The only thing that's been changed is an update about the upcoming chapters
and some notes to reviewers. Thanks!!
Chapter 7: Occlumency Revisited
In Harry's opinion, seven o'clock came far too fast the next evening. The past two days had been spent discussing Snape's apology, Ron and Harry still looking for other possible interpretations of his words. Hermione just rolled her eyes at the two of them, and buried her nose in various books.
As the dishes were cleared from dinner, and everyone said their goodnights to Harry, his spirits sank lower. Everyone had plans to spend the evening in the kitchen, leaving Harry and Snape uninterrupted in the library. Slowly he trudged up to the library.
Opening the door, he saw Snape sitting in on of the worn armchairs in front of the fire, waiting for him. Harry gave a quick glance to the clock. He wasn't late, he noticed, which was some small comfort, knowing Snape would've used that as yet something else to pick on him for.
Harry hadn't been alone with Snape since the awful day he'd been caught looking into Snape's thoughts. Well, Harry thought, technically he'd been alone with Snape when he'd left the Dursley's, but that had just been so bizarre as to not count. This lesson was the first time he'd been alone with Snape for an extended amount of time, Harry amended. The clarification didn't make him feel any better.
"Potter." Snape greeted him tersely. Harry already felt tense. Last night, he'd done some of Hermione's suggestions. He'd sat, with his legs crossed, on his bed, closed his eyes, and slowly saw all his thoughts being put into a small box. After about five minutes, he'd felt exhausted at the concentration required and had opened his eyes, only to find Ron shaking with silent laughter across from him. Harry had grabbed his pillow and chucked it across the room, hitting Ron squarely in the chest.
He'd tried it again as he was falling asleep, but he wasn't sure it had done any good. Now, standing in front of a sneering Snape, he knew he was in trouble.
Snape stood brusquely and faced Harry. He gulped as he took out his wand. But rather than hear the regular bark of "Legimens!" Snape pointed his wand to the desk in the far corner, "Accio book!"
Harry saw the old potions text he had given Snape sail neatly into the man's hands. Harry was puzzled. What did this mean?
"Potter." Snape addressed him again, "Why did you give me this book?"
"Like I said, Professor. It's just been sitting on these shelves for years, and it's yours, so, you should have it." Harry was thoroughly puzzled now.
"That makes no sense, Potter. You were nice. To me. You and I are not nice to each other." Snape said.
"That's only because from the moment I set foot in Hogwarts you've had it in for me." Harry replied, feeling his anger rise. If Snape thought he was going to blame Harry for the two of them not getting along, Harry would put all his might into proving him wrong.
"Really, Potter?" Snape drawled. "I seem to recall you being a rule breaker from the beginning. You did not answer any of the questions I put forth to you during your first potions lesson. The questions I asked were infantile. Any 11 year-old wizard should have known them."
"Yes, but I wasn't just any 11-year old wizard, was I, Snape?" Harry could feel the heat on his face. He knew he would pay for this insolence, but he didn't particularly care at the moment. "No. As you said, I was the new celebrity."
"Yes, you were. And where has it gotten you, Potter? Fame, fortune and the rest? No, instead it finds you alone, your godfather dead. Is it nice, Potter?"
Harry felt something snap inside him. In an instant, he had his wand out, poised at Snape's chest. The anger had bubbled up inside him. He had a curse on his lips when Snape's voice rang out, "Legimens!"
Instantly Harry was thrust back in his own memories. The first day of potions, with Snape billowing through the door came first came flooding back. Almost as instantly, Harry was able to push back the memory.
He felt a shift, and noticed the scene had changed. It was still the dungeons, but Snape was nowhere to be found. Well, that wasn't entirely true, as Harry heard the professor standing at the front of the classroom call out, "Severus, would you mind holding back for a moment?"
Before the memory could continue, though, Harry became aware of the surroundings of the library again. Snape was standing directly in front of him. Both of them were panting lightly. Snape nodded tersely.
"Well done, Potter. It seems the Headmaster was right. Working from anger does seem to clear your mind." He strode closer to Harry. "What meditations did Miss Granger recommend for you?"
Harry looked at him, bewildered. That whole thing had simply been to get him angry?
