Mario working for SNK Chapter 4.4- SNK VS CAPCOM: WINNER TAKE ALL!!
The Southtown gym (the one Yuri hangs out in AOF2), and we see Terry, Kim Mario and Ryo, in a special training session to help get themselves ready for the big match. Mr. Kawasaki is sitting with them "kindly" cheering them on, with a cat o' nine tails in his hands.
Kawasaki- COME ON, YOU USELESS TURDS!! YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS SHIT!! YOU CALL YOURSELVES SUPERSTARS?? DO YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR JOBS?? COME ON, ONLY 999 MORE PUSH UPS TO GO THEN WE REALLY START THE TRAINING!!
Mario- shit, I don't think I could go another minute like this (Kawasaki cracks the whip on Mario) Uh, on second thoughts.... 991, 992, 993...
After 3 hours of brutal and intense training, gang finally crawl into the saunas, to burn off the excess fat. Later in the day, at the SNK office, Kawasaki gives them a little pep talk.
Kawasaki- for years we have been held back by companies like Capcom. Well now is the time to REALLY prove to Capcom once and for all, that we are not gonna take it. The 5- best SNK fighters against the 5 best of Capcom's. which brings me to our next announcement, since we haven't got that many franchise players here, due to G mantle doing a Phantom of the opera tour, and Athena being a part-time Goddess, I've decided to "lend" another company's Superstars.
Terry- really? Who?
Kawasaki- you're gonna love this. Here are you're new team mates.
Kawasaki opens the office door, and in comes....Sega's blue, spiky superstar Negro rodent, Sonic Da Hedgehog. He is dressed exactly as he was mentioned in chapter 2, wearing FUBU (the ones that go past the knee) jeans, his spiky hair is in blue cornrows, he wears a Do rag and a gold chain with "SEGA" embellished on it. Accompanying him is his Latino Fox Friend, Miles "Tails" Prowez dressed a little like Konnan from WCW and TNA. They are carrying a boom box, and are playing "Hip Hop" by Dead Prez. For some odd reason, Tails lays out a piece of cardboard and starts break dancing, while at the same time, soaring in the air. Terry and the gang are impressed, but Mario is not.
Sonic- WASSUP, MY SNK NIGGAZ? (throws the Elix Skipper TNA Triple X sign)
Tails- ORALE, VATO!! VIVA LA SNK RASA (strikes an Break dancing pose)!!
Terry- well I'm sold on the break dancing part. Welcome aboard.
Mario- oh, come on. This is a joke right, RIGHT?
Sonic- believe that, honky. I'm here to kick some Capcom ass, buoy.
Tails- yeah, homes. We're gonna show them how we do it South of the border.
Kawasaki- I've hired Sonic for one night only to get an edge over those Capcom bums.
Mario- Piss off. I'M the only cute lovable mascot in this company. ME NOT HIM!
Sonic- hey son. Don't be playa hating on me, you mushroom eating cracker. Besides, I'm not a cutie, I'M a mother fucking rebel. I'm here to take it to the man that is Capcom. And it's gonna off the hizzle for shizzle.
Tails- Testify, ESSA.
Kawasaki- come on, Mario. We desperately needed a new player, and Sonic was the only one available. We gotta win this one, and as a team too. What do you say, boys, put aside your differences, just this once, not for me, but for SNK.
Sonic- I'm cool with that, dawg. Gimme some skin.
Mario- oh, alright. But if you fuck up, I'll kick your black and blue ass. (They shake hands)
Meanwhile, at Capcom corp. in Japan. And the head of Capcom, along with Evil Ryu, Violent Ken, Shin Akuma and other Capcom characters are holding a meeting to discuss their evil strategy for the upcoming SWF event.
Capcom head- now we all know that we have an upcoming SWF events soon, what we need to do is plan who we are gonna pick for our team of 5.
Guile- then let's hope that these ones do the job well.
Cammy- yeah, the last guys who invaded SWF were hardly menacing.
Capcom head (to Cammy)- Quiet, filthy minion. Don't disrespect Capcom's clone characters. We're cutting out a lot of you good characters to make room for them. Like we did you, Deejay and Guile in SFA, and the Darkstalkers games in favour of them and the Street fighter games. And there's gonna be a helluva lot of Shotos too.
Guile- Oh no, not more shotoclones.
Capcom head- Oh yes, everyone loves Shotokan karate.
Deejay- Can't you at least make an "effort" to hire one guy with some sort of "personality" of their own or at least have someone who requires "skill" to play as them?
Use of the naughty "S" "P" and "E" words will get you fired around here, Deejay. And your opinion matters none to me, your only Capcom USA for fuck's sake, and the property of James Goddard. When we destroy SNK, we'll take over the gaming world, and make a hell of a lot of rehashes and shotoclones too. HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Guile(whispering to Cammy)- moron
Cammy- as soon as this is over, we'll jump him.
SWF arena, and Mr. Kawasaki is giving a pep talk to his employees about the upcoming event.
Kawasaki- Listen guys, this is a do or die situation for SNK. We finally get our chance to prove to the world and to other companies that we're not just some 3rd party company that'll fade away in the next few years. Tonight we'll show everybody that SNK is the way to play. The future is now, people, and the future is bright.
