Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, not me. It's for the best, really.
Warnings: Swearing, violence, and half-hearted boy luv. I don't believe there are spoilers here, though the final scene probably makes more sense if you're up to date with the manga.
Rating: PG-13, for now
Edit: I edited this section because, at least in my browser, things like scene breaks were sadly lacking. Those are actually very important. It still probably looks awful, since this QuickEdit thing hates Word and any attempts I make at prettying it up. I apologize.
Day 2Iruka growled as a piercing alarm pulled him from his sleep. He growled again when he found it out of his reach. He crawled over the person in bed beside him and groped for the off switch. He breathed a sigh of relief when he finally hit it.
Collapsing across his bedmate he groaned. "I feel awful."
No response.
He pushed at a shoulder. "Still alive?"
Kakashi hit him.
"Hey!"
"Let me die in peace."
He shook his head. "Fine then."
He crawled out of bed and took a quick shower. Returning to his room he found Kakashi still unconscious so he dressed quickly in the dark before moving to the kitchen. He made some tea and a very light, quick breakfast. He was almost finished, and on his third cup of tea, when he noticed his glass of water was missing. A few seconds later someone collapsed against his back, arms wrapping around his neck. He could feel them holding his glass.
"What happened?"
"You ran into some friends, got completely drunk, and passed out on my table."
"Oh. Sorry."
He tried to shrug. "Well, you didn't throw up, so I can forgive you."
Kakashi grunted.
Iruka nudged him. "Don't fall asleep on me. Again."
"You get up too early."
"I teach. Remember?"
"Still too early."
"Yeah, yeah. You going to move soon?"
Kakashi managed to slouch his way over to another chair. He collapsed onto the table.
Iruka got up and refilled the water glass. He put it near Kakashi, who put a hand around it but didn't drink.
"I'm going to check on Naruto before class. You can stay here as long as you like. Try not to kill yourself."
Kakashi nodded slightly. "You're being awful nice."
"I'm in a rush. I'll lecture you later."
"I'll try not to be here."
"If you leave before noon could you bring Naruto some ramen?"
"Worried he isn't eating right?"
Iruka made a face. "More worried he'll bother me until I give in, otherwise."
"Hmm...."
Iruka shook his head. "It's a wonder you're even this awake, the way you were drinking. Just don't get sick. And if you're going to fall asleep, aim for a bed."
"Yes, dear."
Iruka glared at him but left, shutting the door perhaps a bit harder then necessary. Five minutes later Kakashi stretched, stood, and downed the water in one go. He looked around the apartment with a half-smile. A part of him noted that he really couldn't spy since he had permission but a good ninja never let little things get in the way of being sneaky.
So the hunt for Things That Will Embarrass Iruka began. Childhood pictures, old love letters, incredibly tasteless clothes, porn... Well, the porn was easy for Kakashi's trained eye to find, but it was the usual kind. The women were a bit thin for his tastes, but not extremely so. He briefly considered adding something unusual to the pile but the last time he'd done that he had to hide from Gai for a week. It had seemed excessive, for it wasn't his fault Gai's girlfriend had found those copies of Pretty Little Boys. And he certainly hadn't hung that perfectly tailored schoolgirl's uniform in Gai's closet. He still wasn't sure whether Asuma or Kurenai had done that.
He shook off the memory. He had a new victim to embarrass!
He eventually found what he was looking for trapped between the headboard and the wall. It paid to be thorough. Flipping the book open he smirked at the inscription. 'In memory of our torrid love affair – Kai (Remember, if you kill me you have to explain to the girlfriend why. In detail.)'
A man's name, torrid love affairs, another woman, and 'details', all inscribed on the inside cover of a book of homoerotic poetry?
He just had to bring this book with him next time he visited Iruka's class.
###
Sakura stared past the collection of flowers in front of her as she tried to decide what to buy. It had been easier when Sasuke was in the hospital, but he'd been discharged and she couldn't seem to find him anymore. She had to buy Lee his flowers, of course, but she wasn't sure if she should buy any for Naruto. If she could even see him. She'd tried to visit a couple days after he'd arrived but the doctor's had refused to let her into the room. He had to be feeling better now. She couldn't remember him really being ill before; all the times he'd missed class he had just been skipping out.
"Are you going to buy something or trying to make them wilt?"
She ignored Ino and stood. "Just the usual, today."
