Author's Note: Sorry about the delay. In addition to having my internet
down for a week, I am now helping out at my [not so] local elementary
school every weekday, and although the little kids are adorable, they
take all the energy out of me. I'm trying to work this all out, and
when school summer practices start, I'm wondering how to juggle all
these responsibilities.
Drama, people! Drama!
Disclaimer: If I owned Inuyasha…if, I would continue the same aggravating plot simply because I know it's aggravating for the readers…that's why I love it so. I imagine this story is just as aggravating though…or so I've been told.
Behind the Masquerade
If You Take Her Hand
"Inuyasha, can you please stop squirming?"
"But mother…"
"I know you've been sitting in that same seat for a long time, but I just need to make sure your hair is perfect for tonight…" Lady Komiya reasoned as she continued to run a brush through her son's hair, concentrating on the small tangles. How the boy kept his hair from becoming a lost cause was unbeknownst to her because it had taken her a long time to even be able to run her brush once along the length of his hair without hitting a knot. She supposed he hardly ever brushed it nowadays.
"It's already perfect…" Inuyasha tried to argue, but his mother didn't seem to listen. He frowned, annoyed that it felt like his mother was pulling his hair out at the beginning with all the tugging and wrenching about, although it had relaxed to occasional pulls. His hair already looked perfect, so why did it have to actually be perfect?
"Is it so wrong for me to want to brush my own son's hair?" Lady Komiya asked, and raised her eyebrow, although Inuyasha couldn't see in his position.
"No," Inuyasha agreed exasperatingly as he exhaled loudly, and slouched down in his chair in a defeated manner. He looked down at his clothing, feeling slightly strange in his wedding outfit. It was only a few hours to the actual wedding, and still, he was to be stuck in these clothes until it occurred. "But it still sucks. Everyone's dressing me up."
"It's your wedding, honey. People are suppose to dress you up."
"Please stop being the voice of reason, mother."
Lady Komiya laughed, her voice ringing like tiny bells and birds chirping. That only reminded Inuyasha of how he was supposed to be happy and joyful he was going to be married today. However, all he felt was an empty feeling…a big, fat empty feeling. Before he could stop himself, he sighed out of impulse.
Lady Komiya cocked her head to the side, looking at the side of her son's face. "Is something bothering you, Inuyasha?" she asked, brushing a stray strand of hair away so that she could see him properly.
"Nothing," Inuyasha instantly replied. He looked around, wondering whether he should tell his mother or not. Well…she was his mother. "I'm just…slightly nervous, and a bit scared," he admitted.
"Oh, dear…" Lady Komiya whispered, as she smiled warmly. "Everyone gets scared on their wedding day…it's tradition. I would worry if you weren't scared. But it'll all be over with, and you won't be scared or nervous any longer after tonight."
Inuyasha bit his lower lip and allowed his gaze to drop to the ground in front of him. His eyes softened from their hardened state, and he whispered, barely high enough so that his mother could catch, "But what if I'm making the wrong choice?"
"Inuyasha," his mother began, lowering herself to kneel to the side of her son, gently taking his hand and covering it over with hers. She waited till Inuyasha was looking at her, before saying, "You're never making the wrong choice if you take her hand. Actions convey a thousand feelings without the necessity of even speaking one word."
"But…what if love isn't one of those feelings?" Inuyasha continued, feeling lost even with his mother's hand in his.
"Then why are you marrying her?" Lady Komiya laughed. "I'm joking, Inuyasha. Love isn't so high and mighty in reality…but as I said a few days ago, you'll learn to love Kikyou, although it won't be the love you heard from the storytellers when you were young."
Inuyasha stayed quiet, his golden eyes void of any emotions as he thought over what his mother had told him time and time again. Learn to love…learn to love…did he really have to learn to love? Did he have to learn how to be happy…or learn how to be sad? No, all his emotions had come naturally…he had learned them, but in a natural way. It was spontaneous, and he thought love was supposed to be too…
He looked up, seeing his mother walking towards the door. "Mother?" he said, stopping her in her steps. She looked pack expectedly, a smile on her face. "Did you always love father?" Inuyasha waited for her answer.
A small, subtle smile appeared on her features, and in the hanyou's eyes, seemed to lift a few years off the woman's face. She practically beamed as she thought back to her childhood memories. "No, he annoyed me at first, but there had been chemistry between us. But soon, it became less of a chore to see him…I actually looked forward to it."
"And that love…it's still there?" Inuyasha asked.
"Always, darling!" Lady Komiya said as she brushed a strand of hair from her face. "But now our love has evolved into another form as well…"
"What?"
"You, of course. As long as you're happy, we are too. It makes me kind of sad…you're all grown up. You're even marrying today." Inuyasha watched as his mother's eyes grew slightly misty as she bit her lips, blinking her eyelids rapidly. "Every mother is happy to see her son on his wedding day, even if it feels like she's slowly losing him…"
"You'll never lose me, mother," Inuyasha answered firmly as he continued to look at his mother as she hastily wiped away the tears in her eyes.
"Of course not, Inuyasha…" Lady Komiya smiled almost in a bittersweet manner as she turned around and walked out of the door, closing it behind her and leaving Inuyasha wrapped in silence.
He looked at the place where his mother had been, as he felt his heart beat in his seemingly hollow chest. It seemed so outlandish that today was going to be his wedding day, and the fact that he was marrying someone he wasn't sure whether he'll learn to love or not only seemed to make it more uncertain. He had never wanted his wedding day to be like this…it had always been for love, even though he would never have admitted it before in his life.
His mind began to backtrack onto some memories he had just told himself a few days before not to recollect, but he couldn't help himself. The memory was just there. He still remembered the day as a child when he had been talking to Ikari in the garden…
---Flashback---
A girl giggled as she ran around the cherry tree, followed by a blindfolded boy. The boy had long, white hair and claws on his wandering hands, while fangs shone from his mouth as he left it open while trying to catch the girl. She had told him to try and not use his sense of smell to catch her, and rely on his hearing. It would usually have been a piece of cake, but he enjoyed these peaceful moments with her, so he tried to hold back on pinpointing her exact position. Her laughter was enough to calm his soul.
"Inu, you're so slow!" she cried, laughing even more. "Are you holding back on me? Or do you really need to take ten minutes to catch a single girl?"
Perhaps she shouldn't have said that, because although he enjoyed spending time with her, he also had a pride that never backed down from a challenge. In less than three seconds, he had leapt at her and sent them both tumbling in a screaming heap along the ground. Ripping off his blindfold, his lips formed a grin as he announced triumphantly, "Gotcha!"
"Hey! I told you no leaping at me!" she cried as she pushed him off her and brushed away the dirt stuck on her plain kimono. Her grey eyes twinkled merrily as she brought her knees up to her chest, putting her chin on her knees and smiling mysteriously at the hanyou sitting with his legs crossed in front of her. "But I forgive you."
