Continued from:
Skidlebop(stops and thinks about it):.you know what.. We COULD!
~~ NERV ~~
Gendo: (he is at his desk reading a book labeled: 'so you have a God complex, the book for ego maniacs and the supreme judges of the United States' {A/N: I'm kinda mad about the pledge of allegiance ruling...*loads Shot gun*}) I have yet to find out what Rei has been thinking... I need to know before I go insane!
Kaji: (walks by) ^[in the same tune as the meow mix song] sex, sex, sex, sex. Asuka and I had sex sex sex sex..^
Gendo: (getting annoyed at Kaji's singing, and that Asuka was one of HIS bitches, he puts his book down and puts on the best pleasant face he could manage..this means it was as subtle as Mona Lisa's smile) hey Kaji. meet me in the lower levels later on...
Kaji: ^still singing^ the place with the giant fan and the spooky corridor?
Gendo: (glaring with his eyes)..yes....
Kaji: ok! ^_^ ^wow, that was a tiring conversation..I need to relax..I know!^....where is Asuka, sir?
Gendo: (starts to clench his teeth and hands)......(and then in an awsome show of masuclan yelling Gendo flew out of his chair pointing at Kaji) GAH!!! I HAVE NO TIME FOR YOU! (decides that killing him in the spooky corridor will take too much time and throws Fuyutski at him, who has been standing there all day.I'm not going to tell you what he has been thinking.) DIE!
~~~ In Shinji's room ~~~
We find out hero infront of a large planning board with what looks like a family tree, some coffee stains, pictures of Rei, pictures of his mother, and articles/medical journals on marriage within families. Shinji stares at the board and turns away from the board facing a chair
Shinji: so Ritsuko..what do you think?
Ritsuko is tied up in a chair with a sock in her mouth looking terrified. Shinji then walked up to her and took the sock out and listened to what she had to say.
Ritsuko: *Gasp!*..she's only half of your mother..so she's kinda like a cousin or something.
Shinji: (is contemplating what she said and the article that said that sex between 1st cousins was genetically ok.)...hmmm.. thank you doctor. (he then grabbed a bottle of chloroform and a rag)
~~~ in hell ~~~
Gendo was walking down through the 8th ring of hell on his way to the 9th ring for his weekly appointment.
Gendo: so Satan Jr., how are the piano lessons going?
Pepito, son of the devil: ok. seeing as Elton John is down here with us. Here we are. The 9th ring.
Gendo: thanks Pepito.
Gendo walks up to the tea table in the center of the lake of fire {co-A/N: ok, I know it was a lake of ice in the 'Divine Comedy'! Just lay off my case! Arg!!}
Gendo: how's it going?
Satan:.good..so how's my favorite lawyer doing? {Co-A/N: I'm watching the devil's advocate, Al Pacino could do a good Gendo.}..so..(gets nervous).how's the case going with the IRS?
Gendo: well..the IRS has God on their side. right now we are fighting them in..er...court...yeah.
{thought the IRS was from the devil didn't ya!?}
~~ At NERV ~~
Ritsuko (Walks into the Command Center): People, I have something to say.and its through music and dance!
All: Yay!
Ritsuko (Points to Shigeru whom opens up his mouth, thus music comes out. Ritsuko tears off her clothes to be wearing the same costume as Dr. Frank-N- Furter from 'tRHPS', and starts singing to the music): How do you do
I see you've met my faithful handyman- (Ritsuko points to Maya who jumps 3 feet in the air to hear her 'special name' used in public)
She's just a little brought down because
When you knocked
He thought you were the candyman
(Everyone in the Command Center looks at each other then at Ritsuko, and then at Asuka who's carrying candy and beer.)
Ritsuko: Don't get strung out by the way I look
Don't judge a book by its cover
I'm not much of a man by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover- (music stops)
Ritsuko: Isn't that right.(She does a smile to everyone she's been with, including, Gendo, Misato, Asuka, Maya, Kaji-Shrine) Kaji.you will be missed.(she lowers her head.)
All: (all bow their heads in remembrance of Kaji, the man with a first name that went unused.)
Ritsuko: (continuing). then there was Shigeru, that one guy at the-
All: Shigeru?!?!?!
Shigeru (Nervous laugh): Well what can I say. (Glares at Maya and talks harsher) Maya's a LESBO!!!!!
All: (Agreeing murmur)
Ritsuko: Hey bitch! Keep up with the music! (whips Shigeru)
Shigeru (Remembering the horrible, horrible night where Ritsuko wanted to play 'Rough'): Yes Mistress!
