A/N: I updated this early just for one person...Jedith. She's one of the most awesome reviewers ever. She asked me to update this on Jan 25th (your birthday?) and since she always makes me feel happy with her reviews, I decided to. She's one of the few who understands my schedule for school is incredibly tighter than most people and yet, I continue writing whether I'm inspired to do so or not. That's why I love her reviews. She knows I try my hardest. So, thank you Jedith! Happy birthday, and this chapter is dedicated to you.

Oh gosh! I just noticed something else! Happy one year anniversary to Behind the Masquerade! *huggles her fic* Isn't it just perfect it's the one year anniversary when it's the angst chapter? ^_^

Disclaimer: *sniff* NO. Leave me alone now, you awful, awful lawyers!

Behind the Masquerade

Silenced Soul

Inuyasha tore through the burning town, unable to see anything else but the castle. He barely registered people in pain and agony as flames licked up their homes and destroyed everything they had. He barely saw the gates smashed into pieces on the ground and laying in twisted heaps, and he barely realized he was probably too late as he saw the bodies of maids littered around inside.

Kagome…

His eyes flickered red for a moment, but turned back golden when he caught the scent of the girl. He growled venomously when he felt her aura reek of fear and hurt, blood thick and heavy in her smell.

Kagome..!

Bolting through the corridors, he tore through wolf or any other hindrance, unable to recognize anything beyond the blood and terror coating Kagome like a second skin. It sent his blood wild as his mind switched into a style he was rarely accustomed with. It had only happened once and he had promised he would never let it happen again. But could he remember that now?

As he streaked through the dark corridors, snickers and laughs were heard from places deeper into the castles, but he ignored them. He would deal with those bastards later. Right now…it was Kagome.

Kagome…?!

A scream echoed through the corridor above and he quickened his already fierce pace, his concern covering the strong thumping of his heart. His body didn't like being pushed so much. He had run back to the kingdom in a time five times faster than normal, although his mind didn't heed his body's reluctance. He had to protect Kagome. He promised himself to protect her. He would not allow another woman to come to harm and he knew failure paid a heavy price. He clenched his teeth together as another scream echoed while he neared his destination, this time far more strident and painful than the last one.

Turning into the room he had felt Kagome's fright roll off in waves, he watched the scene in slow motion, unable to respond as he watched the silver glint. His own eyes were fixed on her azure eyes, staring straight at him with only slight recognition. She shouldn't be scared anymore...he was here.

Kagome.

*~*~*

She felt herself being grabbed callously by her upper arm before being thrown pitilessly into the room in a whirl. She felt the arm that had been grabbed crash into a wall before she could register herself flying through the air, her shoulder blades making a strange cracking sound against the concrete. She screamed at the pain, sliding down the wall and holding her right scapula.

It burned terribly. It was like a thousand needles pricking insistently at her skin. Grabbing the injury, she tried to stop the pain by squeezing it. However, she barely had enough time to even do that as the wolf appeared in front of her, grabbing her up by her wounded arm, and causing her to scream in more agony as he threw her into a chair.

The side of the chair dug into her back and she arched forward in more screams, as she felt blood bleed from her dorsum and the chair split under her weight. She saw the soldier advance onto her again and she hurriedly looked around for a weapon, her hands running over a piece of the now broken chair. Using her left hand to pick up the stick, she swung it with all her might when he drew close to her.

He jumped away from her attack and snarled, showing yellowing teeth as he eyed her with crimson eyes, the color of her blood dripping slowly to the ground. "Wench…" he growled in an animalistic tone, grabbing her under her armpits and slapping her across her cheek.


"Do you yield?" he asked through his teeth, pushing her up against the wall behind her. Her body curved forward in silent pain as her head hit the concrete, with her closing her eyes and silently enduring the pain.

She looked at him rebelliously through narrowed eyes, her chest heaving from the lack of air. "Never…" she hissed breathlessly, peculiar dots beginning to dance in her view as she exhaled heavily.

The wolf narrowed his eyes as much as Kagome's, and pulled her forward, sticking his nose measly inches away from hers. He traced a cold finger down her cheek, causing her to shudder unwillingly from the icy contact and flail her legs around, trying to reach the ground. "Brave…" he muttered in a low whisper, tickling her ear with his breath. "…but stupid."

He slammed her against the wall again, this time making more pain stream through her head. The wind was knocked from her lungs as she instantly clenched her teeth together to try and hide her obvious agony. She wondered if she would get a concussion this way, but realized that maybe, she won't even have to worry about it.

