Woo! Only two more chapters and an epilogue left people. Aren't you excited? (ignores the silence) Good. Okay, a few little details to address before we get to the fiction. First: Sorry pinky, but I'm not Australian. I have the misfortune of birth to be both American and Southern. The only Outback I've seen is the steakhouse. Numero dos: There will be more song lyrics popping up in random spots, so get use to seeing ((this crap)). Oh, and it's gonna get a wee bit freaky soon, sugar-puff, so I hope you're up to it.
Songs (Mis-)Used in This Chapter
Franz Ferdinand -(Cheating On You and Auf Achse)
Chapter 6: Dark Fantastic Pleasure
"I can't believe this!" Dib screamed for the thousandth time that day. "I can't fucking believe this!"
"Would you calm down?" sighed Mary-Anne as she watched him make yet another circuit around the tiny apartment. "I'm sure there's nothing to worry about."
At that comment, he made a yell that sounded like a howler monkey being castrated with a dull butter knife . "Nothing to worry about?! There's everything to worry about! This is sooo fucking wrong that there are no words in existence to express just how wrong it is! Don't you see?! Zim and Gaz dating has gotta be one of the signs of the Apocalypse!!"
She rolled her eyes in a tired but cute way. "Quit overreacting, Dibby dear. It's not as bad as you think."
"You're right." he muttered, plopping onto the couch. "It's worse."
"Oh really? It's that terrible that your sister has a boyfriend now?"
"You don't understand, Mary-Anne, and that's my fault. I should've told you more about what my family before now, but I never thought they'd be a problem." Rubbing his temples, he leaned back. "Let me be brief about my sister Gaz: She hates everyone. The entire world could be laid to ruin today and she'd be just fine with that. Sometimes I think Gaz only lives off of pizza and pure malice. The only thing that keeps her from becoming a creature of pure EVIL is the fact that she thinks the concept's too stupid for her to deal with."
"Okay, then what about Zim?"
Dib laughed dryly. "Considering that he looks upon humanity as being a collection of useless shit-flinging monkeys who are so far beneath him that he won't willingly touch one with his bare hands… I don't think Zim's with my sister because he likes her charming personality…"
"Come on! You don't know that for sure. Maybe he and Gaz really do love each other."
"Ha! The only things Gaz loves are Bloaty's and her GameSlave2. As for Zim, the only things he cares for is destruction and conquest." Seeing that she was rolling her eyes again, Dib rankled. "Look, Mary-Anne! I'm serious about this. You don't know them like I do… If Zim has stooped to running around with a human- eh, make that humanoid- ,then he must be plotting something. And it must be something big if he's crazy enough to enlist Gaz's help. If it was anybody else, I'd think he'd have drugged them or implanted a mind control device or some other bullshit like that… But not with Gaz. I'm not sure how Zim convinced her to go along with his sick scheme, but she's definitely a willing partner in whatever it is…"
"Dib, you're blowing this way out of proportion."
"No I'm not!" he shouted, leaping to his feet. "Everything I have on Zim says that…"
"Hold on! Everything you have on Zim?" Frowning crossly, Mary-Anne glared at him. "You weren't looking at that file again, were you?"
"No-no! Of course not! I haven't looked at the files in days!"
"Files?! So, it's files now?!" She angrily jabbed him in the chest with a finger. "You said there was only one of those Zim Files and that you dissolved in acid before we started this!"
"I never said that!"
From nowhere, Mary-Anne whips out a DVD and pops it into a handy DVD-player. After a brief roar of snow comes the recording of that very living room for the point of view of Mary-Anne. Apparently, she's the one taping it as the camera is looking down at Dib with his head is in her lap.
"Dibby, did you get rid of everything Zim-related in your life?"
"Yah. Put it through the industrial shredder, burned it, and dumped the lot in a vat of acid. There's no way I'm ever, ever, ever going to see that crap again!"
She cuts off the DVD.
"Why would you tape that?"
"That doesn't matter." Mary-Anne crossed her arms, taking on a tone of a scolding mother. "It's barely been a week and you're already relapsing into your bad habits! You may have gotten over the first step by admitting that you have a problem, but you're not following through with the therapy. The only way you can get through this is by helping me help you."
Feeling absolutely guilt-ridden and more than a little upset, Dib caved. "Okay! I get it! I'm an addict, alright?! I'm addicted to the paranoia! But you can't expect my obsessive tendencies just to vanish overnight." He inhaled, trying not to let out the jagged little sobs. "Chasing Zim was-has- been such a large part of my life that I… I just can't help myself sometimes. It's so hard to let it go."