Mario- yeah, that's the spirit. (Sees Sonic listen to "187 Carpe diem" by Snoop Dog and Dr Dre) would you knock it off?
Sonic- hey son, don't be playa hating the Hedgehog.
Mario- we're fucked for sure.
Kawasaki- come on, guys, all for one and one for all, let's go (does the hands on team spirit thing)
SWF arena, and the event that you've all been waiting for (well some of you anyway) SWF and CWA clash for the right to remain in business, and the arena is set-up like it was in WWF Invasion of 2001. Satoshi Hashimoto sits at ringside for commentary, his broadcast partner is Michael Max, having been promoted from his broadcast journalist position.
Satoshi- WELCOME TO SWF/CWA SHOWDOWN, SWF UNCENSORED!! I'm SATOSHI HASHIMOTO, AND WITH ME TONIGHT FOR A CHANGE, IS MICHEAL MAX!
Michael- glad to being be with you at the broadcast table, Harumi is with us, but she is the special guest announcer for this live event.
The show starts off with the same old pyrotechnics, and in comes the 2 announcers from each promotion. For SWF, the announcer is Harumi Ikoma, and for CWA, the annoying commentator from SFA3 and CVS2.
The pyrotechnics stop and the lights dim down, and "Firing Squad" by M.O.P. plays in the background. And out comes Capcom's first representative, who's coming out of the "Capcom" side of the entrance way.
CWA announcer- THE FOLLOWING BOUT IS SCHEDULED FOR 1-FALL! INTRODUCING FIRST, REPRESENTING CWA, HAILING FROM ENLGAND, WEIGHING IN AT 187lbs, FALCON.
Michael- here's our first match. 2 junior Heavyweights with a promising careers, at least until now, since one of us has to fold.
Satoshi- Falcon's a very gifted competitor, and a good selection on Capcom's part. Like them or not, when Capcom makes good characters, they make them.
Falcon (the pilot guy from Power Stone) walks down the ramp, and enters the ring in style, catapulting over the ropes. "I wanna fly away" by Lenny Kravitz plays in the background, and Harumi introduces the next opponent, who's coming out of the "SNK" entrance way.
Harumi- And his opponent, representing SWF, from high above the clouds, he weighs in at 143lbs, he is the Aviator of offence this is ALFRED!
Michael- this is almost like a battle of counterparts. Both of these guys have similar pilot-y gimmicks, both are up and comers and both have a very good high risk offences.
Both wrestlers lock-up, then start doing high-flying sequences that you'll expect out of a Jonny Storm vs. Jody Fleisch match up. After the odd catch-as-can wrestling, they both nip up and stand off. The crowd obviously are on their feet.
Satoshi- looks like the fans are getting into this match-up
Michael- we knew how good Falcon was, but he's definitely bringing his A-game tonight.
We'll now fast forward a little bit. As the two grapple each other, and hit each other with high flying moves with no clear winner. Five minutes later and Alfred has managed to gain the upper hand, and is signalling for his patented finisher, the AV8R (a 630 splash). He ascends the top rope, and executes his finisher, but Falcon gets out of the way, rolls up Alfred with his foot on the ropes and secures the win for team Capcom. Later on Harumi and the Capcom announcer introduce the next match, as Elias's theme music plays in the background.
Harumi- The following match up is scheduled for 1-fall, and is for the SWF intercontinental championship. Introducing first the champion, from the City of Angels, weighing in at 197lbs, he is the SWF Intercontinental champion, the Messenger from above, ELIAS PATRICK!!
Elias makes his way to the ring. Afterwards a similar Church style theme tune plays in the background. The god-awful Capcom announcer introduces the next opponent.
Capcom announcer- and his opponent, the challenger, from Mount Olympus, he weighs in at 376lbs, GILL!
Gill makes his way to the ring, dressed in his robes, being accompanied by his cult followers in Ku Klux Klan style outfits, holding torches. He heads towards the ring, to face his destiny. If anybody cares, on his way to the arena, he and some old has-been who called himself Rockin' Rebel for some reason or another were jumped, and mugged in a parking lot by a group of guys named "Hot chocolate" (consisting of Heavy D, Lucky, Mr. Jones, and Seth). Well it's not like anybody liked the Rebel anyway.
Michael- we haven't seen much of Gill, but we've heard that he's one of the toughest on the CWA roster. And judging by his entrance, it looks like the SWF IC title will be in serious jeopardy.
The bell rings, and for a few seconds, the 2 foes stare at each other, Gill grabs hold of a nearby microphone.
Gill- I've been watching you for some time, Elias. And it seems that you've become quite the quintessential champion, but you haven't faced an opponent of my calibre. Now behold my awesome power. See me in my full glory!
He burns his robes off, and reveals his half red, half blue body. He is also wearing underpants, a blonde perm and little else. Some challenge, what were Capcom thinking?
Michael/Satoshi/Elias/Crowd- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Gill- huh?
