Chapter 19: Bitter Fruits

Harry froze. He heard rustling from their left. Hagrid began approaching the noise, but Harry held back, not at all anxious to approach the giant.

Grawp appeared from behind two trees. He had grown a little, Harry noted.

"Hello, Hagger." He said, stomping over to a spot between Hagrid and Harry. Noticing Harry, his face lit up. "Harry!" he said, clapping his hands together.

The noise hurt Harry's eardrums and startled several birds out of the trees. The clap resounded through the forest.

"Now, Grawpy, remember what I said about getting' excited? You jus' can' do it. The centaurs, remember the centaurs? They don' like you bein' here, right?" Hagrid said, waving his hands and talking softly to Grawp.

Grawp tore his gaze from Harry to look at his half-brother. "Centaurs angry wif Grawp."

Hagrid nodded. Harry stared, amazed. "Hagrid!" he exclaimed. "You've taught him English."

Hagrid looked at Harry, beaming. "Yep. I've been comin' down 'ere ev'ry day, teaching him a little bit. Important words, you know. That way, if somethin' happens and I can't get to him, someone else can talk to him."

Harry took a step closer to Grawp. "'Course, I've also been teaching him the good guys and the bad guys. Grawp, show Harry how to introduce yourself."

Grawp pulled himself up and squared off his shoulders. "Hello. I am Grawp. Who are you?"

Harry smiled. "I'm Harry. Pleasure to meet you Grawp." He gave a low bow.

Grawp clapped again and gave what Harry supposed was a giggle, though it sounded more like a gurgle from a stopped up toilet.

Hagrid waved his hands again. "Grawpy, no!" Grawp slapped both his hands to his mouth.

"Sawee." He said, trying to whisper. Harry smirked.

"He's gotten much better, Hagrid." Harry said truthfully. Hagrid smiled at him.

"I really didn't have anything planned for your detention." Said Hagrid, turning his attention from his half-brother. Professor Snape asked me to make you do something awful. He mentioned spreading manure. Do you wanna do that, Harry?"

"Not really."

"I didn' think so." Hagrid said, smiling. "Come on. All righ', Grawpy. I've gotta take Harry back, 'ere, okay? Stay safe, ok?" Hagrid patted him on the back. He ushered Harry out of the clearing.

"Hagrid." Began Harry. "If the centaurs know he's here, and they don't like him, then how come he's still here?"

Hagrid looked sideways at him. "Well, I reckon Dumbledore had a word with 'em."

"With the centaurs?"

"Yep." Hagrid replied. "I always figured that when Dumbledore went in to rescue Professor Umbridge he talked to the centaurs and, while figuring everything else out, he probably said somethin' about Grawp."

"You mean Dumbledore knows about Grawp?" Harry said incredulously. He knew Dumbledore did things most people thought were crazy, but this seemed downright dangerous, allowing a giant free in the forest.

"Yep. He came and met Grawp over the summer. Great man. Grawpy knew to behave, too, 'cause I'd been tellin' him all along who Dumbledore was. Grawp jus' sat there and smiled politely the whole time Dumbledore welcomed him to the forest. He did make Grawp promise to try and not uproot so many trees and to stay out of the centaurs way."

Harry didn't know what to say so he just nodded. Hagrid seemed to consider it an adequate response, because he continued on, leading Harry out from the cover of the trees. They continued in silence until they reached Hagrid's hut.

Once inside, Hagrid fixed a pot of tea for the both of them. Harry stared at his steaming mug awhile, not knowing what to say. Hagrid sat down.

"You don' seem yourself, Harry." The half-giant said, looking him over.

Harry looked up, surprised. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you seem fairly normal this year." Hagrid said. "In my opinion, you have every right to not be normal this year. You're takin' your detentions from Snape without arguin', you're getting' your schoolwork done."

Harry looked up at Hagrid. "Hagrid, how should I be acting? Everyone keeps telling me everything will be fine."