"Do shut your mouth, Potter, this is not the window of a fishmonger's." Harry clamped his mouth closed. Finally, he found his voice.
"Sir," he began slowly, "are you saying you provoked me on purpose? You wanted me angry? Did you, did you mean what you said?" he finished, his voice small.
Snape sighed irritably. "Potter, do think beyond your bruised ego for a moment. In the past, it has become clear that you operate best under pressure, and, as of late, anger. The Headmaster suggested that, in this second attempt, I use that anger to keep you focused single-mindedly on something, so that an attack of Legimens would not be as effective. It seems he was right. I shall ask again. In what form of meditation did Miss Granger instruct you?"
Harry was still unsure of how to react to this, but answered Snape, "Some kind of breathing and visualization technique. She found it in a book from the library. It had me sit with my legs crossed, focusing on placing all my thoughts in a small box in the corner of my bedroom. It worked pretty well last night, especially with the breathing."
"Ah, the Pandora approach. Yes, I have used it. It seems, in your case, to be quite beneficial. Now, Potter, let us try that again." Snape readied himself, raising his wand once more.
Harry cut him off, "Did you mean what you said about me being a celebrity? About me being all alone?"
Snape sighed again loudly, and rubbed his left hand against his face. "Potter, I feel I have already explained myself on this matter. I needed you angry. I got you angry. It worked. Now, may we please proceed?"
"No." Harry answered stubbornly.
"No?" Snape questioned menacingly.
"No." Harry affirmed. "I want to know some things. I won't continue with Occlumency until you answer my questions." He knew he was taking a giant risk, but in the past few days, there had just been two many questions concerning Snape's behavior not to ask. Besides, the worse that would happen was that Snape would see more of his memories. Harry knew he'd already seen so many there couldn't be many more to cause further embarrassment.
"Fine." Snape spit. "Ask away. Though I make no guarantee you will receive any answer. I am not in the fashion of playing adolescent games of truth or dare."
Harry smiled at the image of Snape sitting around in a circle of giggling boys and girls wearing a girl's bra for a hat, or admitting to the first girl he'd kissed. Noticing the sneer on Snape's face grow larger, he hastened to ask the first burning question.
"How long have you known my aunt?"
Snape merely raised an eyebrow. "I am unable to answer at this time, Potter. Next."
"Why did you make me tea when we arrived at headquarters?"
"Because, Potter, we are English. As such, we have somehow adopted the notion that all things that ail you may be cured over a nice cup of tea. You seemed distraught."
"When have you ever cared about how I seemed?" Harry fired.
"Only recently, I assure you." Snape would say no more, so Harry continued.
"Why did you thank me for returning you book?" Harry asked, unfazed by the partial answer of his question.
Snape rolled his tongue around his lips, his mouth twitching. "Because, Potter, I am unaccustomed to kindness, especially from you. Especially in the form of a book your dearly departed godfather pinched off me years ago."
That comment, fortunately, led the way to Harry's next question, "Why did you say I was alone earlier? Is it because Sirius is gone?"
"Dead, Potter, is the word I believe you are refusing to say." Snape drawled. "And yes, Black is the only family you have ever been happy to admit to. I am assuming his death has hit you hard. With him 'gone', you have no one else."
Snape's words hit Harry like a blow to the stomach. What came out of his mouth next happened before he could stop the words, "So are you, you arrogant bastard!" Harry froze, waiting for swift punishment.
Nothing happened. A few seconds ticked by on the mantle clock, but Snape said nothing. Finally, he shook his head. "Yes, Potter. I am alone as you are. Does that make you feel better? I have no wife waiting at home for me with dinner on the table, no family showering me with presents for the Christmas holidays, no brothers or sisters bringing their sniveling brats to visit over the summer. I am quite alone. Satisfied?"
No, Harry thought to himself, watching Snape gather up his book from the side table. He paused in the door. "Continue on with the relaxation techniques, they seem to do you quite well. I will send word by the werewolf for our next lesson. Good night, Potter."
The door to the library clicked quietly, leaving Harry alone on the room. That hadn't gone how he wanted it to. He felt sorry for Snape; that hadn't been the point of the questions. Exhaling crossly, he pocketed his wand in the seat of his jeans and left to find Ron and Hermione.