Maybe, she would just die. No one was going to save her…no one ever saved Kagome Higurashi…

She spit at him, her own agony and affliction causing her not to comprehend that it was a bad move. His eyes widened when the spit landed all over his face, before his eye twitched in absolute anger. "Fucking bitch!" He slapped her across the face again, this time using enough strength for Kagome to feel a prickly feeling run all over the cheek and she wondered if it was bleeding.

She bit her lip at the contact, drawing blood from her mouth as well. She closed her eyes when she found herself being thrown again, this time into a screen. It fell over, taking Kagome with it as she winced from the cut on her forehead. Bruises and slashes were appearing all over her body at being thrown around so carelessly and she was beginning to feel frail.

But she had to endure this because if she didn't, he would go after Kikyou. She couldn't let Kikyou die like how her mind was telling her to allow Kikyou to. But oh lord, couldn't someone help her? The pain was overwhelming every part of her body and she knew if he just wounded her one more time, she might die. She never knew it would end this way, with her only sixteen and turning seventeen so soon. She was still pure and she never got the chance to marry, and now, she was dying because of this scum.

She hated the wolves. Why did they have to torture her so? Why couldn't this asshole just kill her off without allowing her to endure such pain?

Feebly grabbing another piece of wood from the broken screen, she tried to swing at the wolf that was advancing again. But it was useless, once more.

"You don't learn," he tsked, a dark glaze running over his eyes as he grabbed her wrist and squeezed. She dropped the wood and he smiled wickedly.

She closed her eyes again, and felt him pick her up by her kimono on her bleeding back. She would have cried out in pain, but she was thrown across the room before a word was uttered.

She grasped the notion that her right arm was twisted into a weird position which she was sure wasn't normal. There were cuts and bruises all over her other arm and legs, as she watched the blood pool around her after the impact. He had just slammed her into a table and her stomach had hurt when it was smashed into the edge, causing the table to crush from the collision. She was scarcely aware that her stomach felt like it was burning in a wildfire as blood started flowing over her lips in blobs of crimson.

Red filled her vision and she was scarcely aware of the blood trickling slowly down her forehead. It didn't make a difference. She felt her blood everywhere. That bastard wolf…just because she had hit him on the head with a stick and tried to impale him through the throat, he was now tormenting her slowly.

Her body felt so weak---so, so weak. She could hardly lift her body up from the ground and it was a bizarre, cold comfort as her cheeks touched the ground. She knew she was dying. It couldn't be anything else. She had never experienced such an emotion before and she pondered, was it acceptance of death? Or was she defying it?

But it was strange. She had never experienced this much torture and suffering in her life before. It should have been unbearable…but it wasn't. All she felt every time she was thrown into an object was a sharp pain and a shuddering scream escaping from her bleeding lips. Was this how it felt like to die slowly? It wasn't as bad as she thought it would be.

Everything just seemed to dim more every time he threw her into something, and the pain lessened with each blow as well.

She winced when he grabbed her hair roughly, bringing her face inches away from his. She wanted to fight back, but she had no more energy left in her. She just hoped he would finish her already. She didn't want that fire-like electricity to hit her body anymore.

"Bitch…try to fucking hurt me, huh? You disgusting human filth…" the wolf jeered, slowly bending down to pick up his sword, still clenching Kagome's hair in his hands. She heard his words clearly and she saw the silver glint through her red vision, and she was scared, or maybe it just seemed like she was? She couldn't understand anything at this point. She just knew the silver glint wasn't something she should be happy to see.

"Do you want to die…?" he asked slowly, a sadistic grin leisurely appearing on his face, his sharp fangs showing. She refused to answer him and if anything, the only response he would get from her was a gurgle as blood continued spilling over her lips. He brought his ears next to Kagome's when he didn't see her respond and asked again. "Tell me, bitch…do you want to die…?"

Kagome didn't nod or shake her head. She wanted to cry. How many times had she wanted to cry during her stay here at the Komiyas? She had never cried though, although it always glittered in her azure depths. She would never let a tear escape through her lashes…not ever since Naraku. Crying only showed her weakness for something. She wouldn't cry to allow this wolf to kill her with pleasure, watching her tears stain her pale cheeks. She'll go down, she knew she would, but she wouldn't go down crying.

She watched as he frowned at her lack of a response, pulling her away from him. Her scalp was starting to hurt, but she wasn't bothered. It would end soon. She wouldn't have to worry about trying to make her parents proud. She wouldn't have to be compared to Kikyou anymore. She wouldn't have to worry about Naraku controlling her. Every pain and problem she felt would end soon.

"Die then." The wolf smirked viciously as he languidly drawled the words that would end her life, bringing the sword up to his victim.