Naruto would just take a flower as encouragement anyway.
Sakura stood over Naruto's hospital bed, watching him.
He was asleep. Quiet. Almost. He would occasionally murmur, but she knew he was incapable of complete still ness. He looked healthy enough; there were no scars and few bandages.
She watched him for another minute before turning to leave. She'd visited, he was fine, and staying longer just risked him waking. She couldn't make good on her escape, however, since someone attempted to enter as she tried to exit. She and Kiba stared at each other, startled. Akamaru popped out of Kiba's shirt and yipped. Sakura winced and shoved them back out, shutting the door behind her.
"Hey!" Kiba protested. "What was that for?"
"Why are you here?"
"I was visiting. How about you?"
She glared at him. "Leaving."
"You could've waited a second."
She ignored that. "Why are you visiting Naruto anyway?"
"I need to talk to him. Why else?"
Boys. No other creature could be so annoying. "He's asleep."
"Now?"
"He's sick." She stressed. "He needs rest."
"Hasn't he been here a week? He was awake yesterday."
"How do you know?"
"Hinata talked to him."
"Hinata? Why was she here?"
"I guess she wanted to talk to him too."
Sakura glared at the door, wondering when Naruto became so popular.
"Didn't Sasuke tell you he woke up?"
She snapped back to attention. "Sasuke?"
He rolled his eyes. That would get her attention. "Yeah. Hinata says he's been visiting almost as much as she has. Keeps walking in to find him glaring at Naruto."
Why would Sasuke be visiting? At all? She had to find him.
Kiba looked at the door. "Asleep, huh?"
"Yeah." She mumbled, wondering if it was still early enough to catch him on the way to training.
Kiba frowned. "Guess I shouldn't wake him. Bah. I'll straighten him out – Hey, where are you going now?"
Sakura simply walked off, ignoring him.
"What's wrong with that girl?"
Akamaru barked emphatically.
Kiba watched Naruto's door for a bit before shaking his head. "Lazy brat. Hey, Akamaru, let's go see if Kurenai really will faint if we show up early!"
Akamaru wriggled out of Kiba's shirt and lead the way down the hallway.
###
Naruto yawned, waking slowly. At least today he knew where he was.
"Finally awake, huh?"
He jumped. Why couldn't anyone wait until he noticed them to speak? "Eh? Neji?"
Hyuuga Neji stood leaning against the wall by the door. He simply nodded.
"What are you doing here?"
"I was visiting Lee and decided to stop by. Gai-sensei had meant to visit you but the nurses said he was too loud."
That was one way to describe him. "Why were you waiting for me to wake up then?"
"I wasn't." Neji replied simply. He spoke again before Naruto could. "It's already past noon."
Naruto blinked then looked at the window. The curtains were drawn. "Really?"
Neji nodded again, though Naruto was looking the other way.
"Man, I slept a lot." Naruto threw off the covers and stretched. "Is it too late for lunch?"
"Probably."
"No fair!"
"Just ask a nurse to bring you something. They're usually nice about that kind of thing."
Naruto hesitated. "Yeah...sure."
Neji tilted his head slightly but his voice remained flat. "Hmm?"
"I don't like talking to them. They keeping taking my temperature and asking me stuff. It's like they think I'm dying."
"Are you?"
"I don't think so."
"Then tell them that."
'They don't listen. They keep saying I don't really know."
"What happened?"
"I can't remember."
Neji raised an eyebrow.
Naruto shrugged. "They say that's pretty normal. Considering how messed up my head was."
Neji's eyes widened slightly but he said nothing.
Naruto sighed, resting a hand on his stomach. Then he suddenly looked up, face excited, as if he's thought of something. "Hey, hey, Neji?"
A cautious, "Yes?"
"Maybe you could ask them to bring me something. Ramen?"
Neji moved away from the wall. "Apparently they hit you harder than you thought."
"Wait, wait! Just ask, it isn't that hard!"
"They'll want to check on you now that you're awake, you know."
"Fine, fine. Just ask, okay?"
"Why don't you ask?"
"Because," Naruto faltered, voice dropping. "It's not like they'd give me any."
"Then why should I bother asking?"
Naruto threw his pillow at him. "Just do it!"
"Keep yelling and I won't have to."
"You really are a complete bastard, aren't you?"
Neji simply shrugged again.