Elias- A half red, half blue man in a thong, and look at that big blonde perm! You've got to be big worst looking bad guy wrestler ever, and that's saying a lot since we have Kain and Wyler on our team, and even losers like Bradshaw, A-train and Jon Heidenreich made better heels than you guys!
Satoshi- what kind of a retarded Priest is Gill suppose to be?
Michael- if this is the best that Capcom have, then this'll be a cakewalk. He looks even gayer than Benimaru and Ash Crimson put together.
Gill is upset that people are laughing at his eccentric looks. Before he can do anything else, Elias connects with a super kick to Gill's chin, this stuns him briefly, and then he hits him with his "Cleansing of the soul" finisher (see last chapter for more details). He goes for the pin.
Michael- 1...2...3! HAHAHA!! Take that, you retard.
Satoshi- probably the easiest title defence in Elias' title reign.
Capcom announcer (pissed off)- the winner by fluke, and still IC champion by the skin of his teeth, Elias Patrick.
The match ends, and Elias picks up the carcass of Gill and tosses it out of the ring, and into his crowd of followers.
We take you backstage, where Mario and the rest of the SNK locker-room has just watched the "shortest title match it history", and are bursting out in hysterics, and are rolling on the floor laughing.
Mario- HAHAHA!! What a loser.
Terry- it takes a whole lot of pressure off of us if they have shitty talent like that.
Kain- it actually makes guys like me, Bao and Wyler look good. OWW! (Terry hits him)
Elias makes his way to the SNK locker-room, and the rest of the team celebrate with him, and douse him with champagne.
Back to the arena, and the next match is a treat for all you pure wrestling videogame fans.
Capcom announcer- the following tag-team contest is scheduled for 1-fall. Making his way to the their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 587lbs they are the team of Zangief, and Hugo.
The duo of Capcom wrestlers head down to the ring. Zangief's theme plays for them. And they look like they mean business, they are accompanied to the ring by Poison, Hugo's manager.
Michael- And here we have a tag team match. Here we see team Capcom, represented by a legendary Veteran, Zangief, and his rival, Hugo. Now normally, these two would hate each other, but they've seemed to have formed a tag team to take down SWF and team SNK. But they'll have a tough time handling these two.
Harumi- and their opponents (theme music play and crowd cheers) from Mexico city, Mexico, at a combined weigh of 430lbs, they are the team of the "Razors edge" Ramon and The Griffon, please welcome, Los Ramon, et La Griffon.
A low-rider car makes it's way to the ring. Inside are Ramon and the Griffon. Eddie Guerrero's "lie cheat and Steal" theme plays for them. They come out, wearing "Lie, Cheat and Steal" T-shirts, and Griffon is wearing a Latino heat bandana.
The match I on it's way. As Ramon starts off for his team, and Zangief starts off for his. They try and lock-up, but seeing as Ramon is at an obvious weight disadvantage, he effortlessly gets thrown all the way across the ring, slamming into the turnbuckle.
Satoshi- OWW! That's gotta hurt (Zangief runs to Ramon, attempting to Splash him, but misses him).
Michael- fortunately, Ramon got out of the way just in time, and follows up with an Ace Crusher.
Satoshi- Ramon runs the ropes, (lands on top of Zangief) beautiful somersault Senton. Goes for the pin 1..2, (Zangief kicks out with authority) what a kick out.
Michael- Ramon whips Zangief, but it gets reversed, (Hugo knees Ramon, but gets punched in the face in return), a cheap shot backfired on Hugo, Ramon charges at Zangief, ducks the clothesline, springboards off the ropes...
Ramon tries a Springboard Tornado DDT, but seeing as Zangief's a powerful wrestler, Ramon gets picked up and Northern Lights Suplexed into the corner post. Poison is obviously happy about this, and cheers his/her team on.
Satoshi- JESUS!! Look at the power of Zangief!!
Zangief makes a tag to Hugo, who whips Ramon to the ropes, and hits him with a clothesline, caused Ramon to flip around and fall on his stomach. He then does the clichéd classic heel wrestler tactic of provoking the opponent's partner, causing the ref to be distracted, and giving them the opportunity to double-team Ramon. They do that twice, making fake tags twice too, this leaves Hugo in the ring with Ramon.
Hugo scoops slams Ramon, then ascends to the top rope, supposedly for a moonsault. But he makes the classic heel mistake of taking too much time and showing off to the crowd. Hugo finally makes it up for a huge moonsault. Fortunately, Ramon rolls out of the way just in time as Hugo lands belly first into the canvas. Ramon then tries to make a tag to Griffon, but Hugo grabs his leg, but Ramon fends him off with an Enziguri, he then makes a tag to Griffon.
Satoshi- and in comes the Griffon, who's like a house of fire. He's cleaning house. A clothesline to Hugo, and one to Zangief, dropsault to Eagle, hurricanrana to Zangief.
Michael- wow, Griffon's all fired up. (Griffon and Ramon throw both Capcom wrestlers out of the ring, and set themselves on the ring apron), looks like their setting up for something.
Both Ramon and Griffon set their opponents up and dive off the apron and perform double top rope Asai moonsaults (named after the great Ultimo Dragon). But although they were caught in mid air, they were able to counter into reverse tornado DDTs, crashing their foes head first into the stage floor.
