Chapter 3: Desperation

"…sorry, but she is not your girlfriend." Sara heard as consciousness returned to her.

Her eyes fluttered open and she saw her aunt Patrice and the mysterious boy from her dream talking quietly.

"Are you absolutely sure? I mean, she's spitting image of Karen! And you yourself said that she's had amnesia for the last three years! That when Karen's fer—"

"She was in a terrible car wreck with her parents. Her parents were killed in the wreck and she was stuck with a lost memory." Patrice cut him off.

"I… I still can't help but to think about how…" Patrice sighed heavily. "I understand your feelings. I know how it is to lose a loved one, but she is not your Karen. Her name is Sara Dickens. She is my niece. Not Karen. And I'd appreciate it that you don't go trying to get her to remember memories that aren't there. She's been under a lot of stress lately and that's the last thing she needs."

Sara sat up slowly and all eyes in the room were immediately on her. Patrice stood and walked over to the bed she was lying in. "Sara, honey? Are you all right?" She asked.

Sara looked at her in confusion as the drowsiness of her slumber wore off. "W-where are we?" Patrice smiled warmly but it didn't reach her eyes. "We're in… a place called Flowerbud Village. Do you remember what happened last night?"

Memories of the night invaded Sara's mind and she almost groaned out loud. "Yeah. We crashed." Patrice sighed. "Yes, we did."

Sara's eyes met the boy's eyes. He smiled softly but his eyes showed a battle being waged in his head. "And you are…?" She asked.

He walked up to her and held out his hand. "I'm Jack. Jack Williams." She noticed how much the name sounded familiar. "Williams… where have I heard that before?"

Jack's eyes widened and he was about to speak but her aunt cut in. "Williams is a common name. I do not believe you've ever met him." Jack nearly sighed and he turned away. "Yeah, she's probably right. Williams is a common name." He walked off toward his kitchen, presumably to make breakfast.

"Is he okay?" asked Sara. Patrice sighed. "No. I do not believe he is. He has a broken heart, you see." Sara looked at her in confusion but then she remembered the conversation she had heard. She decided not to press the issue.

There was loud rap on Jack's door and he burst from the kitchen. He ran across the room and opened the door. In the doorway was a red-headed girl who was out of breath.

"I just heard from Cliff! Is it—"

"No." Jack said solemnly. "She's just… a look-alike." Ann's features grew dim. "For a second I thought…" Jack nodded and gave her a friendly hug. "Yeah, me too."

They parted and Ann said, "Mind if I see her?" Jack nodded slowly and moved away from the doorway so that Ann could come inside.

Ann let out a silent gasp when she saw the girl sitting on Jack's bed. "She looks so…" She whispered to herself.

She immediately put on a bubbly expression and walked quickly over to the two women sitting on the bed. "Hi! I'm Ann!" She said with a smile.

Patrice politely shook Ann's hand. "My name is Patrice Dickens and this is—"

"Sara Dickens." Sara said. Ann eyed her carefully and stuck out her hand for her to shake. Sara shook her hand politely.

"Um… excuse me." Ann said and she walked into Jack's kitchen. Seconds later, she stuck her head back out. "Jack? Wanna give me a hand in here?"

Jack looked at her strangely. "You aren't making breakfast! I've tasted your—"

"Just get in here!" Ann aid, her voice rising. Jack quickly complied and she shut the door behind him.

"What are you doing?" He asked. Ann sighed heavily. "She has to be Karen! She even has the voice!" Jack sighed. "No. She isn't. From what Patrice tells me, her parents were killed three years ago in a car accident. She was also in the car and she's amnesiac."

Ann crossed her arms across her chest. "And you believe that?" Jack looked at her strangely. "Why wouldn't I?" Ann sighed. "Jack, she's hiding something!"

"How do you know?" Now Jack was interested. Ann sighed. "I saw it. In her eyes, I mean. She's lying about something and I'm going to find out exactly what it is."

Sara looked at Patrice. "Aunt Patrice?" Her aunt looked at her. "Yes, dear?"

"I…" Sara started. "I need to get some air." Patrice looked at her strangely. "Are you feeling all right?" Sara nodded. "Yes, I just need to get some air." Her aunt sighed. "Yes, fine. Just don't wander."

Sara nodded, pulled on her shoes, and began for the front door. Patrice's voice stopped her before she could exit though. "And don't… don't talk to any strangers." Sara gave her and strange look and left the house.

She was greeted by a beautiful view of a huge field of corn. To her left, there was a field of long grass where multiple cows and sheep were grazing. Clucking chickens were also heard.

A small dog, a Chihuahua, ran over to her and began sniffing her feet. Sara bent down and began petting the small dog. "Hello! Why, you're a cutie, what's your name?" The Chihuahua barked a reply and began running around her.