"Well, you tempted me, Ikari!" the younger Inuyasha cried as his ears tweaked towards her, his golden eyes full of innocence as he gazed at the girl in front of him. She always made him feel special…
She laughed at his answer, and caused Inuyasha to frown slightly and twitch his nose. Ikari blinked her large grey eyes in amusement. "You're so cute!" she commented out of the blue, continuing to smile at him.
Inuyasha instantly blushed three different shades of red as he tried to make up excuses in his mind for that comment. This only caused further restlessness as he blurted out, "Well you're really pretty yourself!"
Ikari stopped laughing at the hanyou, and looked at him with bewildered eyes. "Really?" she asked hesitantly, before beaming. "Thank you, but you really shouldn't say such things to me."
"Why not?" younger Inuyasha instantly demanded, irritated that the girl had just tried to deny his compliment. He didn't always flatter people after all.
"Well, you only call a girl you care about pretty…" she whispered, unwrapping her arms from her knees as she sat up straighter, and looked at him in a sensible manner.
"What if I care about you then!?" he blurted out hastily before he could stop himself. This only caused his three different shades of red to turn almost crimson as he averted his eyes to gaze at some flowers growing nearby. He had not just admitted he cared about Ikari.
The girl was quiet for a while, and Inuyasha resisted looking at her. Was she disgusted? He really wanted to know, but looking at her would only get him further embarrassed. He couldn't believe he had just admitted something like that.
"Inu…?"
He had to resist…he would not look. But wait, when had her voice gotten so close? He turned his head out of impulse and instantly met with her questioning grey eyes. The only thing he could do out of the immense surprise was to draw in a breath and hold. Talking at such an intimate distance felt forbidden.
"You shouldn't say that to someone like me. I'm just a normal girl," she whispered. The younger Inuyasha could feel her breath on his lips. It caused him to gulp unceremoniously. She continued, "You're a prince, Inuyasha. I'm just a peasant working at the castle…sooner or later, I'll be gone."
"But…" he began, almost begging as he looked into her eyes. "I don't want you to go…"
"I have my reasons when I leave…no one will ever know them. Everyone has their secrets. You do too…when you find that one girl you can't live without, then that is the time you'll tell her you care and that you don't want her to go…"
He grabbed her hands, pleading silently. "What if I can't live without you…? Would you stay then…?"
She giggled, tightening her grip on his hand as she leaned to the side and brushed her lips against his cheeks. This only made the blush appear again as he trailed his free hand to the spot she had kissed, his eyes wide as he stared at her smiling at him in the same way she always did.
"Silly Inu, you can live without me. You just have to wait for the girl you want to be with you forever...and I'll just be a memory."
---End---
She had been right. He had lived on without her, even after she had left as she had hinted. That had been the only time she had even suggested that she was going to leave the Komiya kingdom, and although he didn't quite understand why she would before---and still he couldn't---he had come to his senses and accepted that she had been right, and that she had her reasons. He would never know them, and neither would anyone else, but only Ikari herself. Perhaps she was dead, or maybe she had found another man to live with, but she had been right all along because slowly, she had only become a memory…
And now? What now? Was he making the right choice? Was Kikyou the girl he wanted to be with forever…or had Ikari only been stressing that fairy tale love his mother told him about…?
Was this all a sense of duty to the people around him? Was this a duty to Kikyou as her future husband…? Or a duty to his mother because he was her son? Was this a duty to the kingdom because they trusted him?
But if so, where was the duty to himself?
Or the duty to Kagome…
He had to tell her one day after all…
---
She felt so lonely, even if everyone was running around getting last minute decorations and things in place. The guests were even starting to arrive, and there was still one hour left till the actual wedding. She had dressed up, planned to watch from the side, and then go on with her plan…but for now, she felt so cold.
"Kagome?"
She looked up when she heard her name and saw Sango towering over her from where she sat in her room. When had she come in? "Yes?"
"Go."
Kagome looked up bewildered at Sango, and for a moment, she forgot that her best friend didn't know about the plan. "It's not time yet."
It was Sango's turn to looked confused. "There's a time to go see Inuyasha before he gets married?" Sango seemed to disregard Kagome's previous statement and smiled. "You look so sad, maybe you should just get it over with."
"I will," Kagome answered, although it was referring to her plan. She would finish it.
"Then go talk to him."
"I don't want to."
"Kagome…"
"Sango," Kagome started, as she gazed up at her cousin. "He can probably hear everything you and I are saying…"
Sango glanced up at the adjoining door and frowned. "He can? Then listen to me, Inuyasha. Take Kikyou's hand and you'll learn what the biggest mistake of your life is."
"Sango! No!" Kagome cried as she jumped up and tried to make her cousin stop talking. "It wasn't like he had a choice, and Kikyou and he will be perfect together. There's nothing wrong with that arrangement!"
Sango gave Kagome the first icy glance she had given her best friend in a while. "What about you then?" she demanded, her eyes boring into Kagome's. "Both of you are so stubborn and blind, it's starting to aggravate me. One hour, Kagome, there's just one hour left. Get it over with…talk." She pointed a finger at the door. "This has been going on for so long, I want you both to have a heart to heart talk, and figure everything out."
Kagome was staggered by her cousin's honesty and command, especially with Inuyasha right in the next room, but she understood how frustrated Sango must be as a spectator. She was right…this had been going on for too long, and it was just like her to finish everything last minute. She might as well say goodbye now.
Shuffling over to the linked doors, Kagome knocked, before hearing a grunt as a reply. She threw one calm look back at her cousin, who only urged her on with hand motions. Kagome sighed, before opening the door and walking over, closing the door behind her. She looked down at the ground, slightly afraid of gazing up at Inuyasha. There were so many conflicting emotions right now…
There was a moment of silence that passed before the tension got too much for her and she whispered, "Hi Inuyasha…"
The hanyou seemed reluctant to answer, as it showed in his voice, "Hey…"
Kagome eventually forced herself to look up, and was even amazed herself at just how… "You look handsome," she offered, smiling gently.
He looked down at himself, before scratching his head shyly. "Thanks. You look pretty yourself."
Kagome watched as something like recollection passed his face, although she really couldn't figure out why. "Why the shocked face?" she asked, purely out of curiosity and the fact that she was finding it hard to talk to him.
He gazed up at her slowly, and caught her gaze almost entrancingly, before replying, "Our conversation just reminded me of memories." He took one step towards her, and Kagome felt herself freeze up.
"What kind?" she continued, her mouth almost working mechanically. Here she was, talking to the one man she had ever admitted to having truly loved, and he was going to be married off in an hour…
"Of a memory fading because I realize she was right." He took a few more steps towards her, himself feeling like everything occurring was simply a dream. It was getting all so hazy at such a distance…
"Who?" Kagome simply continued as she felt it impossible to break their eye contact. Sango had been so evil…did she know her best friend would fall into such a trap?
"Ikari."
Kagome felt her breath catch. She still felt uneasy every time she heard that name…perhaps it was the knowledge that the girl once had Inuyasha? She wasn't sure. "That's nice…" she whispered, her eyes softening as Inuyasha stopped in front of her, gazing down at her calmly.
