principal. She was born without an arm and one lung, a mutant; not human by the definition. She was now 18, and still in the same spot that she bloomed through childhood and teenage. The same plastic mask that forced air down her life beaten throat, and the same needles punctuating her young decaying skin; she, in no way changed at all. The pallor upon her flesh scorched in the early morning rays. Her blood rose and descended as the rarely opened hospital doors swung open blowing the prying diseased breeze upon her body. While her physical barriers crumbled in the bleak reality of life, her mental building stood tall and strong but they couldn't stay erect without a purpose.
Her lips moved, her muscles moved in her tongue, and muttered inconceivable literature of fear. Along the narrow sidewalk, crowded with busy citizens of Japan, a group of three girls slid in beside her, but they were not her walls she couldn't break now, not now…
"Usagi! Wow your actually awake, I thought you'd still be in bed, snoring you're ass off" Remarked a black haired girl, her green eyes flicker with amusement. Her two friends giggled with her, like bitches following their master's will.
"I am overjoyed to prove your false assumptions wrong, Kara" Muttered Usagi, her azure eyes focused on the leather weaving of a man's suit case in front of her.
'Woven so tight and detailed, how does it not get tangled?'
The blue and bone white walls, freshly cleaned by yesterday's storm slowly rose in to her view. The sun hid behind the walls. The school resembled a prison which Usagi walked into almost everyday now. She stopped to the dismay of the people in the back of her; anxiety spiraled down her spine and rested on the scar near her thigh. The cooling comforting touch of a calloused hand wrinkled her uniform. Hot breath ran over her ear and down her neck. Large hands found their way to rest under her breast, and gently rubbed her stomach possessively.
Usagi leaned into the intimate touch and fell down to the abyss of Mamoru, her Mamoru. His love so overwhelming her threads throbbed with the status of complete bliss. The twig frames that supported her weak web grew to beautiful ebony wood. Too dark to see, but the essences of him still lingered. Her love for him grew, warming her heart and veins pulsating with desire, hot, rich love…
"My love, what is it that you fear? Murmured Mamoru while dragging a finger delicately across her jaw and lips. The world oblivious to them, they stood on a single strand whilst the world on another clothe all together. Covered with mutual consent can dispatch from both own web and together create a web or thread strong enough to hold the lovers but too weak to sustain any severe emotions. Usagi's eyes glazed into a teary glimmer, the ache started deep in her heart, knowing the thread that they shard so closely will snap. The walls will break, and web will tangle.
"Never go away… My fear… Don't leave me," mumbled Usagi, her hands came to wrap across his large warm ones. Tears of anguish swept down her face… Yes the thread was cracking, and so was she…
"You have to go to school, sweetheart. You," Usagi whirled around in panic, she azure eyes locking with his midnight orbs. Tears flowed down her face and her love flowed into him. Her lips trembled and arms clasped him close in proximity. Her rapid breaths never went unnoticed by him.
"No, no it's cracking! The thread, help me fix it, please. Don't let me go. Don't let me be consumed. I can't go back, the fibers snapping… I need you. Please, Mamoru don't go away. I love you, I need you please." Usagi buried her head into his chest and sobbed, tears being absorbed with his warmth. But Mamoru pulled away, the warmth gone. He casually stuck his hands in his pants, offered a smile and walked away. The thread snapped, and Usagi fell.
…Flames of Sol…
"She is lost again…" A woman ran a hand with long black nails through her messy black hair. Hot tears ran down her pale face. Her outer walls collapsed and before her head it the ebony desk, her sorrow made a pool for her to drown in. A hand closed around her shoulder, the walls rebuilt hiding her sorrow once more. The silent question reigned in the air of the dark room. Neither occupant wanted to answer…
"Trowa, the Prince broke her one to many times. If your companion does not reach her, she will never be saved."
"He is trying, you forget he to is fighting his own sanity."
"He is fighting for understanding. She is laboring for her life."
