A/N: My last offering to all of you before I delve head first into studying for college exams. But after the dearth of chapters for the next few weeks, I will make it up to you by having four weeks off with nothing to do but write. Anyway, to anyone else in the midst of final exams, my sincerest wishes of good luck for all of you. And I'll say Happy Holidays now, in case I forget later.
Chapter 22: Interlude- Letters Between Friends
8 Laer 2951 of the Third Age
To my friend,
Things go on much as they have since my last letter to you, except now I write to you from my chambers in Imladris. It is wonderful to be home again; I did not realize just how much I missed it during my long stay in Lórien. But as soon as I set foot back into the realm, and smelled the scent that the plants permeate here, I smiled to myself. I would surely miss this place if I were to ever leave it for good.
Elladan and Elrohir rode with some of the Dúnedain to Lórien to escort me through the mountains. They said they trust no one but themselves to watch over me, and still have not come close to forgetting what happened to our mother. I think about it often as well, but each time I see them, they seem to grow more and more disconnected from all that is good in the world. They seem to think their role in this life is to hunt down every single fell beast and kill them. It truly frightens me the way they speak sometimes of vengeance and retribution. Each time I do hear it, I know it cannot possibly be them thinking it. I worry about them, Silaerín. They care for nothing except death and glory, and do not settle into one relationship with other females.
I could easily blame it on the group of Men they ride with. The Dúnedain are an odd people. They wear blacks and greys, smoke like chimneys and have some very foul dispositions sometimes. True, they are Men of the greatest integrity and valor, but sometimes they can be downright gloomy. I know not when I will return to Lórien, but hopefully when I do, it will not be with them.
However, on a possibly happier note, (I know it is for me) from a rather somber letter… I met someone upon my arrival. He is a Dúnadan as well, but he is a young one, no more than 20 years of age. I know that is young and inexperienced in our eyes, but he seems to be much wiser than he sometimes lets on. He has been my father's ward after the death of his father when he was only two years of age. My brothers say they that they have been schooling him on his weaponry and other things, of unwholesome quality I am sure. He is handsome for a Man, and Chieftain of his people. I do not think I could expound all of his qualities that first attracted me, but it is evident Ada is not pleased with it. I will remind him, should the time come, that it is my choice. But that probably will do no better to ease his worry. And as you may now be wondering his name, it is Aragorn. Everyone here in Imladris calls him Estel, because they did not reveal his true heritage until only a few days ago. If you have not connected names or history yet, he is the heir of Gondor and Arnor. I do not think he has quite come to terms with what this means to him, but when it does, I hope he does not turn away from the path. This is all in my hindsight, though.
The truth is, I know not what to do about this. It is obvious to me that there is a certain attraction there between us, but he is young and will have many trials ahead of him. And if I were to choose him, that would mean I would remain in Arda and have the Doom of Men bestowed upon me. What do you say on the matter? I would not bring this up with you, because of the past happenings, but I value your opinion on the matter. I am sure you know that already.
I will stop boring you now with stories from my life. I truly hope life is good in Mithlond. I should very much like to see you soon, but I do not think I will be able to make a journey there because of Elladan. I am sure Elrohir would gladly come see you, but as you know, they go nowhere without each other. Please write me as soon as you get this.
Your friend,
Undómiel
--------------
54 Iavas 2951 of the Third Age
My dearest Undómiel,
I know not where to begin on your last letter. First I suppose I should apologize for the long wait on this. The messenger did not arrive until last month, because of urgent letters being sent from your father to grandfather, that was then passed to Mirkwood. And in addition to that, for the past month I have been summarily occupied with a male of my own. The ellon I am referring to is Bainon. You have met him before, I am sure. It is no more than a good friendship at this point, and I know not if it will become more. Truthfully, I do not want it to become more, for my heart is still bound with Elladan, no matter how much I wish the bond would break.
So this leads me to the first part of your letter. I do hope that one day Elladan and Elrohir will find peace in their lives, and I also hope it is not at the extent of their passing into the Halls to achieve that peace. I miss both of them terribly, one more than the other, and even though I wish not to speak with Elladan, I still do care for him beyond that of loving him. He deserves more than living with the pain he feels for Lady Celebrían. If you find a moment where he is not in the most terrible of moods, please let him know that my thoughts are with both him and Elrohir as they continue their errantries.
However, there is one thing I wish you not to tell him. I believe that I will travel over Sea in a few years time, because I cannot bear it to be in this world and not be able to have him with me. He was my one solid companion for all of my life; I feel as though a piece of me is missing. I beg you to not tell him this news, for it probably will only make him more unbearable to live with, or lead him to make rash decisions.
That is enough of that talk right now. Your description of the Dúnedain was quite humorous, I must say. But I suppose that is what you get with Men of their upbringing. The news of your newfound interest in one of them, while disheartening to hear as it will cause your father great pain should you choose to be mortal, I believe you are the only one to decide if this is what you truly want. If love blossoms between you two, and you find that you cannot live without him, I am of the philosophy that it is better to live one short lifetime with him, than not have him at all for the rest of the ages of the world. Love is not something you can push aside, Undómiel, believe me. I have learned that much these past four hundred years, and it is unbearable to live with the reality that you still hold a great love for someone and no longer have them.
I am happy for you if the relationship with Aragorn continues to grow. I will support your decision as your friend and fellow elleth. I should like to meet him, though, if I am given the chance, to make sure that he is of the highest caliber for you. You deserve no less than greatness from man or ellon.
The sun is rising and the messenger is set to leave, so I must end this letter now. As always these letters add a great amount of color to my rather grey life here in Mithlond.
