Disclaimer: CCS characters belong to CLAMP.

Just Maybe

AN: This is the fanfic written for twisted-sheets (it's a mission during our app period).

This takes place after Meilin and Shaoran's engagement was broken and before they came back to Japan in the second movie. Please R&R!

Pairing: Shaoran/Meilin, Shaoran/Sakura

Meilin's POV

I can still remember that night. The night when you told me you loved her. I remember the pain I felt then. My chest hurt. A lot.

When you were telling me you liked Kinomoto, I tried hard to stop the tears from falling. I succeeded in doing so, at least in front of you. I didn't want you to see me in a state of weakness. I didn't want you to see me cry. I am a warrior. I am supposed to be strong. Yet, I broke down. Funny how your simple words could shatter me into pieces, when I have endured countless blows from stray Clow Cards.

That afternoon, when Daidouji told me, "if something should happen, always remember that I'm always here for you1," I knew that something was about to happen. I didn't know what, but my instincts told me that that involved the two of us. I guess my instincts really were sharp, especially that time.

To tell you the truth, I feared the day when you will find someone else. I knew from the start that you never treated me as your special someone, and perhaps you never would. But of course, I had set that uneasy feeling aside. I tried and tried to make you look at me. To love me as I love you. But, no matter how hard I tried, you never noticed me. I was just an annoying cousin to you, nothing more, nothing less. A special cousin maybe, but still just a cousin. I never thought that the day I feared the most would happen. Too soon.

I ran and ran, thinking of the only person who could hear me out, Daidouji. I knocked on her door, and she knew immediately that it was me. She knew that I would be hurt too badly, so she prepared herself to help me. That's when I broke down. I cried and cried on Daidouji's lap, even wetting her pretty dress, but she didn't mind. She just listened to me. I let it all out. How much I love you, how I couldn't bring myself to hate Kinomoto, and how much I wanted to cry and cry. I couldn't recall how long I cried on her lap. When I settled down a bit, she led me to the guestroom, and told me to rest. I laid down on the comfortable bed and cried myself to sleep.

The next morning, I was to leave for Hong Kong. I asked Wei if my eyes were still swollen. I just didn't want to look ugly in front of you one last time I see you as my fiancé. I bid goodbye to my beloved Shaoran.

The next time we saw each other after that, we met as cousins. I learned to accept the fact that you would never love me in another way. Your mother broke our engagement (maybe because she liked Kinomoto2), but it didn't matter to me anymore. Even if our engagement weren't broken, you'd still like Kinomoto, not me. Who knows, maybe you'd even rebel against Auntie just to be with her.

I wish I could find a Shaoran in another boy. I know, that's impossible. But maybe, just maybe…

I'll find a boy who'll love just me.

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1 They're not the exact words, but that's what she meant.

2 In Movie 1, Shaoran's mother takes a liking to Sakura.