Crowd- HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! Etc.
Satoshi- Oh MY GOD!! ASAI MOONSAULTS INTO REVERSE DDTS!! AND THE CROWD IS ON THEIR FEET!!
Both teams re-enter the ring. Los Ramon et la Griffon are ready to finish off their opponents. Griffon has already put Hugo away with his "Big Griffon fall" finisher, and Ramon is going up top, ready to finish off Zangief. He hits his target, by performing a shooting star press, which takes a lot out of him. That and the fact that he was beaten up for a while by Zangief. Griffon picks up the already beaten Russian, and he signals for his big Griffon fall, before Poison uses a very unorthodox tactic to distract him.
Satoshi- Poison's up on the Apron and what the hell is she doing?
Poison takes her top off, which exposes his/her bare breasts in front of Griffon. Not caring about the fact that Poison's a transsexual, Griffon cannot help himself, as he stands there grinning, completely distracted. Even the referee can't help but look.
Meanwhile, Zangief, gets up and smashes the birdman wrestler with a set of brass knuckles, while Hugo smashes Ramon with a steel chair, making him bleed. The Ref is oblivious to this, as Poison hugs him close to his/her massive cleavage, slightly suffocating him.
Michael- come on ref, open your eyes. (Griffon is punched again with the set of brass knuckles, busting him open) oh, that's gotta hurt.
After striking the bird masked wrestler with the set of brass knuckles, Zangief sets Griffon up on the top turnbuckle, and performs a spinning piledriver, spiking him. The referee sees Zangief go for the pin, and starts the count
Ref- 1....2....3 (bell rings)
Capcom announcer (looking smug)- the clear winner by miles, Zangief and HUGO!!
Michael- there's no denying that team Capcom has won this match, but if it weren't for the big distraction by Poison, they'd would've been beaten minutes ago.
Zangief and Hugo continue the beat down on Griffon, but Ramon low blows Zangief and smacks Hugo with the ring bell. They may have lost the battle, but Los Ramon et la Griffon have won the war.
Onto the next match, but unfortunately the recognisable crappy dance/garage/rave music plays in the background, and you know who's coming out next.
Satoshi- oh no, not them.
Michael- and just when you think things couldn't get any worse, this happens.
Yes, it's the drug addled, completely bonkers group, Special K', with it's usual members, plus a few new members that they found in a nearby rave house. They are Kasy T (Kasumi in funky clubber gear), Ms. Melee (May Lee in a fluorescent version of her normal outfit, plus a power rangers type visor) BaoBao (Bao in a disturbing looking Tellytuby outfit) and Shingo Starr (Shingo dressed as Ringo Starr). And if you think that's not bizarre enough, they've invited members from Capcom too. Such as Batty Suka (Batsu in a village people's hat and a camp moustache), Ginga Ninja (Kyosuke dressed as Elton John), Sakura Hoop (Sakura with a hula hoop type hat, and an I love Ryu T-shirt) and Baby Mack (Makoto in MC hammer trousers and a Run DMC Hat and jacket). They walk down the entrance ramp and into the ring, stupidly dancing on the way there. The then tart a crappy speed enhance dance. To make matters worse, they are in possession of a microphone.
Kyocaine- hey, everybody. We're back! Coming to break it down with our magical friends (takes the box of Special K, and consuming a handful of drugs).
Ginga Ninja(stoned)- let your hair down, and your toilet seat up and let's party.
Ms. Melee- let's hear the sounds of the John Cena singing it's raining men, see Ron Killings dance to the theme of the Tweenies, and smell the flushing turd as I light up the ringworm.
BaoBao- WICKED, SORTED, INNIT!!
Baby Mack- we're here to party BEATCH!!
Ash dust- so join us as we join in with John Zandig, Nick Gage and Nate Hatred doing the funky chicken while, while we watch AJ Styles do the Macarena (yes people, these Special K' are nuts).
Slim K'- YEAH, DANCE and RAVE 4LIFE!! They rock, not like crap like Rap, Hip-hop, Punk Rock, Grunge and Reggae, we're the coolest thing in wrestling today, unlike the Blackout, they suck.
After the bullshit comments about Reggae music, "Gimme the light" by Sean Paul plays in the background, and out comes Deejay, who surprisingly is accompanied by Bob Wilson. They've heard just about enough of Special K's bullshit, and decided to head to the ring. They too are in possession of a microphone.
Deejay- I've had just about enough about of you morons. I mean I'm sick of your antics, but don't you EVER insult Reggae music again.
Bob Wilson- yeah, we're sick of you spoiled brats and your constant nonsensical waffling, it's time to beat some respect out of you lot. Don't you agree Deejay.
Deejay- Yeah, Mon. let's beat up some beatches!!
So the unlikely duo of Bob Wilson and Deejay proceed to beat seven shades of shit out of the drug fuelled posse, and for a while they're not doing so bad, but the number game soon catches up with them, and Special K' start to retaliate. Before Special K' start are ready to finish them off, "The Thief's Theme" by Nas plays in the background, and out come a wrestling group neither from SNK or Capcom.
