Joey sat at home trying to organize her notes and work out what research she needed to get for her Watergate history assignment, but her mind kept wandering. All she could think about was Pacey. All she'd been thinking about for the past three weeks was Pacey. Ever since he had kissed her and made her face her true feelings for him, she hadn't been able to think of anything else.
Hence the reason she was way behind on her assignment. She had meant to go to the library this morning. She only planned to see Pacey for a minute, but one kiss turned into another, and another and before she knew it she had completely forgotten about the library.
And now her stomach was doing flip flops. She kept expecting Dawson to come running through the door demanding answers. Pacey said he would tell him today. She knew that she should be the one to tell Dawson, but she just couldn't find the words. How could she tell her best friend that while he wasn't looking she'd fallen in love with his best friend?
And she was in love with him. Maybe she had been for a long time. She hadn't told him yet, but she knew that if she wasn't already in love with him, she was well on her way. That's what scared her. She had never felt like this before. She had thought she was in love with Dawson, but the feelings she had for him didn't even come close to what Pacey was making her feel. Dawson never made her feel alive.
She didn't want to hurt Dawson, but she knew there was no other way. Once Pacey told him, he would be hurt. She just hoped he wouldn't do anything stupid to Pacey. Not that Pacey couldn't defend himself, but she did not want to be the cause of a fist fight between two best friends.
Sighing, she grabbed her things and left her house. She wasn't getting anything done at home, she may aswell go and find the research she needed at the library.
-&-
Jen said bye to Grams and was heading back inside when she noticed Pacey standing outside Dawson's house.
"Hey, Pace."
He turned his gaze away from the house to look at her. "Hey."
"Nobody home?" she asked, gesturing to the house as she approached him.
"I don't know, actually," he said thoughtfully. He hadn't thought to check yet.
"Could knock and find out," she suggested.
"I could just walk right in, you know," he told her. "They never lock it. I've been coming here since I was five years old, just walking right through the front door, making myself at home."
She could see the tension surrounding him, knowing how hard this would be.
"She wants to be with you, Pace. She does," Jen said, trying to ease his nervousness.
"And you know this how?"
"Told me so this morning."
Pacey sighed. That should have made him feel better, but it really didn't. "Why am I not happy to hear that right now?"
"Well, because right now you've gotta walk through that front door and tell your best friend that the only girl in the universe he can't live without..."
"Is the same one that I can't live without," Pacey finished. This was really going to tear them apart. But he loved Joey too much. He had fallen too deep to just let go.
"Yeah."
"I've had this conversation with him in my head a thousand times."
"Yeah? How's it go?"
"Oh, you know, Dawson saying something along the lines of..."Vaya con dios, Pace. I had my shot at making her happy. Now...Why don't you give it a try?""
"It could happen," Jen said, hoping it really would happen that way. "Just minus the Spanish part."
"Yeah." Pacey sighed, he only wished it were that easy.
Mitch came out of the house, ending the conversation between the two.
"Hey, guys," he greeted. "If you're looking for Dawson, you just missed him."
"Did he say where he was going?"
"Yeah. He said something about the library."
-&-
Joey was heading towards the library when she bumped into him.
"Joey, hey, where you off to?" Dawson asked her.
He was still talking to her so obviously Pacey hadn't told him yet. That just made her feel more nervous.
"I…er…heading to the library."
"Yeah? I just came from there. Didn't you go this morning?" Dawson frowned. "You know, Jo, you don't have to find everything out about Watergate for this assignment."
He smiled and Joey just nodded. "I know. I just want to do well."
"Well, I guess I should let you go."
"Yeah." She moved to walk past him but he stopped her again.
"Actually, Jo…"
"Yeah?"
"Do you want to do a movie night, tonight? It's been a while since we've hung out and I kinda miss it."
She stopped short, not knowing what to say. By tonight Pacey would have told Dawson everything and he wouldn't want to watch movies with her. Just not knowing how Dawson was going to react was killing her. They had agreed Pacey would tell him but she still felt like she should be the one. And if Pacey hadn't done it yet maybe that meant he was finding it hard. Maybe she should just do it now and get it over with.
"Actually Dawson, are you busy right now?"
"No."
"Do you want to go get something to eat?" she asked.
He was surprised at her offer. "Don't you have to go to the library?"
"You said it yourself, I don't need to know everything about Watergate for this assignment."
He smiled at her, glad she had listened to his advice as they headed towards a café together.
Pacey frowned as he watched Dawson and Joey walk into the local café together. What was going on? Maybe Dawson had cornered her and she hadn't been able to refuse? Maybe she had decided to tell Dawson herself?
He didn't know why they were together, but he didn't have a good feeling about this. He wondered if he should go and follow them and then they could tell him together. But that didn't seem like such a good idea. Dawson was bound to be more angry seeing them together.
He turned and started walking back home. He had to rescue Buzz from Doug anyway and he had promised he wasn't going to be long.
They ordered a couple of sandwiches and sat down in a booth near the back of the café. Joey played with her napkin distractedly, trying to think of a way to start the conversation. She knew she had asked him for lunch so that he might be inclined to not blow up at her in a public place. But with Dawson you never knew.
