"Just pedal. I'm goin' to let go after I push you. All you have to do is pedal"

She turns and looks at me worry in her small eyes. "What if I fall?"

"Would I let you fall?" I ask her. "C'mon give it a try Budgie."

She licks her bottom lip and stares at me. "Brendan..."

"You wanna learn to ride a two-wheeler right?"

She nods. "Yea, the kids make fun of me 'cause of the training wheels."

"Well then okay, this is how you learn. Sure you may fall a few times, but then you get back on the bike and try again." I tell her.

She looks forward, towards the end of the block. I can tell she's thinking about wanting to do this or not. She takes a deep breath. "O-okay." She replied softly putting her feet on to the pedals. "I'm ready."

I slap the top of her helmet. "That's what I wanna hear." I grab hold to the back of her seat, one hand on her back. "Okay ready?"

"Ready?" She replied, I can tell she's eager.

I start running and she started pedaling. "Okay, I'm goin' to let go now." I tell her smiling. I knew she could do it.

"Brendan no!" She cries out.

"Trust me." Stopping I let go of the seat, she has no idea that she's riding on her own.

"Don' let go! Please don' let go." I hear her yell. "Don't let go Brendan." She turns around and sees I had already let go. Looking forward, she struggles to keep in control of the bike, before falling into the grass a few feet later.

I run to her side. "You okay?"

She looks up at me smiling. "I did it. I really did. I rode a two-wheeler Brendan." She stands up pulling the bike with her. "I want try again." She tells me, a huge smile on her face, her green eyes shinning.

"You did. See I tol' you, that you could do it." I smile down at her. It's rare you see her smile anymore. "Sure c'mon let's go."

"Maybe we can show Daddy, maybe he'll be proud of me an' won't spank me." There's hope in her voice.

I never thought a six year old words could make me so sick, but they did. She wanted him to be proud of her, so he wouldn't hurt her. I swallow. "We'll see when he comes home. He's gets off work, real late. You'll be in bed."

"Okay," she climbs back on to her bike, "I'm ready."

"Okay, feet on the pedals and were off." I say, running with her, before giving her a final push and letting her go.

-------------

I open the door, allowing her into my apartment. "It's kinda small, but I'm the only one who stays here." I close the door behind us. "If you want to take a shower there are towels under the sink, and plenty of shampoo and stuff in the shower itself. Most of it's the type for men though."

She shakes her head. "It's fine," she turns, "thanks for letting me stay." Her eyes wander the room. "I don' care what it smells like. I just want to shower. You have no idea how long it's been."

"What do you want on your pizza?" I ask.

She's still looking around. "Cheese, that's all. Can we get some bread sticks?" She asks.

A smile crosses my lips. Something's will never change. "Cheese pizza, and bread sticks." I pull out a flyer for a local pizza joint and dial the number.

I watch her walk over to my entertainment center, she takes a picture of our mother into her hand. "How is she? Mom?"

"Good. She'd love to see you." I tell her.

She stares at the picture a little longer. "I - I don' know Brendan. Dad, if she tells him."

I tell her to hang on, as I quickly order the pizza, once I'm finished I hang up. "I can have Mom, come over. Invite her for dinner. Budgie you're her baby, you have no idea how she misses you. How she cried when she left."

She looks at me. "I'm scared Brendan, if he finds me, "there's a pause as a few tears fall down her cheeks, "I didn't mean to make Mom cry. You believe me right?" She turns to me. "I jus' couldn't live like that Brendan. You left for the weekend. An' Dad; well he was Dad. The more I'd beg him to stop the more he'd hit me. It hurt so bad, it really hurt. Next day he went to work, I tol' Mom I was goin' out with some friends. I never came home."

"I know, I looked for you. I looked for hours days. Until now I was still looking for you. I never gave up." I looked at her. "Dad looked for you too you know." I knew it wouldn't help and after a week he gave up.

"I knew I was probably goin' to leave that weekend. I jus' knew it. I wanted to wait until you came home, but you'd try and stop me."

