Disclaimer: If Fushigi Yugi really did belong to me, I won't be wasting my freaking time writing fanfics, 'cause I can go around the world bragging about me being the author of FY. But, it doesn't belong to me, never has, never will. If it did, it's 2 gud 2 be true
A/N: You know what? Out of all the chapters I've done so far, this is the one that I truly enjoyed writing the most ) Btw, thankz to all the reviews. Love ya guys )
Chapter 12: Mixed feelings
Miaka walked to school thinking about what happened yesterday. After Tamahome told her about his past, she felt helpless as he cried on her shoulders. She couldn't find anything else to say but 'it's not your fault'. After that, good thing is that they finished their projects for tomorrow.
Miaka sighed, "We finished it all, I heard everything. I don't know but somehow I feel disappointed about something," she thought to herself not hearing Yui calling her.
" Hey Miaka! Wait up!" yelled Yui. She kept on running trying to catch up with Miaka.
" I feel sad because of what happened. His mother confined in a wheelchair and his girlfriend................dead."
" Miaka, hold on! Wait for me!"
" I didn't know that he actually fallen in love with someone.... but what about me?" Miaka scolded herself when she said the last part about herself. She shouldn't include herself on this one. Could it be that she's jealous about Tamahome's childhood friend?
" Miaka!" Yui shoved her with a little force because she doesn't seem to hear her. Miaka turned around to see who shoved her and saw Yui with a pout on her face.
" Oh hey, Yui-chan!" greeted Miaka putting a smile on her face.
" Are you ok today?" asked Yui.
" Yeah, I'm okay...."
" Well, sorry that I didn't get to call you last night. I had to go to Nakago's house and work on our project," Yui hid her blush but Miaka didn't seem to notice as she stared at the ground.
" Uhhh, that's ok. I forgot about it anyways..." Miaka simply said. Yui glanced at her and figured something's wrong.
" What happened last night?"
Miaka sighed, " He told me his secret, about his mom and that childhood friend of his," both girls headed inside the school doors.
" He finally told you......."
Miaka went to the bathroom, Yui following right behind her. Miaka sat down at the sink, ( don't worry, its clean LOL). Yui checked her reflection in the mirror, taking out a lipgloss from her backpack.
" Do you think he still loves her?" Miaka suddenly blurted out.
Yui stopped putting lipgloss on her lips and turned to Miaka with her eyebrows raised. She saw her bestfriend's troubled expression and figured out what's wrong with her. Yui laughed which caught Miaka's attention. She looked at her, wondering what she's laughing at.
" It's just so funny seeing you get jealous over something," Yui seeing Miaka's confused look, continued on. " Miaka, I can tell you're jealous over that Naomi girl. It's pretty obvious that you're troubled because you actually have a rival in Tamahome's heart."
Instead of denying what Yui said, Miaka just sighed. She knew that Yui was right, she is jealous over that girl...even though she is dead. She just couldn't accept the fact that Tamahome actually loved someone else. " Wait a minute," she thought to herself, " why the hell am I jealous anyways? It's not like I'm inlove with him or something......or am I?" Miaka shook her head, mumbling under her breath 'no' over and and over again.
Yui smirked, " It's been two years, I don't really know if he still loves her. You should ask him."
" Yui-chan, I don't know why I'm even acting all jealous...its not like we have a relationship or something."
" But you love him don't you? Or maybe you're starting to fall for him?"
Miaka didn't need to deny anything from her bestfriend, since she can tell what's wrong already. " I don't know Yui-chan...I just don't know." Miaka rubbed her forehead, she's starting to get a headache from all of this.
" For now, stop thinking about it. You'll figure your true feelings out sooner or later, " comforted Yui, seeing as her bestfriend have a hard time figuring her feelings out. She rubbed her back trying to relieve her, then she said, " Let's go to class now."
Miaka took a deep breath and nodded. She jumped off and walked outside, with Yui beside her.
