~~ in some place not in Russia ~~
Asuka was watching TV in her shared apartment. While Kaji, not to Asuka's Knowledge, walks in.
Asuka: .............hmmm.......I think I'm gay.
Kaji: NOOOOO!!!! (mentally debates if raping Asuka is a good idea) hmmm.
Asuka: (notices Kaji's presence) hey Kaji, wanna have sex?
Kaji: Noo!!.wait what the hell? I thought you said you where gay?
Asuka: I am. But I thought you where a girl.
Kaji: I'm not a-er.^ this could work out for me.hehehe sex.hehehe^ well I would love to.
~~ at Nerv ~~
Shigeru: #your wondering who I am, machine or mannequin, with parts made in Japan, I'm the modern man! I've got this secret I've been hiding, under my skin, my heart is human, my blood is boiling my brain IBM. So if you see me acting strangely, Don't be surprised-#
Gendo: I'm just a man who needed someone and somewhere to hide to keep me alive!
Shigeru: #music still continues# The hell did you know that?!
Gendo: I just heard it playing.
Shigeru: O_O ^ Crap! He can hear my thoughts! That bastard! ^
Gendo: Hey!
Shigeru: Holy crap! (Runs away)
Gendo: Well, I have a meeting with SEELE to get to. (Walks away)
~~ On (Yo)Uranus ~~
Gendo (sitting down): I'm sorry-I got hit in the head with a guitar.it's been a weird week.I'm sorry.
SEELE 3: ^This thong is bunched up in my ass.^
Gendo: O_O
~~ Another Pointless sex scene ~~ (Got your damn attention didn't we?)
Use the sick imagination that you guys have.
~~ Back to Gendo ~~
Gendo: O_O
SEELE 2: What's wrong, Ikari?
SEELE 3: ^Probably wearing the same thong as me ^
Gendo (Clutches the desk): Our father who art in heaven, Holy be thy name.
SEELE 6: Ikari, your hands aren't over your mouth.this disturbs us ^ Now we have to see all his face. Damnit! ^
Gendo: I think I'm gonna leave now.
SEELE 1: Yea.we never do anything actually important in these meetings. ^Maybe next time we can get Ritsuko to come here naked ;) ^
Gendo (Slowly backing away) ummm gotta go! (he runs but crashes right into the pillar/monolith of Seele 9)
SEELE 9: Hey! Watch where you're going! ^Hmm hmm god save the queen.. Hmmm hmm hmm^
~~ On the outside of a mentos wrapper ~~
In the command center we see Misato and Makoto having a romping good time.
Misato: Ow! That move hurt my back!
Makoto: Let me just move my leg over a bit.ok
Misato: Ah! That hurts even more!
Makoto: Sorry. Maya, what do we do now.
Maya (Closes her book labeled 'Karma Sutra'): Oh um.it says.(looks over at the two)...right leg, yellow.
Makoto: Shit! (Falls over)
Misato: AH! (crash!)
Shigeru comes running in.
Shigeru: You guys I have some thing to tel-! (Sees the pile that is Makoto and Misato and Maya's book.) Oh Holy Lord in heaven!
Misato (Moaning): What?
Shigeru: Oh my god! (Goes running down the halls once again) SIN! ALL SIN!
Gendo (Walking up to the group): Ok you guys.I think I can read minds.
All:. ^must...contain...Laughter.^
Misato: ^Misato's theme is playing^
Gendo:.
All: ..
Gendo: ..
All: .....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Gendo: What?!
Misato (Sobering up): Ok, if you can read minds, what are we all thinking about?
All but Gendo: (agreeing murmur)
Gendo: (Listens for a few seconds): Rope, a Puppy, and what a pigeon and a Rat hybrid would look like.
Misato: wow. so far all I have come up with is Cher..
Makoto: That's cool! I love my little doggy!
Maya: (blush).....
Gendo: ... Sick bitch.
~~ Through that tour of hell ~~
Ritsuko: And to your left is the Rei clone tank.
Misato (Taking pictures): Wow! Cool!
Shinji: Way cool! (Climbs into the tank) Yes! SCORED!
Ritsuko (Not paying attention): And because Gendo loves them more than me, I will kill them.
Misato: That's just mean Ritsu! I mean, think of the money you could make whoring them out!
Ritsuko:...where do you think our budget comes from?
