"I think we can figure that out."

Sango, from her position beside Miroku – they had fourth period together – pointed over at Kagome, Kouga and Inuyasha.

Fine, call it heroism if you like. Call it whatever you want.

But don't mess things up when he finally decided to think of someone else besides himself in 4 and a half months.

Even the fact that Kagome ran to Kouga's aid after he'd been hurt – the worse that could happen were a few grass stains on his ass – didn't piss him off the way it usually did. No, it was just Kouga this time. Just Kouga he felt like being angry at.

He hadn't properly pummeled him earlier today, come to think of it.

Inuyasha advanced on his enemy, lashing out with his hand to grip the wolf's collar and lift him above the ground. Golden eyes were angry, horrifying if you were on the receiving end. He would have thrown the youkai into the wall, but he wanted his message across first.

"Leave Kagome alone. She's not your girlfriend."

His voice was soft, trembling with rage.

"And leave Kikyou out of this. You're lucky Sesshoumaru showed up, or you wouldn't be alive right now. And just because I feel like spending my lunch actually eating, I won't kill you now, either. But make me angry one more time, and I won't give a damn where the hell we are. I'll just kill you."

That said, he dropped the wolf, kicking him to help him leave.

Kikyou….Kikyou….

It had taken all morning, but it had finally gotten it.

He had just asked Kagome to the dance. Meaning he wasn't going with Kikyou.

Because Kikyou was dead.

Kikyou was dead…

That familiar lost, broken, painful feeling rose in his chest. His eyes burned as he pushed past Kagome to run out the door. Kami, home seemed so far away from here. So far, yet it seemed only seconds before he was pushing open the door and tramping up the stairs to slam his bedroom door behind him.

The hanyou slumped down against his door, curling his knees to his chest and burying his face in his legs. A horrid reminder, coming up out of nowhere. Odd, how he could go almost a month without crying, and then one day, just break down again.

He'd always gone to the school dances with Kikyou. It was expected, and he'd liked doing it. He was distant from his friends at the time, but they'd had fun without him anyway.

It was times like this the void seemed to be the only thing in existance. The void Kikyou had ripped open the day she ended her life.

/Now I would do most anything/
/To get you back by my side/
/But I just keep on laughing/
/Hiding the tears in my eyes/
/Because boys don't cry/
/Boys don't cry /
/Boys don't cry/

"Inuyasha?"

Kagome stood, able to see the terrible look in his eyes that was all aching and pained – not nearly lackluster enough to mirror Sesshoumaru's. His threats were real, horribly so. She hadn't seen him so angry in a while. And then – and only then – she had to stare.

Why did he look like he was going to cry? Kami, why did she even have to ask?

As he ran away Kagome felt the biting register of frigid guilt drip into her consciousness from an invisible IV. Without even five seconds of registering, she looking desperately at Miroku and Sango as she ran after him. Screw school, she barely noticed racing by the principal's office. Let Kagura see her, now she was heading for the hanyou.

Please be heading home, Inuyasha … what can I do, Inuyasha … Gomen ne, Inuyasha …

If only apologies could cover anything. Lies, betrayal, death. If only you could say 'sorry' and everything could be wiped away. Erased from the chalkboard as if it had never existed. But no – sorry only grated things over. It didn't do anything. It was an empty hope that your wishes could be acknowledged enough to take the hurt away.

She'd realized it. But then again, she hadn't. Was it ever her place to? Kikyou was dead … the only reason that phrase held meaning was because of Inuyasha. He was the reason she went to the funeral – that she sat on the other line as the paramedics took her body away. She hadn't known her enough.

Kaede had had pictures of the girl around the house, had talked to her about how stunning she was – how brilliant. How very mature and elegant. Wise beyond her years, always brooding – that sort of thing. The thing that proud grandmothers do for their grandchildren. Kikyou, the porcelain trophy that hung like a dark cloud over Kagome's dreams.