He found them still in the kitchen. "Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, leaping up from the table where Bill, Ron, Remus and Mr. Weasley were playing Exploding Snap. Mrs. Weasley and Professor Calabrone were in the pantry, putting the finished touches on apple and rhubarb crisps.
He smiled as everyone distractedly murmured their hellos. Hermione pulled him over to the end of the table.
"Harry, what are doing down here already? It's only been an hour. Did something go wrong?" she looked at him sternly, "Did you forget to practice clearing you mind?"
"No, no." he assured her, "I did that, and I think Snape actually complimented me for it. I think I hurt his feelings?"
"What?" Hermione replied. Harry hastily gave her a recount of the query and answer portion of his Occlumency lesson. Hermione's face looked as puzzled as Harry felt.
"But why would he get so upset about that? I mean, it's not very pleasant, but it's not like he's the only one without any family. Besides, he has everyone at Hogwarts and in the Order." Hermione said.
"Does he, Miss Granger?" came the voice of Professor Calabrone.
Harry and Hermione looked down guiltily.
"I do not mean to chastise either of you. I just wish you to understand your professor a little better." She took the empty seat next to Harry.
"I have known Professor Snape since we were very young children. In fact, we were neighbors growing up. My family moved from Italy when I was six. We moved just down the lane from the Snapes. All our free time was spent wandering the area, the three of us, Severus, Orman and myself."
Noticing the confused look on Hermione's face, Harry explained, "Orman was Snape's younger brother."
Harry answer only seemed to further confuse her. "How do you know the name of Professor Snape's young brother?"
Calabrone smiled, "Mister Potter asked me about my engagement to Altimus and Lucia Snape's youngest son. That would have been Orman, not Severus."
"Oh." Hermione replied, her eyes still warily between Calabrone and Harry. Harry shrugged and motioned for Calabrone to continue.
"I don't know how much is my place to tell, but the three of us were quite inseparable, until Severus received his Hogwarts letter. Once he left for school, Orman and I hardly ever say him again. He was favored by the older Slytherins..."
"Malfoy," Hermione broke in. Calabrone nodded.
"He became enthralled by life at Malfoy Manor, and Orman and I, being three years younger, seemed babies to him. We were left to our own devices. I was sent to Hogwarts when I turned eleven, but Orman, on the advice of my parents, was sent to Collegia Stregeria in Umbria, just outside Rome."
"Collegia Stregheria?" Hermione repeated.
"Yes. It is the Italian's version of Hogwarts." Calabrone replied, a wide smile on her face, "Both my mother and father went to school there. "It is a fine school, very based in the old ways. Streghe is the name given to the ancient culture of Italian Witchcraft. The focus there is far more on earth magic than at other schools in Europe."
Harry had been listening, somewhat interested. Hermione, of course, looked enthralled. "How do they teach earth magic?"
Calabrone's smiled widened, "I should say they focus more on theory than actual practice, at least until the fifth year. Much attention is given to the folletti, linchetti, and le fate." Calabrone's accent came through as she pronounced the Italian words.
"What are those?" he found himself asking.
"Linchetti are the elven spirits. Generally, they are considered night elves that can cause nightmares, especially in younger children. The Folletti are the wind spirits. And le fate are the spirits of wood and waters, they are excellent shape shifters. They also closely resemble pixies, or fairies, here in England. In the story of Pinocchio, the Blue Fairy is called 'La Fata Azul'."
Harry nodded. Hermione looked enraptured. "Could you tell us more?" she breathed softly.
"Yes," Calabrone said, laughing, "but I don't want to put young Harry to sleep. Perhaps you and I could meet and discuss it?" Hermione fervently nodded.
"I believe, young Harry, that you wished to understand why Professor Snape has been acting rather oddly lately, correct?" After nodding his answer, she continued, "It is quite simple. Severus has been acting oddly, especially to you, because he blames himself for Sirius Black's death."
A/N:
Just so anyone is curious, I will be updating this by April 17th. And then I plan on keeping a regular update of two weeks. Thanks for reading!!!
Lilypurewhite: thanks for the reviews on both stories, they are greatly appreciated!
Dark magenta: you were my first review every. THANKS!
Jekl: even without the review I'll update. I'm using this as a test run for an original novel I'm doing research for right now..this gets me in the habit of writing regularly and keeping the story flowing and making sense.
