Dedicated to Nathan Day
You could have told me sooner
I have never been in love before:
I have never experienced the feeling of wanting someone for yourself and caring for that person so much and trying to make him notice you. Reaching my 6th year at Hogwarts I found it. It wasn't a simple crush or teenage sexual tension. It was Love.
I was in love with Harry Potter.
Every time I saw him I got flip flops in my stomach. Every time I looked into
vivid green eyes I wanted to him to notice me so bad and whisper those three words inside my ear. Suddenly, everything he said was funny and heart warming. Sometimes I just wanted to grab him and kiss him senseless; but that's fantasy. Unfortunately, I was dealing with reality. It's a bittersweet word that can dive you mad….Reality…
Love and reality don't go hand in hand…
…or do they?
I tried changing my appearance and attitude and started hanging out with his friends. My friends thought it was so cute that I loved him. Even one of them came with me to keep me company while I was with him. I wasn't too pleased for Harry's heart was set as soon as she entered the picture… or so I thought.
Harry had his heart on someone and no one knew; not even Ron or that prissy Hermione. It started tearing me apart. I tried asking him but he ignored me and changed the subject. My friend and I begun this unwritten competition about who would win his heart.
Being 5 times prettier, smarter and thinner than me, she won. Heartbreaking: being vulnerable and tough as I was I still couldn't keep the tears from running down my face. As happy as I was for my friend, deep inside, I was ready to kill.
Love and reality don't go hand in hand…
…or do they?
Days passed. And weeks and months and I was still hopelessly devoted to Harry. There was 2 weeks till his graduation and only his heart-melting smile kept me from losing hope, but after I heard that he would be moving to another country after he left school I started losing sanity and having suicidal thoughts…but I hid them deep within my shadows…
On graduation day there was a goodbye party for the 7th years. Me, being a 6th year couldn't go unless I was invited by an older student so I accepted the invitation of the first person who asked me. I could spend my last moments with Harry…and to tell him how I felt.
Everyone danced and had fun except 2 people: Harry and I. Apparently he had something on his mind because it was rare to see him so unhappy. It was deathly seeing him so depressive. I would have done something about it if it wasn't my fear for rejection… I was afraid I wouldn't be able to put up with his standards and that I would make a poor showing so I held my tongue and dealt with my pain quietly. At least I was happy my date abandoned me.
The clock striked midnight and everybody was hugging and kissing goodbye. The party was over and so was the school year. The train would be leaving tomorrow and taking everyone home.
Suddenly something unexpected happened: Harry came to me and spoke in his magical, sweet voice. His green eyes full of admiration.
"I've wanted to tell you this for a long time," he whispered gently, touching my face.
"I love you"
These words echoed in my head for seconds until I felt myself being swooped into his arms and being kissed by him.
Reality, Fantasy and Love all come together…
…eventually…
That was the last time I ever saw him again.
You could have told me sooner and everything would turn out differently…