"Ask!" Naruto whined.
"No."
"Ask!"
"No!"
"Ask!"
"N-" Neji cut himself off. "I don't have to put up with this.
He turned, opened the door, and stepped out. He'd barely exited before he was tackled from behind.
"I'm hungry!" Naruto wailed, almost directly in his ear.
Neji winced. "Don't yell. I can – could – hear you."
"Hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry!"
He struggled to get free but Naruto clung with a surprising strength. "Let go!"
"Ask!"
"I don't have to! With the way you're carrying on everyone already knows that you're hungry."
"See? They aren't going to bring me food. So ask."
"Why would my asking change that?"
"Just ask!"
"I already said no! Let me go!"
Surprisingly Naruto did. Unfortunately Neji was still shoving him away, so he fell against the wall, hitting it with his back and head.
Naruto winced, clutching his head. "Ow! Why does everyone seem so intent on giving me brain damage?"
"Don't whimper." Neji admonished, concentrating. "Byakugan!"
He stared as the flow of Naruto's chakra was revealed. An unusual large amount of charka was flowing throughout his body and a strange energy had mixed itself with Naruto's. It seemed the strongest in his stomach, for some reason. Small amounts of the foreign energy were everywhere but it was also mixed in strongly in his head. Neji had never seen such a disorganized mass of charka. He even thought he saw a third kind. Naruto's and the foreign energy fused together, perhaps?
Naruto glared. "Stop staring, it's creepy."
He dropped the byakugan. "You're a mess."
Naruto grumbled. "No kidding."
Neji stood. He watched silently as Naruto pulled himself up so he was sitting. "Still hungry?"
"Eh?"
"Food?"
"Uh, yeah." He seemed confused by Neji's sudden helpfulness.
"I'll go talk to a nurse."
Naruto watched him leave, confused. "What'd I say?"
###
Iruka entered Naruto's room to find him sitting up in bed and poking at a tray of food. "You're still eating?"
Naruto smiled. "Iruka-sensei! You came to visit again!"
"Of course." He said as he grabbed a chair and pulled it over by the bed.
Naruto looked at the bag he'd brought with him. "What's that?"
"We had a written test today."
Naruto made a face. "Poor Konohamaru."
"They're necessary. How have you been today?"
"Good, good. My head still kinda hurts though."
Iruka frowned and put a hand on his forehead. Naruto tried to bat it away. "Stop that."
"What're you doing?"
"Checking if you have a fever."
"By putting your hand on my head?"
"That's the usual way."
Naruto frowned. "You mean you don't need a thermometer?"
"That is more accurate, but they aren't always around. Didn't-" He cut himself off awkwardly. Of course Naruto didn't know, his parents hadn't lived long enough to put a hand on his head sick or not.
"Didn't?" Naruto asked, unaware of where he'd been going with that.
"Hasn't a nurse done it?" Iruka tried to smooth it over.
"No. They use thermometers."
"Well, they have them available. This is just..." Something parents do. "Just a kind of check."
"Ehh. Weird."
Iruka smiled sadly. "Yeah, it is."
"How long does it take?"
He pulled his hand away. "Sorry, you distracted me. You do have a fever."
"Wow, that does work!"
"Did the nurse check earlier?"
"Yeah. She said it was just a little high, so it's probably not a problem."
"Hmm..." He looked at the tray. "Isn't that cold?"
"Nah. They just brought it in a little while ago. I woke up late."
"You didn't stay up late, did you?"
"Of course not. Nothing to do here anyway."
"Well, sleep is important for healing."
"I suppose."
Iruka tapped the tray edge. "Finish eating."
Naruto made a face. "Don't want to. Tastes awful."
"You still need to eat it."
'Why can't they have ramen here?"
"Do you really want hospital ramen?"
"Ramen's ramen. You can't ruin it."
"Don't you eat anything else?"
"Why should I?"
"It's unhealthy."
"There're vegetables in ramen."
Iruka simply Looked at him.
"I'll be fine, I'll be fine. I'm always healthy."
"Naruto..."
"Yeah?"
"You're in the hospital."
"So?"
"Again."
"Doesn't mean I'm not healthy."
Iruka sighed. "Why do I even bother, you never listen anyway."
"I listen! I just don't do everything you tell me."
"I noticed. Eat your food."
"No way. This can't be healthy, it's all mush."