Wednesday
Miaka glanced at Tamahome on the side. He was munching on some potato chips and talking to Nakago. Since this past days, Tamahome is still acting the same while she couldn't because she can't stop feeling sad for Tamahome. She also can't stop this feeling of jealousy inside of her and she's trying to fight the desire to ask him if he still loves Naomi.
" Man, good thing all those projects are over. That oral presentation thing was a pain in the butt. We had to stand up in front of the class and introduce each other, that's only for elementary," Tasuki whined.
" Just be glad that it's over," said Soi.
" Well, you two," Hotohori looked at Tamahome and Miaka, " had the most full infos about each other."
" We worked hard," Tamahome winked at Miaka's way which Miaka returned with weary smile, and went back to thinking.
" Ahhhhh, if I don't stop this, I'll end up in a mental institute." Miaka said to herself. She rubbed her temples feeling another headache coming up. She needed to get everything out of her system but she just couldn't. Tamahome might think about it in a wrong way if she asks whether he still loves Naomi or not.
Tasuki saw Miaka's troubled expression and turned to her, " Hey, you alright?"
Miaka looked up to see Tasuki's concerned expression as well as Soi's who was talking to each other a while ago. Miaka sweatdropped, " Yeah, my head's just killing me."
" It's because you think too much?" Tamahome spoke up. He scooted a bit closer to Miaka and put his arms around his shoulders. " What are you thinking about anyways?"
" Uhhh, nothing. Nothing at all."
" You sure Miaka? If you have a headache, I can get some medicine for you from the nurse's office," Houki concernedly suggested.
" I'm okay everyone, no need to worry about me." Miaka assured everyone that she was alright. Although, Yui knows why she's troubled, sighing to herself.
Everyone went back to whatever they were doing when Miaka made shooing movements to them. Tamahome didn't though, he stayed at Miaka's side, with his arms still around her shoulders. Yui took the opportunity to scoot in with Nakago and engage in conversation with them.
Miaka, forgetting about Tamahome beside her, went back to rubbing her temples. She was startled when Tamahome suddenly tightened his arms around her.
" You're troubled by something, what is it?" Tamahome asked.
Miaka didn't bother to look at him, " Nothing..... I already told you guys, its just that I'm starting to get a headache ok?"
" Come on, I know its not just that." Tamahome insisted.
" It's nothing that concerns you anyways, so why would you care?" Miaka didn't realize that it came out kind of rude. She also didn't see the hurt that displayed in Tamahome's eyes. " Although, it does concern you, and I'm starting to get irritated about it, damn!" Miaka kept on thinking to herself.
" I just wanted to know what was up," Tamahome said in a hurt voice but Miaka still didn't seem to detect it.
" I said it's nothing. Leave me alone," Miaka snapped, but then slapped herself on the forehead because ( FINALLY) she realized that didn't came out right.
She felt Tamahome's arms loosened around her. She took a peak at the corner of her eyes to see that he now had his back towards her, deciding to engage with the others in their conversation. Miaka once again slapped herself mentally for being stupid. Tamahome was only concerned and yet she totally snapped at him.
Miaka sadly sighed, not bothering to say sorry to Tamahome, got up from the table. She picked up her backpack and went off which caught the attention of Nakago. He raised his eyebrows, turning to Yui, " Where's your friend going?"
Yui spun around to see Miaka in a far off distance, " Miaka, where are you going?!" she yelled. Miaka just waved at them without a word and kept on walking. Yui was about to follow her, standing up from the table but was suddenly pulled down by a somewhat irritated Tamahome.
" Just leave her alone for now. That's what she wants anyways..."
Yui looked back at the vanishing figure of her bestfriend, deciding to sit down while the others looked concernedly her way. They figured out that something is really bothering Miaka but kept quiet. Yui glanced sideways at Tamahome's pouting face. She can tell that he is annoyed by Miaka's coldness all of a sudden.
" Miaka, why don't you just ask him?" Yui whined to herself.
Miaka spotted an oak tree nearby. She wasn't far from the school at all. She just wanted to have some peace and quiet so she decided to go around the school to the back. She spotted only a few students who were hanging out in there, but mostly they were studying or reading some books. Miaka spotted a desserted oak tree nearby.
