CHAPTER FIVE

"Girl come to me, the only broken hearted loser you'll ever need...or I'll be left alone forever with my magazines."
--Brand New, "Magazines"

It was going to be a regular day. It was a Saturday, and I had gone in to work in the morning. The other doctor I practiced with, Dr. Marilyn Aronson, was going to work the afternoon. I wasn't much in a working mood. I was trying to force myself to plan my wedding. There were people I had to call, seating arrangements to be made, flowers arrangements to think about...a wedding dress, most of all.

So I got home early, and did just that. Rob had gone to meet some friends. They were going fishing on his friend Jacob's fishing boat. I'd been on it once, and although I loved the sea, I didn't care much for fishing. The boat reeked of fish, and was even named after fish: The Steel Bass. It had been one of our first few dates, actually. Rob found out that I loved the sea from our first surf conversation, and he also found out that my dad had been a Navy captain He borrowed the boat and took me out, just he and I, for a sunny afternoon ride. We fished for a while, but spend most of the time just talking. I remember it as the date when I really started to fall for him. The way I judged that by was the fact that never once that day did I think about how much I missed Mulder.

While he was off fishing, I was home planning who would sit with who, and going through tons of wedding catalogues. There were so many styles of wedding dresses, and it was so hard to choose just one. I had dreamed of this day for ages... It was sad that my best friend--at one point, at least--wouldn't be there. I was seriously considering sending him an invitation. It wouldn't have mattered, anyway, when I look back on it.

The day dragged on uneventfully. It was painfully normal. Rob checked in with me over the phone at three, telling me they were still out on the boat. They planned to go out to eat afterwards, so they'd probably be a while. I didn't really mind. I liked to be alone, sometimes. I remember thinking that to myself, unaware of the irony in the statement. All of it would soon become clear to me.

I must've gone through tons of wedding catalogues until I found it: the perfect dress. The top was strapless, and was textured beautifully. It came in around the models curves, a woman who was built quite a bit like me, but taller. You don't see many models my height. It accentuated her modest features, making her look curvy and utterly stunning. The top part came in at the waist in a corset kind of way, and then suddenly flared out elegantly down to her feet. There was a train in the back, and everything about it seemed to fit me perfectly. I circled it with then pen I'd been chewing on, knowing this was the exact style I wanted.

The phone rang then, startling me. I stopped staring at the dress like a little kid in a candy store, and went to the telephone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Dana, it's me," Rob said.

"Hey," I said. "You on your way home?" I asked, and looked at the clock. 6:32.

"Yeah, but the car was making a really loud, strange noise. I have no clue about these things," he laughed.

"Hmm, I knew that car needed a tune-up," I said.

"It's so sad that you probably know more about fixing this thing than I do," he said.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"About a half hour from home. Don't worry, someone stopped to help me," he said. Then, I heard him say to the man helping him, "Hey, buddy, could you watch where you spit those sunflower seeds?" in a good-natured way.

I smiled nostalgically. Yes, those things could make a big mess. I took up eating them after I moved out here. I never really noticed it, until now. I could probably use a trip to a good psychologist, I thought wryly. I stopped my musings to concentrate on the situation.

"So you're all right?" I asked.

"Uh huh, I'm fine," he said. "Good thing someone stopped," he said.

"Yeah. Be careful, okay Rob?"

"I will, Sweetheart, don't worry," he said, followed by "What? Really? Thanks again, man," to the person helping him. "See, Dana, he's done. He says it's probably just the transmission. I'll be home in a few."

"Okay. See you soon," I said.

I turned on the television and immersed myself in the bizarre plot of a Lifetime movie. They were always strange, and unbelievable. Still, I was always sucked in. This one was about a young woman being sexually harassed by her local government official, but nobody believed her. That was what most of them were about, actually, or something to that effect. A few minutes through, I'd gotten a pint of mint chocolate chip from the freezer, and was eating it from the carton. Yes, Lifetime and ice cream, a guilty pleasure of mine.

