Void
Two: Nightmares
The brightly shining sun mirrored the exact opposite of the atmosphere surrounding Kaede's hut. Not too far away, a young kitsune sat in the lap of a strangely dressed miko, and both were sullen, though the miko hid it behind optimism, and the kitsune asked questions she couldn't answer.
"Kagome, will Sango be okay?" Shippou asked tearfully. Although he showered Kagome with affection, and enjoyed sleeping next to her on her bedroll, he really did love the demon exterminator, because she was kind hearted, and protected him. Seeing her lying silently on her front, covered in bandages truly broke his heart.
She gave him a reassuring smile, and stroked the auburn mass of hair on the kitsune's head. "You know how strong Sango-chan is, right Shippou?" He nodded slowly. "Then you know that she'll recover, and be better than ever."
He still looked somewhat unconvinced when he heard this, which was strange. "Why does she look so sad then, Kagome, why won't she smile at me? How come she won't even say anything to us!" The kitsune began to wail, and Kagome had to gather him up in an embrace, patting his small back comfortingly.
When his crying had subsided, she placed him back into her lap. "Sango just needs a little more time to heal, after that, I'm sure she'll be fine. It's a pretty deep wound, remember that Shippou," Kagome explained. "Just forgive Sango-chan for not speaking to us, she hasn't told any one what happened since she was injured." The kit reflected upon this, and fidgeted into a more comfortable position on the miko's lap. He closed his eyes, perhaps in contemplation, or maybe to nap, but he looked up at Kagome once more, hopefully. "Do you think I would have been able to help?"
She smiled. "Yes Shippou-chan, we really needed you back there." He grinned in brief self-satisfaction. "Then next time don't run off and leave me here. I was bored!" With that, he rolled over and his face was no longer visible.
'I don't know if any of us will be able to help,' Kagome thought sadly. She glanced at Inuyasha, who was worrying about Sango in his own way, atop a tree, sulking, head back, eyes closed. 'It's not just the injury,' she speculated, ' it's the nature of the injury.' Her gaze focused on Miroku, who was sitting a distance away with a small Kirara, his back to her.
'I could sense that he was there too, along with Naraku. Sango met with Kohaku-kun.'
*
The pain in her back had subsided to a dull ache, occasionally becoming numb, and then unexpectedly painful once again. True to the kitsune's story, Sango hadn't spoken so much as a coherent sentence since being taken back to the village to recuperate, save for a few ragged breaths when her wound was being treated.
She knew that she would have to explain soon, it was inevitable. They would want to know everything, and were being politely patient in waiting for her to recover, however Sango knew better. Most likely, it was eating away at their insides, and more than once, Kagome had to subdue Inuyasha for becoming frustrated at Sango's reluctance to tell them anything.
Propping her elbows on the ground, she rested her chin in her palms. When Kaede had left her to sleep, she found herself staring emptily into a corner. Every time she closed her eyes and attempted to force sleep on herself, a thick fog would cloud her mind and she heard the same silk-laced voice, taunting her, maddening her.
Her eyes would fly open, and droplets of sweat would be building on her temples. She would be clutching her blanket so tightly that the veins on her wrists were raised.
She would dream of him, her brother, or more accurately, what was left of him, a body with his appearance. In her dreams, he would charge at her, swinging his weapon in offense. Her heart would pound in adrenaline, and she would find herself unable to move. At this point in her nightmare, she would see a limp male body fall on the ground in front of her, a scythe skewered into his back.
She would see herself cry out and fall on her knees, her mouth open in silent screams. She'd crawl to him, apologizing on her behalf, over and over. Her hands became covered in his blood as she wrenched out the blade and threw it, in disgust, at Kohaku's feet. A torrent of tears would spill from her eyes, and as she harshly swiped at them her cheeks were stained in blood as well.
The injured man would be consoling her, comforting her, even as he was gradually slipping away. She would gather him in her arms, and tell him how she had harboured a deep love for him for so long it felt like forever.