"Joey?" He touched her hand and she jumped. "Is something wrong?"
"Huh? No…nothing's wrong."
"I thought you were hungry? You haven't touched your food."
"I am." She lifted the sandwich and took a bite, trying to stop Dawson from watching her intently. Maybe she should have let Pacey deal with Dawson.
But she knew she couldn't. Dawson was Pacey's best friend too, but the bond between herself and Dawson had always seemed more than just friendship and she knew it would be better coming from her. And truthfully, she was worried what Dawson would say to Pacey when he found out. Dawson had a tendency to say horrible things to him when it suited him and she didn't want Pacey to have to hear anything like that.
"Dawson, I actually have to tell you something," Joey said, the thought of Pacey suddenly giving her courage.
Pacey always pushed her to be the best she could be and lying was not something she wanted to do.
"Really? What is it?"
"It's about us." Dawson smiled. "And Pacey."
"Pacey? What's he got to do with us?" He frowned, obviously not getting it.
"Dawson, you know you're my best friend, right? And I would never intentionally hurt you."
"Why am I not having a good feeling about this?"
"I need you to listen to me before you get angry."
"Why would I be angry?"
Joey took a deep breath and then blurted it out. "I-think-I'm-falling-in-love-with-Pacey."
She said it so fast it took him a few seconds to react and when he did react it wasn't what she was expecting.
He started laughing.
"In love with Pacey? Funny. Now what did you really want to tell me?"
"I'm serious." She said it with more determination this time. How dare he laugh at her? Being in love with Pacey was not funny.
"You're kidding?"
"No. I'm sorry, but I can't help how I feel."
His eyes turned cold and Joey knew that her hope for a blessing was out of the question.
"How could you do this to me? Does Pacey know? Is he in love with you too? How long have you been hiding this from me?"
"It's not like that. We care about each other."
"Oh, you care about each other. That makes it okay for him to just go behind my back and steal you." His voice rose in anger, not caring who was listening.
"He didn't go behind your back. We haven't done anything wrong."
"I trusted him."
"He didn't do anything!"
"How can you say that?"
"Dawson, please listen to me. We didn't mean to hurt you. We didn't. But I can't help it. I need him."
"You need him?" Dawson laughed. "Like you need every guy that comes along. First me, then Jack, now Pacey."
Joey didn't say anything, too stunned to even think of anything besides what Dawson had said. He just sat there, anger still boiling up inside him.
Joey stood up angrily. "Fuck you, Dawson. I wanted to tell you before anything happened because you were my best friend. But after what you just said I don't think I really give a damn whether you're hurting or not."
She turned to walk away, but then stopped and turned back to him.
"And another thing. If you even think about hurting my boyfriend the way you just hurt me, you're going to have a lot more than my anger to deal with."
-&-
Joey ran across town, tears running down her face. She couldn't believe she'd actually stood up to Dawson. She hadn't wanted to hurt him with this, but he hadn't even given her a thought before he called her a whore.
She expected that kind of thing from a complete stranger, not from someone who was supposed to love her. And to think she had been thinking about giving up Pacey for Dawson's friendship.
She knocked on the door of the one person she really wanted to see, praying he was home.
"Jo?"
"Pacey!" She threw her arms around him before he could say anything, clinging to him for support.
He rubbed her back softly as they walked inside together. "What's the matter, Jo? What happened?"
"I told Dawson. It was horrible."
"Oh, Jo, I'm sorry."
"No, don't be. He didn't take it well and he lashed out at me, but I'm glad he knows." She turned towards him as the sat on the couch together.
"I thought I was going to tell him?" he asked, a little confused.
"I know. But I just bumped into him and I needed to get it out," she explained, as they sat down.
"So, what did he say?"
"Not much. He just got really angry and said something horrible and then I told him he better just get used to us being together because I'm in love with you. I think he'll be…"
"Wait." He stopped her rambling. "What did you say?"
Joey frowned. "I think he'll be okay after he cools down."
"No. Before that."
She thought about it for a second and then grinned. "Oh. The part about being in love with you?"
"Yeah." Pacey smiled.
She leaned forward kissing him softly. "Well I do. I'm crazy in love with you, Witter."
His smile widened and he pulled her closer to him, giving her a long kiss. "I love you too, Potter."
"Good. Because I'd hate to have pissed Dawson off for no reason."
His expression turned serious. "He hates me doesn't he?"
"No. He couldn't hate you, Pacey. He just needs to get used to the idea. And if he doesn't then it's his problem."
"Are you feeling okay?" Pacey touched her forehead pretending to check her for a fever.
"Obviously, I'm not. I'm with you aren't I?"
"That's true."
Joey sighed, leaning against his chest on the couch and moving his arms around her. "I'm tired."
"It's been one of those days hasn't it?"
"Yep. I definitely wouldn't want to live it over again."
"That's good to know."
He kissed her forehead softly, not really believing that this girl in his arms really loved him. She actually told her best friend the truth and was really sitting in Pacey's arms, wanting to be with him.
Even if she didn't want to, he wouldn't mind living this moment over and over for the rest of his life.