I began to grow restless, and worried, when he didn't arrive home. It was over an hour after he called that there was a knock at the door. I became suddenly nervous. My fiancé would not knock at the door of his own home... He should have been home. I opened the door to see a relatively young, blonde, male, police officer outside. Police officers at the door were never good.

"Yes?" I asked, trying my hardest to maintain my composure.

"Dana Scully?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"I'm Officer Jaret Reddick of the San Diego Police Department--"

"Is it Rob? Is he okay?"

"Are you the fiancé of Rob S. Pier?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, what's wrong?"

"Mr. Pier was in a fatal collision on his way home tonight..."

I could say nothing.

"I'm sorry," the officer said.

"Oh, God," finally escaped my lips. My hands began to tremble as tears filled my eyes. "What, what happened?" I asked.

"Initial investigations show his brakes may have been damaged. He went right through a red light, hitting another vehicle on his drivers side. He was pronounced dead upon arrival at Sharp Memorial Hospital. We most likely will not be able to further investigate the brakes due to extensive front end damage and burning..."

"Do you, um, suspect any foul play?" I asked.

"Not initially, no, this kind of thing can happen to an older car...but, well, did your fiancé have any enemies?" he asked.

I paused and answered, "No."

"Is there anyone you suspect?"

Sunflower seeds. The man who had helped was spitting sunflower seeds. The only thing holding me back from going off with Mulder was Rob. Would Mulder go that far?

"No," I answered, despite my honest suspicions. "His car," I said, wiping a tear from my cheek, "it um, was having trouble. It was making a noise... He had stopped on the way home, someone had helped him out. That was the last time we spoke..." A sob caught in my throat.

"That sounds like it was probably car trouble that caused the accident. Had he had his brakes checked out anytime recently?"

"No, he hadn't..." the car was kind of old, but still... "Was anyone else hurt?"

"The other driver has minor injuries, but that's all," he told me.

God, could Mulder have done this? Was this his way of trying to get through to me?

"When you're ready, we're going to need some paperwork filled out, but take your time," the officer said.

"Uh, yeah, thanks," I said, still crying.

"Here's my card. Just call me at the station, and I'll update you on everything," he said.

"Okay. Thank you," I said.

"I'm sorry again, ma'am."

He left and I made my way back to the couch, where I fell back and just sobbed. Suddenly he was just gone. Gone. You never realize how much you really do care about someone--love them--until they're gone. I stayed there for a long time, and then managed to get the phone to call my mother.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Mom," I said, my voice thick with tears.

"Dana? Dana, honey, what's wrong?"

"Rob, Mom, it's Rob..."

"What happened?"

"He's gone, Mom. A car accident...he was on his way home but he didn't make it..."

"Dana, oh, God, I'm so sorry, baby. I'm going to fly out there as soon as I can..."

"I just don't know what to do, Mom..."

"I know, Dana, I know..."

"I picked out my wedding dress today," I said, another sob escaping my lips.

"He's in a better place, Dana, he's in a better place."

I was going to tell her about Mulder, but didn't. I didn't want him brought into this; I didn't want to believe that he could've killed Rob.

"Are you going to be okay until I get there?" she asked.

"Yeah, mom, I'll be okay..."

We talked for a while, and she managed to calm me down for a bit. It was so hard to believe that he had been snatched from my life, just like that... A car accident. Seemingly random, but then again... Talking to Mom made me feel a bit better, but a mother could always do that for her child, no matter how old she was. Our conversation lingered for quite some time before I was ready to be alone again.

"Be strong, darling, I'm going to call the airline and try to get a ticket for the morning."

"Okay Mom, thanks."

"I love you, Dana. I'm sorry," she said.

"Thank you, Mom."