With all of my love,
Silaerín
---------
1 Laer 3019 of the Third Age
Undómiel-
I have not heard from you since my last reply a few years ago, in my complete joy for your betrothal. I hope to operate under the assumption that the message was lost, or you were occupied with other things more worthy than my note and not harmed in anyway by these dark times. This message will be sent to Gondor to ensure you receive it when you arrive, or the courier may run into your traveling party. The tidings that came as news of the war ending, Aragorn's crowning and your departure to Gondor to marry him has reached my ears and inspired this letter.
News from around Arda always seems to be delayed reaching here, or I would be in Gondor for your wedding. Since I cannot be there, I send my deepest wishes for a lifetime of happiness with Aragorn. I would have given anything to see you named Queen of Gondor, and wed to this man you speak so highly of.
There is not much to speak of here, but I will give you a small message as this message must remain short. I shall leave in two days time on the next ship to Aman. It will be no use trying to stop me from doing this, as you are so far away, but I thought I would let you know of what was to happen to me so you do not send a reply to this letter. I shall miss you and our letters a great deal, and as well as the rest of your family.
Tell your father that I will expect more lessons in healing when he sails to Aman.
To Glorfindel and Erestor, let them know that I will expect their visit when they come to Aman.
For your brothers… there is no easy way to put what I would like to say on this parchment. Tell Elrohir I will forever miss his charm and wit, and the friendship he has given me all these years was something that has meant much to me.
To Elladan… (perhaps privately is best for this message)… tell him that no matter what separates us, whether it be foolishness or Sea, I will always love him. Just let him know that, and give him a kiss for me.
I must go now, my brother and Bainon are calling for me.
Once more, my best wishes to you as you embark on this new journey with your love.
Your friend,
Silaerín
--------
"My lords and ladies!" called the Elf now galloping up to them. Elladan stiffened, looking around, to make sure that there were no troubles on the horizon that this Elf was riding to inform them of. But the Elf slowed, and he noticed a large satchel bag and that it was one of the regular couriers that traveled around Eriador. However, they were now out of Eriador.
Glorfindel called to the Elf, "What news do you bring, Authion?"
The Elf slowed his mount to a relaxed canter with the others, so that they did not need to stop. Elladan watched as Authion greeted his father and grandparents, then glanced at Arwen, "I was sent on an urgent errand by Lady Silaerín."
They had been pretty silent for much of this journey, but if it was at all possible, the group became even more silent as the name settled into their minds. Elladan sighed heavily, his mind going directly to worrying about Silaerín now. What had happened she needed to send an urgent message to them? No matter what he did, and no matter how he denied it, the love he held for Silaerín always made him wonder what she was doing, and at moments like this, made him worry for her.
And to be truthful, the thought of Silaerín was the only thing that kept him going anymore, especially after all of the horrors he had seen since the end of the War.
"What goes on in Mithlond?" Elrond asked.
"My urgency was to make it before Lady Arwen's wedding," Authion said, reaching down into his satchel bag and withdrawing an envelope. "Lady Silaerín was preparing to leave for Aman when she sent me to deliver this."
The words hung in the air, and he felt his world swirl around and break apart at that moment. She was leaving Arda for Aman. She was leaving him. Of course, he should not have felt this way. He was the one who created this faction between them. Really he was surprised she had not done this sooner.
Arwen took the letter from Authion, and opened it slowly after readjusting the reins in her hands. His father glanced at the courier and smiled, "Will you ride with us to Minas Tirith?"
"Nay, I am sorry to say that I must ride to Mirkwood with a missive to Thranduil," said Authion. The messenger smiled and glanced at Arwen again, "But before I leave, I would like to wish you best wishes in your marriage, Lady Arwen."
Arwen smiled, "Thank you, Authion."
"Farewell, mellyn nín," Authion replied and began his ride north.
They were again silent and Arwen took her time reading through the letter. Halfway complete with it, she let out a heavy sigh and shook her head. Before he could ask what was wrong, his father broke in, "What news does she send?"
"She is to sail to Aman with Bainon, the ellon who had been courting her," Arwen replied quietly, and glanced quickly in Elladan's direction with an annoyed expression. It was evident she was trying to show her disapproval for the millionth time for what he had done to Silaerín. And Arwen was very good at reminding him of it as well, every single chance she got.
"Bainon?" questioned Galadriel.
"Aye, Iaurnaneth," Arwen nodded. "He is a high ranking harbor guard. She has written in the past saying she thinks it will go nowhere, but that she was willing to try."
"I see," Galadriel said and sighed, looking back out on the plains before them.
Arwen continued to read, and began to announce the things Silaerín had directed her to tell the family. She finished with Elrohir's statement and paused for a long while, as though she was finished and Silaerín had not written anything to him. A light pang of anger mixed with his guilt, and he set his jaw, sure that everyone would be aware of his discontentment. But Arwen soon rode to join his side, and handed the letter to him.
He looked over the delicately formed letters and read where Arwen had pointed. He knew then and there that he would live the rest of his life in complete and utter pain and guilt for what he had done. It was foolish for him to do what he had done, and he wanted to reverse time so that he could right his wrongs, but that was not at all possible. Now he would just have to live with the fact that Silaerín was gone, was probably planning to bind with Bainon, and that he would forever live his life in guilt.
Unless he chose mortality.
------------
8 Laer- 30th of May, Modern time
54 Iavas- 24th September.
1 Laer- 22nd May
mellyn nin- my friends
Iaurnaneth- grandmother