Chapter 7- Imladris: Until Then
After much searching that evening, he finally found Silaerín sitting on a secluded portico that was hardly used, looking up at the night sky. It had worried him that she had not come to the evening meal in the dining hall. Actually, it seemed to worry everyone except her father and brother. Not that he was surprised by that, but he had hoped that they would at least show a little more care for the elleth he and Elrohir had grown so close over the past seasons. How could anyone act in such a way to their family members? It was completely despicable.
And her brother! Oh how that snooty balrogion aggravated him to no end. It was enough that Celin treated Silaerín as though she were equated to the level of the dirt beneath his feet, but then he had come along and said some nasty things about the fact that he was staying in the house of people of impure Elven blood. It was the most dimwitted argument Elladan had yet to encounter. So what if there was the blood of Men within them? They also had Maiar, and more Elven than anything else. And that equaled a combination, as far as he was concerned anyway, far greater than any lanky Elf, even if the lanky Elf's grandfather was Lord Círdan.
Both he and Elrohir would have been more than happy to take the puny Teler to task. They would have won a fight easily any day, even if it was only one of them against Celin with a hand tied behind their backs. But the he-Elf was very lucky that their mother had called them away at that moment, to ask them to go find Silaerín.
He stayed near the entrance to the portico, watching her for a few moments, trying to ascertain her current mood before interrupting her. She did not seem to be in any disposition that he should be worried about, so he entered quietly and slowly. "You were not at the meal, Silaerín. Do you not wish to eat?"
"I thought I should stay out here, Elladan," she replied, not turning her head from the stars. "I have already caused enough trouble this day."
Elladan sighed and sat beside her, "You did not cause the trouble, Silaerín, and you know that. Your father is the one to blame for it."
She glanced at him, "Aye, that may be so, but I still could not face him this quickly. I would do something I regret."
"We would all help with that regretful task," he smiled, trying to lighten her spirits.
And that seemed to do the trick for a few moments at least as she giggled lightly. "I thought that this new vow he made with me would be a good one, but now I realize that my traveling will still be on his terms. I will never see any other land further than the Ered Luin."
"He cannot keep you chained up forever, Silaerín," Elladan said. "You will soon be of age and able to choose your own path."
"What will he do then? He will come searching for me. He would scour all the vile land from here to Mordor looking for me," Silaerín replied. "And I do not know if you have noticed recently, but I am not the adventurous type of elleth. I enjoy the comforts I receive as living a life of a lady, I could not maintain my existence living on my own in the wilds of this world. I do not even know how to hold a bow and arrow correctly."
"You could learn," Elladan continued, but knew that she was right. Silaerín was definitely not the type of elleth who would do something so rash as running from her father to hide in the wilds.
She glanced at him, giving him a sour look, "How will I accomplish that when my father will still control my teachings in Mithlond?"
Elladan decided that perhaps she was in a foul mood, but had bottled away until someone had found her, so he stopped talking. That was until another brilliant idea came to his mind. "Then you will bind with either Elrohir or I when we have grown a little more."
"Elladan, please. That is even more ridiculous than me running and hiding in the woods," Silaerín glanced at him.
"Why is it so ridiculous, Silaerín?" he asked, "The last I checked, I am free to choose whom I will."
"Yes, but it will not be for love," she said, sighing heavily. "When I bind with another I would want it to be for love, not convenience, even if you are the closest friend I have. What would you do if you found that the idea was complete balderdash after awhile? You may find a woman you love, and wish to be with. But you would have already committed yourself to me, and by that, would probably be counted among the Elves. But you would not be able to change your decision."
How did you explain to a perfectly rational elleth that he loved her enough as a friend and even sister that he did not care about all those possibilities?
"Nay, Elladan, I will not let you do that," Silaerín said with a frustrated laugh. "I too love you far too much as a friend and brother to put you through that. You have a very serious choice to make, and it should not be made so early on in your life or on such a whim."
How had she known what he was thinking? He sighed heavily, "I suppose you are correct."
"I am always correct," Silaerín smiled finally and let out a long, uneven sigh. "I am sorry Elladan, if it seems like I am being foul to you. You do not deserve it."
"I know that, Silaerín. You need not apologize," he said, pulling her into his arms and holding her close.
She rested against him and said, "There will be a way around this sure imprisonment. There always is, I just have to find it."
Elladan chuckled, "If anyone can, it will be you Silaerín. But what you must not do is go back to what you were when you first came to Imladris."
"I would never do that, Elladan. Not after I have experienced what one voice can actually do," Silaerín assured.
"At least we will not have to worry about that then, now will we?" he asked and laughed again.
She wondered aloud, "I do not know what I should be. Should I be angry that my father has come to Imladris and acted in such a way, or should I be sad that I will leave tomorrow?"
"If it was I in the same situation, it would be a horribly grievous thing to think that I would leave such wonderful Elves behind the following day," he replied, trying to get some rise out of her. Luckily it worked as she removed her head from its spot on his shoulder, and looked into his eyes as she laughed at him.
"I am serious, Elladan," Silaerín tried to frown to show her disapproval of his answer, but she had already lessened its effectiveness by the laugh.
