Chapter 8: Questions Without Answers

Cliff's voice caught in his throat and tears burned at his eyes, which were wide with… with… just about every emotion Cliff could bring to the surface at the moment.

His mind had practically shut down. It wasn't prepared for this. Never in a million years would he have ever imagined that he'd see someone who was dead come back to life again. He knew it happened, but he never thought that he'd see it, much less be the one used to make it happen.

His eyes simply locked on John Carter's eyes, which never left Cliff's. Then Carter slowly smiled. "I guess I have some more material for sermons now, huh?"

Cliff choked back a sob and tried to hug Carter, who was still laying flat in the basket. He didn't have much luck, so he decided to help the man up and embrace him after.

He did just that. And now, any people who didn't realize that Carter lived knew now. Including a certain black haired girl who had green bangs.

Karen's face went pale. It had reason to as well! After all, it's not every day that you see your own cousin raise someone from the dead!

Yet there Karen was, watching from a distance as her cousin Cliff helped an older man out of a casket.

It's a trick! They must have set me up or something! Or… or… Jack's wide eyes and his open mouth told her that was not the case.

"Oh God…" Jack said softly. Gotz just nodded slowly in agreement. Karen paled as Cliff began leading the man, who was a little wobbly on his feet, over to them.

He was worried that some of the people would rush toward Cliff and Carter to do whatever is was they'd do, but most of them actually stayed back. He knew it wouldn't last though.

"John!" Jack suddenly yelled before running at the two and enveloping them both in a bear hug. "I can't believe you've alive!"

"Yes… praise God. Praise Him indeed." Carter said softly in reply. He watched as Gotz came over to them, a huge grin on his face.

"You just couldn't stay dead, could you?" He said heartily, already over the initial surprise. "And you're not the only one either! John Carter, meet Karen Roberts, my daughter!"

Cliff stumbled and ended up letting go of Carter. He had Jack to help him anyway. But even if he didn't, it wouldn't have made a difference to Cliff. His eyes were on Sara… no, his eyes were on Karen!

"Kar… Kar…" He stuttered, tears springing once again to his eyes. Karen just gave him her trademark smirk and when Cliff saw this he rushed forward and hugged her tightly, silently thanking God the entire time.

"Well… It's kind of hard to explain what it was like. I can remember… I can remember…" Jonathan Carter said slowly, contemplating the answer. "I can remember nothing at all, but at the same time I can remember everything."

"What do you mean?" Ann pressed. She looked to Karen and winked. I have been praying for this ever since she left! I can't believe she's finally back! And add John to that and… She sighed happily.

"I was at Heaven's gates, Ann. I don't know how I know I was though. I know I saw them, but I can't remember a single detail. I saw the angel at the gates, but I can't remember what he looked like. I saw…" His voice cracked and a wistful smile formed on his face. "I saw God… I truly did! But I can't remember any details…"

Everyone that was huddled around the table gasped in surprise and they began talking excitedly. All but Karen, who just locked her eyes on Carter probingly. The pastor's eyes locked on her own and Karen found herself scowling and looking away. Those eyes seemed to pierce right into her very soul.

They were all seated in the newly opened café of Flowerbud Village. Christians who decided that the bar wasn't the greatest place to hang out had opened it a few months before.

Nearly every person that had been at the funeral, plus quite a few more stood around in the café, listening to Carter and Karen as they recounted what they remembered about their respective 'demises'. Karen had finished talking a while ago (interrupted many times by old friends that rushed in, seeing if she was really back), and then Carter had taken over the conversation.

"Praise God… praise God." Jack said quietly from beside her, having completely ignored her since Carter had begun speaking, an action that Karen resented.

Her eyes hardened and she sighed heavily as she saw her own parents giving Carter their complete attention, hardly even realizing that Karen sat in the room.

Karen scowled once more before rising from her seat and walking towards the door to the entrance. She heard some of the conversations go quiet and she smiled in satisfaction that she had finally gotten some of their attention.

"Karen?" She heard Jack ask. She stopped but didn't turn to face him.

"I'm going for a walk. Too stuffy in here." She replied coolly, before grabbing the door handle. Suddenly, the door flew open from the outside, pulling Karen into the man who had opened it so suddenly.

He had a mask of anger, frustration, and disappointment plainly shown on his face. Pastor Brown had come to see if the rumors were true. He came to see if Jonathan Carter, the man who had been killed thanks to Brown and his poison, was really alive again.

That all changed when he had seen Karen slam into him roughly, sending them both a few steps back. His look of disappointment changed to confusion and then to joy.

"Karen?" He cried, unable to hide the elation in his voice. Her scowl changed as well and she grinned.

"Pastor Brown!" She embraced her old mentor and friend tightly. He returned the hug.

"I thought you were…"

"Dead? No, I uh… I had amnesia actually. I ended up in Flowerbud because of a plane crash and—"

"You were in that terrible crash a week ago?" Brown interrupted incredulously. Karen just nodded.

"Anyway… while I was here, I ended up regaining my memories!" She finished with a smile. Pastor Brown just smiled but then he saw someone behind Karen.

"So… the rumors are true." He said softly, not bothering to mask the contempt in his voice.

Pastor John Carter simply looked at him coolly. "They were never rumors, Pastor Brown."

"Yes, well, welcome back…" Brown said before turning and walking away, not even bothering to glance at Karen again.

"Brown." Carter said sternly, causing the other man to look back at him. "Can your Goddess raise someone from the dead? And if she could, would she?" Without even replying, the other pastor walked on.

Karen sent Carter a look of resentment and walked out of the village, heading toward the mountain.

It was peaceful in the forest. So very peaceful. The birds sang cheerfully, oblivious to all the strife in the village and in Karen's life alone. Oblivious… What Karen wouldn't give to be oblivious at the moment.