…Japan…
The gravel moved, the muscles clenched and relaxed with each precise movement towards the cliff. Still her soul, was lost in the big city roaming aimlessly about, it took comfort that not a single essence was there, but was saddened at the lonely existence. Was she broken? Did she cross the lines of insanity for the final time? Was the Kingdom mad for her lingering around the borders?
Usagi often came to the cliff, after she descended to 'between'; time was a necessity for stability after such a descent. It would have been useless to go to school at the present moment. Then again it is useless that she was alive right now anyway. The cliff had a view of the lake; in the mornings the colors would be green and yellow with hints of blue. But the sunset with the glowing colors of orange and blue. She loved the sunset, the contrasting colors mold to beautifully. There, err… here; her body usually wondered when lost. The lights guided it, but there were other lights, dangerous lights. Usagi slipped near a tree and closed her eyes. The torturous pain that sleep could help fill in the void in her heart. He loves me, he loves me, and I love him… yes we love each other. And the petals kept falling…
…Dark Alter…
"You do good my pet."
"All a pet needs is to be stroked once in awhile, and it shall follow the master's every wish." Replied the silky voice of a man, his eyes flashing with lust for the woman in front of him.
"I'll pet you when you eat your fill, love" Whispered the haunting voice of a woman. The man walked slowly and seductively to the woman. Kneeling in honor, the lady opened her legs. And with one quick smile, he indulged till he was fill. What a good
pet…isn't he?
… Japan…
Usagi's eyes flicker to her watch, eleven thirty-seven am, it wasn't a bad time for her soul to find her body. Only about 4 hours ago, she could have been diagnosed insane. Around ten fifty she started for her school. She had been standing out side the classroom of her class for the past couple minutes. She knew of her appearance, and the fact that she looked like shit. Lunch would be in a few minutes, so what was the point of learning physics anyway. She walked along the hall and out into the quart yard. The trees grew high and strong, Usagi could sometimes find herself climbing one of these, with a rope in hand, and jump off any edge for the last time. But she couldn't, she had Mamoru right, didn't she?
Usagi walked away and walked through the doors in the main hall, just as the bell rang for lunchtime. She unlike some many others was walking in the other direction, determined to make it to her locker with out breaking.
Reaching the cream colored piece of crap she opened it and grab necessary books. Ami slid in beside her frowning to the point of it looking painful.
"Where the heck were you!?! Missing one period is understandable but three!" Quietly yelled Ami, her blue hair fell into her eyes, she brushed it back and with record breaking speed closed Usagi's locker and grabbed harshly onto her arm dragging her into the crowds. Usagi remained unresponsive, using her reserves to build walls protecting her fragile web. At the table near the tree she was looking at prior to the lunch bell, three of her friends sat munching on random lunches. Her stomach growled at the lunch she purposely left home.
"Oh so she returns!" exclaimed Makoto while eating some rice and chicken. Her brown hair was messy as usual. Minako being as observant as always was the first to notice her appearance.
"Oh, did you not look in the mirror this morning?"
"I don't care." replied Usagi as she sat down and rested her head in her arms. Needless to say nobody bothered her for thirty minutes of peace. Half way through her fourth period she received a summons to the principals office. Passing the doors on the way was like judgment day in prison. She was suddenly aware of the invincible bags under her eyes, the missing paleness of her skin, and the hidden chains the tied her to torment.
"The principal will see you now, Tuskino-san" Snapped the over-stressed secretary, working in a high school does that to you, it was her fault anyway, fuck the secretary, shit she doesn't even have a nametag.
Usagi nodded and silently slipped into the humid office. The principal, a man of fifty years, had started to gray near his hairline. And sharp eyes that can pierce your soul, Usagi made a mental note to never look at his eyes.
"You do realize that you haven't been to school this morning." Stated Auroch-san his eyes never leaving the attendance papers for her.
"I got lost."
"Tuskino-san, you have been here for three years already!"
"Sorry,"
"You haven't been to school on time lately, and the grounds keepers saw a student resembling you in the quad."
"I was there,"
"Why?"
"It was pretty."