"I know, sweetie. I know…" Gently, she wrapped her arms around him and stroked his hair. "But you can get through this if you will just help me help you."
Embracing her, Dib lied softly, "You're right, Mary-Anne. Being with you has been the best thing I've ever done."
"Dib…"
"Mary-Anne…"
She closed her eyes and leaned closer in expectation. Slowly, his lips parted and…
"You…wanna get something to eat?"
"Uh…sure." Crestfallen, Mary-Anne let him go and picked up her coat. "McMeaty's or Bloaty's?"
"How about a some of Chicky-Lickey's Old Fashioned and a trip to the lake?"
She brightened considerably. "That sounds wonderful!"
--A short time later…
Empty sodas between them and the radio blaring, Dib sped his Jaguar XK8 up the woody hillside at the sort of pace only achieved in those over-hyped car commercials. Keeping one eye on the road, he glanced over at Mary-Anne.
((Good-bye girl… Because I'm lonely…))
((Good-bye girl… It isn't over…))
He couldn't understand why he'd suggested going up to the lake. Dib really didn't want to go there because, from the look in her eyes, he knew what she was expecting of him. And, as long as there was Zim, he could never feel the same…
((Good-bye girl… You know you own me ))
((Good-bye girl… Yes, I'm a loser ))
In the locker room, in the cafeteria, even in the middle of class, everybody was talking about the latest couple to make it up to the lake. Oh, the stories they did tell. Of parked cars, tight pants, wet upholstery, giggles and fumbles in the dark of a backseat…
((You're cheating on me… ))
What the hell possessed him to even start going out with Mary-Anne anyway? He'd never expected that she'd want to go this far. In fact, Dib was surprised that he'd kept up the act as long as he had.
((Good-bye girl… You are the only one…))
((Good-bye girl… Although you own me.))
((Good-bye girl… You only owe me LOVE…))
Mary-Anne half turned to face him, smiling with a gleam of shy lust in her eye. Another button pop loose from her blouse, exposing a tiny silver of lace bra.
((Good-bye girl… Well, if you're lonely… ))
((Good-bye girl… Why don't you join me?))
((Good-bye girl… You know, it's only LOVE!))
Then again, why the hell shouldn't he seize the moment?! It wasn't like anyone else had to know about it. He didn't need to prove his manhood to anybody else by bragging about going up to the lake with some hot girl! And he sure as hell didn't care what they thought of him anymore!
(( I'm cheating on you! Yah!))
The hell with them all!
(( I'm thinking of you…))
But what if someone found out? What if…What if it got back to Zim? Just what the hell would the little nutcase do to him…
((I'm cheating on you! ))
Screw Zim! This was all his own fucking fault anyway! Why should Dib care what that jackass thought of him?
((I'm cheating on me…))
Because it was wrong. This whole thing was just plain wrong.
((Good-bye girl.))
The car whipped up a cloud of red and golden leaves as it climbed the steep hillsides. Finally, a glimmer of water became visible just hidden by a dense matting of naked trees. The lakeside was nearly deserted that chilly evening.
Pulling up to a secluded spot just overlooking the lake, Dib yanking up on the emergency brake and turned to Mary-Anne. He started to say something, but looked back away. For several minutes they sat there, radio playing an upbeat tune about pretty gay boys and discos, watching the sun sinking in a molten syrupy glob into the faint ripple of the water.
((You see her…))
(( You can't touch her… ))
Dib leaned his seat back and looked back at his girl. Mary-Anne was looking back at him, aglow in the dying blaze of sunlight. Her hair was loose today, hanging in ringlets of burning red around that soft face. Any boy would kill to be Dib just then.
((You hear her…))
(( You can't hold her… ))
"Dib…" she began, but he reached out and touched her lips to quiet her.
"Shh… don't talk." With a feather light touch, Dib ran his hand across her face and wound his fingers in her hair.
((You want her…))
(( You can't have her… ))
He leaned closer, pressing gently against her body. His other hand snaked around her waist and he pulled her nearer.
It was like something out of a movie the way they kissed. Okay, maybe no-one in the movies has chickeny flavored kisses, but this was pretty damn close to perfection. Every motion was passionate, tender, slowly, and deep…
((Now you wish she'd never ))
(( Come back here again… ))
A lonecreepermoved closer to the parked car, stealthy and determined. It was just close enough to watch the dark haired boy lean over his girl and kiss her as if it was the last kiss on Earth. Something deep insider the creeper's organs twanged painfully.
(( Ooooh… Never…))
(( Come back here again…))
Dib slide his hands up her sides, pushing Mary-Anne's shirt up until it was bunched over her more than ample chest. His fingers lightly grazed a lacey edge of bra.