But that was impossible. She was not Sara anymore. She was Karen. With every single memory. With every emotion. With every character trait. With every confusion…

And that confusion was on Karen's mind at the moment. She'd like to deny that Carter had ever been dead. She'd like to say it was all a big joke. But it wasn't. He even had a certificate of death! Carter had plans to post that up in his church sanctuary, just as a reminder of God's power. Karen knew that Flowerbud wasn't some third world country. Even though they were a little old fashioned in some things, they weren't so primitive to mistake a live man for a dead one!

"But dead men don't raise from the dead…" said Karen with a whisper.

"You're right." said a voice behind her, causing Karen to jump and turn around. Behind her calmly stood Popuri. "Dead men don't just raise from the dead. It defies all human logic. It's not possible."

Karen watched Popuri as she knelt down and picked up a flower. She promptly crushed it in her hand and then tore it to shreds. She left the pieces drop to the ground where she promptly stepped on it, twisting her foot, destroying what was left of it.

"Can I take this flower home and plant it, Karen? Can I water it and give it sunlight? If I did so, would it grow back and live again?" she asked, gauging Karen's reaction.

"No! You can't! And that's my—"

"Point?" Popuri finished. Karen nodded slowly. "So…" The pink-haired girl said before sitting on a log. "What happened?"

Karen sighed heavily and sat beside her. "I don't know… I just don't know."

"So why do you doubt what we say? If you have not even the slightest clue on how or why it happened, why ignore our explanation which is a lot more plausible than he, or a flower, coming back to life spontaneously."

Karen fell silent, not sure how to answer that. Finally, she tried to muster up a reply. "I guess… I guess I don't see a reason for God or even any deity to exist."

"Well, I don't see a reason for hatred to exist. I think that AIDS is useless. Murder doesn't have a reason either. But you know what? They exist. Just because there's no reason isn't relevant.

"And you also have to take into account the fact that you see no reason for God to exist from your point of view. To me or Jack or Cliff or just the average Joe, God existing means everything! We see hundreds of reasons for God to exist! Is your opinion on the matter worth a lot more than ours?" Popuri said softly, looking straight into Karen's eyes.

Karen found herself unable to look at Popuri's eyes and she turned away, a scowl forming on her face. "That's not what I'm trying to say. Not at all. And I know that just because I don't see a reason doesn't hold much relevance! But it's just…" She frowned and sighed heavily. "Where's the proof?"

Much to Karen's surprise Popuri just laughed. She laughed! Karen glared at her. "What are you laughing about?" she demanded.

Popuri chuckled some more and then she grew serious again. "Remember earlier today, Karen? A man who was dead is now talking up a storm in the local café. What more proof do you want?"

Karen's scowl deepened and she found herself unable to answer. "And that's not all! Look at your father. Look at me! We're completely different than what we used to be! Our very hearts have been changed in an instant! Sure, it's not that way with everybody. For some it takes weeks to even months to change fully! But for some… like your dad or me, the change happened immediately. What caused that change, Karen?"

The black haired girl looked straight at Popuri and nearly spat as she said the next words. "I don't know! Okay?! I have no clue!"

Popuri winced slightly at Karen's malice but she continued. "So why are you still running? You have no idea, yet we seem to carry the answers. What are you looking for, Karen? Love? Fulfillment? A good time? Happiness? Joy? Freedom?"

"Maybe I'm not looking for anything." Karen replied flatly, obviously not wanting to talk about it anymore.

Popuri obviously didn't catch the hint or she just didn't care because she continued. "Then why are you letting the whole thing bother you so much? Why are you going on the defensive?" Karen didn't answer, but instead just stared straight ahead. Popuri sighed and rose to her feet. "Think about it, Karen. And find out what you're looking for." She walked away in the direction of town, leaving Karen alone.

"Am I searching?" She asked herself quietly.

It was Erica who approached Karen next. "Hey." She said quietly as she sat next to Karen.

Karen jumped and then looked at Erica. She scowled. "What do you want?" Erica shrugged and looked in the direction that Karen was looking in.

"What are you doing just sitting here? I figured you'd be with Jack or something." She asked looking back at Karen. The other girl didn't answer. "Thinking about that earlier today?"

Karen groaned loudly and sighed. "Why does everybody want to talk about it? And why does everybody want to talk to me about it?"

"Well, you're the only one who saw it in person who saw it in person that doesn't believe now. You're the only person who's seen Carter that doesn't believe now…" Erica said quietly, a smile slowly appearing on her face.

Karen looked at her strangely and then she realized what Erica was implying. "You became a Christian, didn't you?" She asked, already knowing the answer. Erica's smile grew and she shook her head vigorously. "I'm so happy for you." Karen said sarcastically.

Erica bit her lip and looked away for a second. "I'm sorry about everything, Karen. I know it may have seemed like I was trying to take Jack from you and I know that I should have never done some of the things I did… or at least tried to do. I haven't made your life easy since you came back."

Karen looked away, her bottom lip trembling. This couldn't be happening to her. Seconds ago, Karen hated Erica's guts and now… now Erica was changing that. It's all happening too fast… just too fast. Karen told herself before steeling herself and looking back at Erica. "Whatever, Erica. Don't worry about it."

Erica nodded slowly and exhaled slowly, becoming relaxed. "If you don't mind my asking," she started. "What's holding you back?"

"I do mind you asking." Karen said coldly before rising to her feet and taking a few steps away. Erica's voice stopped her.

"Why are you running?" That was the second time Karen had been asked that question that day. The first time she didn't have an answer. She didn't have one now either.

"I'm not running from anything." Karen replied coolly before walking away.