"I do not want to be an elf, Daniel Jackson…"
Daniel frowned.
"It's for a good cause, Teal'c."
The Jaffa crossed his arms over his chest, which Daniel knew by now was the stance he used when he was at his most stubborn.
"I have seen the elves on the TV commercials…"
"Those are Keebler elves, Teal'c – it's not the same as Santa's elves…"
Teal'c simply scowled, and Daniel knew he wasn't going to convince him of the difference. He sighed, trying to think of-
"How about if you don't have to be an elf? Would you come, then?"
The Jaffa looked instantly suspicious.
"What would I be?"
"A reindeer?"
Teal'c scowled again.
"Okay. Okay. I'll come up with a costume for you that is human – okay? No one will even know it's you, and the kids would really appreciate it."
"Human?"
Daniel nodded.
"Fine. I will come to your Christmas function." If that was what it took to get him to stop asking him to come. At least he didn't have to be a reindeer or an elf. Crazy humans and their odd traditions.
"Great! It's on Christmas Eve, and I'll pick you up at 4."
"I will be here." Unless they were called off on a mission – and Teal'c could only hope that they were.
"I'm going to go see how Sam's coming on her memo," Daniel said, smiling in relief. If Teal'c hadn't come, Jack probably would have changed his mind, and that just wouldn't do. "Then I'll go find you a costume."
"A human costume," Teal'c reminded him.
"Yep."
Daniel left the room, wondering what on earth he could find for Teal'c to be.
OOOOOOOOOOO
If there was one thing that could be said about the people who worked in Cheyenne Mountain, it was that when they had a project, they went at it with both barrels. Then, add in the fact that it was for a good cause, they really went crazy. Toss into the mix the fact that Jack O'Neill was hounding everyone to outdo each other, and the efforts that were impressive already turned into monumental, and by the time Christmas Eve came around there were literally tons of toys and candy for the Christmas party at the orphanage that Daniel had picked out as his own Christmas project. Also donated had been a fair amount of cash – which could always be put to good use.
So many toys, in fact, that there was no way they'd need even half of them for the place they were going – so O'Neill sent a group of volunteers off to a couple of other charities in town – homeless shelters and battered women's shelters – places where there were definitely kids who could use a cheerful surprise. Then he'd had Davis and a handful of Marines gather the toys into a personnel carrier, and he'd gone into the locker room to get changed into his costume.
And found Daniel hiding in there.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing."
"Who are you hiding from?"
"What makes you think I'm hiding from anyone?"
"Because you about jumped out of your skin when I walked through the door, and you're wearing a guilty-"
"Teal'c."
"What?"
"He's a little… upset with me."
"Why?"
"Because he doesn't like the costume I got him."
"He's not an elf, is he?" Jack asked. "You know he said he wanted a human costume…"
Daniel nodded.
"I know."
"He's not a reindeer?"
"No."
"A snowman?"
Daniel shook his head.
"Then what-"
The door to the locker room opened with a bang, and Teal'c came walking in, wearing the absolute last costume Jack would have expected to see him in. A long red robe – it wasn't a dress – trimmed with white faux fur, a gray old woman wig with the hair done up in a tight bun (and which covered the seal on his forehead perfectly), and a pair of red tights that could only barely be seen – and then only when Teal'c took a step – and a pair of wire-rimmed spectacles finished out the costume. Someone had stuffed his robe so he was just as chunky as Jack would end up looking, but they'd also stuffed the top half of the robe as well – giving him a decidedly feminine and grandmotherly shape that was completely offset by the thunderous scowl on his face.
"Say hello to Mrs. Clause…" Daniel said, positioning himself slightly behind Jack, who couldn't stop staring at Teal'c.