"But she's just a childhood crush…she taught me how to feel, you know." He smirked so slightly that it could have been mistaken for a smile. "But there's someone else who built upon that feeling."
Kagome's eyes softened. "Who?" she dared to ask.
"You should know who."
She felt something inside her grow…almost something pertaining to hope. She was startled at the desire growing inside of her. Did she really want to hear him tell her how he felt for her so badly? Was she this pathetic for a man? "No, I don't."
"Then you don't," he retorted, sighing slightly. Why couldn't the girl pick up the clues? He was trying so hard to suggest that he felt something for her, and that he didn't want to deny it any longer…so was she just oblivious or avoiding the subject? Perhaps he should just change the issue. "You know what? I'm losing everything I have today…it's pretty frightening."
"But you're gaining a whole lot more with Kikyou." Kagome gazed past him and looked out at the night sky. Hadn't she met Inuyasha at the masquerade on a night like this? Her eyes trailed to him, and she smiled. He didn't know.
"But I think…I might just lose the one thing I can't live without." Something flashed in his eyes, although Kagome couldn't quite catch it.
"You can live without everything you have right now and still be happy. But why throw away everything when it's right in front of you?" Kagome offered what she presumed was a comforting smile as she exhaled in an almost tired manner.
"You're right. Everything is right in front of me. It's all right here." That was the closest comment so far that referred to his feelings for her. But she only smiled, ignorant to the hints being dropped. It was absolutely frustrating.
"Can I ask you something, Kagome?" The girl stayed quiet, and the hanyou took it as an okay sign. He supposed he had to know…after all, what did he have to lose? It was the only thing he had to know now… "What if I told you I care about you?" he breathed almost hoarsely. "What would you say?"
"Inuyasha…" she began, feeling like she was going to faint at the sheer question as she felt herself close her eyes. She hadn't expected him to confess so suddenly…they had jumped from subject to subject, trying to avoid this exact question he had just proposed to her. "Don't say that...you're marrying my sister…" She knew it had been wrong to try and talk to him.
"What if I'm not going to?" he asked, sincerity and determination so prominent in his voice that even Kagome had to open her eyes. It took her all her willpower and drive to push the hanyou away, and when he let her go, she found herself missing the heat he gave her. She berated herself mentally.
"You will," she answered in a calm voice, which was the exact opposite of how she felt inside. "She cares about you so much. You have to marry her…I'll be going away after this…just please marry Kikyou."
"Why?" he all but almost whined as his eyebrows came down in uncertainty. "Why would you want to leave?"
She looked away, feeling crowded even though it was only Inuyasha in the room. "I have my reasons," she answered furtively, her hands forming fists in frustration. He was trapping her again, wasn't he? "I don't belong here."
"You do. You belong here…" Inuyasha fisted his own hands as he tried to tell this stubborn girl just what his duty to her was…and what he should have said at the very beginning. "You belong here…with me."
Kagome brought her hand over her heart, feeling like it had almost been stabbed painfully by his words. She bit her lower lips, and her eyes grew hazy, as she turned around and walked towards his door, not being able to handle the pressure in the room. "It's too late for that. I have to leave," she whispered and was only a few more steps from the door before a blob appeared right in front of her. She stepped back in surprise and saw that it was Inuyasha blocking the doorway.
"Inuyasha…"
He looked desperate now as he blurted out, "What would make you stay? I've confessed…I'm even offering to not marry Kikyou and go against my mother's wishes…for you. Isn't that enough?"
Kagome could feel herself suppress a sniff as she whispered, "No." Her eyes trailed the length of the ground in front of her, before stopping at his feet. "If only it had been different..." she mumbled, almost to herself.
There was another moment of silence as the giggles and chattering of guests drifted up from the grounds to reach both their ears. If they knew what kind of scandals were occurring, they wouldn't be laughing in such a carefree manner…
"Kagome…" Inuyasha waited a few moments before the girl finally summoned the courage to catch his eyes. He knew it was always better to let her see just how much he meant it through his eyes. "What…what if I told you I love you?" He was sacrificing it all now…
Kagome felt a single tear drip solitarily down her cheek, creating a trail of salt. Her heartbeat was becoming even more unbearable as she felt the pain intensify in her chest. He had just confessed that he loved her…hadn't she always wished to hear those words come from his mouth?
But it was too late…everything was too late. No matter how many times he told her now, she wouldn't relent to words alone. She was doing this for him and everyone else…it wouldn't matter what happened to her. He deserved to be happy, and Kikyou could offer him more joy than she ever could…she was only doing this for him in the end. She looked at him determinedly, forcing her voice to remain collected.
"I don't."
She could see the mixture of emotions pass his face at her words: pain, despair, anguish, betrayal… It was all there.
"You're lying," he demanded with a somber face although his voice wavered with uncertainty. He looked like something akin to a lost puppy.
She continued to gaze calmly at him, pushing him gently out of her way as she answered with finality while walking out into the corridor, "I'm not."
---
She had been walking around aimlessly for a while, just pondering on what she had just told Inuyasha. It had been her chance, and she could have easily told him she felt the same way…but she couldn't. It had been an intense conversation in her opinion…everything had come out into the open, except for a few things such as her obligation to her hosts.
Snippets of conversations were being heard once in a while, drifting from the ball room. That was where the wedding was going to take place in less than ten minutes, and Kagome felt sick at the thought of even wandering near it. The whole castle was already decorated elaborately with the most beautiful adornments and walking around in them was like basking in the wedding glory. She didn't like it.
Suddenly, she felt a wave of calling coming from one of the rooms, and froze in her spot. She just knew it had something to do with Naraku…she had been waiting after all. The feeling disappeared, but she sighed as she walked towards the room and pushed the door open.
The room was dark, and looked to be a spare bedroom. Why hadn't she gotten this room instead of the room next to Inuyasha? Kagome's eyes trailed over the furniture, or lack there of, in the room before stopping her eyes at the opened window and its balcony. "Hello Kagura," she calmly greeted when she saw the wind youkai eyeing her coolly.
"Good evening," Kagura answered back with the same tone of voice, before continuing, strictly on business terms. "Naraku is waiting at the cliffs. Do you have the jewel?" The demon's eyes were void of any betraying emotions, as she raised an interested eyebrow.
"No…I'll go get it now." Kagome turned to walk out of the room, feeling Kagura's eyes on her at all times.
"Naraku will be waiting and watching for you then," Kagura said, slightly accentuating the word 'watching.'
Kagome didn't really get why she would, and when she turned around to glance at the wind youkai, Kagura simply continued to gaze at her with a slight smirk on her face. Kagome blinked her eyes slightly, before realization slowly surfaced. Naraku was going to be watching her every move…
Kagome felt herself shudder at the mere thought. She had to play her part faithfully until the time came for her to execute Naraku's death. That was, only if everything went according to plan.
Exiting the room, Kagome hurried to the library, the route there already having been second nature to her. Surprisingly, she actually knew her way around the castle and she had only been staying there for a month. Would she ever have a second chance to fix things again? At least in this lifetime?