You're dead and yet you're still here. You're dead and yet you still can't let go. You're feeding off of him – you're like a leech. Let him move past you .. Kami, he had been so close. I didn't know you well at all, but you're always there. You won't even let /me/ be. I need to stop this. I almost stopped this. I love him because he's one of my best friends.

Nothing else, there's no reason why I feel like I'm an idiot to be chasing him down ..

I'm not jealous .. there's nothing to be jealous of if there's nothing there .. jealousy is selfish, and now is not the time ..

He's hurting. He's /always/ hurting. But now, you, the Queen of Late Realizations, finally noticed. Great job.

Turning the knob of the front door, Kagome silently said thanks for it being unlocked walking upstairs and turning the corner to the hanyou's bedroom.

If she closed her eyes she could hear him crying. The last time had been on the phone … this was decidedly worse.

"…Inuyasha?"

She asked, her voice timid. As if he might open the door and strike her.

/I heard that you were living well/
/But you don't look like you're living to me./
/Although the sparkle is gone,/
/Your smile is in place so that everyone watching will see./

Gone. Dead. Deceased. Lost. Passed on.

There were so many ways to describe that state of body.

Gone was right. She was gone from his life. Not from his heart, maybe, but from this world.

Dead....that spoke for itself.

Ditto for deceased.

Lost...no, she wasn't lost. If something was lost, that meant it could be found eventually. But Kikyou wasn't lost. She was /gone./ He couldn't scour the earth and find her. She wouldn't just show up one day, like that other sock you thought had disappeared forever but one day popped into your drawer.

Passed on....passed on to what, exactly? Otherworld? Underworld? Hell? Heaven?

But your heartbeat didn't have to stop for you to be dead. He'd been dead for a while, hollow and moving through a broken existance. His heart had been beating, his lungs breathing for him when he would have otherwise forgotten to.

The hanyou pulled himself over to his bed, dragging a pillow off the soft surface and holding it to him. Leaning on the frame of his resting place, he saw the dresser, numerous photos adorning it. There were his parents, Inutaisho and Izayoi. He'd never known his father, though he looked a great deal like Sesshoumaru. He was supposed to have been even more powerful, though to what extent Inuyasha couldn't fathom. And his mother...she'd been best friends with Kagome's own. That was how the hanyou and ningen met, through their mothers. Her expression was sweet and bright in the picture, volumous robes not doing her beautiful eyes and long ebony hair justice. His father, too, was dressed up; it had been their wedding day, and they had dressed up as they would have during Sengoku Jidai.

Next to that photo was a shot of Inuyasha and Kagome, as young children. Only about 5 or 6, taken just before his mother had died. Inuyasha sat in the dog-like position, clearly irritated by the camera, wearing shorts, a t-shirt, and a worn pair of sneakers. Kagome looked happy - she'd always enjoyed taking pictures - in a blue summer dress and brown sandles, standing beside him. Her smile was cute and cheerful, that of a child who knew nothing of the pain in life. But by then, both had lost their fathers, and knew pain. Even back then, she knew how to hide behind a smile.

The third was of Kikyou in her priestess uniform, a broom in hand. Her smile, the smile that had melted his heart more than once, was warm in the summer sun, long hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. It hadn't been any special occasion when the shot had been taken; perhaps she had just been happier than usual. Such a pity she would never smile that way again.

Inuyasha buried his face into the pillow, looking at the door when he heard footsteps coming toward his room. He expected his grandfather, the man who'd raised him after his mother died, but was hardly surprised when it turned out to be Kagome's voice. She wasn't one to cut class, but her heart was too big to just let him run alone.

He licked his lips, swallowing once or twice before he could speak. When he did, it was still a bit weak and shaky. Not a voice he used often.

"It's open..."

He couldn't get angry at her. Not after she cut class for him, not after she helped him out when Kikyou had died, not after Kagome had been, well...Kagome.