I was alone again. I sat there, crying, knowing I should call the police officer about the paperwork. I'd have to fill out paperwork concerning insurance...and then the lawyers would want to talk to me. We had made wills together a few months ago. Well, I'd always had a will, but I had to change mine. I didn't want Mulder getting most of my belongings, which was how it was before Rob. I knew I'd get the house and most of his funds. We had a joint checking account. He'd left various other things, possessions, to his brother, and his nephews and nieces. His poor family...his poor mother and father...outliving their child.

The doorbell rang.

I padded over to the door, still crying, trying to sort things through in my mind. I looked in the peephole, and almost collapsed seeing who was outside. No. Why did he have to be a part of this? Why the hell was he here? Why did he have to do this to me? How much more was I supposed to go through? I opened the door slightly, almost afraid. After all, I believed he may have killed my husband.

"Mulder, what are you doing here?" I asked, still crying a bit.

"I'm sorry, Scully, I'm so sorry. I didn't think they'd kill him, I didn't think--"

"How do YOU know about that? Nobody knows yet!"

"I got a call..."

"Mulder, I need you to tell me. Did you..." I paused, losing the words.

"No! You think I killed him?"

I couldn't say anything.

"Scully, I may hope and pray each day that you'd forgive me, but I'd never kill a man to try and make you. Honestly, Scully, would I be that stupid? Killing him wouldn't make you come with me."

"Then how did you know he was dead?" I asked, my voice heavy with suspicion.

"Will you let me in the house, Scully?" he asked.

Annoyed, I let him in. We walked into the living room.

"I got a call from Krycek. He said that they had your fiancé killed, and they set me up. They said that you'd think it was me. They did it so you wouldn't help me, so you'd think I was nuts... He said if you come back with me, things will get worse..."

"How do I know you're telling me the truth?" I asked.

"Scully, trust me," he said.

Trust. That was what it was always about.

"I don't know you anymore! My fiancé is dead! I LOVED him, Mulder! And he's dead!"

"And THEY did it, Scully. Krycek had his people follow him. Had someone stop and pretend to help, but really cut his brakes. And he made it seem like this person was me. It wasn't."

"Why should I believe this?"

"What time were you on the phone with him, when he was in his car?" he asked.

"Six thirty," I said.

"It couldn't have been me cutting his brakes, then. At six thirty I was on the phone with--" he suddenly stopped, looking sheepish.

"With whom, Mulder?" I questioned.

"Promise not to murder me," he said.

"With whom?"

"It's a one nine hundred number."

"Mulder! This is not the time to joke around!"

"I wish I was joking!" he responded.

"Why should I believe a word you say?"

"You can call her! Her name was Candy! We had a discussion before we actually started, you know..."

"So I'm going to trust you and some phone sex operator named CANDY? Look, I'm not sure how phone sex lines work, for the obvious reasons, but how would this woman know your real name? I'm sure you didn't have her gasping out 'Fox' now did you?"

"No, I gave her the name Marty. Come on, Scully, you know that's my under cover type name. I always use it when I call--" he stopped again.

"I really don't care to know about your phone sex calls, Mulder," I said.

"She can prove it because we talked first. I guess she noticed that I sounded upset, and she was probably bored with doing the same thing over and over, so she asked why. Besides, the longer I stay on the line, the more she gets paid. I talked with her about you."

"Mulder, this is utterly ridiculous. I'm not calling up your stupid phone sex line."

"I'll call."

"Mulder..."

"Scully, this is the only way you'll ever REALLY believe I didn't kill Rob. Now I can prove to you that there really IS a conspiracy out there trying to us, so I won't expose them," he said, taking out his cell phone.

I wanted to kill him at that moment. What the hell was I doing? Why was I letting him call up this phone sex line? How the fuck did I move from mourning my fiancé's death to THIS? This was madness...but... He was right. Without proof, I would always wonder if he had killed Rob. Maybe he had. As changed as Mulder was, though, I couldn't see him killing my future husband. If he wanted me back, (why couldn't he have wanted me all those years ago?) surely he wouldn't have thought that killing my lover would win me over. Mulder may have been desperate, and a little crazy, but he was more intelligent than that.