"They won't poison you. Just eat it."
"It tastes like poison."
"Medicine is what tastes bad. Eat."
Naruto set his jaw. "No."
"If you do, I'll talk to the nurse about getting you ramen."
"Ichiraku ramen?"
"I thought all ramen is good?"
"Ichiraku's is best. And this stuff tastes really bad."
"How can you be a jounin when you can't even beat...whatever that is."
"I'm going to fight my opponents, not eat them."
"That's disgusting."
Naruto tried a spoonful of something particularly mushy. "So's this."
The door opened and Kakashi stepped in. "Yo! Am I interrupting anything or should I come back later?"
"Iruka-sensei's making me eat nasty stuff!"
"I think that's a vegetable." Iruka noted.
"Iruka-sensei's making me eat vegetables!"
"Hmmm..." Kakashi looked to Iruka. "Should we call you Iruka-mommy?"
Iruka glared at him as Naruto snickered. When he spoke his voice was cold. "Why are you here?"
"Just visiting." Kakashi replied breezily, moving to sit in a chair by he window. "Are you going to eat, Naruto?"
Naruto pushed the tray away. "Not hungry anymore."
Iruka made a vexed noise. There was a silence as Naruto sat with his arms crossed, Iruka frowned, and Kakashi ignored the rising tension. Eventually the door opened again and a doctor stepped into the room.
He was tall, with short black hair and a stern expression. "Uzumaki-kun?
"Yes?"
The doctor moved to the foot of the bed as a nurse removed the tray. "I'm Hyuuga Akio. How are you feeling today?"
"My head hurt a bit. The nurse gave me drugs though."
"Did it hurt the same as yesterday?"
"About the same."
Akio looked to the teachers. "Have you noticed anything?"
"I just got here." Kakashi said.
"I haven't. He's as stubborn as ever."
Naruto frowned. "Are you going to examine me now?"
"I wish I had been here to see you yesterday. Your situation is highly dangerous and potentially unstable."
"I feel fine. Don't know why everyone keeps saying I'm so sick."
Akio picked up the chart from the end of the bed. "According to Tsunade-sama, when you were found you were covered in knife wounds, bruises, had several broken bones and there was internal bleeding. There was also a great deal of trauma to your skull, which was cracked in two places. Blood loss, shock..." The doctor flipped over to the next page. "The technical list of your wounds is quite lengthy, but I'm sure you get the idea."
Naruto had gone pale. He tugged at the neck of the hospital gown.
"Your exterior wounds have all healed, I assure you. Even your bones seem to have mended. The only outward sign of your illness is that seal on your stomach."
Naruto blinked and pulled up his shirt. Sure enough, the Nine-tails seal was clearly visible. "But I'm not using any chakra!"
"On the contrary. You've been using large amounts of the-" He cut himself off. "Of chakra to heal yourself. Unconsciously, it seems."
"It never showed up before, when I was just healing."
"You've never been hurt so badly."
"I-"
Akio sighed and set the chart down. "Uzumaki-kun, if you'd been damaged any more severely you would be dead, Tsunade-sama and healing powers or no. You must realize this. While most of your wounds have healed your brain is still in some danger. Enough that even Neji noticed something was wrong with a single look. The incident earlier is most likely due to-"
"Incident? Iruka cut in.
Akio glared at him. "Please, do not interrupt me. I understand that Uzumaki-kun gets distraught when you're threatened with removal, but if you obstruct me I will make you leave anyway."
Iruka started to object but Kakashi put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. He'd again failed to notice him moving.
Akio turned back to Naruto, who looked distracted and depressed. "The possibility of brain damage is obvious in both the extended time you are taking to heal and the earlier incident. Neji told me what happened. Normally, a minor bump to the head wouldn't have affected you, but it would appear that it has disrupted something."
Naruto nodded slowly.
"Well, now that you finally seem to understand, let's get on with it. Can you feel your legs yet?"
###
"That moron!" Iruka exploded as soon as they left the hospital. "Why didn't he say anything?"
Kakashi didn't reply, but Iruka wasn't really asking.
"He said he was doing fine. Just a little head pain, he said. A little head pain! You'd think paralysis would rate higher!"
"They don't know it's permanent."
"He can't even feel his legs!"
"Well..."