She barely saw the gold…the gold she thought she'd never see again…over the wolf's shoulder as she felt the sudden cold metal run through her stomach, the tip protruding from her back. Her eyes widened.

She screamed. She screamed a foreign scream which she was slightly aware of. It didn't sound like hers. It was the intruding object running through her that she was more aware of. Was this death? Was she dying? Why did parts of her seem to slowly drain away for no reason?

Keeping her gaze on that amber behind her, she could feel liquid water pool out of her abdomen where the wolf's sword had speared her. It hurt. That was an understatement, but the agony running through her was beyond words. Nobody could describe what she felt, that even she herself didn't have enough words to tell anyone. It just hurt.

Kagome hardly felt the hard contact of her body on the ground as the wolf dropped her, sensing the presence behind him. She hardly cared when she heard him scream, something that would never compare to her scream, and split in half, turning into dust as his body hit the ground near her feet. She didn't want to care about his troubles...

She just wanted to sleep.

But the only thing keeping the black shadows from overwhelming her eyes was that gold she couldn't tear her eyes from. It was the only thing keeping her from leaving the world and she knew, if she closed her eyes, she would never open them to see the amber again. She would never again see him…

"Kagome!" she heard him shout, running over to her and dropping that rusty sword of his onto the ground. No…don't drop it… she wanted to say, but only a strange gurgling erupted from her throat as more of her blood dripped down her chin, blending with the blood already on her kimono.

Inuyasha… she whispered in her mind, feeling him hold her body tenderly in his lap. Oh, how much she had wanted him to hold her this way before---secretly, in her deepest dreams---but this was the end to those dreams. I'm sorry I didn't stay safe…please don't be mad at me…

"Kagome! Say something to me! Kagome!" she heard him scream her name over and over. It calmed her pain somewhat, but could never quench the anguish. She wanted to drift off now. She could almost see some 'light at the end of the tunnel' and she knew, it was no illusion. But no, she didn't want to go…she didn't want to forget those golden eyes.

Not now...

…Not ever.

It hurts, Inuyasha…

She only saw his torn face stare down at her, knowing he couldn't hear the words she was saying. No one could hear those words. No one could hear the words of a dying woman. She could suddenly feel the wet fluids rolling down her cheeks and she would have gasped in shock, if she could. She was crying. Why was she crying? She had said she would never cry. Crying was something she would have liked to do…but never did. So why was she crying now?

You're my weakness…

She felt a painful cough hack up more blood as it trickled from her lips, staining the ground red with the amount of blood she was losing. She felt a warm feeling in her hand and she wondered if it was Inuyasha's hand that was trying to keep her here. He was grabbing her hand so tight…but it was still so numb…and cold. She had to let go. The longer she held onto her pain, the longer her suffering would last.

But can you tell me why I don't want to go yet? Is it because I want to be able to say goodbye before I leave you? I don't want to leave you…

"Kagome…please…"

She grabbed his hand tighter when she felt a spasm of pain run through her body. It was growing so cold. The gold was disappearing. The black glaze was coming. She was dying. She was dying here. She was dying with Inuyasha by her side. Was she happy? Yes---she was dying, but with the one thing she had thought she would never need. She knew that was a lie now, and she would allow herself to admit so much in her last moments.

I need you…

He was disappearing…going so far away. The feeling of his hand in hers was fading as well. The pain was slowly subsiding.

She was dying.

"Please…" His voice was so distant...she could barely see his outline now, with only his eyes still connecting her stubbornly to the living world. She could feel the heavens grow angry at her, for not allowing death to gently sweep her eyes closed. She knew she had to let go of him some time, and fate would not grant her the chance to stay with him. It wasn't going to be a 'happily ever after'...because those didn't exist. He had never been her Prince Charming, but now, as the eternal sleep washed its magic over her, she realized he was not her prince, but her Inuyasha. In the end, he was her Inuyasha. Her imperfect, annoying, bloody insane Inuyasha. She would have smiled if her lips could move...because she found her dying thoughts strange. She would never carry his children...she would never grow old and batty with him...and she would never watch another sunset with him on the beach. And she knew, she would never dance with him again.

His golden eyes flashed red, and she felt her heart beat skip. Or was it her heart stopping? His eyes were going red…was this part of dying? Did things twist into a different reality? Where was the gold? She wanted to see the gold before she was gone. Gone from him.

"Inuyasha…" Was that her voice?

Her last words...?

It sounded pathetic.

"Kagome! Please...don't die..."

She felt her heartbeat lower as the heavy beating slowed to a dull throb while her labored breaths grew thin. She let go of his hand as her body grew limp, her eyes closing gently.

…Don't die…?

Forgive me.