Shinji (Swimming with the Reis): YAY! \o/ I'm so happy! Asuka doesn't give me shit, and Father hates the crap outta me, but now he's gone insane and I'm here in this tank full of girls! Yes! Life IS beautiful!
Ritsuko pushes the 'kill all Rei clones' buttons, not noticing Shinji in there.
Shinji: Yea! Who's up for a sexy party! This is the grea- gggggllllurrrrrbbbb. *Dies*
(I just put in a line from my other Eva fic about 'sexy parties' :P)
Ritsuko: Now, who wants to see the NERV collection of The Beatles records?
Misato: Ooh me! I DO!
Ritsuko: Shinji? How 'bout you? .crap, that ain't good.
~~ at a corner drug store! ~~
Gendo (Looking at tiny bottle): So this will make me go back to normal?
Guy: Yea, works all the time.
Gendo (Happy): Well ok! Bye!
Guy: Dude! Ya gotta pay me!
Gendo: Fuck off.
Guy: ...(wails)
Gendo: Thought so. (Walks off)
~~ NERV ~~ (Sorry, ran out of catchy names for the scene)
Fuyutski: What happened to Shinji?!
Ritsuko (Nervous, like Rocko): Well, hehe, it's a funny story ya see. me, Misato, and Shinji all went to look at the Rei tanks-
Shigeru: You saw the Rei tanks without me?! You bitch!
Ritsuko: And proud of it! Anywho, I um.accidentally push the 'Do not push this button or else all the Rei's will die and you'll get yo' f*cking ass beat' button, and Shinji-I swear to God I didn't know, was in the tank.so he, and the Rei's died.
Fuyutski: So let me get this straight-you didn't care at all that the Rei's died but your all like 'I didn't know Shinji was in there' meaning that you we're planning on killing the Rei's?! Damnit Ritsuko! I had dibs on the Rei tank!
Ritsuko: Does it even friggin matter?! Gendo is gonna shoot me later in the movie!
All: Wha?
Ritsuko: I've said too much. (Pulls out gun, grabs Maya and runs off with her)
All: The hell. (Then everyone goes back to what they were doing: Porn reading, the game 'Risk', and watching a marathon of Monty Python.)
Ok, so that's it for this chapter. Yea. ~~ Skidlebop
Asuka was watching TV in her shared apartment. While Kaji, not to Asuka's Knowledge, walks in.
Asuka: .............hmmm.......I think I'm gay.
Kaji: NOOOOO!!!! (mentally debates if raping Asuka is a good idea) hmmm.
Asuka: (notices Kaji's presence) hey Kaji, wanna have sex?
Kaji: Noo!!.wait what the hell? I thought you said you where gay?
Asuka: I am. But I thought you where a girl.
Kaji: I'm not a-er.^ this could work out for me.hehehe sex.hehehe^ well I would love to.
~~ at Nerv ~~
Shigeru: #your wondering who I am, machine or mannequin, with parts made in Japan, I'm the modern man! I've got this secret I've been hiding, under my skin, my heart is human, my blood is boiling my brain IBM. So if you see me acting strangely, Don't be surprised-#
Gendo: I'm just a man who needed someone and somewhere to hide to keep me alive!
Shigeru: #music still continues# The hell did you know that?!
Gendo: I just heard it playing.
Shigeru: O_O ^ Crap! He can hear my thoughts! That bastard! ^
Gendo: Hey!
Shigeru: Holy crap! (Runs away)
Gendo: Well, I have a meeting with SEELE to get to. (Walks away)
~~ On (Yo)Uranus ~~
Gendo (sitting down): I'm sorry-I got hit in the head with a guitar.it's been a weird week.I'm sorry.
SEELE 3: ^This thong is bunched up in my ass.^
Gendo: O_O
~~ Another Pointless sex scene ~~ (Got your damn attention didn't we?)
Use the sick imagination that you guys have.
~~ Back to Gendo ~~
Gendo: O_O
SEELE 2: What's wrong, Ikari?
SEELE 3: ^Probably wearing the same thong as me ^
Gendo (Clutches the desk): Our father who art in heaven, Holy be thy name.
SEELE 6: Ikari, your hands aren't over your mouth.this disturbs us ^ Now we have to see all his face. Damnit! ^
Gendo: I think I'm gonna leave now.