Clumsily, she would kiss him and gently brush his hair away from his face. She loved him, and she would die for him. Her fingers pulled at something around his forearm, a mighty wind swirled around her, and she was gone. The sun then rose, her brother lived, and the man was no longer cursed.
'Houshi-sama....'
The questions would plague her every waking moment, and torture her as she slept.
*
As beams of light shone through the cracks between the wood panels that made up the walls of the hut, Sango decided that it was doing her no good to lay around on her front and waste everyone's time. After all, each minute they wasted waiting for her was a minute more for Naraku to plot.
She hoisted herself up on her arms and stood, arching her back gingerly. She wobbled to the doorway and threw back the makeshift cloth that hung there, squinting at the sudden onslaught of sunlight.
Instantly, Kagome was running towards her, yellow bag slung on her back, Shippou bouncing up and down on her shoulder. "Sango-chan! What are you doing?" she demanded, coming to a stop next to her and slinging one of Sango's arms over her shoulder.
"I'm quite alright, Kagome-chan," Sango retorted. "I've been doing nothing but resting since yesterday."
Her friend still looked skeptical. "You should have at least called for one of us first. See? You're all wobbly!" Kagome pointed out, as they began walking down the dirt path towards the river that ran next to the village. Sango shrugged her off. "Of course I'd be unstable on my feet, Kagome-chan, I haven't used them for quite a while. "
Shippou scampered across Kagome's arm and onto Sango's other shoulder. "We're all so worried about you Sango," he exclaimed, nuzzling the side of her head. Sango awkwardly reached her arm up to pat him on the cheek. "I'm sorry for making you all worry, Shippou," she apologized profusely.
Kagome helped Sango sit down shortly before plopping down next to her. She hummed as she took a few of the clear bottles from her time out of her bag. She smiled as she divided them between herself, Sango, and Shippou, and asked that they all fill them up with water from the stream.
Sango felt a warmness towards the young miko for this brief distraction. It was as though she knew that Sango had many troubles on her mind and she needed a distraction. Sango laughed softly as Kagome and Shippou filled Sango in on Inuyasha and Kagome's latest tiff, and the mood was considerably lightened as Sango momentarily pushed her troubles to the back of her mind and engaged in a playful water fight with the miko and the kitsune.
*
After the threesome had returned from the river, Kagome carrying a considerably heavier backpack, they found the remaining members of their group. The hanyou was haughty of course, and muttered remarks about the healing power of humans under his breath. Though, with a look from Kagome, he asked Sango if she was all right to travel.
Miroku was strangely silent, and seemed to be distracted, but when Sango questioned him, he immediately pasted a smile on his face. He held out Kirara to her, who promptly jumped onto her shoulder. "Feeling okay, Sango?" he asked gently. Sango nodded, and managed a smile. "Yes, I'm feeling much better," she answered, then turned to the rest of the group. "I'm ready to travel now, I think."
"About time!" Inuyasha snorted.
"Sit."
*
Surprisingly, no one had pressured her about what caused her injury, though she suspected and concluded that Kagome had spoken to the rest of the group beforehand. 'She is a smart girl,' Sango mused. 'Of course, she sensed a Shikon shard. She probably figured out it was Kohaku.' Still, she was grateful that they knew, yet she was not obliged to relive the event for them.
With a final check by Kaede, and a new roll of bandages applied around Sango's chest, the companions were on their way again. They mostly walked in silence, except for Kagome, who was fussing over a tear on Inuyasha's sleeve. Shippou was hopping over Kirara every few steps behind them, while Miroku observed their game with a smile. Sango had kept to the back of the group. She had been keeping up well at first, but as the late afternoon arrived, she was noticeably lagging behind.