She sat down on the grass, placing her backpack on the side. She leaned back against the tree, its leaves sharing enough shade for her to hide from the sun. There she relaxed fully, closing her eyes, enjoying the silence of the surroundings.
Miaka's headache seemed to have been blown away by the wind. She felt relieved, going back into thinking. She knew that she had hurt Tamahome's feelings when she snapped at him a while ago. However, it did relieve her somewhat because she was able to shut him up for a moment because she was confused as it is.
So many nights I lie alone, wishing that you were on the phone
So I could tell you things I never shared with anyone
" What's happening to me anyways? I shouldn't care about him, I shouldn't even want to know if he still loves that past girlfriend of his. Why should I care about an annoying guy like him........but he did change throughout this past few days. The first time, he really got in my nerves but then lately...."
I never felt like this before wishin and hopin, wanting more
and now my wits are lost and you have conquered all my thoughts
I got to thinkin that I'd never fall in love
cuz you're the only one I'm dreamin of
Miaka reminisced about the first time she saw Tamahome. She laughed when she remembered their first name calling. Their bodies collided with each other, Tamahome calling her a wench, her calling him a jerk. Miaka giggled at that memory.
With one look in your eyes
and one taste of your kiss
and suddenly I knew, I've fallen for you
there's nothing I can say
nothing I can do
I've fallen for you
" If you remained that way, if you're still mean to me, maybe I wouldn't feel so concerned about you this much even though you hang out with my bestfriend. I wouldn't be even thinking of you this much. It's better to get irritated and annoyed by you, but if it makes me think this much now that we're friends, I think I liked it better before."
Its amazing the way you make me feel
wonder if everything is real
my world is spinning round so fast that I can barely see
She remembered the time when they went to the movies. The way he made her feel safe in his arms as she watched that awful scary movie. The warmth she felt emitting from his body, also the way she would blush while Tasuki teased them but he still acted all cool about it. Miaka suddenly felt as if everything's coming out of her system right now as she got to think about it all slowly.
the way that you look, the way you walk
something about the way you talk
Miaka went back to the incident 2 nights ago, Tamahome sharing his past to a girl like her that he only knew for about a week. He cried onto her shoulders like a little kid, which made Miaka happy because he trusted her fully.
" The kindness that he shows me now is different from everyone elses. Even though he annoy me sometimes, I can tell that he cares for me a lot. I don't know why though, but lately I've been hoping for something else that that smile could mean."
It sends a voice that's like an angel calling out for me
so now I'm thinkin that I finally fell in love
cuz you're the only one I'm dreamin of
Tears started forming in Miaka's eyes, she feels relieved at the same time because all the strain is coming out. All her feelings is starting to clear up and she can't help to cry because of the relieving feeling she's starting to have.
With one look in your eyes
and one taste of your kiss
and suddenly I knew, I've fallen for you
" But why Tamahome? Why the sudden change in you? It's not like I liked you better when you were an annoying jerk but at least it gave me a bit peace of mind."
there's nothing I can say
nothing I can do
I've fallen for you
" Tamahome.............You've learned to trust me at such a short time....and....--" Miaka's eyes snapped wide open as she just realized something. She gasped in shock, her hands flew to cover her mouth with both hands. She tried to calm herself down, leaning back to the tree and closing her eyes.
This feeling's lasted longer than it ever has before
I've had a taste of you and now I'm only wanting more
It couldn't be it. She must be wrong! She has to be wrong! But...it now seems so obvious. Miaka opened her eyes once again whispering into thin air-
you know together we'd be, so amazing you'll see
just take a look in your heart...here with me
" During that short time, I've also learned how to love him. I'm in love with him! I'm in love with Tamahome........."
A/N: There u go! Chappie all done! With Tamahome a bit mad at her for ignoring him and Miaka finally realized her feelings for him!!! By the way, the song that I've put up there is by Ruby Blue and its called Fallen For you. I love the song, its really cool, while I was writing the story I was listening to the music. It's a lot better if you listened to that music while reading this chappie..seriously! Anyways, REVIEWS PLEASE )