Disclaimer: I do not own PMK. Enjoy my fic but don't sue...
Night-Owl: An update.
Case 005: Big Bad Wolf
"Kawaii!" Shinpachi fitted the finishing touches on Tetsu's costume. "You make a terrific little Red Riding Hood." Tetsu fumed and tried to kick Heisuke. Heisuke, who wore the wolf costume, dodged the boy's kick. "I could just eat you up," the man grinned wickedly. Big Bad Wolf.
Harada was distributing the complimentary stickers to the children. Having finished his job, he peered backstage. He grinned and hollered.
"Shinpachi! You're on!" Shinpachi acknowledged his cue and took the stage. "Good morning, kids. We're from the neighborhood Shinsengumi and we'll be teaching you about…" The talk started.
To illustrate the dangers of talking to strangers, they will act out the favorite fairytale Little Red Riding Hood. Tetsu took the stage in his red hood, golden wig and frilly dress. Swing the basket and prance a bit… Fine, don't expect me to sing Mary Poppins! Tetsu forced a smile to his face and announced in a high-pitched voice that he was going to visit Granny. Fifty kids were looking at him.
"Where are you going, little girl?" Bad Wolf Heisuke circled Tetsu Riding-Hood. "Going to Granny's," Tetsu squeaked and swung his basket against Heisuke's shin, hard. Payback time! Heisuke bit back a curse. Tetsu's move did not go unnoticed by their young audience. Several were sniggering.
Encouraged, Tetsu pranced about and stomped on Heisuke's foot. The Wolf let out a yelp of pain and clutched his foot. Tetsu! Harada and Nagakura watched from behind the curtains. While Heisuke was trying to remember his lines, Tetsu brought the basket down on his head.
That does it! The wolf chased little Red round the stage to pleas of laughter from the preschoolers. Nagakura slapped his brow. "Quick, drop the curtain!" Harada lowered the curtains. Shinpachi darted out front to restore some order while Heisuke took Tetsu over his lap and spanked him behind the curtain.
"You…mmff! Mmff!" Okita put a hand over his mouth as the Trio related their disastrous morning over their bento lunch. Okita gave a loud chortle. Tetsu shifted uncomfortably on his very sore rear. Heisuke was still glaring at him across the table. Bad puppy! Child-molesting pervert! They silently traded insults.
What does Heisuke have with spanking? Tetsu sneaked a kick at Toudou under the table. He missed and got Harada instead. Harada roared and lifted him out of his seat. "Play nice!" Okita chided. He was tired. On foot patrol with Saitou, he encountered some rabid members of his fan club. Then Saitou vanished, leaving him to their mercy.
It was only by the skin of his teeth that he had managed to turn down gifts of their lace panties and invites to a love-motel. High school girls nowadays are scary… Only the Trio will want to do a talk for them.
"Tetsu, take these files to Kondo's office," Yamanami strolled into the canteen with a stack of files. Tetsu obeyed. After Tetsu was safely out, Yamanami turned to Okita. "Souji, something came for you up front…" The man pushed his glasses uncomfortably up. Okita dropped his bento and ran. Sure enough, it was there on the front desk. A pile of lacy underwear. So his rabid fangirls got him after all…
He dumped the lot into the nearest bin before anyone else came in. The bland voice almost gave him a heart attack. "Souji? It's time for our patrol…" Saitou reminded. Okita nodded. He hadn't noticed Saitou standing by the cooler. "You opened my package?"
"No, they opened it," Saitou pointed at Takagi Tokio and Okita Mitsui of the bomb squad. The women happen to be Okita's cousin and sister respectively. The pair were giggling as they waved to Okita from the snack dispenser.
On finding the suspicious package, Kondo had informed the bomb squad and they sent the pair to check it out. Okita groaned. You have some bad karma, my friend… Saitou smiled.
"How much is that?" Two voices sounded in unison. Hotaru smiled her service-smile as Tetsu and Suzu glared at each other. Tetsu had seen the acrylic pen-holder in the gift-store window while delivering a letter for San-nan and thought it will be the perfect sorry-for-wrecking-the-car gift for Okita-san. Unfortunately, Suzu had set his sights on the same pen-holder as a gift for Master Yoshida.
"I saw it first!" Suzu tugged at it. "It's mine!" Tetsu gripped on tight as they struggled. He kicked Suzu, who kneed him in the gut. Hotaru watched in worry as the scuffle intensified. Then the pen-holder flew into the air and crashed into the Wedgewood tea-set. Yes, the one worth a fortune.
Uh-oh… Both boys turned to face a livid Hotaru. The part-time shop assistant was furious. Once broken, considered sold. But the two boys don't look as if they have enough to pay… "Sorry! I apologize on the behalf of my foolish brothers!!" Before they can say anything, both boys found their faces being pushed into the store carpet.
Tatsu-nii! Tetsu recognized his brother's voice. He could hear Suzu's muffled protests from Tatsu's other side. "I'm a bad big brother. Forgive them, they're only kids…" I'm not a kid! Tetsu tried to raise his head but Tatsu only slammed it into the carpet. "Ever since our parents died, I'm too busy working to discipline them… It's all my fault…"
Tatsu was going to pick up snacks for the HQ pantry when he saw his kid brother in trouble.
Hotaru's at a loss. They never trained her to deal with this. Working at the gift-store was an after school job. The older man was obviously mentally unsound… what should a girl do? Then she caught a glimpse of someone passing by… Problem solved!
"Okita-sama!!! Help!!! There's a pervert in there!" Hotaru shrieked and ran out of the shop. She clung onto a surprised Okita's shirt front. Her heart soared and she smiled secretly as Okita instinctively comforted her. What the? Okita looked into the store cautiously and saw only the Ichimura brothers and the Kitamura boy.
Saitou watched the little drama unfold with a shrug. At least his Tokio will not stoop to such childish means… He had asked her to watch a concert with him later…
Author's notes:
Love having the Trio working with children. (Ref PMK fic School Safety Talk). Not one of Okita's better days either. The rabid fangirls idea is drawn from pop idols having to fend off crazed fans. AU Hotaru's not so ditzy, in fact, she's a bit sly. Okita-sama should watch out.
Ri-chan: Thanks for the compliment, this is my first attempt writiing the guys into a modern setting. I'm kinda surprised my Muse is cooperating. Normally, she prefers to do period. Also kinda surprised the HijOki thing worked out.More fluff later.