Disclaimer: I don't own anything! (though I wish I did)

"…" Speech

Bold parseltongue

italics thoughts

Chapter 3

The morning Harry got his letter was eventful to say the least. The day started normally. Harry was woken up by Aunt Petunia screaming up at him to "come down now and make breakfast, you ungrateful brat!" while Isis muttered darkly about biting that annoying horssse-facced woman with a voicsse like a raging banshee.

Then, once everyone had finished eating breakfast, Dudley started parading around the room in his smeltings uniform while his parents looked on teary eyed. ("oh it looks perfect Didydumkins.") Harry and Isis meanwhile were trying not to burst out laughing. Uncle Vernon had just launched into his "This is a very proud day for us" speech when an owl flew in the window and dropped a letter on the table. For a few seconds everybody just stared at it in shock before the whole family threw themselves forward and proceeded to fight over it. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon wanted it because they knew what it was, Harry wanted it because he'd seen his name on it and Dudley wanted it because Harry did. After getting elbowed in the stomach a few times Harry performed the wandless equivalent of the summoning charm and ran up to the bathroom locking the door behind him. Ignoring his Uncle Vernon hammering on the door demanding to be let in, Harry ripped open the envelope. Three bits of parchment fluttered to the floor. Grabbing the nearest one Harry began to read.
'Dear Mr Potter,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We expect your owl by no later than the 1st of August. Please find enclosed a list of books needed.'

Harry was ecstatic. Isis had told him about wizarding schools but he hadn't been sure that he would be accepted. Picking up the next parchment he found that it was another letter. It read: 'Dear Mr Potter, it has come to our attention that you live in a muggle (non-magic) household. In light of this a professor from the school will come at 12 o'clock on Monday to help you buy your school things and answer any questions you might have.

Sincerely, Professor McGonnagal, deputy headmistress.

Monday, that's tomorrow! Thought Harry in alarm. Isis, do you have any idea of how to convince the Dursleys to let me go? he asked.

I think it'sss time for you to introduce them to me, replied Isis with a smirk. You'll be leaving soon though they can't retaliate.

What a wonderful idea. This will be fun, said Harry, an evil grin forming on his face. Come on, lets go. With that he opened the door to be faced with a very irate Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia. "Boy! If you think we're going to let you go to this, this school, you are sorely mistaken!" bellowed Uncle Vernon, purple faced. "I refuse to have your freakishness under my roof!"

"Oh really?" said Harry sneering. "I'm so sorry, but I don't give a shit about your opinion."

At this Uncle Vernon lost what little control he had and advanced on Harry menacingly, but he stooped short when he caught sight of Nemesis, who had slithered out of her hiding place under Harry's clothes and was hissing dangerously. All the blood left his face and he backtracked hastily.

"What the hell is that!" Uncle Vernon yelled, looking remarkably like a blown up hamster.

"Oh, you mean Nemesis! She's my pet snake and very protective of me," replied Harry taking vindictive pleasure in the Dursley's fear. Uncle Vernon was now pressed up against the wall, whimpering, while Isis advanced on him. "She's a moon snake, you know. The most poisonous snake in existence," said Harry conversationally. "They can kill with one bite." The Dursleys were all staring in horror while Nemeses began coiling herself around Uncle Vernon's neck.

"Get it off him!" shrieked Aunt Petunia.
"Only if you let me go to Hogwarts," said Harry coldly.

"Okay, okay, fine!" croaked Uncle Vernon.
"And you have to promise to be nice to me and not make me do any chores," said Harry grinning.

"I promise! Now get this thing off me!" yelled Uncle Vernon. After pretending to think it over for a couple of minutes just to see him squirm, Harry called Nemesis off. As soon as the Dursleys had run away, they both burst out laughing.

Oh my God. Did you ssssee their facessss. We should have done that yearssss ago, hissed Nemesis. Harry couldn't even answer as he was laughing too much.

A/N Thanks to all my reviewers. Which teacher should come and pick him up? Snape, Hagrid or other. Please give me your opinion.

I've decided that this is probably going to be a Dark!harry fic. Harry won't be joining Voldemort though, or Dumbledore. I think I'll make him start up his own group or something. Anyway nothings fixed yet. Harry definitely will hate Ron though. Sorry all ron-lovers out there.