A/N: When I saw Angel's "Not Fade Away" with everyone spending their last day doing what they want I decided to apply it to Buffy. What would she do on what might be her last day? Set during "Chosen".
Her Last Day
3pm
Buffy was glad that the pep talk to the Potentials had gone well. For the first time they seemed to be understanding her and her motives. For this she was grateful. For the coming apocalypse tomorrow she was not so grateful. This time tomorrow she would be descending into the Hellmouth and battling an army of super strong Turok-han's and Buffy didn't mind admitting that was not her idea of fun.
She came to realise that she had one day left before she might die.
One day.
Buffy Summers had always wanted to do things in her life that she might now never get to do. And while most might spend their last day on Earth bungee jumping or swimming with sharks, Buffy had other ideas. Those types of things had never been important to her because being the Slayer meant she got enough of a buzz from her occupation. No, if Buffy could choose between an action-packed life or one of quiet and peace in the country she would choose the latter. Having said that she knew she would always crave the action, the fight, the hunt, the kill. But it no longer defined her.
So, Buffy sat down in her bedroom and made a mental list of all the things she thought she could feasibly accomplish in the next twenty four hours. She tried to be realistic knowing that she couldn't right all of the wrongs she had been a part of, or mend all the broken ties to people she had once loved as her life moved on.
Here she was at twenty-two years of age and she was making a list of things to do in the twenty four hours before she died. It was a morbid thought.
It was the life of a Slayer. Soon all of the bickering, squealing, allergy-ridden girls downstairs would know that burden too. Buffy didn't know whether she was saving them or damning them. Either way it was what was needed to win their war.
"The mission is what matters"
Buffy looked up. There was no one in the room, just a distant echo of a memory in her mind. More began to follow.
"The mouth of hell is going to swallow us whole…and it'll choke on us"
She closed her eyes.
"I mean, I know every Slayer comes with an expiration mark on the package, but I want mine to be a long time from now. Like a Cheeto"
Buffy wished she still had that enthusiasm, that drive, that certain naivety that she was good enough, strong enough, fast enough to put off the inevitable. A Slayer's life was short and rarely sweet.
"I'm sixteen, Giles! I don't want to die"
Sure, she had made it further than most Slayers but eventually she knew that something would come that she could not beat and that would be the end for her. That might very well happen tomorrow.
So, she had things to do before then.
4pm
The graveyards were beautiful in the daylight, the trees swayed in the barmy wind and everything seemed so much less morbid, so much less…well, dead. Buffy rarely visited these places in the day, her usually cemetery routine was go out, patrol, kill vamps and go home. She hadn't given much thought to mourning those she had lost by a visit to their graves. She had stopped by now and then to say hi but not frequently. Buffy guessed she should feel bad about this but she had always figured the people she had loved would appreciate her living her life and trying to find happiness more. Today though, she had to say her goodbyes and maybe even "see you soon" however, she tried not to think too much about the implications of that.
With a bunch of bluebells in her hand and with a purpose in her stride Buffy Summers reached the grave of her mother.
She looked at the simple polished grey stone of the tombstone and sighed.
Joyce Summers
1957-2001
Beloved Mother
Pure of Heart
It didn't cover the sheer magnitude of what she had meant to Buffy and to Dawn but it still had a sweet sentiment and she was sure her mother would have been okay with the wording choice. Not that it mattered in the scheme of things. It wasn't like her mother was here. Graves were for the living, not the dead. They were a consolation, an emotional outlet. One Buffy had come to utilise today.
"Hey mom," She smiled and knelt down beside the grave "I brought you these. I remember they're your favourite. I still remember you telling me about how that guy you had a crush on in fifth grade gave you some bluebells and since then they've been…they've been your favourites"
The tombstone remained as it was. Not that she was surprised. She didn't expect it to suddenly start speaking. God that sounded terrible. Joking to herself at her mother's graveside. Buffy closed her eyes and frowned. Why was it so hard just to talk her to mom?
She didn't have an answer.
Instead she placed the flowers across the grave and took a deep breath "So, hey, big apocalypse coming tomorrow. I know, I know; again? But this one's really bad. I…I guess you know all this. I mean, you're meant to be looking down on us, right? Right. So…but…I mean apart from the whole end-of-the-world thing I think everybody is okay. I mean, Xander is not so okay because of his eye but he's dealing I think. I hope. Dawn is good though. She misses you. So do I. But she's doing okay, and I've been training her to help get her some self-defence. Nothing too dangerous but essential"
Buffy Summers looked down at her hands in her lap and kept her eyes fixated on her fingers, the way they were weaved together like a basket.
"I'm doin' okay too. The Slayer stuff is hard but I'm getting through it. This year…it's been easier. I've got a lot of people supporting me, people who were always there but I guess I just lost sight of. Giles, Willow, Xander, Spike…we're all a lot closer this year. Okay, so there was that one incident when they threw me out of the house…well, not Spike because he was with Andrew…oh and Andrew is…Sorry, I'm getting off track"
Buffy reached over and picked the flowers up and then put them down again in a fractionally different way. Anything to keep her body busy.