Satoshi- wait a minute I've heard of these guys, they're from CZW aren't they?
Michael- Oh my god that's the Blackout. And they've come here to SWF.
The Blackout (consisting of overweight High-flyer, Ruckus, Cornowed haired midget wrestler, Sabian, Clown make-up wearing Strong Style wrestler Joker, and their Manager, token White boy gangsta, Robby Mireno) make their way to the ring. They've heard Special K's insults towards rap and Gangsta rap, and are pissed off, and ready for some action.
Satoshi- alright! Finally Special K' gets a well deserved arse beating (Ruckus squashes BaoBao with his razzle-dazzle moves a handspring back-elbow). Oww, that's gotta hurt!
Michael- looks like the Blackout Deejay, and Bob Wilson are taking care of Special K', (Sabian hits Slim K' with a 450 splash), wow, a lovely 450 splash by the Black Jesus.
The gangster themed wrestlers and the 2 island boys are completely cleaning house. The Special K' groups don't have a prayer and try to retreat. Unfortunately, Ruckus Grabs hold of Kasy T and uses his "Hate Crime" finisher (A Falcon's Arrow type move) to put her through a table, While Joker hits Ms. Melee with a Joker Driver. They continue to chase Special K' out of the arena, much to the crowd's delight. As they exited the arena, BaoBao are Slim K' are busted open with a glass bottle by a guy in a leather jacket, jeans, combat boots, short black hair and a goatee, who for some reason calls himself Captain spoon. I guess he didn't take too well to the anti-Punk rock/reggae/rap comments neither.
Satoshi- hopefully, that's the last we'll see of them tonight.
Michael- thank go for Capcom's Deejay. Never thought I'd be thanking Capcom on a day like this.
Away from the antics involving Special K', we take you backstage to the locker-room, where sexy Cat-girl, Felicia, cute lovable SS cat-girl, Cham Cham and Sci-fi manga girly girl Mignon Beart (in her 2nd outfit), are locked in combat. In other words...
Nameless Backstage employee- TRIPLE THREAT CATFIGHT!!
Felicia- Die, lame Manga Girly Girl impostor. Go back to your Neon Genesis Evangelion videos. (Scratches Mignon, then takes her down in a sexually suggestive way), and you (to Cham Cham), die you no hope rip-off, one-hit wonder. (gets up and scratches her as well)
Mignon- oh, yeah, take this you old has been. Some great character you turned out to be, didn't go anywhere after darkstalkers (girly punches Felicia back).
Cham Cham- Me, I'm the one who came first, you're the rip-off, stupid cat prostitute (scratches Felicia back, then looks at Mignon), as for you, take this you no-hope token Anime rip-off, who tried to dress up in a cat-girl outfit.
Five minutes into the fight and after the usual grappling, hair pulling, and scratching, and Mignon has had her clothes ripped and is wearing her other alternate outfit as under wear, while Felicia and Cham Cham are now topless. Unknown to both of them, this is being filmed by Mario, who is hiding in a linen basket, and will be the centre of his enjoyment in his bedroom.
Anyway, not wanting to be accused of dragging a wrestling themed Chapter on endlessly, we'll now take you to the long awaited main event. There have been many tremendous matches both from SNK and Capcom. Harumi and the piss poor announcer from Capcom wait to introduce their respected teams.
Harumi- ladies and gentleman, tonight's main event is a 10-man elimination death-match in an electrified steel cage match.
Capcom announcer- with the winning company is granted the right to stay in business.
Evil Ryu, Mech Zangief and Shin Akuma walk down the ramp, and receive loud boos and "you suck" chants from the crowd due to the fact that they're dull unoriginal, and vastly overrated. The Opening theme tune for Street Fighter 2 plays for them.
Satoshi- finally, the match that'll make or break this company, the main event of this spectacular show.
Michael- I'm nervous, but at the same time I'm excited as hell. A lot of anticipation building up to this one.
The crowd is waiting for the secret partners. And here they come. Firstly, a fat man in a hover motor egg pod thingy with a bald head, red-shirt, torn overall ginger moustache and a cowboy hat. Yes it's Dr. Ivor Robotnik, dressed as a White trash Southerner. Fittingly, the Final Boss theme tune from Sonic & Knuckles plays in the Background.
Michael- OH, SHIT!! DR. Robotnik? Fuck me, we haven't seen him since that explosion of his Death Egg in Sonic 3.
Satoshi- My god, now that's a shocker nobody in a million years would've expected Dr. Robotnik would end up here.
The next opponent is a shocker, as he enters the arena. This guys has a face of a dragon, a ginger hair, a spiky turtle like Shell and spiky shackles. He is also smoking on a joint. Yes it's Bowser, the big bad Nintendo boss from the Super Mario brothers, representing Capcom with the permission of Shigeru Miyamoto (in fact Shigeru sent Bowser to kick the shit out of Mario in return for loadsa money). The Final Boss theme from Super Mario Brothers 3 plays for him. He's definitely got it in for Mario, especially after he heard what kind of things Mario did to his daughter.
Satoshi- as if Dr. R wasn't shocking enough, we have this guy? Looks like SNK are in a world of trouble now.
