Title: Shadows of his past
Rating: R - Violence and such
Players: Finney Jr, Finney Sr, and others.
Category: Angst
Summary: Things trigger memories of Finney's past
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: I'm not sure about this fic. The idea came to me while talking to Mona about Finney Jr. I'm taking a risk and really hoping for reviews, even though I know there aren't that many Finney fans out there. I'm not really one myself. But I'm willing to give this a try.
Also if you see any small spelling errors, let me know. I went over a dozen times, and so did one of my friends. But sometimes even if you go over something a few times you miss. Please -PM- me if you find anything. Thank you. Also thank you everyone for your reviews.

I don't think I had ever seen Lieutenant Swersky so mad before he was livid. My father though, his face was unmoved, it was like he didn't care. Which knowing him; he didn't. I mean it was only his daughter that died.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!" I think the whole precinct heard Swersky when he asked that question.

"Nothing happened, it was a misunderstanding." My Dad says, adjusting his tie. I can tell he's nervous; he's always adjusts his tie when he's nervous.

"I'll say, he has a broken hand, four stitches in the back of his hand, you have a black eye, a fat lip, and there's a broken window in the ER of Angel of Mercy hospital. NOW WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?"

"Yeah dad why don't you tell him?"

My father shoots me the coldest glare ever; I can almost feel my blood freeze. "My son just needs to control his anger."

"Me? Me? I need to control my anger. You're kidding me?" I turn to Swersky "He should be one to talk about anger management."

"Apparently my son isn't ready for the job yet, and what comes with the job."

I start laughing. "Just like Bridget huh? That's why she's dead now. She's not coming back dead, she's dead Dad." I clench my fists again.

He just stares, saying nothing.

"Just as I thought, you don't give a shit you never did."

"Bridget was your-" Swersky starts.

I cut him off. "-My sister, his daughter. You know your flesh and blood." I stare right at my father.

Again he adjusts his tie. "My daughter she ran away three years ago. I've been searching for her."

"Bullshit!"

"Brendan!" Swersky speaks.

My Father looks at me, and then turns back to Swersky. "She had always been a troubled girl, I was worried. I have been since she left. She was my baby girl."

I start laughing, only to get an angered look from Lieutenant Swersky.

"So when I heard, she was at Mercy and why." My father says. "I got there as fast as I could. Only it was too late, my little girl was gone." I watch as a tear rolls down his cheek.

This was a better performance then Mercy. "Now why don't you tell him the truth?"

My father looks at me. "You'll have to forgive my son, one he's delusional, and two he has no respect for authority."

"You want to teach me? Huh Dad? Show Lieutenant Swersky how you teach respect for authority figures, such yourself? How 'bout you beat it into me, like you did Bridget? Or even better how about a pot of boiling water? That ring a bell?"

He's really adjusting his tie this time. "I don't know what you are talking about." He smiles at Swersky. "My son has always had an imaginative mind, he really is a wonderful story teller."

"You seem to be doin' a better job then me right now, so why don't you go a head dad. Tell Swersky how your father of the year."

He looks at his watch, and again adjusts his tie. "I have a meeting I need to get to." He stands extending his hand. "Thank you for your time Lieutenant Swersky and I apologize for my son's behavior. I'll be sure it doesn't happen again."

Swersky shakes his hand. "I'll be in contact with you Captain." He says as my father leaves the room.

I'm still sitting in Swersky office; I run my finger over the brim of my duty cap, and then stare at the picture inside. It's Bridget and me when we were kids. Tell the truth. I hear my sister's voice. "Sir-" I start. "I -- my father, he. It was all lies."

He leans against a desk, his arms crossed over his chest. "Care to tell me the truth?"

I nod. "My father use to abuse her, me and my mother."

He stands up now and looks at me. "What? Officer, you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes sir, I have too, for Bridget." I look up at him. "You can pull up her medical records, you'll see. The broken bones, the burns, the hospital stays; it's all there."

"I can order an autopsy if you'd like."

"My father won't allow it." I say. "He'd put up a fight." He probably try and take the city down. Maybe even kill the M.E

"Court ordered he wouldn't be able to stop it." He says. "If what you say is true, would you like to make a statement?"

"Yes sir, I'll do whatever I haveta, he can't get away with it anymore." I tell him knowing my father needs to pay. Knowing this is what Bridget would have wanted.

"Would you like a union rep?"

I shake my head. "No, I'm willing to do this on my own, whatever happens, happens."

"It might not be pretty." He tilts his head.

"Neither was what he did to his family, I'm willing to take the risk. If it means he pays for all the pain he's caused."

"He has a lot of friends in high places."

I nod. "I'm well aware of it, but I don't care. Bridget might be alive today had he been stopped sooner. I'm a cop, sworn to serve and protect. My job is to get scum off the street. I'm jus' doin' my job."

"If this is what you want." He tells me.

"It is sir, my sister deserves the truth, and people need to know what kind of man my father really is."

"If your sure, I will have the DA order an autopsy and I will keep you informed. As for now, go change, go home, and get some rest."

Knowing the condition of my hand, I know I very well can't stay so putting up a fight would be a waste of energy. "Yes sir, thank you sir."

He nods. "No problem."

I'm changed and ready to leave when I saw my father pass outside, soon after I heard Sullivan's voice.

"Look everyone it's Cathel Finney, word has it he beats his family. Your secret is out you rat bastard. Everyone knows."

I quickly make my way outside. Seeing my father staring at Sully.

"Tell me CT did Finney did it make you hard each time you hit them. Did t make you feel like a man knowing you beat on your family?"

Suddenly Swersky steps outside. "Sullivan."