He smiled and sighed, "I would be both things, but have more anger in my heart for my father."
She nodded her head and rested on his shoulder again. Silaerín said, "I will miss this land and its people terribly."
"Perhaps you will return some day in the future," he said, though both knew it was a slim chance that would happen. "Perhaps if you are wed, you will return here to dwell with your mate. Your father might allow that."
Silaerín did not reply for quite awhile, but she finally took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I plan to be back before that happens. I do not know how I will accomplish it, but I plan on returning before any binding takes place."
Again they were silent and gazed up at the stars, until he felt her eyes on him. He glanced down at her and gave her a quizzical look, "What is it?"
"I will miss you most, Elladan," she said.
"While I do not know why you will miss me most, I will remember that for a future day and time when we again shall meet and you wish to be rid of me because I have bothered you," he chuckled, trying to make himself believe it was a lighthearted comment she had given him, though there was no possible way it could have been meant so lightly, and he would cherish the sincerity of it for the rest of his life.
She laughed lightly and shook her head, "You alone do not bother me. It is the combination of you i and /i your brother that bothers me."
"Silaerín!"
They heard the call from their side, startling them both so greatly they scrambled to their feet quickly as the imposing father looked at them. Silaerín sighed, "Yes, Adar?"
"Why were you not at the meal?" Nenvír questioned.
"I did not feel like eating," she replied.
"Fine then, you shall go to your chambers and rest now. We have a long journey ahead of us," Nenvír commanded.
Silaerín rolled her eyes and glanced at Elladan. He sighed, "We will say our farewells in the morn, Silaerín."
With that, Silaerín nodded her head and disappeared down the long corridor to head for her chambers and Elladan was left alone with Nenvír. The Elf-lord said nothing to him, and only stood in his spot, looking over him carefully. With a grunt and dismayed shake of his head, Nenvír turned on his heels sharply, walking quickly away from the portico.
Elladan shook his head as he sat back down on the stone bench beside him. Somehow...sometime he and Elrohir would rescue her from her father. But the particulars of when that would happen and how it would happen eluded his thoughts. When he had a plan, though, he would follow through with it. It just had to be done.
The following morning...
The morning dawned grey and blustery for a Spring day, it a perfect tribute to the gloomy tenor that had fallen over Imladris and especially Silaerín. If only there were some way she could emancipate herself from her father... make her own decisions. It would all be better then, would it not? Lord Elrond would take her in and protect her, would he not? But reality was a bitter and fickle thing, and she knew that until she reached the age of one hundred- at least- her wish to be free of her father at any level would not be granted her. She was young, and perhaps one day she would understand her father's motives more clearly. He was her father after all, she should at least allow him the benefit of the doubt.
And so it was, Silaerín prepared for her return trip to Mithlond, going about and saying her farewells until she came to Celebrían and stood before her, the third to last Elf on her long list of Elves deserving of gratitude and a personal goodbye.
"Thank you, my lady," Silaerín said quietly, looking into the elder elleth's blue eyes. "Thank you for all you have done and helped me with."
Celebrían smiled warmly, reaching out to cup each of Silaerín's cheeks in her long, slender-fingered hands. "It was my greatest pleasure thus far in this world to look after you, Silaerín. You have become a daughter to me whether you are here or not."
The prickling behind her eyes finally became too much to handle and Silaerín felt the tear drops form at the corners of her eyes and then roll down her cheek slowly. Quickly she reached up to brush them away, but Celebrían had already done so. "I am sorry. I should not be so emotional."
"Under these circumstances, Silaerín, I would say you are entitled to be whatever you like," Celebrían said. "Even if that is cheerless and miserable. I only wish this could have been done under better circumstances."
"As do I," Silaerín sighed, the tears subsiding for now.
Celebrían smiled, "Know that I will work doggedly at trying to soften your father into letting you return to us."
She nodded her head, "I will hope that it works, then."
"It will, believe me," she chuckled lightly and placed a hand on Silaerín's right shoulder. "Go see my sons."
"Aye, my lady," Silaerín said and without waiting to ask, threw her arms about Celebrían to embrace her. "I shall always call you mother, because you are the only one whom has been like one to me."
Celebrían returned the embrace, holding her closely and placing a motherly kiss upon her forehead. "And know that I will always hold that distinction close to my heart."
She backed out of Celebrían's arms and smiled, "Until the next we may meet."
The Lady smiled fondly and shooed her away to seek out the two farewells she had wished would never come. It was not long until she found them, sitting on the steps at the front of the House, surveying the happens of the Elves not preparing to return to Mithlond. They stood quickly when they saw her, each giving her a feeble smile. She joined and stood before them, looking up into Elrohir's eyes and then moving to Elladan's before speaking.
"I will miss you both so much," Silaerín said, feeling the tears prick behind her eyes again.
"Not nearly as much as we will miss tormenting you," Elrohir smiled, pulling her into his arms and then releasing her. "Next time we see you, we will definitely be to large to fit in a wardrobe. You should suspect another interesting entrance, though."