After the 5 from Team Capcom enter the ring, the opening theme for KOF 98 plays in the Background, and out come team SNK, Blues Hablam (or Mario) Terry Rogers (Terry Bogard) and the Red Dragon (Kim Kap Hwan) they receive a standing ovation from the crowd, and are standing outside the ring staring at their 5 opponents, and at the same time being smart enough not to enter in a possible ambush. They also wait for their mystery partner. Mario however, is slightly miffed at the fact that he has to team up with them, but he thought what the fuck and did it anyway.
Satoshi- I wonder who their mystery partner's going to be?
Michael- and can they outmatch team Capcom?
And in comes....Miles Tails Prowez, who flies into the arena using his tails, the crowd are obviously shocked and on their feet for the Two-tailed, 2 tuff latino fox. "La Rumba" by Bobby Digital plays from him.
Michael- YES!! We have someone to counteract the onslaught of team Capcom's mystery partners.
Satoshi- and if Tails is here, you can guess who's not far behind...
The lights dim down, and a hip-hop remix of "SONIC BOOM" (the opening theme tune for Sonic CD) plays in the background, and out comes, SONIC DA HEDGEHOG!! And he enters the ring in style, wearing his Sega embellished gold chain, and "SONIC BOOM" tattooed on his knuckles. The crowd are going fucking bonkers for the Blue Negro rodent, which makes Mario a little jealous.
All 10 men enter the ring, as both Harumi and the shitty Capcom announcer introduce their respective teams.
Capcom announcer- ladies and gentleman introducing first, from the Shadowloo cloning factory weighing in at 350lbs, MECH ZANGIEF, weighing in at 175lbs, Violent Ken, from parts unknown, weighing in at 200lbs Shin Akuma. From Planet Mobius, weighing in at 280lbs, Dr. IVOR ROBOTNIK, and finally, from the deep dark regions of the Mushroom Kingdom, weighing in at 230lbs (440lbs including the shell), this IS KING BOWSER!! (Bowser looks at Mario, very threateningly).
Harumi- and representing team SNK, from right here in Southtown USA (the fans cheer), weighing in at 167lbs, TERRY ROGERS!! And from the Orient, weighing in at 153lbs, the Red Dragon, from Mexico City, Mexico, weighing in at 352lbs, BLUES HABLAM!! From Planet Mobius, weighing in at 133lbs (149 including the 2 tails), MILES TAILS PROWEZ (Tails does the Eddie Guerrero dance), and Finally, from Planet Mobius, he weighs in at 144lbs (160 including the spikes, this is SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!!
After the intros, the match is gets straight underway, and team SNK and team Capcom butt heads. And engage in an all important scrap fest.
Mario- DIE, you lame, dull SVC shotoclone with Ric Flair's hairstyle (repeatedly chops Violent Ken).
Violent Ken- oh, yeah. Take this, you washed up, ex-Nintendo loser. Some star you turned out to be. I don't know why SNK bothered to push you. (hurricane kicks Mario back)
Mario- that's because SNK reward talent. Not like you Capcom losers who only care about Ryu, Ken, Akuma, and shin clones. I mean you even ditched guys like Guile, Deejay and Cammy in favour of making a Mickey mouse game, how fucked up it that. (hits him with a shining wizard).
Terry- take this, you overrated, overly cheap shotoclone. What the hell's so appealing about you? (super kicks Shim Akuma to then hits him with a standing Shooting star press)
Shin Akuma- OWW!! SHOOOSSH!! (hits Terry with a Shoryuken).
Satoshi- nice recovery by S. Akuma. Hitting Terry with a flying upper.
Mech Zangief- don't worry, comrade. I won't hurt you, much (repeatedly hits Kim with German Suplexes, after hitting him with a Russian leg sweep).
Kim- how dare you try and tarnish the name of SNK and SWF (back flip-escapes out of mech Zangief's German Suplex), NOW! I'm gonna open up a can of moralistic whoop ass on you. WATAH!! (spits green mist in his face, then Buzzsaw kicks him in the temple)
Bowser- burn, mother fucker, burn (spits fire at Tails).
Tails- come on, homes. You can do better than that, essa. ORALE (slaps him with his 2 tails)
Robotnik- keep your blue cotton picking ass still, buoy. So I cans hurt you blue ass. Yee hah!! (swings his pendulum boulder at him, the one on the first level of Sonic 1).
Sonic- bring it on, cracker. Everybody knows white men can't jump (repeatedly jumps on him).
The madness keeps on for ages, then Kim throws a steel chair at Shin Akuma, Kid Kash style and which knocks him back into the Steel cage, electrocuting him, and turning hit to crisp. Violent Ken hits Kim with a set off brass knuckles, and covers him for the 3 count. Terry Rogers assaults Violent Ken, as they battle it out on the top of the cage, and Terry uses his "Terryfier" (a Hurricanrana into a cradle Piledriver) finisher on Violent Ken, spiking him on his head and crashing it through the canvas.
Crowd- HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!
Michael- OH MY GOD!! JESUS CHRIST!! WHAT A MOVE BY TERRY!!