Chapter 7: Occlumency Revisited
In Harry's opinion, seven o'clock came far too fast the next evening. The past two days had been spent discussing Snape's apology, Ron and Harry still looking for other possible interpretations of his words. Hermione just rolled her eyes at the two of them, and buried her nose in various books.
As the dishes were cleared from dinner, and everyone said their goodnights to Harry, his spirits sank lower. Everyone had plans to spend the evening in the kitchen, leaving Harry and Snape uninterrupted in the library. Slowly he trudged up to the library.
Opening the door, he saw Snape sitting in on of the worn armchairs in front of the fire, waiting for him. Harry gave a quick glance to the clock. He wasn't late, he noticed, which was some small comfort, knowing Snape would've used that as yet something else to pick on him for.
Harry hadn't been alone with Snape since the awful day he'd been caught looking into Snape's thoughts. Well, Harry thought, technically he'd been alone with Snape when he'd left the Dursley's, but that had just been so bizarre as to not count. This lesson was the first time he'd been alone with Snape for an extended amount of time, Harry amended. The clarification didn't make him feel any better.
"Potter." Snape greeted him tersely. Harry already felt tense. Last night, he'd done some of Hermione's suggestions. He'd sat, with his legs crossed, on his bed, closed his eyes, and slowly saw all his thoughts being put into a small box. After about five minutes, he'd felt exhausted at the concentration required and had opened his eyes, only to find Ron shaking with silent laughter across from him. Harry had grabbed his pillow and chucked it across the room, hitting Ron squarely in the chest.
He'd tried it again as he was falling asleep, but he wasn't sure it had done any good. Now, standing in front of a sneering Snape, he knew he was in trouble.
Snape stood brusquely and faced Harry. He gulped as he took out his wand. But rather than hear the regular bark of "Legimens!" Snape pointed his wand to the desk in the far corner, "Accio book!"
Harry saw the old potions text he had given Snape sail neatly into the man's hands. Harry was puzzled. What did this mean?
"Potter." Snape addressed him again, "Why did you give me this book?"
"Like I said, Professor. It's just been sitting on these shelves for years, and it's yours, so, you should have it." Harry was thoroughly puzzled now.
"That makes no sense, Potter. You were nice. To me. You and I are not nice to each other." Snape said.
"That's only because from the moment I set foot in Hogwarts you've had it in for me." Harry replied, feeling his anger rise. If Snape thought he was going to blame Harry for the two of them not getting along, Harry would put all his might into proving him wrong.
"Really, Potter?" Snape drawled. "I seem to recall you being a rule breaker from the beginning. You did not answer any of the questions I put forth to you during your first potions lesson. The questions I asked were infantile. Any 11 year-old wizard should have known them."
"Yes, but I wasn't just any 11-year old wizard, was I, Snape?" Harry could feel the heat on his face. He knew he would pay for this insolence, but he didn't particularly care at the moment. "No. As you said, I was the new celebrity."
"Yes, you were. And where has it gotten you, Potter? Fame, fortune and the rest? No, instead it finds you alone, your godfather dead. Is it nice, Potter?"
Harry felt something snap inside him. In an instant, he had his wand out, poised at Snape's chest. The anger had bubbled up inside him. He had a curse on his lips when Snape's voice rang out, "Legimens!"
Instantly Harry was thrust back in his own memories. The first day of potions, with Snape billowing through the door came first came flooding back. Almost as instantly, Harry was able to push back the memory.
He felt a shift, and noticed the scene had changed. It was still the dungeons, but Snape was nowhere to be found. Well, that wasn't entirely true, as Harry heard the professor standing at the front of the classroom call out, "Severus, would you mind holding back for a moment?"
Before the memory could continue, though, Harry became aware of the surroundings of the library again. Snape was standing directly in front of him. Both of them were panting lightly. Snape nodded tersely.
"Well done, Potter. It seems the Headmaster was right. Working from anger does seem to clear your mind." He strode closer to Harry. "What meditations did Miss Granger recommend for you?"
Harry looked at him, bewildered. That whole thing had simply been to get him angry?
"Do shut your mouth, Potter, this is not the window of a fishmonger's." Harry clamped his mouth closed. Finally, he found his voice.