She sighed as she rushed through the corridors in the dark, guided simply by the lights from the candles. It was so desolate here, and if she hadn't been sure that all of this hadn't been a nightmare, she would have thought that she was dreaming of running down endless corridors. Usually, the castle gave off such a warm aura, but at that instant, all she felt from it was rejection.
Kagome came to the library and walked in, taking the key from around her neck mechanically. Everything was going smoothly so far. The wedding had been the perfect distraction, so Naraku must have wanted the theft to occur tonight without any problems. She climbed up the ladder and put the key in the hole instinctively, gazing at the shelf of books moving to the side. That still seemed slightly spooky.
She clambered down the ladder and shuffled over to the room, entering with her eyes wide as the jewel twinkled merrily in the darkness. The aura was ethereal, almost as if it came from another existence and had just accidentally ended up here. She stepped up to it, her hands coming out to take it.
Was she ready to betray everyone, but protect them at the same time? She had tried before, but people had stopped her. A small part of her wished someone would stop her again this time, but she knew that this was the ultimate decision. Was she ready to throw away everything for the people of this castle…?
Inuyasha?
He had volunteered to sacrifice everything for her…
And he had told her he loves her…
Snatching the jewel from its place, Kagome bit her lips and turned on her heels, running out of the library, and leaving the secret room wide open unconsciously. It had all been too easy that she was sure guilt was eating her from inside out. How would everyone act when they found that their treasure had been stolen and that she had given it to one of their enemies?
Changing courses to go downstairs to the ball, it took her a few minutes to reach the entrance. All the last minute people were filing in rapidly, and people were squirming in their seats due to the tension. Higurashi Kikyou and Komiya Inuyasha were getting married…it wasn't everyday the other kingdoms saw a union between a human and a half demon, and it was amusing to say the least.
Kagome gazed at decorations trailing the walls and the seats and felt her heart give a little leap. She would never see her own wedding, and to gaze upon her sister's wedding with the man she loved…it was slightly bittersweet.
A small smile appeared on Kagome's lips as she turned away from the sight and ran back up the stairs to go to the room Kagura would be waiting at. If anything, she would rather have everyone hate her than have them dead because of her. It was always one sacrifice for another…
After a few minutes, she miraculously stumbled into it and saw Kagura on her feather, ready to fly off to Naraku. Kagome stopped as that small nagging part of her kept pressing on deep inside.
Kagura extended her hand out for the younger girl.
Kagome bit her lip. If she took her hand, there would be no turning back. There would be no one to change her mind anymore. It was just her and her own decisions battling it out…and the irrational side was winning.
"Going?" Kagura asked, slightly impatient.
Kagome took in a deep breath, and walked forward, taking Kagura's hand.
"Gone."
---
It felt strange in the traditional wedding kimono, and although he knew these weddings weren't supposed to have many people at the ceremony, but rather at the ball after, he was sure his parents had invited enough people to fill up the entire ballroom. It was just a necessity since he was of royal blood…
He could hear the chatter of people just beyond those doors, and Kikyou was right there, next to him…waiting to walk up with him to the priest. His heart felt like it was going to collapse at any moment. He had fought demons a hundred times bigger than him and didn't even flinch, but to walk up to the priest with Kikyou next to him…that was a terror bigger than life itself.
"Ready?" she whispered from his side, and Inuyasha stayed quiet for a few moments.
What was there to be ready for?
"Whatever," he muttered back and they both started walking into the ball room. Inuyasha's insides froze when everyone in there went quiet, but perhaps it was more startling how many people were actually present. It was mind-boggling.
What have I got myself into…
---
Kagome felt like she had been flying on the feather for a while. She could feel the cold bite at her skin through the material of her kimono due to the height and speed they were traveling. Kagome was sure it was going to rain soon because she could already feel a tiny drop fall on her face.
What was Inuyasha and Kikyou doing right now? Were they finished with the commitment vows? Were they joined together now? Where was the cheering? Maybe she couldn't hear it from where she was going.
She held on tighter to Kagura simply because the height was terrifying for one, and she felt like she was going to start crying at any moment. She was sure Kikyou would stop Inuyasha no matter what the hanyou told her because Kagome had asked her sister to keep him preoccupied.
"Why throw away everything?" Kagura suddenly asked, and Kagome let go slightly as the words repeated themselves in her head. Kagura continued, "It's just a boy. You're only doing this for him…why?"
The cliffs were appearing through the darkness now, and Kagome felt herself anticipate and dread the meeting with Naraku all at once. He was there---she could see and sense him---wrapped in darkness, waiting for her to hand his prize over.
The flying feather spiraled down to land gracefully on the top, and Kagome felt a strange sense of déjà vu. She remembered the last time she was here…only this time, there would be no Inuyasha coming to save her.
Kagome sighed as she turned to gaze at Kagura with a smile on her face, whispering gently "Because I love him too."
---
"Now that you both have been purified and have drank your sake, the groom must read the words of commitment and tie the union. Komiya Inuyasha, may you?" the priest asked and motioned for Inuyasha to talk to Kikyou.
The hanyou snapped out of the trance he had worked himself into because he had seemed to sense Kagome drifting further away, and gazed up at the priest, before turning to Kikyou slowly. Although he himself had never fancied how much make-up a woman had to wear, he had to admit Kikyou looked nice in her attire. The sleeves of her kimono trailed down to her ankle, indicating that she was a young, unmarried woman, and Inuyasha tried to remind himself that many men would have wanted to marry Kikyou…
"Kikyou, although we have hardly known each other for a long time, you have given me great happiness, love, confidence, understanding, and joy. I only hope in my life to reciprocate these qualities."
That was utter bullshit, and he knew he was only saying what was necessary. Taking a glance around at everyone, he felt his heart clench. They all looked so memorized and Kikyou's parents and his looked completely overjoyed, and even close to tears. It felt so much like peer pressure, and Inuyasha took in a deep breath as he gazed back to Kikyou, who was looking at him with a small smile.
"So, today, in front of everybody here, I would like to recite my vow to you which I will solemnly adhere to for the duration of our long walk in life together."
This was it. He was going to recite it, and there would be no turning back. After Kikyou said her piece, they would be husband and wife…for the rest of their life. Somehow, that just seemed unreal.
He closed his eyes for a moment, knowing that to everyone, it would look like he was just nervous. Perhaps he was, but it was for a completely different reason. The one girl he had ever admitted to loving had just told him she didn't love him back…what could be more painful? It almost hurt as much as seeing her die.
And now…he was going to marry her sister?
"I vow to honor and cherish the very essence of you in both my actions and thoughts for the rest of my life."
He had vowed.
A/N: [continues to nail in planks of wood in every window and opening of her home] I swear that if any of you organize an assassination party, you won't be able to see the ending of this story. I swear, darn it, don't kill me yet!
P.S. Vote for me in the last round of Elimination Nomination. It ends on June 26th. You never know how much faster I'll write if I actually win. I appreciate the support I've been getting so far. The link is on my profile as always.