That made her laugh heartily, forgetting her tears. If all else failed she could always find Elrohir to make her laugh at something. And then she turned to Elladan, remembering the previous evening and the quasi-farewell they had bid each other. She would miss him the most, whether he admitted that to himself or not. The slightly older twin smiled warmly, not saying anything as he hugged her close and released her.
He stepped back from her, and smiled then, "Remember that we will ride to your aide if we receive word of grief and unreasonable imprisonment in Mithlond."
"I will remember that," she giggled.
"And the next time we see you, we shall teach you how to shoot a bow and live in the wilds," Elladan continued, winking slightly.
Silaerín sighed, thinking of the solution Elladan had come up with the night before. It really was illogical to think that she could escape her father and live on her own in the wild. Frankly, she was just too frightened for the darkness that still crept around in the wilds of Middle-earth. Even if she learned those tasks, she would not do it, and she figured that also had something to do with her still not being a true risk taker. But the thought of that solution also brought up the second solution Elladan had offered. It shook her to her core to think that Elladan would suggest such a thing, even though it was made in a rash whim. Would he really do it if she asked it of him? Would Elrohir?
It was wrong to think like this. She was still very young and did not intend to wed any Elf for as long as she could, and the absolute last thing she would do would be to impose herself upon a peredhil who had a very difficult and important decision to make according in his life. She would not make him decide because of a duty he thought he felt for helping and protecting her.
Realizing she had not replied for quite awhile, Silaerín sighed, "I will remember that, Elladan."
"I know you will," he smiled, reaching into the cloak he was wearing and produced an envelope and held it out to her.
She took it from him and found that it was sealed with red wax in the likeness of their crest. Giving each of them a curious glance, she turned it over to find her named scrawled out in elegant Sindarin Tengwar. "What is it before I open it?"
"A letter from both of us," Elladan said.
"That you are not to open until you arrive in Mithlond," Elrohir finished.
"So that must mean there is incriminating evidence written in a sort of confession for only my eyes to see," she laughed, looking up at them.
They laughed and Elladan sighed, "You have a way for seeing the future."
"Or the past," she replied.
A moment of comfortable silence passed between them as the rest of the traveling party assembled in the courtyard. She turned to survey the group, assessing the amount of time she had left until she would be placed on her mare's back and they would begin their long journey home of quiet and mutual resentment that would result in tense expanses of silence between certain Elves, not just including herself and her father. Galdor would probably be in on it as well. Silaerín sighed and turned back to Elladan and Elrohir.
"I do not know when I will be back, but I will be back," she said.
"And we will wait on baited breath until that day," Elrohir replied. "Just remember that you are to keep us informed of the happenings in Mithlond."
"Aye, I will write as frequently as I can," she nodded and glanced around again, seeing her brother standing a short distance away and watching the interaction closely. He grinned smugly, as though he were pleased to see her in so much hurt over this event, but his expression turned to that of disgust when Elladan and Elrohir followed her gaze.
Silaerín rolled her eyes, "Has he said anything to you on his views of your family?"
The twins glanced at each other and then turned back to her, nodding their confirmation. Elladan sighed, "He made us well aware of them last eve, but will not discuss that now. For now, you must go and it is not important. It is easy to see we are greater than he."
She laughed and nodded her head, opening her mouth to say something when she was interrupted by a call for her. Silaerín turned to find her father standing beside her horse, and glanced back at the twins for a few moments, issuing her last goodbye with the saddened look in her blue eyes before walking to her father. Once atop her horse, they party started out along the path and to the thin bridge out of the city. When they were just past the gates, she twisted on her mount to look back at the gates. With a final wave to the twins who were watching them, Silaerín turned back in her seat. She glanced to her side, finding her father too close for comfort and watching he curiously.
"You will miss them?" Nenvír asked with no amount of pleasure in his tone.
"Aye," Silaerín responded, not meeting his eyes and making sure to keep her eyes forward as her show of coldness to him.
Nenvír chuckled almost evilly, "Celin says that the older one said he would bind with you if it meant you would be free of me?"
She glanced to her other side to find Celin and shot him a look of pure hatred, whether he registered it or not. Silaerín grumbled to herself, "His name is Elladan, and aye, he suggested it. I told him it was foolish to think that, with his decision he must make."
"It is better that he does not think of it," Nenvír replied. "You will find someone in Mithlond to suit your needs."
"But-," she started to protest, but he raised his hand to silence her.
"It is nothing to worry about anyway. Elladan," he stressed in a snooty manner, "no matter how long it is from now, will not wed you. Imladris is too far away. When the time comes, you will find someone in Mithlond."
Issuing that final edict, Silaerín scoffed and set her gaze forward, clenching her teeth together to bite back the choice words she wished to let out. Of course she was far too young to even think about marriage, but the one thing she knew was that there were not many ellon in Mithlond she would like to spend the rest of her long life, much less for one measly day.
This was certainly going to be the worst phase of her life. She could sense it already, even if there could be a chance for a silver lining around the dark clouds.
Balrogion- son of a Balrog
Ered Luin- Blue Mountains
A/N: Thank you to all who have reviewed thus far! I thrive off the stuff and hope to hear more from all of you soon!