"The point is that I'm okay. I love you and I miss you but I'm okay. If something goes wrong tomorrow I won't be afraid because I know I'll see you and everyone else I love. So, I just want to tell you not to worry about me but if you could put a good word in for me and maybe send down some thunderbolts tomorrow, I'd appreciate it. Thanks mom"
Buffy nodded mostly to herself and then she stood slowly and looked down at the place her mother's body rested.
"Goodbye"
4.30pm
Her next step after visiting her mother and Jenny and Tara was to deal with the living. Or maybe the missing. She picked up the phone and went to her bedroom, shut the door and tried to get some semblance of privacy.
It took her numerous phone numbers and transfers and being disconnected a few times but she eventually managed to track down her father after just over an hour. Buffy was surprised she had made it this far at all. For many years she had not seen her father, he hadn't even been reachable when her mother had died.
Hank Summers Dad of The Year.
Now though she sat on her bed cross-legged and waited for the call to be connected to a man she barely thought she knew anymore.
There was a loud click and then a voice.
"This is Hank Summers –"
"Dad" Buffy started.
"…I'm not in right now, or I am in a meeting. Please leave your name and number and I will get back to you"
There was a beep.
Of course. Of course it would be the machine. Buffy took a deep breath and hung up the phone. She shouldn't have expected anything more from the man who had once been her father.
Back to the people who actually cared about her then.
4.45pm
Giles sat at the dining table making plans and eating a scone, drinking a cup of tea. He couldn't have looked more stereotypically British at that moment and Buffy found her mood brightening just seeing him like this.
Hank Summers hadn't been her father for a long time. That role had been filled by Giles in every capacity but biologically. In the end what did biology have to do with who you love and who you care for? Very little, in fact.
Sometimes Buffy wondered what her life would have been like if her parents had stayed together. Would it have been happier or miserable? She would never know and right now that wasn't important because as far as she was concerned her family were all with her. Everyone was here, even her mother in a way. Xander, Willow, Dawn, Giles. They were her true family. People say you can't choose your family but that isn't necessarily true. You're born into a family but you can always get yourself another.
A surrogate family.
They had their fights, their disagreements and their moments of downright hurtfulness towards one another but in the end together they would stand, divided they would fall.
Buffy was grateful that she had people like them in her life. More grateful then they would ever realise.
"Oh, Buffy" Giles looked up startled, his glasses a little skew-whiff where he had been leaning the base of his hand against the frames "I didn't hear you. A perk of Slayer stealth, I hope"
"Why?"
"Well, it's either that or I'm losing my hearing" He smiled softly.
"Ah" Buffy nodded, smiled back "Rest assured. I was using all my Slayer sneakiness to surprise you"
He bowed his head "I thought so. So, is something troubling you?"
"Nope. Just wanted to spend a little time with my Giles"
He smiled again, wider this time and it was good to see. A little while ago things had been quite tense between Giles and her when the subject of a certain vampire would come up. Now though time was too short to hold grudges and things had been appeased. Buffy reached across the table and took his hand, it was warm and large and comforting.
Giles squeezed her hand back, his own eclipsing hers.
"You'll do fine tomorrow. You'll do better than fine" Giles assured her.
Buffy looked down at the table then back up at him "I hope so. Those girls are counting on me"
"You won't steer them wrong"
Buffy wanted to ask but what if I do? But she didn't. That sort of questioning was pointless at this time. This was inevitable. It was what she had to do. Time to except her life and all of its bad points but also all of its good points.
"I'm just relieved you'll be in this with me" She replied after a few moments "You and everyone"
"One hundred percent" He confirmed.
At that moment Xander and Willow walked in chatting animatedly about the possibility of Xander getting a part in the Pirates of the Caribbean sequel. Buffy valued these moments. The breaks away from the trauma, the mission, the apocalypses. The moments when they were just normal. Or as normal as any of them could be.
Xander had come back from losing his eye so well and Buffy was so proud of him but every time she looked at him her heart would break a little. Out of all of them Xander was the one who had done the least to ever deserve something like this happening to him.
Willow was also showing great strength in controlling her magick and Buffy knew that what she was asking of the witch tomorrow was going to be a strain on her. She stood by her convictions though, Willow was the strongest person she knew and Buffy was certain that she could handle it.
They stopped in front of the dining table still both grinning.
"Buff, what do you think? Me, the replacement for Johnny Depp?" Xander swept his arms out with a flourish and poses with a pout.
Buffy laughed "Yeah, Xand. And Andrew can be the next Orlando Bloom"
"Well, damn" Willow grouched "I wanted to be Keira Knightley. But that's changed my mind"
Giles cleared his throats "And where exactly does this all leave me?"
"You can be one of the decayed skeleton guys"
"Well, thank goodness for that" He sighed and shook his head "Honestly, I'm a Watcher! I'm powerful. I'm commanding. I'm…"
"Delusional?" Buffy asked with a grin.
"Oh, fine" He muttered and looked back at his papers.