"It turned you on hearing them cry, knowing you hurt them. It made you hard. Tell me one more thing CT Finney. How do you feel now?" I can tell he's amused.

"Okay enough!" Swersky yells.

"Wasn't enough to shoot and kill a fellow cop, you had to beat your family and the side."

"SULLIVAN THAT IS ENOUGH!" Swersky yells. "Go back on patrol. NOW!"

"I'd like that officer charged with verbal abuse." My Father looks over his shoulder at Swersky.

"I'd like you to leave my precinct, no charges will be filed against Officer Sullivan." Swersky matter-of-factly says.

My father looks at me, and then looks at Swersky. "Well just see about that."

"Yes we will. Have a good day Captain." Swersky calls out to him.

Suddenly I realize everyone is now staring at me, quickly I head out of the precinct trying to avoid the whispers that were floating around.

I see Ty as I walked out of the precinct, my eyes don't stay on him to long as I watch my Dad get into his car with his goons. He can't to far without them, he drives away but definitely not towards home. "Davis."

"Yeah?" he replies.

"Think you hum -- can you give me a ride to my mothers?"

He nods. "Yeah, sure no problem. C'mon."

"Thanks." I say walking to the RMP. "Sorry you gotta ride alone the rest of the shift." I look down at my casted hand, knowing I'd be riding desk for a few week maybe it would be best.

"Hey Finney; it's cool. Don't worry about it. I'm sorry for your loss." He gets into the RMP as I follow. "I understand. I would have done the same thing."

He starts driving, and I'm completely numb. I stare out the window, not sure weather or not I want to scream or cry, or turn around find my father and kill him. I had just gotten my sister back, only to lose her so soon. It wasn't fair and it didn't have to happen. Not to her.

As we drive we pass the playground I use to take her too all the time. She loved the swings. It was her most absolute favorite thing in the park. My mind drifts back.

----------

"Higher." She cries. "Higher Brendan."

"You're goin' as high as you can Budgie." I tell her giving her one more shove.

She swings back and forth. A smile on her face you can't forget, she begins to come to a stop. "Again, this time higher."

"Budgie," I laugh, "you can't go any higher, and you'll fall off."

She huff. "Fine," she replies, "but we can try right?"

"Sure, we can try kiddo. No problem."

She swung for a few more minuets before finally dragging her feet, bringing the swing to a stop. "Will you push me on the merry-go-around?"

I nod smiling. "Sure go on, but then get gotta go home, we don't want to be late for dinner."

"Mommy's making Pigs-in-blanket tonight." She smiled.

"I know she is." I walk with her over to the merry-go-around, adjusting her ski cap that sat on her head. "Hop on and hang on tight."

She jumps on, sitting down she grabbed on tightly. "Okay, I'm ready Brendan!"

I start running with it, before letting it go, watching her blur past me a dozen times before it finally slowed down and came to a stop. "C'mon, we should go, its getting cold an' dark." I take her hand helping her off the ride.

"I'm dizzy Brendan." She has a goofy grin on her face.

"I bet you are." I smile as we started walking.

"Can we come tomorrow?" She looks up at me, her cheeks rosy, from the cold.

"We'll see, we can try. I can't promise you though. It's supposed to rain."

"Okay, but if it doesn't rain?"

Not sure what kind of mood would be in tomorrow, I look down at her. "We'll see okay."

"Alright." She answers skipping a bit.

We arrive home a few minuets later; I pull the Iron Gate open, letting my sister go ahead of me. She runs up the steps, then stops turning around.

"Brendan" She calls out wiping her running nose on the sleeve of her coat.

"What?" I pick her up in my arms.

"You're the best brother in the world." She tells me.

--------

"Finney?"

I turn to Ty the RMP has stopped. "Yeah?" I asked dully.

"We're here." he replies.

"Oh," I climb out of the RMP, "thanks."

"You want me to stay?" He asks me.

"No - no I haveta do this on my own." My eyes scan the street in front of the house; I didn't see my father's car anywhere.

"Okay, if you need anythin' call okay."

"Thanks Davis."

"No problem man." He answers.

I stand staring at the front of my house, as Davis drives away. It's a few minuets before I can finally bring myself to walk up the steps and knock on the door.

My mother answers, a smile on her face she kisses me. "Hey sweetie."

I can't even look at her; I know if I do I'll start crying.

"Come in." She holds the door open as I finally make my way inside.

Finally I look at her, my face can't hide it.

"Brendan?" She asks me. "Brendan, sweetheart? What's wrong? Did something happen at work? Are you okay?" She looks down. "Your hand what happened?"

"Mom, you should sit down there's something I need to tell you?"

My mom keeps her eyes on me as she backs up to the sofa sitting down. "Brendan? Something happen to you father?"

"Mom, we got a call today." I start out. I can feel the tears forming. I've told people a loved one has died before, but never my own mother. I didn't think I would have too.

She's scared, I can tell. She knows the news is bad. I'm about to break her heart, hurt her more then she's probably already been heart.

"It was for a drug overdose." I pause thinking of how to say that. They don't teach this part in the PA. "Mom, it was Bridget..."

She starts shaking her head I can see her crying. "Brendan, no please don't. -"

"Mom I'm sorry." I tell her. "I'm so sorry Mom, the doctors tried everything. The medics too, they worked real hard."

"No, not my baby, no my baby." She is bawling now.

"Mom." I pull her into my arms. "Mom I'm so sorry."

"Brendan, my baby's gone.... she's gone." She's sobbing into my shoulder crying, hugging me tightly.

I just hold her, knowing no matter what I say, no matter how hard I try I can't make it better. I can't bring Bridget back, I can't un-break my mom's heart.