Hagrid shook his head. "Aren't you sad about losin' Sirius? Aren't you angry about anythin', Harry?"

Harry felt the emotions that had been at a slow boil for the past few months begin to simmer. "Of course I miss Sirius. And I can't stand the stink people are putting up about his innocence hearing. It's the truth, Hagrid. Sirius didn't murder Pettigrew."

Harry could feel his anger rising now, but unlike before, he could direct it. But not at Hagrid, who was still sitting at the table, sipping his tea.

Harry stood up and began pacing. "Since I was eleven, Hagrid, when you came to get me, I have been told I am special. I just found out last year how special. Did you know I'm a weapon, Hagrid?"

Harry was finally venting all the frustration he felt bottled up. "Dumbledore needs me, Hagrid. He needs me to destroy Voldemort. That's why I was allowed to break the rules. Because he had to keep me in Hogwarts, safe and sound. He needed me to be able to face Voldemort for him."

Hagrid stared cautiously up at Harry, but let him continue. "And because I was so used to playing the hero, I forgot to think about what Voldemort wanted. Hermione was right!" Harry yelled so forcefully Hagrid startled.

"Hermione knew I had a hero thing and I ignored her. That's why Sirius died, Hagrid! Not because of Snape, not because of Voldemort. Because of me!" Harry felt tears stinging his eyes.

Hagrid was at a loss of words. Harry continued his storming. "The least I can do is make sure he's cleared of Peter's and my parents' death, Hagrid. The Wizarding world has a right to know who the real villain is."

"Harry." Said Hagrid cautiously, clearing his throat. "I think you're overreacting. Sirius died because his no-good cousin shot a nasty spell his way. Dumbledore and Lupin told me so. It wasn't your fault."

Harry was still seething. "But why was he there in the first place, Hagrid? To save me. Bellatrix Lestrange just got lucky. I hate her, Hagrid. I hate her." Harry threw himself in to the chair and gulped the hot liquid from his mug. It burned his throat but he didn't care.

He lifted his eyes to Hagrid. Hagrid was staring at Harry, unsure of how to proceed. Harry wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve and felt the first tinge of guilt.

"Hagrid." He began, but Hagrid cut him off.

"Harry, you're allowed to blow off a little steam now and again."

"Hagrid, this was more than a little steam." Harry said, motioning towards the overturned buckets and piles he'd left in his wake while stalking around the tiny cottage.

Hagrid smiled. "No worse than Fang when he gets excited. You feel better, Harry?"

Harry thought about it a moment. "Yeah. Yeah, I definitely feel a little better, Hagrid. Thanks."

"S'nothin'." Said Hagrid. "Why don't we consider your detention served, eh? Head on back up to the castle now." He showed Harry to the door and gave him a hug as Harry exited the hut.

Smiling a little to himself, Harry looked up at the castle as he approached. He could still feel the anger pulsing through him, but he thought he could keep it in check. Then he saw Malfoy.

"Enjoy your detention with the giant, Potty?" Malfoy drawled. He was leaning up against the base of the giant staircase, flanked by Crabbe and Goyle on either side.

Harry swallowed and kept his eyes down. Draco didn't let it pass. "What's the matter, Potter? Tired of detentions? Turns out you're not the saint everyone thought you were. Quite the nasty temper, eh?"

Harry willed himself not to look at Draco. He pretended to be very interested in a crack that spidered its way across the flagstone floor. He heard him step closer. Draco leaned in a spoke in a soft voice.

"I heard you can do terrible things when you're angry, Potter. Unforgivable things."

Harry allowed himself to look at Draco. He was smirking. He gave Harry a wink and took off down the hall. Harry was seething, but Draco's comment had taken him off guard. Unforgivable things? Did Draco know he had cast the Cruciatus curse in the Ministry of Magic last spring?

Harry felt his anger rising again. What difference did it make? It hadn't been a real curse. Bellatrix Lestrange had shrugged it off in a matter of seconds. She had taunted him about cursing a true Cruciatus.