"His name is Taco." A soft voice said from behind her. Sara jumped visibly and turned around to see Jack standing outside his door.

He walked closer to her and let loose a shrill whistle that made Sara wince. A large chestnut colored horse ran over to the two and snorted. "And this…" Jack said as he grabbed a brush from his rucksack and began brushing the horse. "Is Thunder."

Sara watched in awe at the large animal. "He's… beautiful!" Jack smiled softly at her. "Yeah… and he's the winner of the Horse Race a few times in a row now."

"You're kind of quiet, aren't you." Sara blurted out. Jack looked back at her and smiled. "No… not really, it's just… did your aunt fill you on what's going on for me?"

Sara sighed. "No, but I heard some when I woke up. So I look like your old girlfriend, is it?"

Jack smiled warmly. "She was… she was more than my girlfriend. She was a gift straight from God. My soul mate."

"It sounds like you really loved her." Jack nodded slowly. "Do you mind if I ask what happened?"

Jack smiled once again and began. "I guess I should tell you my story here.

"Three years ago, early spring, my grandfather, the former owner of this farm died and for some unknown reason, he left me the farm. So, I accepted and moved here from New York to well… farm!"

"Oh! I live in New York!" Sara said. Jack smiled and nodded. "Anyway, soon I found out some things about this village. First of all, it's got some strange people and secondly… it has its own religion. It's a religion that follows a… 'goddess'. The people here are very adamant about leaving that faith, especially Karen.

"But, back then, I couldn't care less about some 'religion'. I had more important things on my mind. Like how I, a city boy, was going to manage a farm by myself.

"Well, through a series of strange occurrences, such as her slamming a door into me and me accidentally spraining her ankle by bumping into her, we became good friends.

"But that friendship soon spawned a relationship." Jack sighed heavily before continuing.

"Well, Karen was about the most zealous of all the Goddess followers. She believed that any other faith or belief was evil and should be abolished.

"And when I… when I became a Christian, it shook the very foundations of our relationship.

"Let me give you a bit of background here. It's always been her dream to travel to New York and hit it big on Broadway. It's been her dream since she was a little girl. And when I became a Christian, she decided that she would follow her dream and she left on the first ferry that became available.

"Well, that day, there was a terrible storm and the ferry was sunk. The captain was found dead, but her body had never been recovered."

Sara was silent for a few minutes. "Did you ever think that maybe… she's still alive?" Jack nodded slowly. "Yeah. I had hoped for that for a long time and when I saw you…" He trailed off, remembering what her aunt had said.

"So I look like her?" Sara stated plainly. Jack looked up at her and nodded. "You're practically her twin. Would you like to see a picture?" Sara nodded and Jack reached into his pocket to pull out his wallet.

He opened it up and pulled a picture out of one of the pockets. It was a picture of four people. One person was Jack. There was also Ann and the boy that Sara had seen the other night. And then there was another girl.

She was a girl who would look exactly like Sara, if it weren't for her hair. Instead of black and green, like Sara had, it was brown and blonde.

Sara gasped slightly and pulled back as if she had been hit. Jack looked up at her quizzically. "She looks just like me!" Sara cried softly.

Jack's eyes narrowed. "Tell me, Sara. Did you ever have brown hair?" It was a question that normally Sara would have no problem with but this time her eyes widened. "I… yes. My hair used to be brown and…"

"Your bangs were blonde?" Jack finished softly. Sara looked up at him and nodded slowly. "Yes…"

Jack's breath came in short and he got dizzy. "It's not possible…" He whispered quietly. "You're right. It's not." Sara stated just as quietly. "I mean, my parents lived in California! How is it possible that I could be this… Karen?"

Jack looked back up at her, his vision blurring slightly as forgotten tears sprang back to life. "Do you remember anything about your parents? Anything?" Sara didn't answer but her expression gave it all away. She didn't have a sliver of a memory.

"But why would my aunt hide this from me? If I was Karen, I mean." She wondered out loud. Jack sighed, "I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong! Maybe it's just some cosmic coincidence!"

Sara looked at him quizzically. "You don't even believe that." She stated plainly. Jack sighed again. "No. I don't. But it's just… how is it possible? I mean, Karen died! Now that I think about it, I must have been crazy to even think it in the first place!"

Sara put a hand on his shoulder. "Stop it. You aren't crazy! You loved her a lot! I can't believe you're taking this so calmly!"

Jack gently pulled her hand off his shoulder and stood. "I need to get to work. Make yourself at home. I'll be back… soon."

Jack rode Thunder as fast as he could towards the mountain. Tears streamed down his cheeks and onto his clothes and Thunder's chestnut fur.