Now, just please, don't kill me yet. You can when the story ends if you feel like it. [smile]
Drama, people! Drama!
Disclaimer: If I owned Inuyasha…if, I would continue the same aggravating plot simply because I know it's aggravating for the readers…that's why I love it so. I imagine this story is just as aggravating though…or so I've been told.
Behind the Masquerade
If You Take Her Hand
"Inuyasha, can you please stop squirming?"
"But mother…"
"I know you've been sitting in that same seat for a long time, but I just need to make sure your hair is perfect for tonight…" Lady Komiya reasoned as she continued to run a brush through her son's hair, concentrating on the small tangles. How the boy kept his hair from becoming a lost cause was unbeknownst to her because it had taken her a long time to even be able to run her brush once along the length of his hair without hitting a knot. She supposed he hardly ever brushed it nowadays.
"It's already perfect…" Inuyasha tried to argue, but his mother didn't seem to listen. He frowned, annoyed that it felt like his mother was pulling his hair out at the beginning with all the tugging and wrenching about, although it had relaxed to occasional pulls. His hair already looked perfect, so why did it have to actually be perfect?
"Is it so wrong for me to want to brush my own son's hair?" Lady Komiya asked, and raised her eyebrow, although Inuyasha couldn't see in his position.
"No," Inuyasha agreed exasperatingly as he exhaled loudly, and slouched down in his chair in a defeated manner. He looked down at his clothing, feeling slightly strange in his wedding outfit. It was only a few hours to the actual wedding, and still, he was to be stuck in these clothes until it occurred. "But it still sucks. Everyone's dressing me up."
"It's your wedding, honey. People are suppose to dress you up."
"Please stop being the voice of reason, mother."
Lady Komiya laughed, her voice ringing like tiny bells and birds chirping. That only reminded Inuyasha of how he was supposed to be happy and joyful he was going to be married today. However, all he felt was an empty feeling…a big, fat empty feeling. Before he could stop himself, he sighed out of impulse.
Lady Komiya cocked her head to the side, looking at the side of her son's face. "Is something bothering you, Inuyasha?" she asked, brushing a stray strand of hair away so that she could see him properly.
"Nothing," Inuyasha instantly replied. He looked around, wondering whether he should tell his mother or not. Well…she was his mother. "I'm just…slightly nervous, and a bit scared," he admitted.
"Oh, dear…" Lady Komiya whispered, as she smiled warmly. "Everyone gets scared on their wedding day…it's tradition. I would worry if you weren't scared. But it'll all be over with, and you won't be scared or nervous any longer after tonight."
Inuyasha bit his lower lip and allowed his gaze to drop to the ground in front of him. His eyes softened from their hardened state, and he whispered, barely high enough so that his mother could catch, "But what if I'm making the wrong choice?"
"Inuyasha," his mother began, lowering herself to kneel to the side of her son, gently taking his hand and covering it over with hers. She waited till Inuyasha was looking at her, before saying, "You're never making the wrong choice if you take her hand. Actions convey a thousand feelings without the necessity of even speaking one word."
"But…what if love isn't one of those feelings?" Inuyasha continued, feeling lost even with his mother's hand in his.
"Then why are you marrying her?" Lady Komiya laughed. "I'm joking, Inuyasha. Love isn't so high and mighty in reality…but as I said a few days ago, you'll learn to love Kikyou, although it won't be the love you heard from the storytellers when you were young."
Inuyasha stayed quiet, his golden eyes void of any emotions as he thought over what his mother had told him time and time again. Learn to love…learn to love…did he really have to learn to love? Did he have to learn how to be happy…or learn how to be sad? No, all his emotions had come naturally…he had learned them, but in a natural way. It was spontaneous, and he thought love was supposed to be too…
He looked up, seeing his mother walking towards the door. "Mother?" he said, stopping her in her steps. She looked pack expectedly, a smile on her face. "Did you always love father?" Inuyasha waited for her answer.
A small, subtle smile appeared on her features, and in the hanyou's eyes, seemed to lift a few years off the woman's face. She practically beamed as she thought back to her childhood memories. "No, he annoyed me at first, but there had been chemistry between us. But soon, it became less of a chore to see him…I actually looked forward to it."
"And that love…it's still there?" Inuyasha asked.
"Always, darling!" Lady Komiya said as she brushed a strand of hair from her face. "But now our love has evolved into another form as well…"
"What?"
"You, of course. As long as you're happy, we are too. It makes me kind of sad…you're all grown up. You're even marrying today." Inuyasha watched as his mother's eyes grew slightly misty as she bit her lips, blinking her eyelids rapidly. "Every mother is happy to see her son on his wedding day, even if it feels like she's slowly losing him…"
"You'll never lose me, mother," Inuyasha answered firmly as he continued to look at his mother as she hastily wiped away the tears in her eyes.
"Of course not, Inuyasha…" Lady Komiya smiled almost in a bittersweet manner as she turned around and walked out of the door, closing it behind her and leaving Inuyasha wrapped in silence.
He looked at the place where his mother had been, as he felt his heart beat in his seemingly hollow chest. It seemed so outlandish that today was going to be his wedding day, and the fact that he was marrying someone he wasn't sure whether he'll learn to love or not only seemed to make it more uncertain. He had never wanted his wedding day to be like this…it had always been for love, even though he would never have admitted it before in his life.
His mind began to backtrack onto some memories he had just told himself a few days before not to recollect, but he couldn't help himself. The memory was just there. He still remembered the day as a child when he had been talking to Ikari in the garden…
---Flashback---
A girl giggled as she ran around the cherry tree, followed by a blindfolded boy. The boy had long, white hair and claws on his wandering hands, while fangs shone from his mouth as he left it open while trying to catch the girl. She had told him to try and not use his sense of smell to catch her, and rely on his hearing. It would usually have been a piece of cake, but he enjoyed these peaceful moments with her, so he tried to hold back on pinpointing her exact position. Her laughter was enough to calm his soul.
"Inu, you're so slow!" she cried, laughing even more. "Are you holding back on me? Or do you really need to take ten minutes to catch a single girl?"
Perhaps she shouldn't have said that, because although he enjoyed spending time with her, he also had a pride that never backed down from a challenge. In less than three seconds, he had leapt at her and sent them both tumbling in a screaming heap along the ground. Ripping off his blindfold, his lips formed a grin as he announced triumphantly, "Gotcha!"
"Hey! I told you no leaping at me!" she cried as she pushed him off her and brushed away the dirt stuck on her plain kimono. Her grey eyes twinkled merrily as she brought her knees up to her chest, putting her chin on her knees and smiling mysteriously at the hanyou sitting with his legs crossed in front of her. "But I forgive you."
"Well, you tempted me, Ikari!" the younger Inuyasha cried as his ears tweaked towards her, his golden eyes full of innocence as he gazed at the girl in front of him. She always made him feel special…
She laughed at his answer, and caused Inuyasha to frown slightly and twitch his nose. Ikari blinked her large grey eyes in amusement. "You're so cute!" she commented out of the blue, continuing to smile at him.