"What difference does it make?" he bellowed in to the empty hall. A startled sound came from behind the statue to his left. Walking over, he saw Luna Lovegood's head appear.

"Oh, hello Harry." She said vaguely. She picked herself up and dusted off a few specks of dirt that had collected on her skirt.

Harry stared in amazement. "Wh-what are you doing here, Luna?"

She pulled at a clump of dust in her blond hair. "Oh, nothing much. Looking for evidence of mirphats. Father and Professor Jungast say they like the dark spaces in entryways."

"Mirphats?" Harry asked. Since becoming a wizard, Harry had become accustomed to oddly named creatures, but mirphats?

"Yes," Luna confirmed. "They're commonly referred to as dormice, but Professor Jungast and my father have had some harrowing experiences with them."

Harry stared. "Dormice? What's so dangerous about dormice?"

"Not dormice, Harry." Luna corrected gently. "Mirphats. Muggles, of course, call them dormice. Their trick is to look very sweet and cuddly. Then, once a human has picked them up, they unleash their fangs."

Harry continued to stare. Luna looked up at him.

"Nasty way to go, really." She commented. Harry nodded his head in agreement.

"Well," she continued. "I haven't found any yet, but there are hundreds of entryways in the castle I'm bound to find one somewhere. Would you like to join me?" she asked.

Harry shook his head immediately. "Thanks, Luna, but I have to get back to Gryffindor common room-I just got back from detention."

Luna nodded absentmindedly, already moving off to the great hall. Harry watched her move on then continued up the stairs. Alone with his thoughts, he immediately returned to the lightly veiled threat Draco had given him.

Who would he tell? Harry wondered. Dumbledore? Suddenly Harry felt a twisting in his stomach. He didn't want Dumbledore to know he had cast an Unforgivable. He knew the look the Headmaster would give him, one mixed with understanding and pity.

Well, Harry didn't want his pity. If Dumbledore had taught him Occlumency, rather than passing it on to Snape, Harry would have learned to block his mind and he never would have seen the vision of Sirius. Harry had only been acting out of anger and hate at Bellatrix Lestrange. If Dumbledore hadn't lied to him and hadn't kept him in the dark about everything it never would have happened.

Yes, this was all Dumbledore's fault, Harry thought angrily, and he stomped up the stairs. All the frustration, all the anger. He continued stomping up the stairs, not looking up, his hands shoved in his pockets.

Suddenly he hit a soft wall. He tried to pull his hands out of his pockets in time, but couldn't. Rather than fall all the way to the floor, however, a pair of strong arms caught him.

"Headmaster!" Harry said, looking up in to the face of his rescuer.

"Harry." Dumbledore said quietly. He lifted Harry back to standing position. Harry brushed himself off.

He felt terribly guilty about the nasty thoughts he just been having, now that he was facing his headmaster.

"What topic of thought had you so involved that you did not notice me?" Dumbledore asked, a twinkle showing beneath his spectacles.

Harry glanced down, unsure of what to say. "I was, I was....I am angry, sir."

Dumbledore looked at him interestedly. "Angry? About what?"

"Not about anything, sir. I am angry at...you." Harry truthfully. He let the statement hang, neither of them saying anything.

Dumbledore looked thoughtful for a moment, and then motioned Harry to follow him. Harry fell in to step beside him.

"Harry," Dumbledore began, "I can only imagine what emotions must be flowing through you at this moment. I understand your anger at me; though I had hopes you would have moved past it. I did what I thought, at the time, was right. I do regret some of my decisions, but not most."

"I haven't been angry at you this whole time, sir. It was only the past few minutes." Harry said truthfully, wishing he could explain himself better.

"What happened in the past few minutes?" Dumbledore asked. They were still walking, though Harry couldn't figure out their destination. They had passed by the turn off for the Headmaster's office.