He took the sharp corners up the mountain as fast as he dared. Faster than he had ever taken them before. He no longer cared about the danger. He cared about very little at that moment.

Thunder's hoofs slipped slightly on the loose dirt, but he held fast and together, the two stormed across the wooden bridge.

Jack finally stopped the tired horse in front of the church. He swung off Thunder and landed onto the cobblestone pathway that led into the building of God.

The doors to the church swung open and Jack walked into slowly, as if every step was heavier and heavier. The look on his face supported that.

"Pastor?" He called our hoarsely. There was no answer. "Pastor Carter!" There was silence.

Jack sighed heavily and walked up to the pulpit. Once he reached the edge of the raised platform, he fell to his knees, ignoring the sharp pain that shot up his legs and hips, and let loose a loud wail that would have made even the strongest person wince.

"God!" He cried loudly. "Why is this happening to me? Haven't I been tortured enough in my life? First my mother then Karen! And now… now this! Why do you dangle this bit of hope in front of my face? Am I a cat?! Am I destined for pain all my life? If that is so, just let me die! God, I'd… I'd rather die than go through this again! I can't lose her again, God!"

Jack sat at the altar for what seemed to be a long time, just weeping. Finally, after about an hour, he stood and turned around only to fall back onto the platform in surprise.

There, standing right in front of him, was a large man. The man was clothed in white robes that seemed to shine with an unearthly light. He was maybe eight feet tall and he was well built.

His skin seemed to glow with the same light as his clothes, and to look into his face was nearly impossible because of the brightness of the light.

Jack trembled at the sight of the man and it took him a long time to find his voice. Finally, he managed to utter a quiet, "W—who are you?"

The man looked down at him and Jack was forced to look away from the blinding light. "My name is of no importance. " He began. "I am a messenger from the Lord of Hosts and I bring a message to you."

Jack stiffened. "Is this… real?" He reached out tentatively and touched the man's arm. The second his fingertips touched the shining arm, a shock flowed into his arm and he jerked his hand back. Not in pain, but just in surprise.

The man, an angel, looked down at Jack's hand and he reached out to touch it as well. This time, the touch did not shock Jack but it caused a strange warmth to spread throughout him. Comfort and courage coursed through Jack's veins and the former fear and pain were replaced by the strength that only God could give.

"Listen to what the Lord your God has to say." The angel said suddenly after removing his hand from Jack's arm. "My son, I have heard your prayers and they will be answered. But be patient and wait on Me. Just trust me and see my wonders. You will love again. But until you do, keep following me."

Jack rode Thunder down the mountain much more slowly and safely. Instead of the sound of thunder when he crossed the bridge, there was just the familiar clip-clop sound of hooves on wooden.

"I will love again? What… what does that mean?" He whispered to himself during the ride. "Will I fall in love with someone else? But I don't…" He sighed heavily and smiled softly. "You're will be done, God. Whatever you have for me, I'm sure it's far greater than anything I could ever have by my own strength."

The ride home went by quickly and soon Jack was entering his farm. He rode Thunder towards his house but he was stopped short by a voice behind him.

"Jack! Hey, Jack!" He winced at Erica's voice, but he decided against being rude and he stopped Thunder and climbed off him.

Erica ran up to him and stopped just a meter or two from him. "Jack! How are you doing? I've been hearing some strange rumors flying around town… something about a plane crashing in your field!"

Jack smirked. "Yeah, the rumor's true. A small plane crashed into my field, taking out a large number of corn stalks. One person is dead, one is injured, and the other two are fine."

She put a hand to her mouth. "D—Dead?" She asked tentatively. Jack nodded. "Yes, and from what I hear, the mayor and some others came by sometime yesterday to pick up the body."

Erica winced and she decided against continuing the conversation. Instead, she decided to ask him about the other rumor.

"So, who are the two people?" Jack heard her say quietly, as if she didn't actually want to ask.

He opened his mouth to reply, but he was cut short by the sound of a door opening behind him.

"God, Aunt Patrice! What is your problem? I'm an adult! What is wrong with taking a walk through town?" Sara yelled angrily back into the house before slamming the door shut and walking out into Jack's yard.

She stopped when she saw Jack and Erica looking at her though. "What are you two staring at?" She demanded.

Jack nearly burst into laughter at Sara's anger. They're so much alike…

Erica's eyes widened. She, just as the rest of the villagers had seen Jack's picture of Karen. She had seen it more than most too. And this… this woman looked just like her!

"J—Jack? Is she…?" She asked quietly. Jack turned to her and smiled. "Erica, meet Sara Dickens." And in a quieter voice that Sara could not hear, he added, "Better known as Karen Roberts."