Part 17: Computers, and Witches, and Time…Oh My!

Catherine bounded up the stairs two-at-a-time humming the most obscenely cheerful tune she could think of. And was it her imagination, or was the sun really bright on Tara? She could practically feel her skin tan every time she walked by a window.

As she passed one of the bedrooms, she could hear Ruda jabbering excitedly. She poked her head in and realized that the jabbering involved a certain amount of swooning and drooling over a likeness portraying something that was almost too pretty to be male or human.

Since swooning and drooling was definitely conversation of the safe variety, Catherine backed slowly away and continued her path to the bedroom set aside for her team's private conferences. A Slayer, Catherine couldn't recall the name, was trying to make it look like that sitting in a heavily trafficked hallway reading a book was the most natural thing for her to do.

The fact that she was sprawled uncomfortably near the reserved room was only the merest of mere coincidences, Catherine supposed.

The girl looked up at the Watcher Honoria's approach and rolled her eyes. "The guy with the white hair, Geennall, right? Well, he's already in there. Your doctor is still with Giles."

Awww, the girl wasn't even trying. "You're absolutely no fun, you know that?" Catherine asked.

"My ass is sore, my eyes are tired, and I've been stepped on all afternoon," the girl snorted. "And it's Andrea, by the way."

"Hunh?"

"My name. Is Andrea. In case you care about us nobodies."

"If you've got a name, that makes you somebody," Catherine said. Okay, she sounded like a walking platitude but she just didn't care because she had a good workout, a willing student, and her team's screw-up was turning out to be a grand adventure. "I'm pleased to meet you, Andrea. Want me to get a pillow to make you more comfortable?"

Andrea gave her a bit of the evil eye before huffing, "No thanks. A pillow and I'll probably fall asleep. Then my ass will really be grass. Robin'll make me run extra laps or something stupid like that."

Robin. Her good mood turned down a notch. "Oh, right. Sorry. I didn't mean…"

"Yeah, nobody means anything." On that note, Andrea buried her nose in her book, a clear indication that she was so very done talking to one of the creatures responsible for keeping her indoors on a beautiful day.

Catherine's mouth ticked in confusion, but a quick shake of her head and a shrug was enough to get her concentrating. Surprising that Charlie was still in discussions with Giles, more surprising that J'Nal was already finished. She figured she'd have to drag J'Nal kicking and screaming away from Willow and her ancient technological toys.

She was probably reading more into it than was really there.

She swung open the door and immediately spotted J'Nal staring dejectedly out a window.

Then again, maybe not.

She quietly closed the door and stole up to the witch's side.

"Don't," he said.

"Don't what?"

"Don't infect me with your good mood, otherwise I just might have to find out whether you like the taste of insects."

"Random threats involving improper magic use?" Catherine asked with raised eyebrows. "Isn't that against one of the three thousand Prima regulations governing the proper etiquette for interacting with mundanes like me?"

"I'd think messing about with the timeline is against the rules as well, but I don't see you preparing any disciplinary reports."

"J'Nal, what's wrong?"

"They are utter barbarians. Do you know what she did? Do you? She used her fingers to retrieve information from her ai. No, wait. It's not an ai. She called it a 'computer.' Do you know what a computer is? It's a dumb machine that's as useful as a toaster in the bath. No. Wait. Forget I said that. That's too insulting even for a toaster."

"Me not technology guru. You technology guru. I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Their level of technology is about even with rubbing two stakes together to start a fire," J'Nal complained. "No wait. It's more like watching primates playing with sticks of dynamite."

Catherine's lips squished mightily as she discarded the first and second things that popped into her head. The third thing sounded somewhat more comforting. "We're looking at technology that's 834 years out of date. I really don't see how any of us could possibly expect anything better."

"Did you know that they use only inorganic matter for their knowledge systems?"

The Watcher Honoria mentally thumbed through her limited knowledge of technology. She knew how to turn something on, use it, and then turn it off. If it worked, she was rolling in the flora. If it didn't work, she asked J'Nal or Charlie to fix it. "This is bad?" she ventured.

"Where are the neural networks? Where is the organic linkage? Nowhere, that's where," J'Nal grumbled. "She didn't even know what a touchloop was. That's the most basic component of any ai."

"Touchloop. That's the pink stuff that falls out of the walls when a ship gets shot out from underneath you, right?"

"No, that's the neural tubing for the roughrout," J'Nal said shortly. "Honestly, Catherine, at some point you need to retrain on this. What'll happen if…"

"Oooooh, let's not have this argument," the Watcher Honoria pleaded. "Or I might start talking about how you need to learn how to use a sword."

"That's not the point." Catherine was treated to a sight she never thought she'd see: J'Nal almost waving his arms in frustration. "The point is the most basic component of all their technology is sand."

"Sand," Catherine said slowly. "Well, at least it's plentiful, you have to give them that. And points for creatively using something that…"

"These computer ships or is that chits? These things? Sand. Optimum fibers? Sand," J'Nal ranted, not heeding Catherine's words. "I bet they eat sand."

"Don't be ridiculous. They don't eat sand," Catherine cut in.

"Oh really," J'Nal's eyelids twitched with the horror. "Have you asked them where eggs come from? From a bird's bum, that's where."

"See, now I know you're overwrought."