Miroku heard dragging footsteps behind him, and turned around to check on Sango. She was bent down, supporting her hands on her knees, and breathing heavily. He rushed towards her, and put a hand on her upper back. She visibly stiffened, and the relaxed and stood up straight again. "I'm fine, Houshi-sama, " she said nonchalantly, and made to begin walking again. "Wait, Sango." He walked up behind her, and began tugging on the straps of Hiraikotsu.
"Houshi-sama," Sango sputtered, as she was jerked from side to side. "What are you doing?" He succeeded in pulling the heavy bone off her shoulder, and hoisted it onto his own back. "Sango," he said with a smile. "You keep forgetting about yourself. You have a back injury, yet you carry a heavy weapon across it."
He offered her his staff. "You'll find that it's much easier to walk with this."
Sango immediately blushed. "Houshi-sama, why-" she began, but he had already pushed the staff into her grasp, and closed her fingers around it. "That should feel a bit better," he stated, and slowed his pace to walk next to her. She looked away, her face burning. Staring hard at the ground, she spoke. "Thank you, Houshi-sama."
The familiar warm feeling lingered for a while, until the time came that he should do something inappropriate. Naturally, it was only fair that he grope her. Annoyance flitted across her face as she made to slap him, but as he was standing next to her, it was proving difficult. So she moved to her back up plan, which would normally be Hiraikotsu. She became doubly annoyed as he shook the strap holding her weapon around his shoulder playfully. He grinned in victory.
Sango leaned onto his staff, with a mock-defeated look on her face. "You know what, Houshi-sama, " she said menacingly. "I am trained to fight with a staff."
With that, she brought it down on his head.
*
The sun had set, and Shippou, who noticed the effects of fatigue on the humans, had suggested that Inuyasha find a suitable spot to make camp.
Night had soon fallen, and Kagome had settled in her sleeping bag, along with Shippou. Just above them keeping watch sat Inuyasha, clutching his sword to his chest. Miroku was leaning back against a tree, eyes closed, but not asleep. He could hear a distinct shuffling around nearby him, and would not put his mind at ease until it stilled.
That shuffling was Sango, who was having a difficult time finding a comfortable sleeping position. Cradling her head under her arm was proving difficult, because it stretched a still healing muscle in her back. Lying on her back wasn't that comfortable either, for obvious reasons, and when your pillow was a carrying cloth full of armour, lying on your front was even less satisfying.
She sat up frustrated, and shook the contents of the carrying cloth on the ground and placed them a safe distance away. It was then that she heard a disturbance not too far off, and footsteps approaching her.
Miroku kneeled next to her, the fire casting long shadows across his face. "Trouble sleeping, Sango?" he whispered. Sango crossed her arms over her chest, and looked away. "It's just hard finding a nice position on the ground when I have an injury, Houshi-sama," she said stubbornly.
He stayed next to her, and Sango was just about ready to order him away, when she heard the familiar rustle of fabric. "Wh-What are you doing now!" Sango exclaimed. Miroku motioned for her to lower her voice. She attempted to twist her body around to see what he was doing behind her, but it still pained. "Damn," she whispered. "Damn injury."
Miroku straightened up, and swiped his hands together. "There," he said simply. Sango looked at him dumbfounded. "Lie down now," he ordered. She continued looking at him. Sighing, he gently pushed her shoulders down. There was something soft under her back and neck, and she finally felt relaxed. "Now go to sleep," Miroku said passively, and walked away.
Sango turned her head slightly. The fabric was firm, but soft, and smelled greatly of him. Of incense, forest air, and fields after a harsh rain. He must have taken off his kesa again. She stole a glance at his heavily shadowed form. ' Why does he always do such nice things for me? ' Sango pondered. ' Doesn't he think of himself? '
The warmth of the fire and the silence of the night eventually lulled Sango to sleep. It was then that the nightmares returned to her.
*
She was running through the fog again. There was a stitch in her side, and her legs were beginning to ache.
" Sango, if you do it, you will save the lives of those you love."
