BEHIND LOCKED DOORS
WARNING: Rated R for profanity and homosexual relations of the incestuous kind. But this is actually a story with a plot, not smutty homosexual porn. Flames only keep me warm in winter.
NB: Yeah, I know it's a bit short (apart from the song lyrics), but I promise that I'll make my other chapters longer because I only have a few days before going into the holidays, so I'll be able to write whenever I feel like it for at least the next 5-6 weeks. Thankyou to all who have reviewed. I love you all, even the critics!!!
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Chapter Nineteen: Regrets are nothing new
The morning of December 26th dawned unusually bright for a winter morning; light reflecting repeatedly off the many layers of snow and endless icicles as far as the eye could see. Outside, despite it's chilly, damp air, had it's own uncommon beauty at this time of the morning. Endless blankets of pure, white snow, delicate, dagger-like icicles hanging from the boughs of every leafless tree and gentle sheets of snow decorating the evergreen trees, all of which reflected the early morning light over and over, never increasing the heat but repeatedly magnifying the brightness of the winter sunshine.
This brightness was of no exception to the open curtains of Draco Malfoy's windows. Draco awoke to the overly bright sunlight gliding onto his face first thing in the morning. His eyes, normally clear silver, were unusually bloodshot, the classic sign of a hangover. He groaned, flopping an arm across his face to block the light, not that it would do anything for the rising nausea wave in his stomach or the bitter bile at the back of his throat.
Then, with an unusual bout of energy for so early in the morning, Draco jumped off his bed and bolted towards his ensuite, hunching over his toilet as he violently regurgitated what was left of last night's alcohol intake. His throat and mouth burned painfully throughout the whole process, his stomach repeatedly cramped then uncramped with each heave, and his eyes began to water from all the pain, blurring his vision.
Finally, the painful process was over and Draco allowed his legs to turn to jelly beneath him as he slumped to the cool tiled floor, his head resting against the wall. He sighed, wiping his sweaty face with a nearby cloth.
"Damn. I really should learn not to drink so much." He muttered, trying to smooth back his unruly tangle of hair, all to no avail. Still feeling groggy and dirty, Draco decided to take a shower and stood up to turn on the taps…
…As he rinsed shampoo out of his hair, Draco found himself wondering about last night. Due to his extreme alcohol intake, he found he could barely remember any of what happened. The only clear memory he had was that of Theo running naked through the main room and getting into a lot of trouble with his mother. Draco snickered to himself, wondering just how much trouble Theo would be in once he actually woke up from his place on the floor. He hardly thought Theo's mother would accept the excuse of his actions being part of a dare he had chosen to fulfil-
"Oh, shit!" Draco muttered, suddenly pausing in the middle of applying conditioner. The word 'dare' had suddenly brought back memories of a good chunk of the night, including one particular event that Draco knew he would have been much happier to have never remembered…
…"Well, what is it?" Lucius snapped impatiently. Draco pouted.
"There's no need t'be so rude, Father." He slurred. "I jus' wanna to give you somethin'…"
"Like what?" Lucius questioned; his curiosity aroused.
"This!" Draco answered, and before Lucius could protest, he had planted a drunken, but very passionate kiss on his Father's mouth. Lucius, too shocked to respond in any way immediately, merely stood there for a moment as his son's tongue explored his mouth, then quickly came to his senses and pushed Draco away, a shocked scowl on his face…
"Oh...Merlin! I kissed my Father!" He exclaimed, hoping nobody heard him. He doubted it. Most people would still be sleeping off hangovers right now. Shaking his head in disbelief, Draco turned off the taps and quickly towelled himself off before pulling on a black robe and leaving the ensuite. Searching underneath his bed, Draco found an unopened packet of cigarettes that did not belong to him according to the brand. They were most likely Flint's, but that didn't matter. Draco opened the large window of his bedroom to make sure the smell would not permeate the entire room. Taking a deep drag, he inhaled the smooth smoke into his lungs, letting it settle there for a moment before sharply exhaling it out into the morning air. This was done several more time until most of the cigarette was gone and Draco took it out of his mouth and forced the lit end down hard onto the back of his hand, sending white-hot pain shooting through his arm as he pressed down harder and harder, hoping to leave a permanent scar…
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Lucius Malfoy awoke that morning curled up on his double bed with a surprisingly mild hangover considering the amount of alcohol he had consumed the night beforehand. He assumed it might have had something to do with the fact that he had not mixed his alcohol, sticking strictly to FireWhiskey.
And the fact that Draco had almost completely sobered him up last night by humiliating him in front of his peers. He had followed Draco out of boredom more than anything, knowing from past experiences that an intoxicated Draco normally provided good entertainment. There had been entertainment all right, but it had been at the expense of his own pride. Draco had kissed him in front of his friends in a way that was very unnatural for them on more than one level.
