Disclaimer: Harry Potter and his world belong to J.K. Rowling and her assorted publishers, not to me.
Spoilers: All five HP novels.
GUARDIANSHIP (Meetings VI: Albus and Alastor, Remus and Harry)
(Tuesday, day after Heads-of-House meeting, 9 July)
"Alastor, I am glad you could come see me today." Albus Dumbledore gestured to the old Auror to take a seat.
His guest sat. "What's on your mind, Albus? You're worried about something, and it isn't just the usual." Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody preferred to get directly to the point.
"Something definitely is: it's Harry Potter," Dumbledore replied.
"What? Is it the wards, or those Muggles…if Dursley is ignoring my plain warning…" Moody subsided at Dumbledore's placating gestures.
"It's Harry himself: he is here at Hogwarts, and cannot be returned to the Dursleys," the Headmaster replied. "And no, it isn't anything you failed to do. They did not treat him any worse than they ever did. But he had written to both Severus and myself, asking us for the training he needs to do his part in the War.
Remus, Severus and I went to his house on Sunday to give him some books and confer on some questions he raised. However, there was an incident involving his cousin and the Muggle police, and now all their neighbors know that the Dursleys have been lying about Harry for fifteen years—telling them that he goes to a school for criminal delinquents. Harry handled the entire matter with far more grace and courage than he should ever have had to. What he did not realize is that he has not sufficiently recovered from the Ministry events. He was just short of totally losing control—emotionally and magically. That he did not is a tribute to him. The Dursleys would be giving him no support at all; they were not aware of what happened--mainly because he told them nothing, knowing that they would not help him."
"But he wrote us faithfully every three days…were those lies?" asked Moody.
"No, they were not lies; merely not all of the truth," Dumbledore replied. "He has just barely begun to come to terms with what happened last month; but in fact he was merely shoving it down inside. He wants now very badly to do what he has been foreseen to do: and he is nowhere nearly ready."
"So you want me to help train him," Moody said, in a quieter version of his usual gruff tones.
"More than that, Alastor: I need a new guardian for him. I managed to persuade the Dursleys to sign a waiver of guardianship in my favor; they do not want him, and he cannot heal enough to even start training if he is still there. Severus, Remus and I all agreed that the neglect from his relatives was bad enough in his current condition to offset the immunity of the Blood Charm; we packed him up and took him out of there Sunday. He is still here, in Remus' suite."
Moody whistled softly. "That bad, huh?" He turned the matter over in his mind for a few minutes, and then latched onto one item that had been said. "What's Snape have to do with this?"
"He is one of the people to whom Harry wrote, asking for more training; in his case for more lessons in Occlumency," Dumbledore replied. "I am the other. Actually, Harry has done us far more of a favor than he realizes: what he wrote in his letter to Severus was, in part, an offer to settle the feud between them. What he wrote in both our letters, if not always so explicitly, was an urgent plea not to waste more time on pointless side issues, such as feuds with the dead, when there is a war to be won. Severus was so shocked, in fact, that he actually went to Remus for advice as to the genuineness of Harry's letter; he ended up offering a truce with Remus."
"Wait—you said Snape offered the truce, and not Lupin?" Moody queried suspiciously.
"Indeed he did," Dumbledore replied. "And not only that: at Harry's house, he accepted a formal release-of-obligation on the Life-Debts they owe each other—in Severus' case, to James Potter—and Remus and I witnessed it. But the truly amazing thing was that Fawkes also witnessed and endorsed it, too." He smiled. "It was a beautiful thing to see, too. As I told them then, I have seen few Phoenix witnessings, and none save Order oaths in at least half a century. It would appear that Fawkes agrees with Harry and Severus making peace, so that we can get on with more urgent matters."
"And if either of them had been false, he wouldn't have done it, would he?"
"As far as I know, that is correct." Dumbledore reached over and petted the Phoenix, who trilled softly in return. "Fawkes has always been fond of Harry, anyway; he would not do anything against him." He turned back to Moody, and met the Auror's gaze. "I have been telling you all along that I trust Severus; this has only confirmed my trust."