"Your parents are being informed as we speak."
"Good."
"You may leave… to go back to class."
The bang of the door was a reply enough. Thought the squeak was high enough to cause a headache. The secretary slipped in, kneeling in front of him she sent a questioning gaze to his eyes.
"I don't think your wife will approve of this…"Whispered the secretary, her answer was brief but a defiant mouthful.
"Suck."
Usagi slid into a class from the ethereal calmness of it comforted its occupants, but Usagi felt none of it. It was sixth period, and tests were coming back. She stood in the doorway and watched the beauty sour into undesirable chaos as students pushed pass her in a frenzy ignoring her, her anger and angst. As the seats filled up, she stood. The teacher walked in hitting Usagi to the floor with her big hips. Slowly she dusted herself off and walked to the remaining desk.
Wait till the threads find their place, too quickly and I'll be wrapped too.
The test was passed back, 'eight-two percent' it was better then her previous quiz. But what did it matter, grades were not important, only Mamoru…
The bell rang, vibrating her threads the brink of tautness, and she clenched her eyes as students pilled out of the class and school. After crawling pathetically from the breaking edge, Usagi slid out of class and rested her head on the cold lockers as students filled out. Nobody was acknowledging her existence and that was what she wanted.
School slowly grew quieter and Usagi slipped out just as the janitor locked the heavy doors. On her way home Usagi walked by the lake and suddenly felt nauseated at the thought of anything beautiful. Her front door was slightly open, she made sure it was closed and locked. Nobody was home, she planted herself by the fire and watched the growing embers sizzle and pop.
Around five o'clock, Sammy came home, at the end of the hour her mother and finally at night her father. They were a happy family again, really they weren't. Sammy went through a tantrum and ended up grounded in his room. And Usagi got a lecture about school, however her mind was somewhere else when the doorbell rang. Springing up she introduced her guest with a huge hug.
"Mamo-chan…" She caressed the name with her tongue. She was truly happy; she had found herself slipping with the presence of other people around her and was quickly becoming over whelmed. Greeting her parents politely, Usagi gently dragged Mamoru to her room. Finally facing him she brushed her lips lightly across his, inwardly sighing at the pleasure. Looking at his closely she noticed a creamy smudge near his lip. She brushed it away and fell into his arms.
"Oh Mamoru, if you haven't given me the strength today I would have broken, oh thank you I love you so much." She giggled into his chest forgetting all the pain he cause her and only focused on the pleasure. His arms encircled her torso and rubbed her lower back. His lips gently sucked on her neck, and massaged her neck with his lips. Usagi moaned at the intimate touch and felt her web absorb the desire. He pushed her to her bed and laid her down, then slip in himself. A warm hand rubbed her stomach, and greedy eyes violated her body spiritually. He smirked at what was going to happen tonight, flames surged down to his loins, but this time it hurt.
Slipping from the bed, he reached the doorknob he heard a moan from the bed were Usagi was currently occupying.
The threads are breaking but what do I care. Aren't they warm yes, no need for Mamoru, all I need is here. The inferno of sol will find me and warm my frigid heart…
The bang of two doors silenced the house and rattled the occupants except one sleeping figure.
…Dark Alter…
"That bitch, her dreams are mine." She scratched her long nails along the ebony throne. That bitch…
…Flames of Sol...
"Come to bed, you are working to hard…" Muttered Trowa his green eyes gleaming behind the tangled haired woman. Her spider-silk dress glimmered in the retarded radiance of the flames that engulfed their sanctuary. Her hesitation was not unnoticed by the strong willed figure in the bed. Tinted black nails brushed her rural hair behind her ears, with a belied purpose also brushed the salty tears from dampening her web.
Lovers make a secret pledge of endearment to cast their love and of their fealty. The bed of passions long ago is only comforted by the presence of two becoming one. Ache will substitute the calm comfort of silk sheets. Her love for her soul mate died and rotted with the crashing waves of life and immortality. But to fall into a bed with another man… her threads couldn't take the ache of loss again…
"My queen…"