*~*~*

He felt her hands go slack, the cold feeling turning icy. He clenched her hand harder, hoping that it would help, but he knew, deep down he knew, she was gone. He listened for her heart beat, but he found none. She was silent. She was gone.

He gently let go of her hand, moving his shaking hand to the tears on her face. He wiped them away with his thumb, feeling the moisture rub into his flesh. The rock in his throat increased when he saw her staring lifelessly up at him. He knew she couldn't see him although it seemed like she was, and he secretly damned the heavens for making dead people open their eyes after death.

He didn't want to brush his hand over her eyes. They were still that magnificent blue, but now they were dead. They were lifeless. They didn't hold any of the warmness that Kagome made possible. And her single word echoed like a ghost in his head.

Inuyasha…

She had whispered his name before she died. Did she blame him? If he had arrived one minute, just one minute earlier, she might have survived. If he hadn't arrived just when that wolf ran her through with the sword, she would have survived. Those bastards…they would pay. They would pay with their lives. They would pay for taking Kagome away.

He continued gazing down at her, her chest unmoving and her face pale. He wiped the blood from her chin too, feeling the substance nearly overwhelm him. He noticed, her body was so broken. Everything was broken in this room…the bastard had thrown her into them. But, she looked the most broken. And she wasn't a demon, she was a simple human. And because she was a simple human, she couldn't take the pain. Her blood soaked the ground and he felt tears come to his eyes, although they would not fall.

He had failed another woman. Again.

Inuyasha…

He wished she didn't blame him, although he blamed himself. He could imagine the torture she must have been through. And this morning…he had told her to come back to him. She had called him an idiot and now, her sweet voice echoed in his mind.



You're an idiot…

Yes he was…he was an idiot. He let her die.

So come back your idiotic self…okay? Come back in pieces and I'll never forgive you…

Why wasn't he the one dead? He had come back for her…but she didn't wait for him…did she forgive him…? Could he forgive himself…? He had wanted glory…he had wanted the grandeur of winning a battle…gaining fame…killing…and he never realized, that because of him, she was dead. If he had been smart enough to realize the wolves were not to be underestimated…she wouldn't have needed to go through the pain. It was his fault. All his fault.

Will you…Will you say my name again…?

Kagome. Kagome. Kagome. Kagome. Kagome. "God damnit…Kagome…" he whispered in a voice he barely recognized was his. It sounded so dead…so helpless. "I told you to keep safe…DAMNIT…I ordered you to keep safe! WHY DIDN'T YOU KEEP SAFE?! " He wanted to shake her, to scream at her, feel her slap him, anything---anything that told him she was alive.

Those bastards…they would pay…

COME BACK SAFE, YOU DUMB IDIOT!

"No…you're the dumb idiot, Kagome…" he murmured, forcing his hands to brush over her eyes, closing them. Forever…? The blue disappeared. He had kept his promise…he had come back…for her. Why didn't she keep hers…? Why didn't she wait for him...

He felt red. Crimson red rained down on his vision, staining her with a scarlet veneer. It pulsed in his blood as he watched her pale face, her limp hand, her motionless chest. He let her go, not once taking his eyes off her. She was dead…and they would pay. They would pay for killing her. They would all pay…they would all die…

He moved away, feeling his claws lengthen as his gaze flashed from gold to red, half his vision proper and half his vision deadly. It was happening, and he didn't want to stop it. For once, he didn't want to stop this. He would kill them…

I guess. I don't know who the last person I'd expect is though.

"It could have been me…" he hissed in a half feral growl, as he tore his eyes away from her when he went out the door, purple stripes appearing on the side of his face. "It could have been me…Kagome…"

He knew she wouldn't have wanted him to kill, but he had to. The blood taking over his body was too hard to ignore and that ceaseless pull on his chest that nearly pained him was overpowering. She was gone…and when she was gone, he finally understood what that girl meant to him. She had gotten under his skin, never relenting, and he knew, deep inside, that he had started caring for her. She was something precious. But now, he had failed her. He had allowed her to die.

He only consented to one thought before he knew it was too late to turn back.

Forgive me…Kagome…

And then it was all red.

A/N: I'm a horrible person. I love me. ^_^ Before any of you say "Well…he'll just wish her back alive with the Shikon no Tama." Well I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but no…He can't. And then you'll all go "Fluffy will revive her!" But then I'm sorry to burst THAT bubble too, but Sesshoumaru can't either. ^_^ It was my first attempt at angst... I hope I didn't disappoint.

For those who asked how I did on my finals...I did awesome. Much better on most of them than I expected. Thanks for your concern!


Whee...one year anniversary to my beloved ficcy.