SEELE 1: Yea.we never do anything actually important in these meetings. ^Maybe next time we can get Ritsuko to come here naked ;) ^
Gendo (Slowly backing away) ummm gotta go! (he runs but crashes right into the pillar/monolith of Seele 9)
SEELE 9: Hey! Watch where you're going! ^Hmm hmm god save the queen.. Hmmm hmm hmm^
~~ On the outside of a mentos wrapper ~~
In the command center we see Misato and Makoto having a romping good time.
Misato: Ow! That move hurt my back!
Makoto: Let me just move my leg over a bit.ok
Misato: Ah! That hurts even more!
Makoto: Sorry. Maya, what do we do now.
Maya (Closes her book labeled 'Karma Sutra'): Oh um.it says.(looks over at the two)...right leg, yellow.
Makoto: Shit! (Falls over)
Misato: AH! (crash!)
Shigeru comes running in.
Shigeru: You guys I have some thing to tel-! (Sees the pile that is Makoto and Misato and Maya's book.) Oh Holy Lord in heaven!
Misato (Moaning): What?
Shigeru: Oh my god! (Goes running down the halls once again) SIN! ALL SIN!
Gendo (Walking up to the group): Ok you guys.I think I can read minds.
All:. ^must...contain...Laughter.^
Misato: ^Misato's theme is playing^
Gendo:.
All: ..
Gendo: ..
All: .....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Gendo: What?!
Misato (Sobering up): Ok, if you can read minds, what are we all thinking about?
All but Gendo: (agreeing murmur)
Gendo: (Listens for a few seconds): Rope, a Puppy, and what a pigeon and a Rat hybrid would look like.
Misato: wow. so far all I have come up with is Cher..
Makoto: That's cool! I love my little doggy!
Maya: (blush).....
Gendo: ... Sick bitch.
~~ Through that tour of hell ~~
Ritsuko: And to your left is the Rei clone tank.
Misato (Taking pictures): Wow! Cool!
Shinji: Way cool! (Climbs into the tank) Yes! SCORED!
Ritsuko (Not paying attention): And because Gendo loves them more than me, I will kill them.
Misato: That's just mean Ritsu! I mean, think of the money you could make whoring them out!
Ritsuko:...where do you think our budget comes from?
Shinji (Swimming with the Reis): YAY! \o/ I'm so happy! Asuka doesn't give me shit, and Father hates the crap outta me, but now he's gone insane and I'm here in this tank full of girls! Yes! Life IS beautiful!
Ritsuko pushes the 'kill all Rei clones' buttons, not noticing Shinji in there.
Shinji: Yea! Who's up for a sexy party! This is the grea- gggggllllurrrrrbbbb. *Dies*
(I just put in a line from my other Eva fic about 'sexy parties' :P)
Ritsuko: Now, who wants to see the NERV collection of The Beatles records?
Misato: Ooh me! I DO!
Ritsuko: Shinji? How 'bout you? .crap, that ain't good.
~~ at a corner drug store! ~~
Gendo (Looking at tiny bottle): So this will make me go back to normal?
Guy: Yea, works all the time.
Gendo (Happy): Well ok! Bye!
Guy: Dude! Ya gotta pay me!
Gendo: Fuck off.
Guy: ...(wails)
Gendo: Thought so. (Walks off)
~~ NERV ~~ (Sorry, ran out of catchy names for the scene)
Fuyutski: What happened to Shinji?!
Ritsuko (Nervous, like Rocko): Well, hehe, it's a funny story ya see. me, Misato, and Shinji all went to look at the Rei tanks-
Shigeru: You saw the Rei tanks without me?! You bitch!
Ritsuko: And proud of it! Anywho, I um.accidentally push the 'Do not push this button or else all the Rei's will die and you'll get yo' f*cking ass beat' button, and Shinji-I swear to God I didn't know, was in the tank.so he, and the Rei's died.
Fuyutski: So let me get this straight-you didn't care at all that the Rei's died but your all like 'I didn't know Shinji was in there' meaning that you we're planning on killing the Rei's?! Damnit Ritsuko! I had dibs on the Rei tank!
Ritsuko: Does it even friggin matter?! Gendo is gonna shoot me later in the movie!
All: Wha?
Ritsuko: I've said too much. (Pulls out gun, grabs Maya and runs off with her)
All: The hell. (Then everyone goes back to what they were doing: Porn reading, the game 'Risk', and watching a marathon of Monty Python.)
Ok, so that's it for this chapter. Yea. ~~ Skidlebop