In the shadows, the creeper growled.
((You want to…))
(( But she won't let you… ))
From the dark of the undergrowth, a pair of gleaming red eyes stared at the couple. The further Dib went, the deeper the creeper's growling and the hotter it's rage became. It grew and grew and grew until…
((She's not so special! ))
(( So look what you've done, boy! ))
((She's not so special! ))
(( So look what you've done!))
Blinded by fury, Zim broke cover and leapt toward the car. Before either Dib or his girl could react, a blur of violet and black lunged out from nowhere, tackling the maddened alien and send both over the embankment.
((Now I'm nailed above you! ))
(( Gushing from my side… ))
Sputtering out sandy gravel, Zim snapped around to face his opponent with a flurry of claw swipes. She deftly dodged and countered his frantic blows. If she wasn't so pissed off, she might've laughed at his stupidity.
((It's with your sins ))
(( that you have killed me! ))
((Thinking of your sins I die))
But Gaz wasn't in the mood for either laughs or mercy as she cracked her crazed ally upside the head and sent him sprawling out across the slip of rocky beach. The idiot nearly ruined three days worth of work.
((Thinking how You'd let them touch you))
With a quick twist, Gaz slammed Zim hard into the bank-side and under the cover of shadows.
Above them, Dib was standing on the edge of the embankment, scanning the beach for any sign of the strange things he'd seen flash by the fogged up window. Seeing nothing, he went back to the car.
((How you never realized…))
(( that I'm ripped and hang forsaken! ))
Once she heard the engine rev and gravel crunching into the distance, Gaz step in front of Zim. Snarling, she reared back and starting beating on him so bad that even a pimp would've been shocked.
((Knowing never will I rise…))
(( Again ))
Under the onslaught, Zim fell to the ground. But Gaz didn't stop, switching over to kicking and stomping on the prone Invader as if he was a really stubborn cockroach.
((You still see her…))
(( Oh… And you hear her… ))
"What the fuck were you thinking?!" she roared, slamming her heel into his ribs. "We could've been discovered!"
((Ooh…you want her ))
(( Oh, you want to… ))
Tired of kicking his ass, Gaz took a step back to catch her breath.
((You see her… ))
Zim just laid there, bloodied and panting. He looked up at Gaz, tasting the bile of hate… Or was that ruptured organ juice…
(( You still hear her…))
"Well, jerk-off," she hissed, ready to give him another pounding. "Explain yourself."
((You want her ))
(( And you still want to… ))
"Nothing, Gaz…" he spat, getting back up on his feet. "I… saw an opening and decided to take it. Is there anything wrong with that?"
"Let me think… Yes." She pulled out a pack of wet-naps and started wiping the blood off herself. "According to the plan- Which, may I remind you, was mostly your stupid idea- We're only suppose to be keeping tabs on the love-birds until just the right moment."
"I knew that! And besides, Gaz, how do you know that wasn't the right moment?!" Zim puffed up his chest, then winced in pain. "After all, I'm the Invader here! You have neither the training nor the experience necessary to determine or even understand the sheer GENIUS of Irken strategy!"
"You mean flailing around like a drunken sorority chick and repeated getting your ass handed to you by a girl?"
Zim rankled and hissed at that comment. "Can we go back to the base now?"
"Why?"
"Well, for one thing, I'd like to repair the damage you've done to my body…" he sneered, stomping past her.
"Fine." Stuffing the used wet-naps into her pocket, Gaz followed the battered alien back up the embankment and to the ratty, avocado-colored El Camino. Much to her surprise, Zim opened her door and stood waiting for her to get in.
"Umm, Zim…" she asked, eyebrow arching. "What are you doing?"
Smiling despite the swelling bruises, Zim replied, "I'm being polite! That's what any good, chivalrous boyfriend is supposed to do, correct? And I, ZIM, shall prove to you just how GRACIOUS I can be!"
"Okay…" Not wanting to hear anymore of his babbling, Gaz got into the El Camino and let Zim shut the door for her.
Still smiling, Zim walked around the back of the car. Oh, he was going to be gracious alright… Gracious like the scorpion riding the dog across the stream. And Gaz had given him plenty of venom to sting with…
With that in mind, he slide into the driver's seat. Giving the piece of crap a moment to warm-up, Zim whipped his piece of crap car onto the road and set off toward the base.
-----
(a/n: Yes. You read that right: Dib has himself a sports car while Zim, with all his AMAZING alien tech, got an avocado-colored El Camino. Classy, huh?)