12/13/04 I'm tired and my eyes are freaking out on me. I finally finished my 2 first chapters that I had typed previously, but a certain PC lost it! I said that I would write a little more on Apologies and here it is. I didn't? Well, if you read "The ghost woman and the hunter" you might have been confused or wonder what happened with Cloud and Tifa in the car? So maybe this will fill in some gaps. I had this written out and I'm adding more as I go along. I've got nearly 50 of them already. WHOO!

Disclaimer: Evil squeakers: Aeris, Cloud Tifa, and the other characters are property of their respective owners. Namely SquareSoft/SquareEnix. So don't sue us.

Jing: What the heck are you talking about? If anyone gets sued it's gonna be me! You guys will get off lucky. All the more reason for you to get it good on the disclaimer! IF YOU DON'T YOU SHALL ALL BE MAIMED!!!

Squeakers: Eeep!!

Jing: On with the show!!

Crucify my love

If my love is blind

Crucify my love

If it sets me free

Never know, never trust

That love should see a color

Crucify my love

If it should be that way

Swing the heartache

Feel it inside out

When the wind cries

I'll say my goodbye

Tried to learn

Tried to find

To reach out for eternity

Where's the answer

Is this forever?

Like a river flowing to the sea

You'll be miles away and I will know

I know I can deal with the pain

No reason to cry

Crucify my love

If my love is blind

Crucify my love

If it sets me free

Never know, never trust

That love should see a color

Crucify my love

If it should be that way

Till the loneliness shadows the sky

I'll be sailing down and I will know

I know I can clear clouds away

Oh! Is it a crime to love?

"Crucify My Love" by X Japan

(Long live X Japan!!!)

Apologies Unfinished

The landscape flashed by as Tifa stared through the rain drenched window. All she wanted to do right now was disappear. She felt so little and insignificant. That and the fact that she knew now that she would never have Cloud's heart.

Even after all these years, he still hadn't let go of her. She was killed 2years ago in an attempt to save the planet from Sephiroth. He still held on to her and his guilt like a life line. It just didn't make sense. He longs for someone he can never have. Cloud…

She had known him since childhood. She had never felt that he was ever more than just a friend but over time – a rather short amount of time- she began to feel different. That's right. It was right about the time that Aeris came. She thought that she had been rather obvious about her feeling for him. Either he was a complete numbskull or he just didn't have any interest. She immediately began to feel those old jealous and resentful feelings. They had known each other nearly all their lives and then he met Aeris; he knew her for maybe a few months? She hated to see that look he gave her. She made him blush like she had never seen anyone blush. He hardly ever talked to her when she was around -. She reprimanded herself, and immediately became disgusted with her nasty thoughts. Aeris was a special friend. They all suffered a loss. She should be more sympathetic to Cloud. He suffered more than any of them. He promised to protect her and insured her safety and he failed. Now he blamed himself. But she just couldn't do it. He had moped about for too long. She was dead now and he needed to face that! She would never come back!

It was too much for her to control. All of her pent up anger and jealousy from the years past began to overwhelm her being. She couldn't let this go on any longer. It stopped right here!

"STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!"

Cloud slammed on the brakes. Tifa opened the door and stomped into a nearby city park. Poor Cloud was more confused than ever. He never understood her when she had her mood swings. He could only stare, dumbfounded. He snapped out of it. He quickly found a place to park the car and ran after her.

"What the hell is your problem?" He yelled after her.

"YOU!!!" The anger evident in her eyes.

His jaw hung open and his eyes grew wide. "WHAT!? What the hell did I do?!"

"AERIS!! YOU JUST CAN'T LET ANY OF IT GO, CAN YOU, CLOUD!?"

He blinked. "What!? Where in the world did that come from? I didn't even say anything!"

"You don't have to!! I can see it! It's all over. In your eyes. You voice. I can tell when you're thinking about her. And it seems to be constantly!!!" She paused after her voice started to crack and Cloud's face fell. She started again, a bit more calmly this time. "I know you feel guilty about her death. But it's not going to do you any good to dwell on it more than you already have! Do you honestly believe that's the way that she would want you to live?" She looked at him, anxiously awaiting an answer.

"I…I can't believe you're saying this right now!" a bit angry.

"I should have said it a long time ago! I can't believe I let it go on as long as it has! But I won't let it go anymore… I know you loved her…you still do… BUT SHE'S GONE AND YOU'RE STILL HERE!! … I…I'm still here." Tears she had been trying to hold back wouldn't e contained anymore started to fall and she softly sobbed as she sat down on the edge of a nearby fountain. Cloud forgot his anger and was now completely speechless. "You never looked at me after her. You barely even knew her; I've known you since I can remember. I… I always got so jealous when you were around her. Even when you just mentioned her name. I just… wish that you would look at me as you did her."

Cloud slowly sat down next to her and stared at the ground. "I'm sorry. I never knew."

"It's okay," she sniffed, "I never said anything. I wanted to give you your space."

He looked at her and gave her a soft smile. He slung his arm over her shoulders, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder. Neither said much after that. They just watched the sun set in silence.

Oh! I'm looking at you

Can't control myself

Nothing but pain for me.

Wipe the tears from your eyes

Just leave and forget me

No need to be hurt anymore.

Go away from me now

I don't know what is love.

No need to be hurt anymore

You said 'I miss you so much

Every night thinking of you

And living in loneliness.'

But when you feel sadness

Never can I stay with you

I'm not the one you need

Close your eyes and forget me

There's nothing more I can do anymore

I lost my way

I've been walking in the night of tears

There I found someone was holding you

As the night was falling down

With my love also vanished my vision of you

My heart is cold now

You said 'I need you always

Everyday thinking of you and

Living in loneliness'

Can't find my way.

"Unfinished" by X Japan sniff sniff