Chapter 2 - Regret

Tohru stood in the kitchen, limply holding a butcher knife at her side. She stared at the vegetables on the cutting board, her face blank, but her mind reeling.

She could not believe how stupid and selfish she had been to Kyo. He must be so mad at me she thought, her eyes watering over a bit. And I was the one who had decided… her thoughts melded into a memory of a talk she had with Kyo, after something of the same nature had happened to them months ago.

---We had decided to take a walk together in the woods, leaving the stress of cleaning and homework for a few minutes of repose (Kyo practically had to drag me out of the house…).

Walking through the trees without any thought of direction, Kyo wandered with his head down. I followed a step behind, like a curious puppy. I wonder what's on his mind? Right on cue, he suddenly stopped, and I walked into his back.

"I have to tell you something," he said without looking at me as I stumbled.

"Sure, what…" but he interrupted me.

"And you can't start with your I'm-here-for-you-stuff or anything, because…well, just because." I was completely confused, but still very concerned about my friend. I watched him sigh and look up at the trees. He stood there for a while, and I thought he might have forgotten what he wanted to say.

"Um, Kyo…?"

"I told you not to interrupt me, damnit! Can't I get a little time!" I tried to stammer an apology, but he just glared at the trees harder. A few moments later, still not looking at me, he whispered something sheepishly that I didn't catch.

"Huh?" I said.

"I SAID I really liked dinner yesterday." I wasn't sure what he was talking about, but I understood that it meant a lot to him to say it anyway. "I know I said it smelled funny, but…but I didn't mean it…it was really good." he finished off his sentence at a whisper again, with his head so low, I couldn't see his eyes.

"Oh, thank you, Kyo-kun! Now I know to make that for you more often!" I smiled, happy that I could have another reason to pay special attention to one of my friends. Caught up in my happy moment, I didn't notice Kyo turning to face me with bright red cheeks.

"Um…" he stammered on quietly, "…and I wanted to tell you…" he got so quiet he completely trailed off while he blushed crimson red. I was not sure what to do. My mind was racing; I had to help my friend to feel more comfortable with me.

Looking back, it probably wasn't such a good idea, but I didn't fully understand what was going on. I reached up to push Kyo's bright orange hair away from his eyes and stood on my tiptoes to give him a peck on his cheek. I must have surprised him, because he backed away suddenly, and clumsy me, I tripped without even moving my feet. I landed on top of him in a cloud of smoke and flying clothes. I quickly got to my knees, apologizing almost as profusely as Ritsu would have, and saw him stunned from my weight.

I scooped up the small, furry cat that was now Kyo and sat underneath the shade of a tree, still apologizing.

"Stop it." Kyo muttered after my ninetieth 'I'm so sorry.' "It wasn't your fault."

We sat in silence for a while, and I took the time to think about what had just happened. Thinking back, something just clicked inside my head, and I thought Does Kyo really like me? Is that what he is trying to tell me? Preposterous, I had thought, because we were just friends. But the more I thought, the more I knew it was true.

"Tohru…" Kyo said, snapping me back from my thoughts.

"Huh? What?"

"You're petting me. Its weird." I looked down at my hands and sure enough, I was petting him. His soft, fluffy orange fur.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" Another moment of awkward silence that I couldn't take anymore. "Kyo-kun," I whispered suddenly, "I really like you too." His cute little cat body seized up for a moment and then he curled into a tighter ball, hiding his head in my arms.

"But…" he said, recognizing the resistance in my voice.

"But I'm clumsy and stupid and all I do is get in the way and I can't do anything right and I'm worthless and…and…and I'm not sure if…if we can han…handle anything more…than our friendship. I have liked you for a really long time, Kyo-kun, but I couldn't tell you be…because I…and you…and…." I just couldn't finish my sentence. It seemed so cruel to say that not being able to hold him in any way was painful and it broke my heart every time he changed because of my selfish want to feel him. Perhaps I might have tripped on purpose…once or twice…

"Its alright, I get it." Kyo said, and jumped out of my arms.

"Kyo…."

He bit the edge of his pants and dragged them to the other side of the tree. A few minutes later, another cloud of smoke billowed from behind me and Kyo stepped out moments later in just his pants.

"I'm not mad, lets just go."

And I followed him home, this time with my head down, ashamed of hurting the neko's feelings.---

Reliving the memory depressed Tohru even more, and tears filled her giant, blue eyes. But before one could fall, Shigure called out from his office room.

"Tohru-san! How is dinner coming?"

"Oh! It'll be ready in a few minutes, Shigure-san!" and she started the butcher knife chopping vegetables, thinking to herself I can't let anything get me down! Not when there is cooking and evening chores to be done!

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arg! The sappiness is going to kill me!!! But I like the story anyways . . . another chapter in a day or two . . .