Unfortunately, Terry is too beat up to carry on, and Mech Zangief takes advantage of it by putting him away with a spinning Piledriver. Mario knocks Mech Zangief's head clean off with a barbwire baseball bat set on fire.
Twenty-five minutes into the match, with Tails, Terry, Kim Violent Ken, Shin Akuma, and Mech Zangief have all been eliminated. This leaves the arch rivals, Sonic and Mario in the steel cage with Bowser and Dr. Robotnik, their respective enemies.
Mario- oh, shit. This is what I've been dreading. (sees Bowser come at him with a spear) OOUCH!!
Sonic- ha ha take this fool! (again repeatedly jumps on Robotnik, causing his machine to blow up)
Robotnik- (flies out of the arena) GODAMN HEDGEHOG!!
Sonic- YOU GOT WASTED BEATCH!!
Meanwhile, Bowser it having his way with Mario, and is enjoying it as well, as he seeks revenge for what Mario "did" to his daughter.
Bowser- I've been waiting for this for ages now. This is for taking advantage of my daughter you bastard. How dare you break her virginity, I have to live with the shame of my sweet little princess being screwed by a plumber, and an enemy no less. (swings at Mario, hitting him and some missing him)
Mario- hey, she came onto me first (jumps on Bowser). Don't blame me for her screaming my name and breaking into her, then taking her up the arse...uh oh!!
Bowser- YOU DID WHAT!!! THAT'S IT YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!!
After hearing the graphic details of how what Mario exactly did to his daughter, Bowser goes into a fit of rage and starts pummelling Mario silly. Using everything from fireballs to hitting him with his tail. He then sets him up for the finishing blow, as he jumps up and falls back first for a Senton splash. But surprisingly, Mario is saved by an unlikely ally.
Sonic- NOOOO!! (does the slow motion thingy, as he pushes Mario out of the way of Bowser, but gets crush in the process)
Ref- 1....2....3 SONIC IS ELIMINATED!!
Michael- HOLY SHIT!! Sonic just sacrificed himself to save Blues Hablam. What a hero.
Mario- holy shit. Are you okay.
Sonic (injured badly)- me, I'm okay, bro. It takes more than this to beat the big blue machine.
Mario- err, Sonic, as much as I hate to say this, thanks, pal.
Sonic- hey no problems. Now win for SNK, don't worry about me (he passes out, but he isn't dead)
Mario is all choked up after that typical "Sacrifice scene" moment. He then turns his attention to Bowser, and is ready to kick ass.
Mario- (repeatedly hits Bowser) take this, and this, and have some of that. I'm gonna fuck you up worse than I did you daughter.
Bowser- OWW!! OUCH!! AAAIIEE!! NO NOT THE SHELL!!
Mario is quite happily kicking the crap out of Bowser, until the head of Capcom, enters the arena entrance and start blowing a whistle, Bill Alfonso style, and out come the whole CWA roster heading down to the ring, and enter the Electrified Cage. They are obviously beating the living shit out of Mario, and they other 4 SNK team members.
Satoshi- no, this isn't fair. It can't all end like this.
Fortunately isn't doesn't, as Mr. Kawasaki also comes down, blowing a whistle, and here comes the cavalry in the form the SWF roster. They even the playing field beating down many CWA guys, and saving Mario from an even worse fate. In the ring now are the beaten down Bowser, then equally exhausted Mario, the Ref, the head of Capcom Cammy, Guile and Deejay. Cammy is holding a large glass jar full of acid.
Capcom head- HAHAHAHA!! SWF will be out of business, and the CWA will rule, and the world will tremble at the mercy of Capcom and the shotoclones. Now, my lowly minions, strike the fatal blow, NOW!!
Cammy Deejay and Guile stare at the Capcom head, and have not hit Mario.
Capcom Head- what are you waiting for, you lowly retards. I said hit him, NOW, or I'll fire your asses (they still don't hit Mario). FINE THEN YOU'RE ALL FIRE...EEKKK!!
Just before the pompous Capcom boss could finish firing the three, Deejay hits him with hits rapid punches., while Guile knocks him away with his Flash Kick. Cammy uses the Jar full of acid, but instead he hits Bowser, simultaneously burning him, and knocking him out. They then throw Mario on top of the spiky lizard to make the cover, and forceful the ref to count!
Michael- 1...2...3!!! YES, YES!! SNK DID IT!! WE DID IT!!
Satoshi- YES!! THANK YOU! THANK GOD!!
Harumi- THE WINNER, AND THE COMPANY STILL IN BUSINESS, THE SWF!!
Capcom announcer- NO, NO fucking way!! That's bullshit, they cheated. YOU BASTARDS, YOU...OWW!!
Harumi then hits the highly irritating announcer square in the face, breaking his nose knocking him out and shutting him up.
Meanwhile, the SWF roster receive a standing ovation from the crowd, as the fireworks go off, confetti falls from the sky and tears of joy run down the cheeks of Mr. Kawasaki.
The Capcom team however, walk off, bruised and battered, with the crowd singing "NANANANA, NANANANA, HEY HEY HEY, GOODBYE!!" as they exit. Mech Zangief, Evil Ryu, Shin Akuma and the Head of Capcom have recovered just enough to walk out of the building, but were later mugged, beaten and killed by the Blackout.