"I was goin' to get a place Budgie. I even had a down payment. I was goin' to get you out of there." I tell her softly. I think it was an attempt to make her feel better. If not her, maybe myself.

She bites down on her bottom lip. "It would been too late Brendan, Dad would have killed me. It would have been too late." She sighs kissing my cheek. "I'm gunna take a shower, okay."

"Hold on," I say hurrying into my bedroom, I pull out some sweats, "here, fresh clothes."

"Thanks Brendan." She says bundling up the sweats in her arms.

"Don't worry about it.". I say walking to the couch, I sit down closing my eyes just as I hear the shower on.

-------------

"You're going to learn young lady. Not too touch stuff that doesn't belong to you." My father pulls Bridget by arm.

"Daddy, I didn't mean too. I'm sorry." She cries out. "I'm sorry."

I follow, hoping maybe I can stop him. Do something. Even though deep down inside I knew there was nothing I could do. Other then killing him, which would make matters worse.

He leads her into the kitchen. "When are you going to learn to do things right?" He asks her. "You got to stop being so stupid."

Tears fill her eyes. "Daddy I'm sorry."

I knew sorry wasn't going to help. It Never did. There were no "I'm sorry" with my dad.

He pulls a kettle of boiling water he had on the stove, takes her and the kettle over to the sink.

"Dad! NO!" I finally spoke up. I couldn't let him do what he was going to do. It wasn't right. I don't care what she did. It was bad enough for that to happen.

He puts the kettle down, still holding on to my sister. He walks over to me. "You should go."

"Dad, don't please. Ground her or something, but don't do that." I look down at her, she's trembling with fear.

"Brendan, go." He says.

I stay not moving. "No." I figured the longer I try and fight with him, the madder he would get at me, and turn his rage on to me. So I hoped.

It didn't work. I watched him pull out his cuffs, cuffing my sister to the chair. He started towards me, and as soon as he was close enough he started slapping me.

"You know not to talk back to me." He yells. Slapping me some more. I can taste the blood on my lip.

"I'm not going to let you do what you were planning. You can't."

He only hits me harder. "I'm her father, I can do what I want. Do you want her to be a whore, just like your mother. I brought her into this world and if I want too, I can take her out."

Taking my sister out of this world, wasn't going to be a problem for him, if he kept doing, what he had been doing. "My mothers not a whore, an' neither is Bridget. She's six for crying out loud." He gets his hands around my neck chocking me. It hurts, but I don't want to give him the satisfaction of me crying. He only chokes me harder.

"She's got to learn at sometime." He finally lets go of me. I fall to the floor gasping for air. I'm thinking he's done. But the blows to my ribs proves he's not. He keeps beating me.

Finally he stopped, leaving me in excruciating pain on the living room floor, as I gasped for air. I could hear him in the kitchen, as he took the cuffs off of her. I could hear her crying.

"Give me your hands." I her his angered voice.

"D-daddy."

"Now." He yells louder.

I begin to stand in to my feet, to go into the kitchen and try and stop it. But hearing her painful screams I knew I was too late.

He walks out of the kitchen as stops in front of me. "Now she'll think twice before touching something that doesn't belong to her." He continued walking and up the stairs to his room.

I cursed him under my breath, words a son shouldn't call his father, but hearing my sister cry I couldn't help myself. I finally made my way into the kitchen, where Bridget sat on the floor, curled into a ball. Her small hands were red, and blistered. Some skin was falling off of them. It scared me. I had never seen anything so gross in my life. "Budgie."

"B-Brendan," she's crying, her small body is shaking, "it hurts." She looks up at me. "Make it stop."

I pick her up in my arms, sticking her hands under cool water, doing my best to cool the burns down. I had to get her to the hospital. "It's okay, I'm gunna help." I carried her in my arms. "What didja you touch?" I asked. "That made Dad so mad?"

The tears roll down her cheeks, soaking the front of my shirt as she lay against me. "Daddy's new badge, I was going to make it shiny for him."