Inuyasha instantly blushed three different shades of red as he tried to make up excuses in his mind for that comment. This only caused further restlessness as he blurted out, "Well you're really pretty yourself!"
Ikari stopped laughing at the hanyou, and looked at him with bewildered eyes. "Really?" she asked hesitantly, before beaming. "Thank you, but you really shouldn't say such things to me."
"Why not?" younger Inuyasha instantly demanded, irritated that the girl had just tried to deny his compliment. He didn't always flatter people after all.
"Well, you only call a girl you care about pretty…" she whispered, unwrapping her arms from her knees as she sat up straighter, and looked at him in a sensible manner.
"What if I care about you then!?" he blurted out hastily before he could stop himself. This only caused his three different shades of red to turn almost crimson as he averted his eyes to gaze at some flowers growing nearby. He had not just admitted he cared about Ikari.
The girl was quiet for a while, and Inuyasha resisted looking at her. Was she disgusted? He really wanted to know, but looking at her would only get him further embarrassed. He couldn't believe he had just admitted something like that.
"Inu…?"
He had to resist…he would not look. But wait, when had her voice gotten so close? He turned his head out of impulse and instantly met with her questioning grey eyes. The only thing he could do out of the immense surprise was to draw in a breath and hold. Talking at such an intimate distance felt forbidden.
"You shouldn't say that to someone like me. I'm just a normal girl," she whispered. The younger Inuyasha could feel her breath on his lips. It caused him to gulp unceremoniously. She continued, "You're a prince, Inuyasha. I'm just a peasant working at the castle…sooner or later, I'll be gone."
"But…" he began, almost begging as he looked into her eyes. "I don't want you to go…"
"I have my reasons when I leave…no one will ever know them. Everyone has their secrets. You do too…when you find that one girl you can't live without, then that is the time you'll tell her you care and that you don't want her to go…"
He grabbed her hands, pleading silently. "What if I can't live without you…? Would you stay then…?"
She giggled, tightening her grip on his hand as she leaned to the side and brushed her lips against his cheeks. This only made the blush appear again as he trailed his free hand to the spot she had kissed, his eyes wide as he stared at her smiling at him in the same way she always did.
"Silly Inu, you can live without me. You just have to wait for the girl you want to be with you forever...and I'll just be a memory."
---End---
She had been right. He had lived on without her, even after she had left as she had hinted. That had been the only time she had even suggested that she was going to leave the Komiya kingdom, and although he didn't quite understand why she would before---and still he couldn't---he had come to his senses and accepted that she had been right, and that she had her reasons. He would never know them, and neither would anyone else, but only Ikari herself. Perhaps she was dead, or maybe she had found another man to live with, but she had been right all along because slowly, she had only become a memory…
And now? What now? Was he making the right choice? Was Kikyou the girl he wanted to be with forever…or had Ikari only been stressing that fairy tale love his mother told him about…?
Was this all a sense of duty to the people around him? Was this a duty to Kikyou as her future husband…? Or a duty to his mother because he was her son? Was this a duty to the kingdom because they trusted him?
But if so, where was the duty to himself?
Or the duty to Kagome…
He had to tell her one day after all…
---
She felt so lonely, even if everyone was running around getting last minute decorations and things in place. The guests were even starting to arrive, and there was still one hour left till the actual wedding. She had dressed up, planned to watch from the side, and then go on with her plan…but for now, she felt so cold.
"Kagome?"
She looked up when she heard her name and saw Sango towering over her from where she sat in her room. When had she come in? "Yes?"
"Go."
Kagome looked up bewildered at Sango, and for a moment, she forgot that her best friend didn't know about the plan. "It's not time yet."
It was Sango's turn to looked confused. "There's a time to go see Inuyasha before he gets married?" Sango seemed to disregard Kagome's previous statement and smiled. "You look so sad, maybe you should just get it over with."
"I will," Kagome answered, although it was referring to her plan. She would finish it.
"Then go talk to him."
"I don't want to."
"Kagome…"
"Sango," Kagome started, as she gazed up at her cousin. "He can probably hear everything you and I are saying…"
Sango glanced up at the adjoining door and frowned. "He can? Then listen to me, Inuyasha. Take Kikyou's hand and you'll learn what the biggest mistake of your life is."
"Sango! No!" Kagome cried as she jumped up and tried to make her cousin stop talking. "It wasn't like he had a choice, and Kikyou and he will be perfect together. There's nothing wrong with that arrangement!"
Sango gave Kagome the first icy glance she had given her best friend in a while. "What about you then?" she demanded, her eyes boring into Kagome's. "Both of you are so stubborn and blind, it's starting to aggravate me. One hour, Kagome, there's just one hour left. Get it over with…talk." She pointed a finger at the door. "This has been going on for so long, I want you both to have a heart to heart talk, and figure everything out."
Kagome was staggered by her cousin's honesty and command, especially with Inuyasha right in the next room, but she understood how frustrated Sango must be as a spectator. She was right…this had been going on for too long, and it was just like her to finish everything last minute. She might as well say goodbye now.
Shuffling over to the linked doors, Kagome knocked, before hearing a grunt as a reply. She threw one calm look back at her cousin, who only urged her on with hand motions. Kagome sighed, before opening the door and walking over, closing the door behind her. She looked down at the ground, slightly afraid of gazing up at Inuyasha. There were so many conflicting emotions right now…
There was a moment of silence that passed before the tension got too much for her and she whispered, "Hi Inuyasha…"
The hanyou seemed reluctant to answer, as it showed in his voice, "Hey…"
Kagome eventually forced herself to look up, and was even amazed herself at just how… "You look handsome," she offered, smiling gently.
He looked down at himself, before scratching his head shyly. "Thanks. You look pretty yourself."
Kagome watched as something like recollection passed his face, although she really couldn't figure out why. "Why the shocked face?" she asked, purely out of curiosity and the fact that she was finding it hard to talk to him.
He gazed up at her slowly, and caught her gaze almost entrancingly, before replying, "Our conversation just reminded me of memories." He took one step towards her, and Kagome felt herself freeze up.
"What kind?" she continued, her mouth almost working mechanically. Here she was, talking to the one man she had ever admitted to having truly loved, and he was going to be married off in an hour…
"Of a memory fading because I realize she was right." He took a few more steps towards her, himself feeling like everything occurring was simply a dream. It was getting all so hazy at such a distance…
"Who?" Kagome simply continued as she felt it impossible to break their eye contact. Sango had been so evil…did she know her best friend would fall into such a trap?
"Ikari."
Kagome felt her breath catch. She still felt uneasy every time she heard that name…perhaps it was the knowledge that the girl once had Inuyasha? She wasn't sure. "That's nice…" she whispered, her eyes softening as Inuyasha stopped in front of her, gazing down at her calmly.
"But she's just a childhood crush…she taught me how to feel, you know." He smirked so slightly that it could have been mistaken for a smile. "But there's someone else who built upon that feeling."