Iruka growled. "I can't believe him! That Neji boy shoves him into the wall, paralyzes him, and he complains the hospital doesn't have ramen? Picks a fight over vegetables?"
"Maybe he thought he suffered enough without broccoli?"
"This isn't funny!"
"No, it isn't. May not last either."
"May not."
"Doctors hate to commit. That's why we love 'em."
Iruka stopped in the middle of the alley they were walking down. "How can you be so calm?"
"You're excited enough for both of us."
"Kakashi..."
He held up a hand. "Really, you are. Naruto needs one of us to stay calm. He expects you to be upset, but if I start acting worried he will be too. His staying calm and believing he'll heal is absolutely necessary. He has to heal himself, there's nothing the doctors can do."
Iruka thought about that. "I see. I'm sorry."
"Don't worry. No one expects mommies to be rational."
Iruka glared. "I'm not his mother."
"No, but you are his Iruka-mommy."
Iruka gave up. He'd been a teacher long enough to know that the more you protested a nickname the more often it would be used in public. You just had to ignore it and hope the other party got bored. And he so really didn't want this one to spread. He took a deep breath and continued walking. Kakashi fell into step beside him.
"I feel like cooking. Let's stop at the store."
Iruka eyed him. "All right."
"It'll make up for the fact I'm sleeping in your bed again."
Iruka twitched. "Really."
"Mhmm. Have to wake up tomorrow, some mission or another." Kakashi looked back at him. "You'll be sure I'm up and ready on time, right?"
He was not blushing. Not enough that anyone could tell, at least. "Fine."
"Yay! Let's stop by my place first, you don't have the right equipment."
Maybe he could just get Kakashi drunk. The jounin was a very sleepy drunk, he'd discovered. When they'd reached a grocery store a thought suddenly hit him. "Ne, Kakashi-sensei?"
"Hmmm?"
"Couldn't you be considered Naruto's daddy then?"
Kakashi walked into a display.
Day 3
"Sasuke! I finally found you!"
Sasuke stiffened, not turning from the rock he'd be training on. How had she found him?
Sakura ran up carrying a wrapped box. "What're you doing all the way out here? It took me forever to find you."
He turned to glare at her. She hesitated only a second. "What?" He demanded.
She held the box out to him. "Breakfast!"
"I ate before I left."
"Ahh...well...Lunch?"
"Why are you here? You didn't come all the way out here this early to give me food."
She lowered the lunch box, since he obviously wasn't interested. "I...I was... I was worried!"
He glared disbelievingly at her. Apparently she'd gotten used to that though, and continued on. "You just vanished! And here you are, pushing yourself again , and who knows how long it would be before someone found you if you collapsed out here again and-"
He cut her off. "I'm training. I don't have to check in with you."
"But we're-"
"A team? With no missions, no teacher, and no Naruto?"
"We don't need him. Kakashi will come back and then we-"
"Then we can what? Go fight Sand ninjas? Pull weeds? If you're so eager to be on a team you should be training, not delivering lunch."
She winced. "But..."
He turned away. "But nothing! I don't have time to waste with you any more."
"Then why are you always visiting Naruto?"
He froze. "I'm not there that often."
"That's not what Hinata said."
He scowled. "So what? Even if I was visiting him, what does it matter?"
"So you have time for him and not for me?"
He decided that wasn't worth answering.
"Should I leave the team too? Would you care about me then?"
Sasuke blinked. "Leave the team? Why would Naruto-" He cut himself off, suddenly angry. "He didn't make chuunin, did he?"
"Naruto? No way! But it's not like he can be part of the team now, can he?"
"Why not?"
"He'd have to be able to walk, right?"
###
Naruto groaned as someone poked at him. He was not going to wake up. Nurses had been waking him all night and he was tired of it. It wasn't like they couldn't wait until morning.
The intrusive individual poked harder. He wondered what would happen if he bit them. They'd probably leave him alone then.
"Wake up, you absolute idiot."
He frowned. Only one person called him that. "Sasuke?"
Sasuke glared at him. "Finally."
"What do you want?"
"Move."
"What?"
"Move."
Naruto stared as Sasuke watched him. "You've gone insane."
"Shut up! Just move!"
He'd never wanted to beat someone so badly. Except maybe Neji. "No!"
"Stop being stubborn, moron, and just move! Roll over or something."