Lucius pressed his fingers to his lips almost instinctively. Drunken or not, Draco's kisses had something in them that made them like some sort of drug. Each kiss gave so much pain and confusion afterwards, yet they were worth the pain a hundred times over. Those two kisses alone that Lucius had received had nearly sent him insane with a twisted form of desire that could not be satiated no matter how hard he tried. After the first kiss he and Draco had 'shared', Lucius had retired to his bedroom to relieve himself time and time again, yet even in the throes of ecstasy he found himself unable to reach that pinnacle that that one short, simple kiss had taken him to. The second time, which had been last night, Lucius had hunted down Narcissa and hurriedly dragged her to his room for hour after hour of lust-and-alcohol fuelled passion. They had only stopped when Narcissa had passed out from exhaustion.
It was only then that Lucius remembered. Narcissa was still in his bed. They had slept in the same bed for the first time in nearly a year.
"Morning, Luce." She purred, opening violet eyes, which contrasted strangely with his silver ones. She stretched languidly, like a relaxed feline. "Now, would you care to tell me exactly what came over you last night?" She raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow in question. Lucius chuckled, tracing the gentle curve of her hip with his fingers. "You haven't been that lustful since you nearly succeeded in forcing that Dumbledore fool into early retirement…not that I'm complaining…"
"A lot, my dear 'Cissa." He answered smoothly, eyeing her naked, slender form while doing his best to shut out memories of a drunken kiss 'shared' with his only son. He wasn't being successful so far. "Alcohol, lust…it's been awhile since we even slept in the same bed, you know. I guess you could just say that it all built up until last night until I just couldn't ignore it anymore-"
"And we went on six times last night." Narcissa finished, a glimmer of lust in her violet eyes. Lucius smiled back at her.
"Yes, my dear. Six times." She grinned slyly, moving closer towards him gracefully and either choosing to ignore or, due to her mood, simply failing to notice the fact that his several of his fading scars had been renewed.
"You know, Luce. I've heard that seven is a lucky number…" She breathed in his ear. Lucius silently agreed with her. Maybe seven times could rid him of that damn memory of Draco and his kisses just for a short time. Besides, it was rare for him to turn down an offer of sex.
"Why don't we see then?" He asked silkily, pulling her on top of him. Narcissa smirked, catching his mouth in a hot, hungry kiss with way too much energy for a woman who was supposed to be hungover and exhausted for the morning. Lucius returned the kiss with fervour, feeling more than slightly remorseful that his mind was taunting him with images of a adolescent boy with features so like his own. If he pretended hard enough, he could almost believe that Narcissa's full, rosy lips with their permanent taste of chocolate and mint were thinner and cooler to the touch, and permanently tasted faintly of tobacco and smoke instead.
If he tried harder, he could ignore the fact that her hair was too long and wavy and her waist curved inwards just a little too much. She had been blessed with narrow, child-like hips, which made it easier for Lucius to pretend that the hips he gripped and left indents of his fingertips on were male and that her belly wasn't soft and concave, but flat and toned like that of a young male athelete.
As they rolled over and over, fighting for dominance, Lucius found himself almost completely lost in fantasy. If he tried hard enough, he could pretend that Narcissa's legs weren't silky smooth, but evenly covered with the finest, palest hair. Her skin wasn't flawless either if he squinted the right way, but mapped with scars, some off-white, some pink. He could almost feel scars on her chest rubbing against him as he thrust into her, and her chest didn't feel quite as voluptuous when they were in this position. If he pretended more, her gasps were turned into less than feminine moans and her soft, birdlike voice was deeper, smoother.
Lucius moved harder and faster, holding her close to him as they floated higher and higher towards the pinnacle that he had been trying so hard to reach. Narcissa clung to him equally as much, wrapping her legs tighter and tighter around his hips to force him to go deeper inside her, not knowing that to him, her violet eyes had changed to a shade of silver and her hair was looking shorter and straighter.
He was almost there now, Lucius could feel it. His manner became more savage and animalistic in his desperation to reach that point. He drove himself deeper and deeper with each thrust as he clawed at Narcissa's back and bit into the injunction between her shoulder and neck, finding his face wet with tears that he didn't know exactly why he was shedding. His bites had become extremely savage because Lucius suddenly found himself with the beautiful, metallic tang of blood trickling into his mouth, taking him not only to that pinnacle, but sending him free-falling right over it's tip and, for the briefest of moments as he climaxed, his reality was completely altered as he screamed the name of another deep within the recesses of his mind. Narcissa completely vanished from underneath him and was replaced with a very familiar someone else in the throes of orgasm. Somebody taller with a lean, athletic build and shorter, white-blond hair falling into silver eyes, scars mapping pain and frustration points on once-flawless ivory skin but only making the skin more beautiful, and soft, cool lips that would taste not of chocolate and mint, but of tobacco and smoke.
And in that moment, Lucius was confronted with the truth. He had lied to himself that…that using Narcissa in that manner would rid himself of what was just a terrible memory. Liar. You didn't want to forget. You can't forget even if you really had wanted to. You've fallen for your own son.
"And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am"
"Iris" - Goo Goo Dolls