Kagome's eyes softened. "Who?" she dared to ask.
"You should know who."
She felt something inside her grow…almost something pertaining to hope. She was startled at the desire growing inside of her. Did she really want to hear him tell her how he felt for her so badly? Was she this pathetic for a man? "No, I don't."
"Then you don't," he retorted, sighing slightly. Why couldn't the girl pick up the clues? He was trying so hard to suggest that he felt something for her, and that he didn't want to deny it any longer…so was she just oblivious or avoiding the subject? Perhaps he should just change the issue. "You know what? I'm losing everything I have today…it's pretty frightening."
"But you're gaining a whole lot more with Kikyou." Kagome gazed past him and looked out at the night sky. Hadn't she met Inuyasha at the masquerade on a night like this? Her eyes trailed to him, and she smiled. He didn't know.
"But I think…I might just lose the one thing I can't live without." Something flashed in his eyes, although Kagome couldn't quite catch it.
"You can live without everything you have right now and still be happy. But why throw away everything when it's right in front of you?" Kagome offered what she presumed was a comforting smile as she exhaled in an almost tired manner.
"You're right. Everything is right in front of me. It's all right here." That was the closest comment so far that referred to his feelings for her. But she only smiled, ignorant to the hints being dropped. It was absolutely frustrating.
"Can I ask you something, Kagome?" The girl stayed quiet, and the hanyou took it as an okay sign. He supposed he had to know…after all, what did he have to lose? It was the only thing he had to know now… "What if I told you I care about you?" he breathed almost hoarsely. "What would you say?"
"Inuyasha…" she began, feeling like she was going to faint at the sheer question as she felt herself close her eyes. She hadn't expected him to confess so suddenly…they had jumped from subject to subject, trying to avoid this exact question he had just proposed to her. "Don't say that...you're marrying my sister…" She knew it had been wrong to try and talk to him.
"What if I'm not going to?" he asked, sincerity and determination so prominent in his voice that even Kagome had to open her eyes. It took her all her willpower and drive to push the hanyou away, and when he let her go, she found herself missing the heat he gave her. She berated herself mentally.
"You will," she answered in a calm voice, which was the exact opposite of how she felt inside. "She cares about you so much. You have to marry her…I'll be going away after this…just please marry Kikyou."
"Why?" he all but almost whined as his eyebrows came down in uncertainty. "Why would you want to leave?"
She looked away, feeling crowded even though it was only Inuyasha in the room. "I have my reasons," she answered furtively, her hands forming fists in frustration. He was trapping her again, wasn't he? "I don't belong here."
"You do. You belong here…" Inuyasha fisted his own hands as he tried to tell this stubborn girl just what his duty to her was…and what he should have said at the very beginning. "You belong here…with me."
Kagome brought her hand over her heart, feeling like it had almost been stabbed painfully by his words. She bit her lower lips, and her eyes grew hazy, as she turned around and walked towards his door, not being able to handle the pressure in the room. "It's too late for that. I have to leave," she whispered and was only a few more steps from the door before a blob appeared right in front of her. She stepped back in surprise and saw that it was Inuyasha blocking the doorway.
"Inuyasha…"
He looked desperate now as he blurted out, "What would make you stay? I've confessed…I'm even offering to not marry Kikyou and go against my mother's wishes…for you. Isn't that enough?"
Kagome could feel herself suppress a sniff as she whispered, "No." Her eyes trailed the length of the ground in front of her, before stopping at his feet. "If only it had been different..." she mumbled, almost to herself.
There was another moment of silence as the giggles and chattering of guests drifted up from the grounds to reach both their ears. If they knew what kind of scandals were occurring, they wouldn't be laughing in such a carefree manner…
"Kagome…" Inuyasha waited a few moments before the girl finally summoned the courage to catch his eyes. He knew it was always better to let her see just how much he meant it through his eyes. "What…what if I told you I love you?" He was sacrificing it all now…
Kagome felt a single tear drip solitarily down her cheek, creating a trail of salt. Her heartbeat was becoming even more unbearable as she felt the pain intensify in her chest. He had just confessed that he loved her…hadn't she always wished to hear those words come from his mouth?
But it was too late…everything was too late. No matter how many times he told her now, she wouldn't relent to words alone. She was doing this for him and everyone else…it wouldn't matter what happened to her. He deserved to be happy, and Kikyou could offer him more joy than she ever could…she was only doing this for him in the end. She looked at him determinedly, forcing her voice to remain collected.
"I don't."
She could see the mixture of emotions pass his face at her words: pain, despair, anguish, betrayal… It was all there.
"You're lying," he demanded with a somber face although his voice wavered with uncertainty. He looked like something akin to a lost puppy.
She continued to gaze calmly at him, pushing him gently out of her way as she answered with finality while walking out into the corridor, "I'm not."
---
She had been walking around aimlessly for a while, just pondering on what she had just told Inuyasha. It had been her chance, and she could have easily told him she felt the same way…but she couldn't. It had been an intense conversation in her opinion…everything had come out into the open, except for a few things such as her obligation to her hosts.
Snippets of conversations were being heard once in a while, drifting from the ball room. That was where the wedding was going to take place in less than ten minutes, and Kagome felt sick at the thought of even wandering near it. The whole castle was already decorated elaborately with the most beautiful adornments and walking around in them was like basking in the wedding glory. She didn't like it.
Suddenly, she felt a wave of calling coming from one of the rooms, and froze in her spot. She just knew it had something to do with Naraku…she had been waiting after all. The feeling disappeared, but she sighed as she walked towards the room and pushed the door open.
The room was dark, and looked to be a spare bedroom. Why hadn't she gotten this room instead of the room next to Inuyasha? Kagome's eyes trailed over the furniture, or lack there of, in the room before stopping her eyes at the opened window and its balcony. "Hello Kagura," she calmly greeted when she saw the wind youkai eyeing her coolly.
"Good evening," Kagura answered back with the same tone of voice, before continuing, strictly on business terms. "Naraku is waiting at the cliffs. Do you have the jewel?" The demon's eyes were void of any betraying emotions, as she raised an interested eyebrow.
"No…I'll go get it now." Kagome turned to walk out of the room, feeling Kagura's eyes on her at all times.
"Naraku will be waiting and watching for you then," Kagura said, slightly accentuating the word 'watching.'
Kagome didn't really get why she would, and when she turned around to glance at the wind youkai, Kagura simply continued to gaze at her with a slight smirk on her face. Kagome blinked her eyes slightly, before realization slowly surfaced. Naraku was going to be watching her every move…
Kagome felt herself shudder at the mere thought. She had to play her part faithfully until the time came for her to execute Naraku's death. That was, only if everything went according to plan.
Exiting the room, Kagome hurried to the library, the route there already having been second nature to her. Surprisingly, she actually knew her way around the castle and she had only been staying there for a month. Would she ever have a second chance to fix things again? At least in this lifetime?