Ritsuko (continues singing):I'm just a sweet transvestite
All (As backup singers): Sweet transvestite!
Ritsuko: From Transsexual, Transylvania Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound
You look like you're both pretty groovy
Or if you want something visual
That's not too abysmal
We could take in an old Steeve Reeves movie
Fuyutski (Comes in totally oblivious to the whole entire singing musical going on below, and comes up to Gendo whose sleeping under his desk/house/fort/Willy Wonka elevator. Fuyutski, soaking wet, with Rei..ain...and talks to Gendo): I'm glad we caught you at home
Could we use your phone?
We're both in a bit of a hurry
(points to Rei #54 from tank C who is chained to Fuyutski)
We'll just say where we are
Then go back to the car
We don't want to be any worry
Fuyutski (Breaks into his own song and dance about having sex with the Rei/Yui thing that's standing next to him with only a skirt and bra for 'UNEXPLAINED' reasons): ^ I like big butts and I can not lie you other brothers can't deny--^
Gendo: Shut up.
Fuyutski: (looks around confused because he wasn't saying anything out- loud).
Ok back to the song, people ^_^
Ritsuko: I could show you my favorite obsession
I've been making a man (Shows a 'Rocky' version of Kaji over in the corner of the room in a tank of LCL)
With blonde hair and a tan
Misato: (interrupting the song while looking at the tank with 'Kaji'): something's..different.like something's bigger?
Makoto: (looking also)..like his feet are bigger.
Misato: and ya know what that means!
Makoto: BIG SHOES!*
Ritsuko(stating the next line)And he's good for relieving my tension!
(everyone is looking around uneasily. And backing away from the tank with Kaji in it)
Ritsuko(singing again): I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transsexual, Transylvania
Hit it! Hit it!
I'm just a sweet transvestite (end song. I know it's not the end of the song, but I got too lazy to keep and copy and paste the words to the song. :P)
*that joke was from a friend of mine, Josh. Thanks. Use it where you see fit in dinner conversations with your family!
All (Look around slightly uncomfortable): .
Misato: Well, that kinda explains a lot, actually.
All: (Agreeing murmur)
Yay! End chapter!!!
~~ NERV ~~
Gendo: (he is at his desk reading a book labeled: 'so you have a God complex, the book for ego maniacs and the supreme judges of the United States' {A/N: I'm kinda mad about the pledge of allegiance ruling...*loads Shot gun*}) I have yet to find out what Rei has been thinking... I need to know before I go insane!
Kaji: (walks by) ^[in the same tune as the meow mix song] sex, sex, sex, sex. Asuka and I had sex sex sex sex..^
Gendo: (getting annoyed at Kaji's singing, and that Asuka was one of HIS bitches, he puts his book down and puts on the best pleasant face he could manage..this means it was as subtle as Mona Lisa's smile) hey Kaji. meet me in the lower levels later on...
Kaji: ^still singing^ the place with the giant fan and the spooky corridor?
Gendo: (glaring with his eyes)..yes....
Kaji: ok! ^_^ ^wow, that was a tiring conversation..I need to relax..I know!^....where is Asuka, sir?
Gendo: (starts to clench his teeth and hands)......(and then in an awsome show of masuclan yelling Gendo flew out of his chair pointing at Kaji) GAH!!! I HAVE NO TIME FOR YOU! (decides that killing him in the spooky corridor will take too much time and throws Fuyutski at him, who has been standing there all day.I'm not going to tell you what he has been thinking.) DIE!
~~~ In Shinji's room ~~~
We find out hero infront of a large planning board with what looks like a family tree, some coffee stains, pictures of Rei, pictures of his mother, and articles/medical journals on marriage within families. Shinji stares at the board and turns away from the board facing a chair
Shinji: so Ritsuko..what do you think?
Ritsuko is tied up in a chair with a sock in her mouth looking terrified. Shinji then walked up to her and took the sock out and listened to what she had to say.
Ritsuko: *Gasp!*..she's only half of your mother..so she's kinda like a cousin or something.
Shinji: (is contemplating what she said and the article that said that sex between 1st cousins was genetically ok.)...hmmm.. thank you doctor. (he then grabbed a bottle of chloroform and a rag)
~~~ in hell ~~~
Gendo was walking down through the 8th ring of hell on his way to the 9th ring for his weekly appointment.