I watched as he punched his credit card number into the phone without taking out the card. Call often, Mulder? I thought to myself.

"Yeah, um, can I get Candy? It's important. I know. That's fine. Thanks," I heard him say. "Candy! Hi, um, it's Marty from earlier this night, you know, 6:30ish..." he paused as she spoke, and answered, "Yeah. Okay, listen, I have to prove to a woman, here, that I was on the phone with you at that time. Yeah, um, so you can just tell her everything we talked about. No, no, not that, before that. Okay, thanks. Yes, I'll pay," he said. "Here she is."

Suddenly, I was on the phone with some phone sex operator. "Um, hello?" I asked.

"Hey. Okay, so the deal on this guy is he was on the phone with me, and before we started to...you know...he sounded real sad. So I asked him if he was upset, and he said yeah, so I asked why. You know, we're paid by how long we're on the phone, hun, so I figured I'd cash in. I got a kid to feed, ya know. He said he saw this woman he ain't seen in a long time, and that he missed her. This was earlier today, like 6:30ish. Lemme check my call log, I'll give you the exact time," she paused a moment and answered, "six twenty-nine till six forty-eight. So then I asked the chick's name and he told me and I asked if maybe he wanted to pretend--"

"That's enough," I said politely.

"Okay, sure. You got your proof now?" she asked.

"Yeah. Thanks," I said, hanging up. I looked to him and said, "So you're really sure it's them, Mulder? That they did this?"

"Yeah. I picked up the phone earlier, and it was Krycek. He said that your fiancé would be killed in an accident, after a passerby helped him with his brakes...by cutting them. He said if I kept looking, he'd make sure I never saw you again. It was a warning to leave them alone...to sit back and watch colonization. This is why I needed your help. You're the only person with your kind of qualifications that can help me. You're the only person who I trust...still."

"I need...I need some time," I said.

"I know. I know you do. I'm sorry. I know that you loved him."

He held out his arms to hold me, and I let him. How could this have happened? The man I'm supposed to marry is gone, and suddenly Mulder is back in my life? I can't just run off with him... I mean, Rob, God, I loved him, too. Even if there were doubts, they had been tiny ones. I had loved Rob. I was going to marry him, and now he was gone. My whole life was torn apart, for the second time in three years.

"I just need some time with this, Mulder," I repeated, freeing myself from his embrace.

"It's okay. I have to go back to DC for a while. Skinner's expecting me. I should be back out here in about a month... We can talk about everything then," he told me.

"Yeah, we can. Um, how did you find my house?" I asked, suddenly realizing he'd never been here.

"You're listed," he smiled. "You can be listed when you're not a G-woman in the middle of a worldwide conspiracy. Although, you may want to take your name out of the phone book, now."

"Who knows how long I'll be here now," I sighed. "Um, let me give you my new cell phone number for when you come back, I don't know if I'll still be living here. It's kind of big for just me," I sighed.

I gave him my number, since I had this sinking sensation that I'd be off chasing shadows and conspiracies with him relatively soon.

"I'm sorry about Rob, Scully," he said, walking out the door.

"Yeah. Me too," I replied, and he left.

Suddenly, I was more alone than ever. My fiancé was dead, and the other man whom I once loved was mixed up in the conspiracy who killed him...and now both of them were gone. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't let them just get away with killing Rob... But in going with Mulder, I'd have to fall back into my old life. I'd have to accept the fact that I could fall for him again...

I cried myself to sleep that night, something I'd be doing all too often that month.

NOTES: A long chapter for you guys! Poor Rob... But lucky me for all of the reviews I've been getting. Keep them up, you guys are the best! Stay tuned for mourning and moving in the next few chapters!