She sighed as she rushed through the corridors in the dark, guided simply by the lights from the candles. It was so desolate here, and if she hadn't been sure that all of this hadn't been a nightmare, she would have thought that she was dreaming of running down endless corridors. Usually, the castle gave off such a warm aura, but at that instant, all she felt from it was rejection.
Kagome came to the library and walked in, taking the key from around her neck mechanically. Everything was going smoothly so far. The wedding had been the perfect distraction, so Naraku must have wanted the theft to occur tonight without any problems. She climbed up the ladder and put the key in the hole instinctively, gazing at the shelf of books moving to the side. That still seemed slightly spooky.
She clambered down the ladder and shuffled over to the room, entering with her eyes wide as the jewel twinkled merrily in the darkness. The aura was ethereal, almost as if it came from another existence and had just accidentally ended up here. She stepped up to it, her hands coming out to take it.
Was she ready to betray everyone, but protect them at the same time? She had tried before, but people had stopped her. A small part of her wished someone would stop her again this time, but she knew that this was the ultimate decision. Was she ready to throw away everything for the people of this castle…?
Inuyasha?
He had volunteered to sacrifice everything for her…
And he had told her he loves her…
Snatching the jewel from its place, Kagome bit her lips and turned on her heels, running out of the library, and leaving the secret room wide open unconsciously. It had all been too easy that she was sure guilt was eating her from inside out. How would everyone act when they found that their treasure had been stolen and that she had given it to one of their enemies?
Changing courses to go downstairs to the ball, it took her a few minutes to reach the entrance. All the last minute people were filing in rapidly, and people were squirming in their seats due to the tension. Higurashi Kikyou and Komiya Inuyasha were getting married…it wasn't everyday the other kingdoms saw a union between a human and a half demon, and it was amusing to say the least.
Kagome gazed at decorations trailing the walls and the seats and felt her heart give a little leap. She would never see her own wedding, and to gaze upon her sister's wedding with the man she loved…it was slightly bittersweet.
A small smile appeared on Kagome's lips as she turned away from the sight and ran back up the stairs to go to the room Kagura would be waiting at. If anything, she would rather have everyone hate her than have them dead because of her. It was always one sacrifice for another…
After a few minutes, she miraculously stumbled into it and saw Kagura on her feather, ready to fly off to Naraku. Kagome stopped as that small nagging part of her kept pressing on deep inside.
Kagura extended her hand out for the younger girl.
Kagome bit her lip. If she took her hand, there would be no turning back. There would be no one to change her mind anymore. It was just her and her own decisions battling it out…and the irrational side was winning.
"Going?" Kagura asked, slightly impatient.
Kagome took in a deep breath, and walked forward, taking Kagura's hand.
"Gone."
---
It felt strange in the traditional wedding kimono, and although he knew these weddings weren't supposed to have many people at the ceremony, but rather at the ball after, he was sure his parents had invited enough people to fill up the entire ballroom. It was just a necessity since he was of royal blood…
He could hear the chatter of people just beyond those doors, and Kikyou was right there, next to him…waiting to walk up with him to the priest. His heart felt like it was going to collapse at any moment. He had fought demons a hundred times bigger than him and didn't even flinch, but to walk up to the priest with Kikyou next to him…that was a terror bigger than life itself.
"Ready?" she whispered from his side, and Inuyasha stayed quiet for a few moments.
What was there to be ready for?
"Whatever," he muttered back and they both started walking into the ball room. Inuyasha's insides froze when everyone in there went quiet, but perhaps it was more startling how many people were actually present. It was mind-boggling.
What have I got myself into…
---
Kagome felt like she had been flying on the feather for a while. She could feel the cold bite at her skin through the material of her kimono due to the height and speed they were traveling. Kagome was sure it was going to rain soon because she could already feel a tiny drop fall on her face.
What was Inuyasha and Kikyou doing right now? Were they finished with the commitment vows? Were they joined together now? Where was the cheering? Maybe she couldn't hear it from where she was going.
She held on tighter to Kagura simply because the height was terrifying for one, and she felt like she was going to start crying at any moment. She was sure Kikyou would stop Inuyasha no matter what the hanyou told her because Kagome had asked her sister to keep him preoccupied.
"Why throw away everything?" Kagura suddenly asked, and Kagome let go slightly as the words repeated themselves in her head. Kagura continued, "It's just a boy. You're only doing this for him…why?"
The cliffs were appearing through the darkness now, and Kagome felt herself anticipate and dread the meeting with Naraku all at once. He was there---she could see and sense him---wrapped in darkness, waiting for her to hand his prize over.
The flying feather spiraled down to land gracefully on the top, and Kagome felt a strange sense of déjà vu. She remembered the last time she was here…only this time, there would be no Inuyasha coming to save her.
Kagome sighed as she turned to gaze at Kagura with a smile on her face, whispering gently "Because I love him too."
---
"Now that you both have been purified and have drank your sake, the groom must read the words of commitment and tie the union. Komiya Inuyasha, may you?" the priest asked and motioned for Inuyasha to talk to Kikyou.
The hanyou snapped out of the trance he had worked himself into because he had seemed to sense Kagome drifting further away, and gazed up at the priest, before turning to Kikyou slowly. Although he himself had never fancied how much make-up a woman had to wear, he had to admit Kikyou looked nice in her attire. The sleeves of her kimono trailed down to her ankle, indicating that she was a young, unmarried woman, and Inuyasha tried to remind himself that many men would have wanted to marry Kikyou…
"Kikyou, although we have hardly known each other for a long time, you have given me great happiness, love, confidence, understanding, and joy. I only hope in my life to reciprocate these qualities."
That was utter bullshit, and he knew he was only saying what was necessary. Taking a glance around at everyone, he felt his heart clench. They all looked so memorized and Kikyou's parents and his looked completely overjoyed, and even close to tears. It felt so much like peer pressure, and Inuyasha took in a deep breath as he gazed back to Kikyou, who was looking at him with a small smile.
"So, today, in front of everybody here, I would like to recite my vow to you which I will solemnly adhere to for the duration of our long walk in life together."
This was it. He was going to recite it, and there would be no turning back. After Kikyou said her piece, they would be husband and wife…for the rest of their life. Somehow, that just seemed unreal.
He closed his eyes for a moment, knowing that to everyone, it would look like he was just nervous. Perhaps he was, but it was for a completely different reason. The one girl he had ever admitted to loving had just told him she didn't love him back…what could be more painful? It almost hurt as much as seeing her die.
And now…he was going to marry her sister?
"I vow to honor and cherish the very essence of you in both my actions and thoughts for the rest of my life."
He had vowed.
A/N: [continues to nail in planks of wood in every window and opening of her home] I swear that if any of you organize an assassination party, you won't be able to see the ending of this story. I swear, darn it, don't kill me yet!
P.S. Vote for me in the last round of Elimination Nomination. It ends on June 26th. You never know how much faster I'll write if I actually win. I appreciate the support I've been getting so far. The link is on my profile as always.
Now, just please, don't kill me yet. You can when the story ends if you feel like it. [smile]