"He's a hard man to trust," returned Moody. "He may be sincere now, but what about later? What if Riddle manages to make him a better offer?"
"There is not now any offer that Tom could make him, or threat he could use, that would turn Severus from his purpose, which is to help bring Tom down," Dumbledore replied quietly. "We had a long talk this weekend. Harry's letter to him managed something that I did not think any of the rest of us could have done, not even I: it found and spoke to a deep and urgent need in him to get this War over and done with."
He met the other man's eyes; there was no twinkle in his own. "Severus is weary, Alastor, more so than he will ever admit: he is tired of groveling to Tom, more than tired of the torture; tired of the double and triple game he has to play so carefully, with the lives of the students in his House in the balance. He does what he does as much for them as for me, because he sees a repeat of his own school years, during Tom's first rise, and knows what will happen to some of them—and he does not want that. He does not expect to survive this war; in fact, he believes that once the prisoners are freed—and they will be—his spying will be uncovered sooner rather than later. So, he feels he has nothing left to lose by throwing his entire effort into our cause, and he will give nothing more to Riddle that what he absolutely must."
He closed his eyes for a few moments, and then opened them and met Moody's again. "For what it's worth, I agree with both of them: I too am feeling an urgent need to get plans laid sooner rather than later. As I realized at dinner last week, and as I told my House Heads yesterday: if this second war with Tom is not to be as long, bloody and cruel as the first one was, we must bring it to a conclusion within the next few years—not more than three, by my estimate—and make it a final conclusion. And Harry now knows that it is he who must make an end of Tom, because, as you and others have surmised, he is indeed the Prophecy Child."
"Which makes him the single most important person on our side," Moody agreed. "Hell of a load for a kid not yet sixteen."
"Indeed," Dumbledore replied sadly. "My dearest wish for something which I know I cannot have is to be the one rather than Harry. While he has, or will have, the power to vanquish Tom, unfortunately the reverse is not ruled out. However, nothing in the prophecy states that others may not have a hand in hurting Tom. Harry is nowhere near ready for such a confrontation now, and he knows it; that is why he has asked for the training. He wishes to make an end of this matter, so that he may have a chance for a life again; and what is far more important to him, so that his friends and loved ones will be safe and have lives."
He turned away a little; Moody thought he saw a slight shimmer in the old blue eyes that was not the usual twinkle. "Harry is completely willing to hazard or even sacrifice his life to bring about Tom's end. To that end, he is forcing himself to put aside everything else in his life to train for that goal. He is not ready for that; he is still hurting from last month, and he badly needs support. He needs a new guardian who will give him that support, and also support him as a Hogwarts student, which he must also continue to be. More, he needs a guardian who understands what he has been through, what he is fighting against, and for, and what he needs. That is what I am asking of you today: are you willing to be Harry's guardian in place of the Dursleys?"
Moody was stunned. "Why me, Albus? I'm not parent material, and I can't give him the family love that he truly needs. He needs family, not a crusty old grouch like me. I can certainly train him."
"I think you could learn to do that, Alastor," said Dumbledore, still quietly. "As much as he needs that, he needs respect and support more. Truly, I've thought over everyone in the Order as possibilities. I cannot, for what should be obvious reasons; I have too many responsibilities as it is. Minerva is his Head of House; there are conflicts of responsibility there, and I will also be relying on her much more as my Deputy this year. I seriously thought of Filius, but he doesn't really know Harry well enough yet, even after five years of teaching him. Neither does Pomona, and she also has no combat experience; she will not understand all that he will need. Both of them have House responsibilities as well. Remus would be my first choice, as he is named so in fact in Sirius' will; but the current laws forbid it; the most he can be is a co-guardian with a non-lycanthrope. The Weasleys would be my first choice if this were peacetime; but this is wartime, and Molly would never allow him what he needs. She loves him too much, as I do; in a non-guardian role, she can still give him the mother love he so badly craves and needs."