She kept on running, trying to escape the complacent voice. "I'd save them, but you'd still be alive!"
" What would you rather have Sango, your brother, the monk and myself alive? Or would you rather me alive, and both of them dead?"
"I'd rather you dead! You, and only you!"
"You'll never defeat me."
"We will! All of us will!"
"Spare more time for the worthless lives of the monk and your brother."
"We have enough time!"
"Do you?"
She stopped running, and fell to her knees in angry tears.
"Your life is worthless, Sango."
'My life is...'
She punched the dirt, and cried out in frustration.
*
Silently, Sango sat up from her spot and stood. Her eyes were still half lidded, but her hands were shaking. She turned towards Miroku, who was now soundly asleep, and her breath caught in her throat. Her feet forced themselves to stagger to him, and oddly, they barely made a sound.
She continued to breathe deeply. Her mind was unfocused and was not able to tell the reality of the situation from the events of her dream. This man that I love, he was seriously hurt, by Kohaku. I can't let it happen again. She fell to her knees, still in a mindless stupor, but the Sango in the waking world violently shed tears like the counterpart contained in her nightmare.
Inuyasha was now awake and running towards them as Sango reached towards Miroku's hand. 'What the hell?' he thought. His eyes widened as he took a few steps back from them. He opened his mouth to curse at the both of them.
In one fluid motion, Sango's eyes opened fully and she took in a breath sharply as she seized Miroku's forearm and yanked forcefully at the sky blue chain of rosary beads.
His eyes opened instantly as the rosary unravelled from around his wrist and thrown a good distance away. He took in the small hand grasping his arm tightly, the trembling shoulders of Sango, her other arm letting the rosary beads fly from her fingers. Her eyes were bloodshot from tears, and her teeth were grinding together in frustration. But there was something he couldn't quite place.
Sango locked eyes with him momentarily, then began to pry his fingers apart from the tight fist he held them in. He realized in horror what would happening, and shut his fist tightly. Sango faltered, and he reached for her with his other hand and grasped her wrist tightly. She recoiled as he pushed his weight against her, and brought both his forearms across her chest.
Kagome, Shippou and Kirara had all awakened by now, and were looking on fearfully at the situation. Inuyasha stood over them, unsure of what to do.
Sango fell heavily onto her back, and Miroku pressed his forearms down, pinning her in place.
"Sango," he gasped, his voice growing hoarse with panic and desperation.
"What the hell did you think you were doing!" he continued, emphasizing each word by shaking her shoulders with his arms, pushing her into the dirt. 'I can't be so rough,' he chastised himself. 'She's still injured, however-'
"Answer me!" he demanded. "Sango!"
Sango's eyes glazed over, and then became clear. "Houshi-sama?"
"What the hell is going on?" Miroku demanded. He was clearly angry, his voice rising in tone with every syllable.
"What the fuck were you doing!" There were tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.
They dropped heavily onto her cheeks, and she began to cry as well. "I'm sorry," she cried. "I'm so sorry."
He looked at her harshly. "Did you know what you were doing?" He berated her in frustration.
She turned her head away from him. "You don't understand," she whispered. "I don't even understand."
Miroku became confused at these words. "Understand what? Sango, what is there to understand!"
____________________*
This was supposed to be a short chapter, but it ended up as pretty long and pretty heavy. I was originally going to end it at "What the hell did you think you were doing," but it wrote itself from there, the only problem was that the ending now ended up kind of stupid. Oh, and everyone is OOC, and my vocabulary sucks, and there's a million other things I'll probably find later on the re-read, but that's life. I think I should mention that the night before I started this chapter, I watched the episode "That Unforgettable Face," and the whole 'Sango holding the rosary beads and gripping Miroku's arm' bit was inspired from the 'I'm going to kill Kohaku and then kill myself' scene. I guess that'll help you imagine it. Okay, I'm sounding dumber as I go on. Until next!
Void: Nightmares uploaded and revised March 28th 2004