Title: "All That Matters…"
Author: Padawanmage
Rating: PG
Archive: Please ask first
Status: complete
Category: Missing/Filler Scene, Ship – 'hints' of McWeir
Summary: What happened immediately after the older Weir died and just before Sheppard shows up on the terrace?
Spoilers: Up to and including 'Before I Sleep'
Sequel/Season: Season One
Authors Note: After watching 'Before I Sleep', I wanted to write a filler-scene right after the younger Weir watches her older self die. This is my first SGA fic, so reviews and critiques are welcome, but please no flames. This is also an unbetaed work so please be gentle. I don't own anything, though if I did I'd put the Stargate up for auction on eBay. ;-)
"All That Matters…"
Elizabeth Weir stood there, holding on to the hand of what was once an aged version of her. She gazed down at the wizened face, almost imagining that the elderly woman lying in bed was sleeping instead of having just passed away. Slowly, on its own, her other hand reached over and shut off the piercing whine of the heart rate monitor. Then it came over and lovingly stroked the silver tresses of the woman who sacrificed so much.
"Life is quick."
"Not for you."
Weir nodded to herself, knowing in her heart what she'd been trying to tell herself. She blinked several times and took a shaky breath, a lump forming in her throat.
Several feet away, keeping a respectable silence, stood McKay and Sheppard. Rodney looked over at John and could see the same helplessness reflected there. A part of him knew what Elizabeth was going through: he still felt shocked that his alternate self had drowned while trying to save the lives of others.
But to see the actual passing of yourself…?
He took a step towards Elizabeth but stopped at a look from Sheppard. The Major shook his head and nodded back towards the doors of the infirmary. McKay frowned slightly, but seeing Elizabeth taking a seat next to the bed, he took a deep breath and nodded. The door opened for both men with John leaving first and Rodney right behind. Just at the entrance, he looked one last time back into the room…and his mouth fell in dismay.
Elizabeth sat hunched over, her shoulders shaking slightly. Even before the doors closed on Rodney, he could make out the soft, distinct sound of weeping.
"I'm truly sorry, Elizabeth," Dr. Beckett said as he laid the cover across the body. He glanced back and noticed Weir sitting nearby, smiling sadly and staring wistfully at her mirror image.
"Don't be, Carson," she said, shaking her head. "She died knowing that her actions gave us all a second chance to live. Not to mention giving us the hope of one day getting back to Earth." Elizabeth got up, walked over and gently laid a hand on the sheet-covered head. "How many people can die knowing they've accomplished that much?"
Dr. Beckett said nothing, but looked thoughtful. "I just wonder what I would've said to myself?" he mused.
"I'm sorry?"
The Scotsman looked apologetic. "Sorry, Dr. Weir. I'm not one of those fans of science fiction and all that, but even I've heard of the story of going back in time and meeting yourself and all. It's still hard to believe that I died along with Lt. Ford when the city collapsed, but…if I was the one who somehow made it to that Puddle Jumper, went back in time and survived in stasis long enough to meet myself…what would I say?" A confused looked passed through the doctor's face. "What could I say?"
Weir looked sympathetically at Beckett. She thought of the knowledge that she - all of them – here, in this city, owed their lives to her alternate self, not to mention the five gate addresses that had Ancient outposts with known ZPM's. All that knowledge was invaluable of course, but what stuck in the forefront of Elizabeth's mind was one of the last bits of conversation she had with herself:
"Enjoy the moment. What's here, right now: the sun, the breeze…"
"…stop being so damn hard on yourself."
"All that matters…is right now."
"The important things, Carson," Weir quietly said, looking back to where her hand still lay. "The important things."
Afterwards, Dr. Beckett had discretely asked what Elizabeth wanted done with the body, since she was – technically speaking – the next of kin. Elizabeth was at a loss until Carson made a suggestion that surprised even her. Although he was the head of all things medical in Atlantis, that didn't mean he couldn't do a little research on how the Ancients conducted their medicine here. It seemed the Atlanteans had a more efficient method of handling their dead, made more practical since they could not bury them while submerged under the sea.
Elizabeth thought about it, and then accepted…with one stipulation. She left and returned a little while later to the infirmary carrying a bundle, which she handed to Carson. He looked at it briefly and nodded in understanding.
Once the task was complete, Dr. Beckett handed the object back to Elizabeth who reverently handled it as she thanked him and walked out the door. No one stopped her as she made her way up the stairs that led to the main terrace. She did stop briefly as she looked and noticed Rodney walking down the stairs towards her. He said nothing, but his eyes flickered to the bundle in her hands. Eyes widening in understanding, he looked back at her. He opened his mouth, frowned, and then closed it again with a sigh, standing aside to let her pass. McKay was surprised when she briefly squeezed his arm as she walked past and gave him a look of thanks for his support.
With that, she slowly made her way past the control room and out the door leading to the main platform, which overlooked the whole of the city from the highest point. She smiled as she caressed the jar that had been given her to her for her birthday. Her counterpart was right in what she'd said to the Atlantean Council all those untold millennia ago: they were explorers, just as the Ancients were themselves.
What finer testament could Elizabeth give her other self than to allow her to continue exploring…by riding the winds of an alien world?
She slowly took the cover off of the clay jar and tipped it over the side of the railing. A sudden updraft picked up the ashes that poured out. The motes danced vigorously around in the air before Elizabeth for several moments before being carried away. Weir swallowed as she watched the last vestiges fly away towards the horizon and disappear.
"Goodbye."
-FIN-