He stopped, took a slow breath, let it out, and continued. "Severus is totally out of the question; I cannot think of a faster way to lose along with Harry not only our spy, but my most effective undercover helper and guardian for those Slytherins who do not support Tom. Arabella would have to be relocated; she is too close to the Dursleys, and their insufferable neighbors, for Harry's safety, and she cannot defend him. I am thinking of bringing her and her cats to Hogwarts as a second caretaker with Argus, anyway; with Harry out of the neighborhood, she has no more reason to stay there, and every reason to come to a safer location. The adult Weasley sons see Harry as a younger brother, when he needs a parent. Tonks does as well, and is an active-duty Auror; having Harry will draw too much attention to her from the Ministry. The same applies to Kingsley, although he is enough older; besides they are both at constant risk, and Harry does not need the constant worry. None of the rest of the suitable members of the Order knows him at all well, and I cannot and will not give him to someone outside the Order; too much is at stake."
Moody was silent for a few minutes. "I'm not exactly risk-free myself, Albus," he reminded. "Potter tends to care a lot about people, and I'd hate to see him get attached to me, then lose me."
"I thought about that factor for quite a few of the Order," Dumbledore replied. "But none of us can tell Harry not to care, when that is in fact one of his best defenses against Tom. You take more and better precautions than most, so you are more likely to survive. You will not be afraid to tell Harry when he's wrong. And you have one other advantage: all the experience of an Auror, but not on active duty; you have the time both to train him and to be with him."
"Have you asked him?"
"No; I wished to have someone ready and willing beforehand. I would like to settle all of this before his birthday at the end of the month. In any case, as far as the legalities go, this would only need to be for one year; Harry turns seventeen this time next year and will be a legal adult in our world. But he will still need family after then."
Moody was silent for a minute or two; when he spoke, it was softer than usual. "A lot can happen in a year, Albus."
"I know," the older man answered, equally softly. "Let us hope for a good year, then, and arrange the happenings as much to our needs as we may." He straightened up in his chair. "Will you do this, or do you wish to think on the matter a while?"
Moody remained silent for another minute or two, and then looked up. "I'll do it, Albus," he said. "If Potter agrees, we can do the paperwork whenever you're ready. And I do think that we'll be on firmer ground if Lupin is on the papers as co-guardian; he's a damn decent man for all that he's a Werewolf. If I know Sirius Black, his will would have been pretty straightforward about that."
"That we will find out for certain later this week, as we have a meeting with the Goblins," Dumbledore replied. "In any case, you will not have to support Harry on your Auror's pension; he has enough Potter and Black money to take care of all three of you and the Black House as well." He smiled. "Suppose I call in Remus now, as he is supposed to have a say in whomever I select; then we will call in Harry."
When the Werewolf had joined the other two men in Dumbledore's office, and the tea had been poured, the Headmaster went straight to the point.
"Remus, I will not be positive until I've seen it in writing, but I believe you are named as Harry's guardian in Sirius' Will. He wrote it recently enough to be cognizant of the current laws, so I also believe that you have veto power over whoever is assigned as your co-guardian. As I am the custodian of his guardianship, it falls to me to make the selection. Would Alastor be acceptable to you as Harry's new co-guardian?"
Lupin's eyebrows rose; he looked over at Moody. "Did you volunteer, or did Albus ask you?" he inquired.
"Albus asked me. Frankly, I had never thought of the idea myself, but the more I think of it, the better I like it," Moody replied. "The boy needs someone who will neither wrap him in cotton-wool nor throw him into the deep end. He also needs emotional support; that's where you come in, and we can get Molly for part of it. Having her not be the guardian will keep her from objecting to the training Potter needs, and still leave her able to give him mothering when he does need it."
Moody looked directly at Lupin with both eyes; the magical one was still and focused. "I've already pledged to defend the boy with my life; this will just give me more reason to. And as I told Albus, you're a damned decent man despite your problem, and Potter needs you, too; I don't object to sharing. You'd need someone to spell you for Full Moon times, anyway."