"I'm not overwrought. It's.All.True."

"Take a deep breath. It can't be that bad."

"It's worse," J'Nal whimpered. "ca-Rosenberg…"

"Yeah, I admit the red hair kind of threw me," Catherine admitted. When J'Nal fixed her with a glare, she quickly added, "Not that I know anything about Prima beliefs and mythology and history. No sir. Not me. Nothing at all. Just because I had some fabulous se--…I mean, just because I almost sealed with a…he didn't tell me anything. Nope. No way."

J'Nal's jaw ticked. "I'm going to pretend to believe you."

"Thank you," Catherine sincerely replied.

"I'm going to pretend you know because all portraits of our Founding Light show her with white hair," J'Nal said.

"Yes! Of course! You know that's…umm…stop me before I hurt myself."

"It's not just the red hair. Oh no. It's more than that." J'Nal gestured for Catherine to step closer. When she did as asked, he leaned up and whispered, "She's cute." The witch stepped back with a shiver.

"Cute." Catherine said slowly. "What's wrong with…"

"She acts like a little furry thing that waves her little paws whenever she gets excited. And the way her mouth moves and the sounds that come out of it when you mention something she's never heard of before…" J'Nal's voice trailed off as a blank stare took over.

Catherine fought a smile. "So your problem is that Willow has a real personality? That she's a real human being?"

"Says the woman who only last night was moping that her Founders didn't match up with legend."

"Reality is much more fun," Catherine airily waved.

"Reality? Do you want to know reality?" J'Nal asked. "ca-Rosenberg is a fraud. She doesn't know anything about magic. It's just a tool to her. She has absolutely nothing resembling a spiritual belief or wisdom. She couldn't even pass the requisite tests to apply for training."

"Hold up," Catherine ordered with narrowed eyes. "This Willow is the same ca-Rosenberg that cast the Great Awakening spell, past tense even at this early date. This Willow is the same ca-Rosenberg who will do more to organize the existing magical knowledge than any other witch of her time. You are being unreasonable."

"No I'm not." J'Nal looked lost. "Take the Great Awakening. Do you know why they cast the spell?"

"Because things had gone very bad in Sun'dyl and they needed all the Slayer help they could get," Catherine said with rolled eyes. "Everyone knows the story."

"Correction, they did it just because it solved an immediate problem. Not one of them thought about the long term. None of them. Not ca-Rosenberg. Not Harris-rah. Not Lanoire-rah. Not Summers-rah. Not Wood-rah. Not even Wise Giles-rah. I found out from ca-Rosen…Willow that they don't even have the most basic tools to find all the Slayers they Called. They have nothing in their technology and they don't have the magical knowledge to track these women down."

Catherine felt a chill go up her spine. "We know the Gathering took years to complete."

"It took years because they were using detective work to find the new Slayers," J'Nal said. "Oh, sure, they've got some help from a Coven, but none of the witches in this time period are powerful enough to find more than one Slayer at a time."


Catherine tried not to think about some of the Slayers she'd known about that had decided might made right. She tried not to think what would happen if the Slayer-run Judiciary Committee didn't exist to stop their Code-breaking sisters from taking whatever they wanted, including lives. She tried not to think about the Slayers in the distant past who may not even know they were Slayers and what they might do if they found out they were stronger and faster than everyone else.

In the name of the Founders…

"Now you see," J'Nal said in a defeated voice. "Now you understand what they did."

Catherine reached out and grabbed J'Nal's arm. "You have to show her. You have to teach her everything she needs to know."

"What?" J'Nal asked with shocked horror.

"Those Slayers…there are lives at stake. Their lives, other people's lives. Don't you see?" Catherine was doing her best to keep the panic out of her voice and probably failing miserably. "You know all the identification and tracking spells. You know it. The humane thing to do is to teach her. This is ca-Rosenberg. She'll be able to learn. I know it."

J'Nal jerked his arm out of her hand and stepped back. "Do you have any idea what you're asking?"

Catherine drew herself up to her full height and ordered, "I'm demanding that you do your duty, ca-J'Veb."

"All of those spells evolved over time. They were systemized and codified not today, but a generation from now," J'Nal swallowed hard as he said it, a sure sign that he didn't want to be giving Catherine an answer she didn't want to hear. "You're asking me to give tools to these people before they've developed the skills and without the ethical or knowledge framework to effectively use them."

"But…" Catherine pushed.

"You're also asking me to utterly destroy the timeline, which will utterly destroy our reality. If we do it, we'll be worse than the Great Darkness that's already threatening us," J'Nal added quietly.

"It may make things better," Catherine protested.

"Or it may make things worse. A lot worse," J'Nal corrected. "We have no way of knowing for sure and we don't dare risk it. As it is we may have done irreparable damage to the timeline just by letting them see us."

Catherine froze and whispered, "Or train with us."

"I have to meditate," J'Nal said. He obviously didn't hear her and for that Catherine was grateful because she really didn't want to see how he'd react. "I need to recover from…from…the spells yesterday and…" He stopped himself and gave Catherine a broken-hearted look.

"Go ahead," Catherine quietly said.

J'Nal nodded and retreated out of the room where, no doubt, a Slayer was waiting to escort him to a quiet space, leaving Catherine alone with her accusing thoughts.

TBC…