Gendo: so Satan Jr., how are the piano lessons going?
Pepito, son of the devil: ok. seeing as Elton John is down here with us. Here we are. The 9th ring.
Gendo: thanks Pepito.
Gendo walks up to the tea table in the center of the lake of fire {co-A/N: ok, I know it was a lake of ice in the 'Divine Comedy'! Just lay off my case! Arg!!}
Gendo: how's it going?
Satan:.good..so how's my favorite lawyer doing? {Co-A/N: I'm watching the devil's advocate, Al Pacino could do a good Gendo.}..so..(gets nervous).how's the case going with the IRS?
Gendo: well..the IRS has God on their side. right now we are fighting them in..er...court...yeah.
{thought the IRS was from the devil didn't ya!?}
~~ At NERV ~~
Ritsuko (Walks into the Command Center): People, I have something to say.and its through music and dance!
All: Yay!
Ritsuko (Points to Shigeru whom opens up his mouth, thus music comes out. Ritsuko tears off her clothes to be wearing the same costume as Dr. Frank-N- Furter from 'tRHPS', and starts singing to the music): How do you do
I see you've met my faithful handyman- (Ritsuko points to Maya who jumps 3 feet in the air to hear her 'special name' used in public)
She's just a little brought down because
When you knocked
He thought you were the candyman
(Everyone in the Command Center looks at each other then at Ritsuko, and then at Asuka who's carrying candy and beer.)
Ritsuko: Don't get strung out by the way I look
Don't judge a book by its cover
I'm not much of a man by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover- (music stops)
Ritsuko: Isn't that right.(She does a smile to everyone she's been with, including, Gendo, Misato, Asuka, Maya, Kaji-Shrine) Kaji.you will be missed.(she lowers her head.)
All: (all bow their heads in remembrance of Kaji, the man with a first name that went unused.)
Ritsuko: (continuing). then there was Shigeru, that one guy at the-
All: Shigeru?!?!?!
Shigeru (Nervous laugh): Well what can I say. (Glares at Maya and talks harsher) Maya's a LESBO!!!!!
All: (Agreeing murmur)
Ritsuko: Hey bitch! Keep up with the music! (whips Shigeru)
Shigeru (Remembering the horrible, horrible night where Ritsuko wanted to play 'Rough'): Yes Mistress!
Ritsuko (continues singing):I'm just a sweet transvestite
All (As backup singers): Sweet transvestite!
Ritsuko: From Transsexual, Transylvania Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound
You look like you're both pretty groovy
Or if you want something visual
That's not too abysmal
We could take in an old Steeve Reeves movie
Fuyutski (Comes in totally oblivious to the whole entire singing musical going on below, and comes up to Gendo whose sleeping under his desk/house/fort/Willy Wonka elevator. Fuyutski, soaking wet, with Rei..ain...and talks to Gendo): I'm glad we caught you at home
Could we use your phone?
We're both in a bit of a hurry
(points to Rei #54 from tank C who is chained to Fuyutski)
We'll just say where we are
Then go back to the car
We don't want to be any worry
Fuyutski (Breaks into his own song and dance about having sex with the Rei/Yui thing that's standing next to him with only a skirt and bra for 'UNEXPLAINED' reasons): ^ I like big butts and I can not lie you other brothers can't deny--^
Gendo: Shut up.
Fuyutski: (looks around confused because he wasn't saying anything out- loud).
Ok back to the song, people ^_^
Ritsuko: I could show you my favorite obsession
I've been making a man (Shows a 'Rocky' version of Kaji over in the corner of the room in a tank of LCL)
With blonde hair and a tan
Misato: (interrupting the song while looking at the tank with 'Kaji'): something's..different.like something's bigger?
Makoto: (looking also)..like his feet are bigger.
Misato: and ya know what that means!
Makoto: BIG SHOES!*
Ritsuko(stating the next line)And he's good for relieving my tension!
(everyone is looking around uneasily. And backing away from the tank with Kaji in it)
Ritsuko(singing again): I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transsexual, Transylvania
Hit it! Hit it!
I'm just a sweet transvestite (end song. I know it's not the end of the song, but I got too lazy to keep and copy and paste the words to the song. :P)
*that joke was from a friend of mine, Josh. Thanks. Use it where you see fit in dinner conversations with your family!
All (Look around slightly uncomfortable): .
Misato: Well, that kinda explains a lot, actually.
All: (Agreeing murmur)
Yay! End chapter!!!