Lupin closed his eyes for a few moments, then opened them and turned to Dumbledore. "I have no objection, if Harry agrees," he said quietly. "I want only what is best for him, and in these times, your choices are more limited. Indeed, Harry and I discussed just this subject yesterday, but neither of us thought of Alastor; we were more focused on whom we could not have."
"I will wager a Knut or two that your list of unacceptable choices and mine were not so far apart," Dumbledore suggested wryly.
"No bet, Albus," Lupin returned easily. "We are both realists; we both want Harry to have all that he needs, and what is best for him. We know who is available, and who is not. Now, all we have to do is see if Harry is willing."
"Yes," Dumbledore agreed. "After last month, and after the letters he wrote us, I think he would be more upset with us if we did not give him a voice in something so major."
Lupin nodded. "It's as Severus put it to me Friday evening: '…he will no longer accept deception, protection, or half-measures'. Do you wish to call him, or shall I?"
Dumbledore gestured silently to the fireplace, and Remus fire-called Harry up to the Headmaster's office.
Harry arrived in the office, and found another chair had been set out for him. "Hi, Mad-Eye," he greeted Moody. "What brings you here?"
"You do, Potter," Moody replied, with a grimace that would have been a smile on anyone else.
Harry sighed as he sat down into the chair. "Why am I not surprised?" he asked of no one in particular. "What have I done or forgotten now?"
Lupin smiled. "Do you remember the discussion we had yesterday, about who should be your guardian with me?" he asked Harry.
"Yes," Harry replied. "I think we eliminated quite a few people, and frankly I can't think of anyone else who'd want me, and whom I'd want, who'd be safe having me."
"Well," Dumbledore smiled, "I have found you someone who is willing to take on your care, who will work fairly with Remus, who will let the Weasleys love you as much as you need without being smothered or babied, and who has enough skill and power himself to teach and protect you. He is also in the Order and is quite competent to be your surrogate parent and, if you will let him, a friend." His smile dimmed only a little, as he grew serious. "Harry, I am Sirius' executor, and trustee of your share of his estate for so long as you are a minor. While it falls to me to select your guardian, you are old enough to have a say in it. If my selection is not satisfactory, then we can look elsewhere. So—will you be willing to accept Alastor Moody as your new co-guardian?"
Harry stared at the retired Auror. "You, Sir?" he choked out. The thought of having Moody as his new guardian had never even crossed his mind.
Moody's grimace of a smile widened. "Yes, me," he replied with a gruff chuckle. "What? Did you think I'm not up to it?"
Harry shook his head. "No, it's that…well, this isn't quite what I thought we'd be doing," he said slowly. "I was going to ask you for training, but this is somewhat more than I expected."
Both Moody's blue magical eye and the dark normal one were now fixed on Harry. "Who is better to consent to your training that the one who is going to do it? Who's better to protect you than one who has been there, and who will be living with you? And, who's better to train and guard you, than one who knows what you have to do, and who can help you to get there?"
"I don't know," Harry replied. The implications of this unexpected development were making his head spin. "I mean…are you sure you want to? I don't want someone stuck with me just because they have to or something; I've had enough of that in my life."
"Potter—or if I'm to be your guardian, Harry—I'll be the first to admit that this was Albus' idea," Moody admitted. "But I like your spirit, I know what you're up against; I'd be honored to be your guardian. I've no family of my own left; the Order is as close as I get. You've no family worth mentioning, bar Remus. I'm willing to take you, if you're willing to have me, and don't you dare call it anything forced; you know that even Albus can't force me to do anything I don't want to do. I'll admit I'm not sweet, and I'll leave most of the emotional support to Remus, or to Molly Weasley if you really need mothering. I promise I'll be reasonable about most things, and for anything I tell you to do that you don't understand, I'll try to give reasons at least afterwards. If you want blunt truth, I'm better at that than any candy-coating, and frankly I think you've had enough of that."
"And you won't lie, or hide things because you think that I can't accept them?"
