(A/N: Mario, Luigi, and all other related characters in the Mario Universe belong to Nintendo.)
ONE CRAZY NIGHT
7:37 PM :: Toad Town
--Bowser was sitting on the curb at the corner of Shroom Street and Fungi Avenue. He tried to conceal his tears but the more he tried the more he cried. Every cry Bowser made sounded like dump trucks slamming into a brick wall.
Mario: "Arrggh! Bowser, please stop crying so loudly! You'll wake up the whole neighborhood!"
Bowser: "WAAAAAAHAAHAAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Toadette: "Something has to be done! My ears are beginning to bleed!"
Mario: "Bowser, please stop crying. I'll give you cookies."
Bowser: ?"
Mario: "Yep, I have a whole bunch waiting for us at home. Here, dry your yellow eyes."
--Bowser took the handkerchief from Mario and it caught on fire.
Toadette: "What th..?"
Mario: "Yeah, Bowser's tears are part sulphuric acid, part kerosene, part fire-starting shiznit."
Toadette: O.O
Bowser: "That's nothing, you should see me blow my nose." (sniff)
Mario: "Another time. What I want to know is why are sitting here all alone, in the middle of the evening, crying to yourself like as if I just beat you up again."
Bowser: "I'd eat your limbs right now for saying that, but I really want those cookies. Honestly, I don't know how or why I ended up here."
Toadette: "What do you mean?"
Bowser: "What do you mean by what do you mean? What do you think I mean? I have no idea how or why I've gotten to where I am at this point!"
Toadette: "Someone here is obviously in a bad mood. Maybe we should leave?"
Mario: "Yeah lets leave him."
Bowser: "NO DON'T LEAVE ME PLEEEEEEEEEEASE! All I know is that I went to sleep in my castle and started dreaming. I was dreaming about flying. But I was flying in a huge ocean. So, yeah I was swimming. Anyway when I left the ocean I appeared on the set of Third Watch. That's when..."
Toadette: "Ick, Third watch? That show blows."
Bowser: "Speak for yourself that is one of the best shows ever of all time!"
Toadette: "Yeah I guess if you like lame, melodramatic..."
Bowser: "I'm not finished talking about my dream yet! So I was on the set of Third Watch and then one of the cops, the manly woman one, walked over to me. She said 'I don't take crap from anyone!!!' and she shoved a donut in my nose. That's when I woke up and these homeless kids were trying to eat my tail and I got really scared."
Mario: "Okay..."
Bowser: "..."
Mario: "So what happened next?"
Bowser: "Oh right...I ate them. I ate the children. They were good."
---Silence---
Bowser: "I'm just kidding, hahah!"
--Mario and Toadette let out a relieved laugh.
Bowser: "Or am I?"
---Silence---
Bowser: "Yeah I'm kidding. COOKIE TIME! COOKIE TIME! COOKIE TIME! COOK..."