CHAPTER 20

Starsky

Normally, I would have thoroughly enjoyed playing with Carrie's trains, and she had quite an impressive set, but my heart wasn't in it. She was a lovely little girl and her smile reminded me of her mother. Fortunately, she was enjoying herself too much to realize that my enjoyment was half-hearted at best. I remembered playing trains with another young girl, Lisa Graham, and Hutch had been with me. Not playing trains, but sitting back teasing me, and calling me an overgrown child. I tried to pull myself together. Naturally everything was going to remind me of my partner, at least for awhile and I couldn't afford to go to pieces every time I thought of him. I hadn't noticed when Vicki joined us, but when I looked up, she was sitting on a chair watching us. I grinned at her and continued to play. The doorbell rang. Grimacing, Vicki got up. I figured that Lloyd had arrived.

The sound of voices indicated that they were heading up the stairs, and I stood up, ready to greet him.

"DADDY!" Carrie jumped up and hugged her father. Her pleasure at seeing him diffused the tension that sprang up the moment he'd seen me.

"Er, Lloyd, this is David, a friend from LA who's just visiting. David, this is Lloyd, I believe you'll remember him."

I grimaced, I'd ended up in the pool during our last encounter. So had Hutch, in an attempt to try to help me.

"I remember. Nice to see you again, under more pleasant circumstances." I was determined to be polite, despite his barely concealed hostility.

"Daddy, David likes trains and we've been playing. Do you want to join us?"

He smiled at his daughter and I realized that, despite his difficulties, he did share a bond with his little girl.

"Actually, I've just remembered that I've got another appointment, darlin'. Sorry."

"Daddy, you promised you'd visit."

"Sorry, sweetie. What about if I come back later, and we spend some time alone." Carrie looked disappointed.

"Let me show you the picture I did at school first. It's downstairs but I'll bring it up. David and Mom would like to see it, too."

It was very obvious he was running out because I was there. I felt that it should be me to leave but, before I could say anything, Vicki had her say, waiting until Carrie left the room.

"Lloyd, you can stay if you want. Carrie's been looking forward to your visit. Why don't you stay and we'll go back. I'd only planned on a drop in visit." Some drop in, I thought, a two-hour drive, but I didn't want to cause trouble and Vicki obviously knew the best thing to do.

"You could stay, Vicki, and we could have a family afternoon." His glare toward me was unmistakable.

"I'm sorry, Lloyd, I, er, I've got to work tonight…" I tried not to react to her words. I knew that she didn't for she'd told me that morning she had a few days off. "You have a nice visit with our daughter and I'll see you next time." She was as cool as a cucumber, but the hostility coming from Lloyd was unmistakable.

"Okay, me and Carrie'll play trains. Your ma home?"

"No, she's out shopping but will be back later. Marta is still here. We're going."

Vicki fairly ran down the stairs, and I followed closely.

"I've got to stop Marta from leaving. She's the housekeeper here and I've given her the afternoon off. Wait here, David, and I'll go see if she's still here."

A few minutes later, Vicki returned, looking a lot more relaxed.

"She's here and will stay in. I told her I'd make it up to her sometime. God knows what we'd do if she left. She's wonderful with Carrie and keeping house. Carrie gone upstairs to her dad?"

"Yeh, she went up when you were talking to Marta."

"I'll just say goodbye and then we'll be off."

I suspected that she wanted to escape from Lloyd and I couldn't blame her, as the tension was thick since he'd arrived.

A few minutes later, we were driving down the road and she pulled over.

"I'm sorry David. I saw how he looked when he saw you and I figured we'd best get out of there. As long as Marta is around, I'm not worried about his behavior with Carrie. He really does love her and even at his angriest, he's never shown any hint at wanting to hit her. If he'd been drinking, I wouldn't let him near her, but sober, he's as loving as any dad."

"But he's hit you."

"A few times, yeah, but hey, I'm a survivor."

"Are you sure…?" I couldn't continue, not wanting to plant doubts in her mind.

"About him and Carrie? Yeah, I'm sure. He doesn't even like her to see him angry and even at his drunkest, she seems to have a calming influence on him. If he'd walked in on you at my place, things could have become ugly. He'd never do anything to put her at risk and I've got to believe that. Diane, his recent woman, was great. She seemed able to keep him off the alcohol, in a way that I never could. I was very sorry when they broke up, because he started sniffing around again and trying to make like we're a happy family."

"Is that why you've not committed to Steve? From what you've told me about him, he's a good man and you do seem to love him. Forgive me if I'm sticking my nose where it doesn't belong, but Lloyd is obviously causing you some trouble still." It was a nice change to be thinking of something other than my own all-consuming problems.

She smiled at me. "Yes, he is. I'm scared what he will do if he thinks I'm seriously involved with another man. If he thinks he's losing his daughter and she's getting another father, well… Yes, I am scared, David. Before you suggest a restraining order, I've tried it and it isn't worth the paper it's written on. Besides I don't want to cut Carrie off from her father. He is a problem, but I don't want to think about him. I'm still worried about you, David, and I want you to talk to me." She paused and I braced myself.

"Okay, but can we get back to your place first?"

She grinned. "Right, but you're not getting away with avoiding the subject. We'll go back and then we'll sit down and talk again. At least it's a nice day for a drive."

"Carrie's terrific, Vicki. You've done a great job with her." I wanted to lighten the conversation while I could.

"Thanks, David. She is great, but I'm not sure how much credit I can take. My mom's terrific and she spends more time with her really. I've cut back on a lot of the extra hours I was working, but I still don't have enough time with her."

"It seems to me, you're doing fine." We lapsed into a comfortable silence and I found myself relaxing again. Whatever it was about Vicki, she had the right influence on me and I could almost believe that everything was okay. As long as I didn't think too deeply, or turn around to talk to Hutch.

Hutch

Unfortunately, we couldn't get seats on a flight until early the next morning. I was anxious to get back but Dobey was right, driving overnight wouldn't achieve that much more. It was pretty late now and even if we drove straight through, we wouldn't be there until eight am. The flight got us in at eight-thirty and my body was screaming for rest. There was nothing I could do but I decided to stay at Starsky's place. I knew Louise wouldn't have returned yet, but even the thought of facing her things was too much for me. I needed to concentrate on Starsky and how to get him back. Staying in his apartment brought him nearer to me again, especially as I looked at all of the photos around the place. So many of the two of us, of Terry, of his parents, and even a small one of his no-hoper brother, Nick. Nick was dead now, having been killed several years ago. Poor Starsk had been devastated. He'd never had the relationship he should have had with his brother, but it was too late now. He told me I was his brother in every way that counted, which made it even more difficult for me to comprehend that he'd walked out on me. As I got undressed and at last allowed my exhausted body to sink into Starsky's comfortable bed, I hoped he was still okay and that I'd catch up with him in the morning.

I thought back to Vicki and how she and Starsky had become friends. She was certainly stunning to look at, and turned out to be a very nice person, too. I'd been surprised at the time that Starsky hadn't tried to keep in closer contact with her, but he'd just shrugged and said they were friends. I wasn't sure I believed him, but there had been no question of the fact that he'd never actively pursued her. The odd phone call every now and again. Then he'd met Terry and she'd obviously been the one for him. The perfect woman for Starsky who'd loved us both and never tried to control him. Not for the first time, I cursed Prudholm and the rotten luck that seemed to follow us around. Terry could have helped him through this. Or could she? Surely I should be able to help him and he'd shut me out. It still stunned me that he'd actually left, without saying goodbye. In a few hours' time, I'd have all the answers I needed, because I was going to demand that he talk to me.