"As much as possible. Rather than lie, I'll just tell you that I can't speak of some things. Until you're fully trained in Occlumency, I have to keep my own counsel about some matters. But I think you're old enough now to be much more in the information loop than you were, especially in regards to your own training and mission."
"There is this also," Dumbledore put in. "One of the suggestions Harry made to us in my letter from him was to form a junior Order, for those who are currently underage but have abilities we can use. I intend to do just that; you, along with other adult Order members, will be tasked with their training. The first six to be invited in will be those who were in the Ministry last month; they will be far more at risk than ever. The junior Order, while it will still be secret, will also be the core of the DA at Hogwarts. Even with Remus and Severus both teaching Defense, it still would not be amiss to have you there at least part-time to advise both the Order and the DA."
Moody sat up straighter. "Wait a minute—Lupin and Snape both teaching Defense? You're getting pretty serious over here, aren't you? And who's going to get Potions?"
"For the last, I do not know yet; in any case, Severus will still have the upper years," Dumbledore answered. His expression was now much more serious. "For the rest of it—Alastor, I am preparing for war. You know it is here and so does the rest of the Order. Apart from my other responsibilities, my mandate as Headmaster here is the safety and security of Hogwarts, and of everyone who inhabits this school. To that end, I am preparing my school for the war as well. As I told my House Heads yesterday, I think an attack on the school is quite possible: not now, perhaps, but within a year or so. I do not intend to be unprepared; some of my preparations include additional staff, more training in Defense and not just for the students, and laying up extra supplies that might be needed. This is why I have also inducted Filius and Pomona into the Order; we need more members at the school. With Minerva injured and Hagrid and me both gone that night, Severus was the only one Harry could turn to, and their shared history made it almost too late." He turned back to Harry. "Be that as it may, we are getting off the subject. Harry, do you wish more time to decide? This is a major decision for your life, even if it's only for the one remaining year of your Wizarding minority."
Harry was silent for a few minutes; the others did not push him. "I'll have him, if he's willing to put up with me," he said finally. "But I want a few conditions."
"You may state them," Dumbledore said. "Whether we accept them or not is a matter for discussion."
"Fair enough," Harry replied. "First: if they are both on the papers as my legal guardians, then either of them can sign any of my paperwork needed, right?" At nods from all three, he continued. "Then I want Mr. Moody to be with us when we deal with Sirius' will. I'm probably going to need someone to explain the paperwork and stuff about whatever Sirius may have left me."
"That is acceptable," Dumbledore replied calmly. "As a matter of fact, I believe he will be there anyway, if Sirius left him anything."
Harry nodded. "Second: if we're really preparing for war at Hogwarts, then I intend to be involved as much as possible. Please, Sir, don't hold me back in the name of protecting me; call it instead part of my training."
"You will be involved, Harry," Dumbledore assured him. "For example, you will be leading an expedition this summer into the Chamber of Secrets; unless Fawkes takes us, you are the only one who can get us into it. I intend to thoroughly explore the Chamber; I must know whether there are any other entrances, or any other rooms in it. Also, I will ask of you a major favor: I would like to borrow the Marauders' Map. If four students can create such a wonder, then one of them teamed with Filius Flitwick could surely make a newer, better one." His eyes grew thoughtful. "Can you see a command center for the defense of the school, centered around a strategy table based on an advanced version of the Map?"
"Yes, Sir," Harry replied. "I'm willing to do so—if it's used for that purpose, and not to give the Professors a too-easy way to catch snoggers in the broom closets." That brought snickers from Lupin and Dumbledore, and a near-smile from Moody.
"I don't know, lad," the ex-Auror commented slowly. "I can't think of a better way to continue constant vigilance!" More snickers came from the other adults at Moody's favorite catchphrase; Harry couldn't help a light smile of his own.
"If it's used for that purpose," Lupin said quietly, after he stopped snickering, "I, as the last available member of the Marauders who created the Map, am willing to give permission—so long as it is clear that the original Map remains the property of Harry and myself, and will be returned to us when you are done with it." He turned to Harry. "What say you? As the current owner, and as the heir of Mr. Prongs, you have an equal say."