"It'll be okay now, okay Budgie. We're gunna go to Mrs. Murphy's now. It'll be okay." It made me sick to think a father did this to his own child. When his own child was going to do something nice for him.

-------------

"Brendan! Brendan!"

"What? What! Budgie you okay?" My voice asked her in an alarmed tone.

"Yea, fine. The pizza's here." She's looking at me oddly.

"Oh, here." I hand her a twenty. "Tell him to keep the change." I tell her, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I hold the twenty out, and stare at her scared right hand. Evidence of the burns still there.

Slowly she reaches and takes it from me. "Okay, you alright?"

"Yeah fine." I reply.

"Sure?"

I nod. "Positive Budgie."

"If you say so." She heads to the door, giving him the money and taking the pizza from him.

"It smells so good." She smiled putting the box down on the coffee table. "I'm so hungry. You know how long it's been since I had hot pizza."

I don't answer. I'm sure it's been pretty long. By how skinny she was, how tired she looked. I head into the kitchen, getting two plates and some soda, before heading back into the living room.

She bits into the pizza, some of the cheese falling off her chin. She swallows. "Oh my God, Brendan. This pizza is incredible."

"Glad you like it, I've only ordered from them twice before. Guess I should keep ordering."

"It's seriously good pizza." She smiled washing it down with some soda.

"So I was thinkin' you can have my bed tonight, The other bedroom is small and filled with junk. But I can clean it out this weekend, we can go get you a futon."

She looks at me for a few minuets, chewing on some more pizza. "Where will you sleep?" She asks swallowing the pizza.

"I can take the couch for now, it's no problem. I sleep on the couch more then my bed anyways. So it's no difference."

"Only if your sure." She replied.

I hand her some paper towels. "Yea, I'm sure."

She looks at me. "What 'bout Mom. I mean I'd like to see her, I really would. I miss her, but if dad were to find out."

"I'll call her tonight an' see what I can do. I'll invite her for dinner." I suggest. "Or we'll go somewhere. You want to do that?"

"Make sure dad is workin'. He's not goin' to let her out of the house other wise." She tells me. "We can try, whatever works best and as long as Dad doesn't know."

"I know." I reply nodding. "I'll figure it out, okay. Don' worry 'bout it Budgie."

She finishes her slice of pizza, grabbing another one. I don't think I had ever seen my sister chow down on three pieces of pizza, especially ones this big. "You like bein' a cop?" She asks me.

"Sure why not." I reply. I did like it, I only worked my whole life for it, but sometimes I wasn't sure if I was meant for the job.

"All that stupid shootin' practice at the range, you use that shit yet?" I hear the anger in her voice. She hated that range more then anything.

I pause before answering, not sure if I want to tell her the truth. "Yea, actually I used it a few weeks ago. This junkie, he had a gun to a paramedics he. So I shot him."

"Really. Where?"

"In the head." I matter-of-factly reply.

She just stares at me. "You killed a guy?" Her face is unmoved.

"Yea." I really didn't feel comfortable talking about this with her.

"Wow, that's..."

I cut her off. "-Pretty fucked up I know. The old man, he was proud. Real proud."

"Least one of us can make him proud, huh. I was never able to do it. No matter what, it was never good enough. I was never good enough him. I was shit in his eyes. The same shit he would scrape off his shoes and toss into the trash. I was better off dead."

"Budgie, no that's not true." I look at her and I can see the pain in her eyes. I see what all the years of abuse have done to her.

"To you it's not, the old man however. The bastard never gave a damn." She replied taking another bite of pizza. "He didn't Brendan. He never once gave a rats ass 'bout me. Never will, an' all 'cause I wasn't cut to be a cop. God for bid, someone shouldn't be like him."

I chew on my inner cheek. "Budgie-" I reach out pulling her into a hug. She resists at first but after a few minuets she breaks down in my arms.

"Brendan," she was sobbing. "I tried so hard, I did. I really did. I wanted him to love me, but I never had a chance. I wasn't cut out to be a cop, an' I w-was cut out to be his - his daughter."