Later that night, Mario, Sonic, Kim, Terry, Tails and Mr. Kawasaki are in the locker room and are celebrating the fact that they're in business, and that they have finally shown up Capcom.
Kawasaki- you guys are fucking amazing! I propose a toast to SWF and SNK. To SNK!
All- TO SNK!!
Mario- WOW! The SWF events were something else. I mean fucking the matches and the crowd were Fucking Ace.
Terry- now that's what SNK is all about. You guys are the dog's bollocks. You guys are great.
Sonic- you know something, it was pretty cool that Mario and I teamed up for a change. Even if it was for one night only.
Mario- well I've got to admit, even though I never really liked you that much, you were great and I actually enjoyed fighting with you. But remember it was for one night only.
Sonic- well, I'd better get the hell outta here. it's been fun, homes.
Mario- but remember, next time we meet, I'm gonna kick your ass.
Sonic- whatever, whitey. Just remember, you can't fight what you can't catch. (the shake hands possibly for the last time).
As the group leave the arena, they were greeted by Guile Deejay, and Cammy.
Mario- alright, what do you want?
Deejay- chill, brethren. We're not here to fight.
Guile- yeah, we're here to congratulate the better team.
Cammy- but don't think that by us helping you win it mean we like you or SNK, we only did 'cause the boss was cheap and we hate Shotos.
Terry- uh, yeah. Whatever.
Deejay-Well see y'all later, mon.
And so our wrestling themed chapter comes to a conclusive and in some terms happy ending. Deejay, Cammy and Guile were last spotted raiding the Capcom office, and running away with millions worth of cash, Sonic and Tails took they're pay from Mr. Kawasaki and spent a bit of it pimping up their car, Terry and Kim go back to their homes, ready for their next day at work, and Mario was last seen in the bedroom of his flat with Tina Armstrong, Rainbow Mika and Bowser's Daughter.
Tune in next time for more madness with Mario as he continues to work for SNK.
Phew, took me long to finish this up, I hope you liked this multi-themed chapter, or at least found it half decent. Shout out to the Wrestling channel, the Bagpipe report, the America X cup, CZW Bet of the Best 2, and the Future-shock Wrestling school in Manchester for helping me come up with all this madness.
Note- the "Blackout" are a group of mainly African American wrestlers in CZW (Combat zone wrestling) and are one of the most successful (and for some weird reason, the most hated) wrestling groups of that wrestling promotion. They recently won the CZW tag title from the H8 club (one of the most dominating tag teams in CZW history). Joker was a member, but he fled to Iraq for Military duty. The following members (and ex-members) are as follows.
Ruckus The overweight High-flying guy, the leader of the gang (dubbed a one of the Indies' greatest high flyers of today)
Sabian (a.k.a. the Black Jesus, a.k.a. the Booty man) the short high flying one with Cornrows.
Joker the Strong style guy with clown make up (currently in Iraq)
Robby Mireno their manager, the token white boy from the hood. Call him CZW's answer to John Cena if you wish.
Eddy Kingston (a.k.a. King) the Relatively new guy. Started out as a Chikara wrestler.
Maven Bentley their civil rights lawyer.
Note 2- Los Ramon et La Griffon were taken from Captain spoon's excellent "KOF sitcom Hell" fanfic, where Griffon and Ramon used the "Los Guerreros, lie cheat and steal" gimmick. This was done under the Captain's kind permission. As a reward for using my ideas for his fanfic, I decided to give Captainspoon a brief appearance.
Note 3- the whole 10 man winner take all match was based on the WWE Survivor Series' main event, where it was a 10-man elimination match against the best of WWF, Vs. the best of WCW and ECW. Throughout the WCW and ECW versus WWF events, I always thought that the treatment of WCW and ECW was unfair and was just a cheap ploy to make WWF look good (but they till suck now), the difference between my chapter and the WWE's I that I at least tried to make more out of it. And no, I don't hate Capcom, but I despise the shotoclones, for their constant hype their sameness, and their boring players who know nothing but Ryu, Ken and Gouki.
Note 4- it would be cool to see Sonic and Mario teaming up for the first time, or so I thought.
Note 5- seriously, who did come first? Felicia or Cham Cham? One of the biggest question on a lot of fan's minds.
Note 6- is it me, or does the Capcom announcer have the mot annoying voice around? I mean seriously, sometimes you jut feel like wanting to hut the guy up whenever he says something annoying.
Note 7- the newly added members of Special K' are just a bunch of teen fighters I dislike, with the exception of Shingo Starr.
Note 8- Their were a couple more matches I wanted to add, but due to time and space I had to cut them out.
Note 9- You know, even today that the WWE STILL refuses to use the cruiserweight division to its fullest extent. Mainly because the WWE always had this stupid thing about bigger men being superior to smaller men. Even for losers like Heidenreich and Bradshaw. Whilst ignoring guys like Taz and Perry Saturn, and losing guys like Jerry Lynn and Ron Killings (whom both have better careers in NWA: TNA)