Part 15—Spotlight on Willow
Selected items from UNS Q&A session with Willow ca-Rosenberg, revered by the Prima for her pioneering role in bringing True Magic and Slayers out of the Taran shadows, circa September 2003. Camlin Tikri reporting.
The most shocking thing about Willow ca-Rosenberg is that she doesn't look like the Prima or her portraits. Her hair is a burnished red that gleams in the sun, as opposed to the snow white sported by her spiritual descendants. Her skin has a milky white luster and her green eyes shine with friendly welcome.
Much of her story is shrouded in mystery and jealously guarded by the Prima. She bears no –rah or –sen after her name, as Prima positively forbid it, but she is held in reverence by all who came after her.
But in the here-and-now, ca-Rosenberg is as far away from her historical portrait as one can get. There's no reserve, no smooth grace, no cool superiority, no quiet knowledge dancing behind her eyes that one would expect in personage cited as a founding influence of the Prima order. Instead, what you see is a beautiful young woman, full of life and hope, who is by turns funny and sweet, caring and warm, graceful in her clumsiness, and so very, very involved with the rush and hum of everyday life.
Of all the people in this intrepid band, the difference between reality and legend is no more pronounced than in the person of this one young woman. Perhaps the Prima and other admirers might be disappointed in the portrait presented here. Perhaps ca-Rosenberg would be no less disappointed to discover that the future has stripped her of her humanity, leaving her as nothing more than a mysterious whisper on the wind.
It's long been speculated about the exact nature of the life-long relationship between Harris-rah and ca-Rosenberg. The Prima have steadfastly refused to release her journals and the Council Honoria and Council Educationary archives contain competing explanations. Some say they were brother and sister, or at least close blood relatives. Others have said they were lovers. The issue has never been clarified to anyone's satisfaction.
But the truth is somewhat more pedestrian than that, which makes it all the more extraordinary. So, in an exclusive UNS interview, ca-Rosenberg herself solves the mystery without knowing that there's a mystery to solve.
UNS: So I understand that relationships among your people are complicated.
WR: Oh, boy. You got that right.
UNS: Care to explain?
WR: Well, take Buffy, for example. First there was the whole Buffy-Angel thing, but then she wound up going for a Buffy-Owen thing. Then there was Buffy-Angel again, Buffy-Scott, then back to Buffy-Angel for a third time, then Buffy-Poopyhead Parker, followed by Buffy-Riley, and then Buffy-Spike, which I totally didn't get.
UNS: Sounds like she's been busy.
WR: You're not kidding. Right now, the only guys around are Robin, Giles, and Xander. If I were them, I'd totally be afraid. [pauses] But that's not a criticism. It's not. Against Buffy, I mean. She has every right to go with anyone she wants, so I…just forget I said anything.
UNS: But couldn't she "be with" Robin, Rupert, and Alexander?
WR: Unh, well, actually…I guess. Except Robin. I think he's off-limits. I'm not sure the way things are going these days. You'll have to ask Faith about that.
UNS: Faith was very complimentary about everyone's open relationships.
WR: She was?
UNS: Yes. She said herself that everyone shared-and-shared alike.
WR: Makes us sound like a commune. Not that we don't share. No. We do share. But, you know, there are, like, limits. Me and Kennedy, that's who I'm living with right now, have a really small room. Really small. Not too sure if I'd want to share that with a third person on a regular basis. [pause] Although Xander did sleep with us this one night because Andrew had pushed him to the breaking point over the Superman-Batman debate.
UNS: So you and Alexander share a close relationship.
WR: We grew up together. We're like brother and sister, you know? We've known each other since we were toddlers, so, like…well. {sigh} I gotta be honest. We haven't always been close. Sometimes you drift apart for really stupid reasons, like, over relationships and personal issues and magic addition and the threat of immanent death and getting devoured from beneath. But, you know, we're working on rebuilding our friendship. It's taken a lot hits, not the least of which was when I tried to kill him. But, hey! Thank god for yellow crayons and Xander's memory, right? But, we're making the effort to hang out and talk. We're not back to what we were but…not that I want us to go back to what we were. More like I want build on…well, I don't mean that either. I just want is for us to be able to be really close like we once were, but without the illicit smoochies because that way lies the way of stomach-churning guilt and metal rods through the stomach and no touching rules and broken Pez witches.
UNS: I'm really confused, what did you just…
WR: Oh god. I'm babbling. I don't mean to babble. It's just that when you're writing down every word I say I get nervous and I don't know when…
UNS: Let's backtrack. You and Alexander were involved in [checks notes] something called "illicit smoochies."
WR: I wasn't the first! Xander and illicit smoochies just go together. I mean, he spent more time in dark closets with Cordelia's breasts than most people spend watching TV in a lifetime.
UNS: Ah. I. Umm.
WR: Now if you want someone with a really strange love life, you gotta look at Xander's record. Crush on Buffy. Bug lady flirtations. Smoochies with Inca Mummy Girl. Cordelia's breasts, like I said. Illicit smoochies with me, like I admitted. Sex with Faith. Then non-stop sex with Anya, which she told everyone about all the time. I really didn't want to know about spanking fun, let me tell you. Oh, and he went out on a date with this one woman who turned out to be a demon looking for a blood sacrifice. That one was so bad that he asked me to turn him gay.
UNS: Did you?
WR: Unh. No. He was kidding, I think. Wait! I forget. He once had a love spell cast and it went all haywire and every woman in town fell in love with him. When they all couldn't have him, they tried to kill him. I went after him with an axe, but the thing that really wigged him out was when Buffy's mom hit on him. Although I remember hearing something about Buffy being dressed in nothing but a raincoat and a smile before Amy turned her into a rat.
UNS: [tapping MemePad] I hope you're getting all this.
WR: But don't you want to know about the big battle with the First? And activating the Potentials?
UNS: Yes! Yes! Good idea! The less I hear about…it's just that the less I hear about the complicated interpersonal relationships, the better off…I'm not sure my readers…I mean…I really don't know how to adequately describe the activities in the house.
WR: [confused] It's not that complicated. We research. We train. Some of us go outside to work. Some of us work around the house. Some of us go to school. We come back. Dinner is served. We patrol. We come home. We sleep.
UNS: You make this [waves around room] sound very routine.
WR: Yeah, we're finding our rhythm. But we still get some surprises, like we find a new Slayer or some bigger-than-average threat comes up, but summer just ended so, things are probably going to change for the not-so-routine.
UNS: Why do you say that?
WR: My theory is that Evil goes on Summer vacation. Thank god. I don't think I could handle battling Evil during an ozone alert. And have you felt the humidity around here? I think people born in Cleveland have gills. It's the only way you can breathe.
UNS: Have you seen the gills?
WR: [mischievous grin] Nope. I'm waiting for Faith to bring one of the natives home and get them naked. I'd say Xander, except with his luck she really will have gills and try to eat his head.
UNS: So you're open to bringing new people into the, ummm, picture?
WR: [confused] Not too many people would accept the life we lead. Can't blame them, though.
UNS: So, you do agree that standing on the thin line between good and evil does affect your overall morality when interacting with others?
WR: [winces] Yeah. Sometimes. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in the big things that the little things trip you up. Or sometimes you get so focused on yourself and what you're going through that other people cease to count. It's a constant battle, but you have to work at it. It's not easy, but at least I know it's there so I can do better and be a better friend, a better person, and a better all-around Willow.
UNS: Very wise words. Very wise.
WR: So, do you want to hear about Sunnydale or not?
UNS: Oh, yes. Please, please do…
TBC…