"Sir," he began slowly, "are you saying you provoked me on purpose? You wanted me angry? Did you, did you mean what you said?" he finished, his voice small.
Snape sighed irritably. "Potter, do think beyond your bruised ego for a moment. In the past, it has become clear that you operate best under pressure, and, as of late, anger. The Headmaster suggested that, in this second attempt, I use that anger to keep you focused single-mindedly on something, so that an attack of Legimens would not be as effective. It seems he was right. I shall ask again. In what form of meditation did Miss Granger instruct you?"
Harry was still unsure of how to react to this, but answered Snape, "Some kind of breathing and visualization technique. She found it in a book from the library. It had me sit with my legs crossed, focusing on placing all my thoughts in a small box in the corner of my bedroom. It worked pretty well last night, especially with the breathing."
"Ah, the Pandora approach. Yes, I have used it. It seems, in your case, to be quite beneficial. Now, Potter, let us try that again." Snape readied himself, raising his wand once more.
Harry cut him off, "Did you mean what you said about me being a celebrity? About me being all alone?"
Snape sighed again loudly, and rubbed his left hand against his face. "Potter, I feel I have already explained myself on this matter. I needed you angry. I got you angry. It worked. Now, may we please proceed?"
"No." Harry answered stubbornly.
"No?" Snape questioned menacingly.
"No." Harry affirmed. "I want to know some things. I won't continue with Occlumency until you answer my questions." He knew he was taking a giant risk, but in the past few days, there had just been two many questions concerning Snape's behavior not to ask. Besides, the worse that would happen was that Snape would see more of his memories. Harry knew he'd already seen so many there couldn't be many more to cause further embarrassment.
"Fine." Snape spit. "Ask away. Though I make no guarantee you will receive any answer. I am not in the fashion of playing adolescent games of truth or dare."
Harry smiled at the image of Snape sitting around in a circle of giggling boys and girls wearing a girl's bra for a hat, or admitting to the first girl he'd kissed. Noticing the sneer on Snape's face grow larger, he hastened to ask the first burning question.
"How long have you known my aunt?"
Snape merely raised an eyebrow. "I am unable to answer at this time, Potter. Next."
"Why did you make me tea when we arrived at headquarters?"
"Because, Potter, we are English. As such, we have somehow adopted the notion that all things that ail you may be cured over a nice cup of tea. You seemed distraught."
"When have you ever cared about how I seemed?" Harry fired.
"Only recently, I assure you." Snape would say no more, so Harry continued.
"Why did you thank me for returning you book?" Harry asked, unfazed by the partial answer of his question.
Snape rolled his tongue around his lips, his mouth twitching. "Because, Potter, I am unaccustomed to kindness, especially from you. Especially in the form of a book your dearly departed godfather pinched off me years ago."
That comment, fortunately, led the way to Harry's next question, "Why did you say I was alone earlier? Is it because Sirius is gone?"
"Dead, Potter, is the word I believe you are refusing to say." Snape drawled. "And yes, Black is the only family you have ever been happy to admit to. I am assuming his death has hit you hard. With him 'gone', you have no one else."
Snape's words hit Harry like a blow to the stomach. What came out of his mouth next happened before he could stop the words, "So are you, you arrogant bastard!" Harry froze, waiting for swift punishment.
Nothing happened. A few seconds ticked by on the mantle clock, but Snape said nothing. Finally, he shook his head. "Yes, Potter. I am alone as you are. Does that make you feel better? I have no wife waiting at home for me with dinner on the table, no family showering me with presents for the Christmas holidays, no brothers or sisters bringing their sniveling brats to visit over the summer. I am quite alone. Satisfied?"
No, Harry thought to himself, watching Snape gather up his book from the side table. He paused in the door. "Continue on with the relaxation techniques, they seem to do you quite well. I will send word by the werewolf for our next lesson. Good night, Potter."
The door to the library clicked quietly, leaving Harry alone on the room. That hadn't gone how he wanted it to. He felt sorry for Snape; that hadn't been the point of the questions. Exhaling crossly, he pocketed his wand in the seat of his jeans and left to find Ron and Hermione.