Xander walked over to him and ruffled his hair "Good boy"
"Do you mind?" He eyed the boy with disdain.
Xander just beamed back.
Willow slid into the chair at the other end of the table and looked over at Giles and Buffy "So, what'cha is doing?"
"Having quality bonding time" Buffy replied.
"Ah, the whole aah-we-may-die-a-fiery-death-tomorrow crisis" Xander rubbed his hands together and sat down in a vacant seat "Who is else is awaiting that with much anticipation?"
The Slayer shook her head "I'm trying not to think too much about it. I just want to make things right with people in case…in case the worst happens"
"Yeah, I guess we should all try that" Xander nodded "I should probably find Anya"
"We all have people we should make amends with" Giles said slowly "I for one probably have more than most accumulated over my long, long, long life. As you all keep pointing out I am old and/or decaying"
"Aww, Giles –" Willow started in an apologetic tone.
"The point is" Giles put his hand up "We can never fix all of the bridges we have burned"
Buffy nodded in agreement "But we can try to fix some of them"
"Or at least put some support beams up and make sure they don't fall into the rivers" Xander added then looked at their faces "Builder talk. Just disregard it"
"Planning to" Buffy smiled.
Willow "I think I should just tell you guys that I love you and that whatever bad things we've been through in the past…they don't define us. We're strong together and you're all my best friends"
There was a moment of silence and then they all stood and leaned across the table into a group hug for a long few moments.
"Feelings mutual, guys" Buffy gave them one last squeeze and then they disbanded.
Xander gave them a soppy grin "That brought a tear to my eye socket"
"Thanks, all of you" Buffy said as she started to leave "For everything"
5.45pm
Buffy opened the front door to her house figured she could watch what might be her last sunset. Someone had beaten her to it though. Sitting on the front porch and smoking a cigarette was Faith. Her back was turned to her, her long wavy brunette hair shining in the last rays of the sun. The other Slayer turned to face Buffy.
"B," She took one last drag of the cigarette then threw it on the ground and stomped it out "I'll get out of your way"
"No, Faith, stay" Buffy shut the door behind her and walked over, sitting down on the porch by the side of her "We should talk"
"'Bout what?"
"Us"
"Woah, B," Faith put her hands up "I like you…well, sometimes, but I'm definitely a many-men-girl. Maybe, Will –"
"No" Buffy shook her head "I mean, about our past. All the…stupid things we've done to one another. We could have been like…"
"Sisters?" Faith arched an eyebrow.
"Sounds impossible, I know" She shook her hair out of her face and looked towards the sun "But it really wasn't. We could have been close. I mean, we were the Chosen Two. The whole thing about the Slayer is that she's alone. Well, with us that wasn't true. We should have valued that"
Faith looked down at the floor and shrugged, she kicked the toe of her boot absently into the pavement and Buffy watched her for a moment then turned back to the sunset. The hue of colours were beautiful. Yellow, orange, red, dusky pink, light blue. It would be dark soon but for these few minutes the sky was a canvas of colour. You only notice these things once in a while. Mostly you just let it past you by. It was kind of contrived to be sitting here on what might be her last day, watching the sun go down. Symbolic, much?
Buffy didn't care. It was beautiful.
"You're right" Faith spoke suddenly "We should have been close. But we weren't. We were a lot different. You were always so strait-laced and I was…"
"A big ho-bag?" Buffy offered.
Faith laughed "Sure. I tried to change you. It was stupid. But then I dropped out of high school, so what can you expect? And, hey, you tried to gut me"
"You sided with the enemy, kidnapped my best friend, tried to kill my boyfriend, stole my body, slept with my other boyfriend…should I go on?" Buffy asked.
"I get you" Faith nodded "Oh and you left out, got you thrown out of your own house by all your friends. I'm pretty sure you blame me for that"
"No," She shook her head "I blame you all"
Faith arched an eyebrow.
"And I blame myself" Buffy admitted "For pushing everyone away and for being so hard on you all but I had to –"
"Win the battle. I know. We all know" Faith looked at Buffy in the eyes "It just took us a little while"
"And nearly being blown up"
"That too"
Buffy smiled a little "I'm not sure I can forgive you for some of the things you did, and I'm thinking you weren't too ecstatic about the coma thing but, I want to just lay down the gauntlet. From now on we need to support each other and the girls. We need to be a team, especially for tomorrow"
"Agreed" Faith nodded "We'll be like Butch and Sundance"
"Who?"
"Don't know. Just thought it sounded good"
Buffy snickered a little and then Faith joined in and they ended in a hearty girly laugh. It was all rather surreal. As far as Buffy knew they had never really laughed together, or joked, or done anything remotely like it. At least not for a long time.
"So, are you making the rounds?" Faith asked "Talking to everyone, in case we all get whacked tomorrow?"
"Something like that" Buffy replied "Just with less of the "whacked" thinking"
"Who's left on the list?"
The blonde Slayer smiled and looked towards the horizon just in time to see the sun go down "That would be telling"
A/N: All reviews gratefully accepted