Naruto's eyes widened as Sasuke leaned over. The only reason he could think of that he'd need to move would be so there was space for Sasuke and... "Ew! No! No, no, no!"
He flailed, nearly catching Sasuke on the chin. "Stay away from me, you pervert!"
Sasuke backed away. "What? Pervert?"
"Yes, you, you freaky-eyed per-"
Sasuke put a hand over his mouth, cutting him off. "Quiet. You're going to bring every nurse on the floor in here."
Naruto seemed to welcome that.
"I was just... Dammit, she said you were paralyzed, I..." He pulled back as Naruto smiled. Feeling that was too weird.
"You were worried!" Naruto pronounced triumphantly.
"Huh?"
"You were worried! About me!"
Sasuke hadn't seen Naruto look so happy since Sakura had deigned to acknowledge him. "I was not worried."
"Then why are you here?"
"I..."
"That's why you're always here! You caare!"
Sasuke growled. How dare Naruto mock him! "I don't! Care about you."
Naruto smirked. "Sure."
Sasuke grabbed a pillow and attempted to smother him. He let Naruto struggle a minute before dropping the pillow. Naruto threw the pillow across the room and glared at him, apparently speechless. Sasuke smirked. "At least you shut-"
Naruto flung himself awkwardly from the bed, crashing into Sasuke and knocking him back onto the floor. "What the hell was that?"
Sasuke flipped them over, easily pinning Naruto. They glared at each other, eye to eye. Naruto was growling quietly and Sasuke gripped his wrists hard enough to hurt. Eventually Sasuke spoke. "You really are paralyzed, aren't you?"
Naruto snarled and struggled, but Sasuke held him easily.
Sasuke sighed and leaned forward so he was cheek and cheek with Naruto, mouth by the blonde's ear. All he said was, "Good."
"Good? What's so good about it? Hah, were you worried I'd kick your-"
Sasuke stood and kicked Naruto in the stomach, staring past him as the boy gasped for breath. "Good, maybe this way I won't have to..."
Naruto grabbed at his ankle, trying to pull him off his feet. Sasuke stepped on his hand. "Too easy."
"Sasuke! What's wrong with you?"
Sasuke reached down and easily lifted him.
"Why are you always here?"
He tossed Naruto onto the bed and pinned him again, trapping his left hand over his head.
"Why can't you leave me alone?"
Sasuke watched him squirm before replying slowly. "Because, you're my friend."
With that, Sasuke reached up with his free hand and began to choke him.
He didn't waste time struggling. Sasuke was too strong to beat with only one hand and he was weaponless. He couldn't seem to depend on anyone interrupting them either. He had to find a way out of this on his own. He coughed weakly, trying to think. If only he had both hands, he could...
Suddenly he raised his free hand to form a seal with the trapped one and rasped, "Kage bunshin!"
Sasuke released his neck and turned to eliminate the three clones that had appeared behind him, all without loosening his hold on Naruto's left hand. "You're only making-"
He stopped speaking as he noticed a final clone, crouched and previously hidden by the bed, waving his hands over Naruto's free one. His eyes widened as a large ball of air seemed to appear over Naruto's hand. "What is that?"
And then the bed, and much of the floor, exploded.
Excessively long Authors notes: Hmm, this one is a bit shorter then the previous chapters, but it is a good stopping point. Also, it should be noted, that it has not, in fact, been over a year since I updated. That is entirely your imagination. Yes. Imagination. Not actual time. Really.
In the distracting words of ZIM: That went smoothly!
Anyway, it's for the best. The not!year thing. Because I ended up having to rewrite the final scene. It was almost fluffy before and, as we know, that just isn't right. Hopefully it makes sense even if you aren't up-to-date with the latest endless fight of doom. I could just subtitle this chapter: Sasuke is fubar. Even for a ninja.
Sakura finally makes her appearance and Hinata does not. She will be back though. I may be mean to her, but I do like her. I'm mean to everyone. I blame X, because I can, and I'm still getting over my fangirlish urge to refer to cherry trees as sakura. I wouldn't call it sakura pie, so I must call it a cherry tree. Mmmm, pie digressions...
Kakashi and Iruka's sleeping together? Take that as you will. You know you would anyway.
If you want to yell at me for being mean, argue the whole not!year thing, point out a plot hole or simply discuss the Naruto series, please feel free to comment here or over at my lj. I'll respond there, which I do not here.