He found them still in the kitchen. "Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, leaping up from the table where Bill, Ron, Remus and Mr. Weasley were playing Exploding Snap. Mrs. Weasley and Professor Calabrone were in the pantry, putting the finished touches on apple and rhubarb crisps.
He smiled as everyone distractedly murmured their hellos. Hermione pulled him over to the end of the table.
"Harry, what are doing down here already? It's only been an hour. Did something go wrong?" she looked at him sternly, "Did you forget to practice clearing you mind?"
"No, no." he assured her, "I did that, and I think Snape actually complimented me for it. I think I hurt his feelings?"
"What?" Hermione replied. Harry hastily gave her a recount of the query and answer portion of his Occlumency lesson. Hermione's face looked as puzzled as Harry felt.
"But why would he get so upset about that? I mean, it's not very pleasant, but it's not like he's the only one without any family. Besides, he has everyone at Hogwarts and in the Order." Hermione said.
"Does he, Miss Granger?" came the voice of Professor Calabrone.
Harry and Hermione looked down guiltily.
"I do not mean to chastise either of you. I just wish you to understand your professor a little better." She took the empty seat next to Harry.
"I have known Professor Snape since we were very young children. In fact, we were neighbors growing up. My family moved from Italy when I was six. We moved just down the lane from the Snapes. All our free time was spent wandering the area, the three of us, Severus, Orman and myself."
Noticing the confused look on Hermione's face, Harry explained, "Orman was Snape's younger brother."
Harry answer only seemed to further confuse her. "How do you know the name of Professor Snape's young brother?"
Calabrone smiled, "Mister Potter asked me about my engagement to Altimus and Lucia Snape's youngest son. That would have been Orman, not Severus."
"Oh." Hermione replied, her eyes still warily between Calabrone and Harry. Harry shrugged and motioned for Calabrone to continue.
"I don't know how much is my place to tell, but the three of us were quite inseparable, until Severus received his Hogwarts letter. Once he left for school, Orman and I hardly ever say him again. He was favored by the older Slytherins..."
"Malfoy," Hermione broke in. Calabrone nodded.
"He became enthralled by life at Malfoy Manor, and Orman and I, being three years younger, seemed babies to him. We were left to our own devices. I was sent to Hogwarts when I turned eleven, but Orman, on the advice of my parents, was sent to Collegia Stregeria in Umbria, just outside Rome."
"Collegia Stregheria?" Hermione repeated.
"Yes. It is the Italian's version of Hogwarts." Calabrone replied, a wide smile on her face, "Both my mother and father went to school there. "It is a fine school, very based in the old ways. Streghe is the name given to the ancient culture of Italian Witchcraft. The focus there is far more on earth magic than at other schools in Europe."
Harry had been listening, somewhat interested. Hermione, of course, looked enthralled. "How do they teach earth magic?"
Calabrone's smiled widened, "I should say they focus more on theory than actual practice, at least until the fifth year. Much attention is given to the folletti, linchetti, and le fate." Calabrone's accent came through as she pronounced the Italian words.
"What are those?" he found himself asking.
"Linchetti are the elven spirits. Generally, they are considered night elves that can cause nightmares, especially in younger children. The Folletti are the wind spirits. And le fate are the spirits of wood and waters, they are excellent shape shifters. They also closely resemble pixies, or fairies, here in England. In the story of Pinocchio, the Blue Fairy is called 'La Fata Azul'."
Harry nodded. Hermione looked enraptured. "Could you tell us more?" she breathed softly.
"Yes," Calabrone said, laughing, "but I don't want to put young Harry to sleep. Perhaps you and I could meet and discuss it?" Hermione fervently nodded.
"I believe, young Harry, that you wished to understand why Professor Snape has been acting rather oddly lately, correct?" After nodding his answer, she continued, "It is quite simple. Severus has been acting oddly, especially to you, because he blames himself for Sirius Black's death."
A/N:
Just so anyone is curious, I will be updating this by April 17th. And then I plan on keeping a regular update of two weeks. Thanks for reading!!!
Lilypurewhite: thanks for the reviews on both stories, they are greatly appreciated!
Dark magenta: you were my first review every. THANKS!
Jekl: even without the review I'll update. I'm using this as a test run for an original novel I'm doing research for right now..this gets me in the habit of writing regularly and keeping the story flowing and making sense.