"I agree," Harry replied. "We need to know if we are getting infiltrated, and the Map is the best way I know to find out." He turned to Dumbledore. "I don't know if you know it, but the Map also sees through Polyjuice, Animagi, and Invisibility Cloaks. It also recognizes some other people, and will address them, if they attempt to make it work without the password." He and Lupin both smiled a little, remembering Professor Snape's attempt to make the Map work in Harry's third year, and the insults the Map had shown instead.
"Then I will leave it to you and Remus to teach us what we need to know," Dumbledore replied. "In turn, I will restrict the use of the Map to those who need it to make another, which will be Professor Flitwick, Professor McGonagall, and Remus here; and to those who will be making use of it to explore the school, which will be all of those here present, Professor Snape, and the Weasley twins. Except for Argus Filch, those I have mentioned have the most knowledge of the school; Professor Snape has more knowledge of the dungeon levels than anyone else except Argus, who as a Squib cannot make use of the Map."
"Oh, he probably could," Harry said, "if someone else casts the activating charm. But I'm not sure I trust him; after last year, when Umbridge was going to give him an Approval for Whipping on the twins, I refuse to trust him with the welfare of anyone I care about—and that includes you, Sir. Also, he might recognize the Map; he's the one who confiscated it from the Marauders back then, and it sat in his files until the Weasley twins…uh, found it there."
Dumbledore nodded. "Then he shall not be included in the Map use, although he will be helping me map the castle; I will not waste his considerable knowledge. For that matter, he is the only one I have mentioned who is not in the Order, and I think I shall restrict the Map to Order members only—including eligible Auxiliary Order." He gave Harry a smile that conveyed approval, and a willingness to treat Harry as an equal in the discussions.
"And again, we're off the subject, although all of this is important," Moody interjected. "Harry, are there any more conditions you want to put on either me or Albus for my accepting your guardianship?"
Harry was silent for a moment. "Yes, just one." He turned toward Moody; his eyes were now filled with misery. "Please, Sir—don't get killed, and three times over don't get killed for me. I can't bear losing anyone else right now, and it'll be far worse if they come to harm on my behalf. This is why I have to get trained up as fast as possible, so that we can make an end of this war, and nobody else has to die for me."
Silence reigned for a few minutes; then Moody spoke firmly. "Harry, one of the reasons Albus selected me is because I'm hard to kill. I'll do my damnedest to stay alive, but you have to remember that you are the focus of the war effort; we are all pledged to do whatever it takes to get you your victory—and that includes risking or even sacrificing our lives to keep you alive. I'll train you, I'll guide you, and if I can, I'll be there when the time comes: but destroying Riddle is far more important than my survival, and you know that. You're willing to hazard your life: that's all right; facing him will be nothing else but that. But you need to learn when to take risks, and how much, and when to stay out of the way and let someone else do something. We—Albus and Remus and I, and the other members of the Order—know what we are: we are all expendable, if that is what it takes to get you your victory; and the sooner you accept that, the easier it will be for you to work with us. This is wartime; there will be casualties. The only unacceptable casualty is you, until Tom Riddle is completely and thoroughly dead and can't be revived in any way again."
Harry bowed his head. "I know that. I don't have to like it. And it's hard enough to know that even if I do kill him, there might not be anyone else left to fight for afterwards, if you're all dying to get me to him. And what kind of world will we have left, if all the decent and good people are dead? That's not a world I'd want to live in."
"That is why all the rest of us will be fighting, too," Remus said gently. "None of us will go down without a fight; this I solemnly swear to you. We are risking our lives; we are not committing deliberate suicide. You will not be alone, and we will be handling all the rest of the opposing forces. There will be an afterwards, I promise, if you win. I know that he cannot get us all."