"I ran in to Draco in the main hall." Harry began. He didn't know how much he was going to reveal, but it felt good to talk. Dumbledore nodded and motioned for Harry to continue. "He said he'd heard about my fight with Bellatrix Lestrange this spring. He said he knew I'd done things. Bad things." Harry swallowed. Now or never. "Sir, I cast an Unforgivable, twice. It didn't work very well. Bellatrix laughed and said I really had to cause pain. I cast the Cruciatus a second time and it seemed to work, because she screamed, but it didn't last very long. I'm very sorry, sir." Harry mumbled.

Dumbledore had stopped moving and was staring hard at Harry. Harry flashed his eyes up once at Dumbledore, and then kept them trained on the tip of Dumbledore's right boot.

He heard the rustle of Dumbledore's robes and looked up. The headmaster was smiling sadly at him. "Harry, I appreciate your telling me this, but I already knew you had cast the Cruciatus at Mrs. Lestrange."

Harry looked up in wonderment. Already knew? "But sir, how?"

"Bellatrix Lestrange was very eager to tell the Death Eaters what she had gotten Harry Potter to do." Dumbledore said.

"Professor Snape told you." Harry said flatly.

Dumbledore nodded. "He did not do it out of malice, Harry. It is important I know things like this, for it helps me to understand what Tom may try and do next to hurt you. He knows now, weak though it was, that you could be moved to anger enough to cast an Unforgivable. That knowledge is dangerous. There are many ways he can try and manipulate you now. Mister Weasley and Miss Granger may not be aware, but they, like you, are under extended watch from the staff."

Harry looked up. Ron and Hermione? "Why?"

"Harry, during your fourth year," Dumbledore said, moving down the corridor again, "Mister Weasley was the thing you would have missed the most for the second task. Since then, your friendship with both him and Miss Granger has only grown tighter. Voldemort has already had it proven to him and you are intensely loyal to your friends and are willing to sacrifice your own safety for their protection. Should anything happen to the two of them; you would fight tooth and nail to the death to save them. Am I correct?"

Harry thought it over. "Yes. Yes I would. Ron and Hermione have been my friends since first year. They're like family to me."

Dumbledore nodded again. "Indeed. Voldemort knows that."

A new thought struck Harry. "Everyone I love, or have loved, is in danger. He killed my parents, he killed Sirius. He'll try and kill Ron and Hermione. Sir, everyone I love is in terrible danger. Why do you allow me to stay here?"

Dumbledore looked puzzled. "Because you are safe here, Harry."

"But because I'm here, no one else is safe." He said, his anxiety rising.

"Harry, Hogwarts is very safe against any attacks." Dumbledore tried to reassure him. Harry would have none of it.

"I shouldn't be here. As long as I'm here, everyone is in danger. I should leave. I should go away. Sir." He said, turning to face the headmaster. "Surely there is someplace secret I could go to hide."

Dumbledore sighed and answered. "There is any number of places you could hide, Harry." Harry felt his chest rise, "but you are not going to any of them." Before Harry could begin his protest, Dumbledore continued, "I will not allow any students under my tutelage to go in to hiding from a madman. You have already faced Voldemort five times in your life, Harry. You are braver than most any wizard alive. I will not have you go running in fear from him."

"But sir, the others." Harry interjected.

"Nonsense. They are in less danger if you are here. If you are here, Voldemort knows where you are and is content. If you were to go in to hiding, Voldemort would try and draw you out by attacking the ones that are dear to you. No, Harry, you are far safer here than anywhere else in the world."

Harry thought about it. It makes sense. But Ron and Hermione were still in danger. "Thank you, sir." He told the headmaster.

"Not at all, Harry. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am sure we both have places to be." Dumbledore patted Harry on the shoulder as he left. Harry looked around him and was surprised to find he was in front of the portrait of the fat lady. Muttering the password, Harry climbed inside.

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A/N: I am particularly proud of this chapter. I feel it fleshes out Harry very well. I hope you feel the same. Hopefully there will be more posted soon. Take care.