"And he will not. This I can promise you as well," Dumbledore added quietly. He stood, came around his desk, and pulled a chair up facing Harry's. He then took both the boy's hands in his own. "I am making plans for afterwards, even as I am planning the course of the war as best I can with the scanty intelligence I have, and the interference from the Ministry, who should be our strongest allies. I do not intend us to give battle to Tom until I know that we have a good chance for victory. This is why I am advancing matters now, while he is still disorganized and does not yet have his own best fighters back. This is why I am cultivating my sources in the Ministry, so that the Vultures are not the only ones left standing afterwards. This is why I am training my seconds, so that if even if I perish, we will still have leaders. This is why I am doing what I am doing for this school. Tom cannot take it while I live, and I intend to see to it that he cannot take it even if I do not." He let go with one hand, and tilted Harry's chin up so that their eyes met; he then laid his hand back on Harry's. "Please, Harry, let me handle the rest of it. Train as well as you can for your part, but let yourself have a life in the meantime. I told you last month that one of your greatest assets is the strength of your heart; don't lose it, but don't let your worry for the rest of us drive you to foolish choices. He cannot beat you, if you can remember how you drove him out this last time. Remus and Alastor will be there for you, and so will the rest of us."
"Even if I fail?" Harry asked bitterly. He could not look away from the sad blue eyes, as much as he wanted to.
"You will only have truly failed in this War if he kills you before you can kill him," Dumbledore replied softly. "Anything else is merely a delay in the victory. We will help you—all of us. You cannot lose us, you cannot turn us away from you, and you cannot persuade us that your and Tom's mutual destruction is the only way to win."
Harry's eyes stung. "How can you do it, Sir?" he cried out. "How can you run a war, knowing the cost, and still care so much? This isn't even your first time! How do you manage to stay sane? I know it hurts you, too—and you have so much more to worry about!"
It was Dumbledore who first looked away; his own eyes stung as well. He then turned back to meet Harry's eyes; when he spoke, it was with a deep intensity. He did not let go of Harry's hands. "I can do this, knowing the cost, because I know the much higher cost if I do not do this. It falls to me to do it, because I know how, because it isn't the first time, and because I care so much. I could not face myself if I fail to do what I must. And I maintain my sanity—well, what there is left of it, after all these years as a Headmaster—by living the rest of my life in between what I have to do for the war effort. I enjoy my friends and the time we spend together, because I do not know when it will be the last time. I refuse to sacrifice all of living my life to this war, because to do so will give Tom the advantage." He sat up straighter, and his voice grew more decisive. "And this I know: Tom Riddle can kill me perhaps, although it will be as difficult for him as I can make it, and I can make it very difficult; but I will not let him defeat me. There is a difference. And because I will not let Tom defeat me, I know in my own heart that you can destroy him. You may not yet know how, but you will when it is time. I have faith in you, and I know you will not let us down."
Another hand clasped one of both Dumbledore's and Harry's: Remus had left his seat and knelt on the floor next to Harry's. "Albus is right. You can do your part, and I will be there for you."
"As will I," Moody added. He was already sitting next to Harry; he twisted around and took the other pair of hands in his own. "You're a lot stronger than you think you are, and I say you'll come through just fine. And we aren't all going to die, either; you're underestimating the rest of us."
"I don't want any of you to die," Harry replied. "But I've already agreed to do my part. Just—just protect the rest of them, and I'll deal with protecting myself."
"Fair enough," Moody agreed. "I'll train you, Albus will oversee things, Remus and Snape will train your friends, and we'll win this." He squeezed the hands under his, and let go; after a moment, Lupin and Dumbledore did as well.
They all believe in me, Harry thought to himself. These trained, blooded and experienced fighters think I'm going to win this thing. I wish I had their faith. I wish I had all their skill, right now. Aloud, he said, "Thank you; I hope I will be worthy of your faith and trust."
"You will be, I know," Dumbledore replied, as he stood and returned to his desk. "Now, I think it is time for me to get out the forms for us all to sign for the guardianship; as I expect to hear from the Goblins any time, we need to get the documents in order."