A Christmas Medley, a csi fanfic

Title: A Christmas Medley

Author: Mac

Rating: PG-13

Summary: The root of every relationship is love, trust, and friendship. Christmas is a time of confirmation of all these things.

Spoilers: A bit of everything prior to season four.

Author's Note: I beg your indulgence. It seems that I am perpetually a year or so behind in my stories when compared to the series timeline. To my faithful teams of betas, thank you for all the hard work you do sifting through the many drafts that I create.

Disclaimer: CSI and its characters belong to Anthony Zuiker, Jerry Bruckheimer, CBS, et al.

Song Disclaimers:

"The Night Before Christmas" is from the album "Home for Christmas" as sung by Amy Grant (written and arranged by Johnny Marks) c. 1992.

"The Prayer" is from the album "These Are Special Times" and is sung by Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli Arranged by David Foster c. 1998.

The excerpts of "Simple Gifts" and "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" are from the King Singer's album "A Little Christmas Music" 1989.

Children carry through the streets

A brightly painted star

Angels gather round the hearth

Strumming on guitars

Men of great renown and faith

Say prayers on boulevards

It's the night before Christmas

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There was no snow on the lawn outside the living room window. Inside, a tall artificial tree held court beside the picture window. Below its lowest branches, a multitude of colorful packages lay quietly arousing the curiosity of the guests. On the far wall, an artificial fireplace had been erected. Stockings hung from iron hooks.

Not a soul disturbed the picture perfect setting in the living room; instead joyful sounds of laughter and conversation spilled from the dinning room. There was a smorgasbord of food brought by guests on the table. Carols filled the occasional lapse in conversations. No one sat down at the table, having opted for the more informal buffet pre-dinner sneaking of foodstuff as the Hostess finished the main course in the kitchen, which had been declared off limits after the successful cookie raid performed by the younger members of the party.

The assumed mantle of Host fell upon the shoulders of a bearded fellow who had taken it upon himself to cheer up a sullen ten-year-old with no luck. The little girl kept looking away, her eyes searching for the one who would not be there and for the other who hid behind a closed door. Sighing, he excused himself and went to replenish his drink. The first holidays were always the roughest. It may have been eight months, but the grief was still too new.

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But you don't have to be an angel

To sing harmony

You don't have to be a child

To love the mystery

And you don't have to be a wise man

On bended knee

The heart of this Christmas is in you and me

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He quietly placed his empty cup on the sideboard and entered forbidden territory. To everyone else she was composed, the perfect hostess; however, he knew it was all a façade. Behind her eyes, pain battled for control. He cursed the man who brought all this upon his family, intentionally or not.

"Why is it so hard?" The words were spoken softly. He looked up as she tucked a lock of golden hair behind her ear. Neither knew how long they stared at each other, but in the silence, they found solace. He moved forward slowly.

"I don't know," he whispered. They stood still barely touching for several moments. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and held her. She turned her face to his chest and let the tears she never shed when others were around fall.

The constant buzzing of the oven timer generated cheers from the other room. Reluctantly, he stepped away from their embrace as he thought of something to say. She smirked as he whispered into her ear, "We probably should feed the troops before they plan another raid on the kitchen."

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The night before Christmas

If you heart's been longing

You've been afraid to try

Sorrow's kept you company

And the dance has passed you by

I'll lift you up and blaze with you

Across the moonlit sky

On the night before Christmas

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He stood outside the bay window looking into the dining room. They sat around the table, laughing and talking. The temperatures were approaching a record low as moisture crystallized on the windows. Above the city lights, the stars disappeared behind clouds. Greg had managed to do the impossible as he and Lindsey held a spirited chat between them. Grissom was divided between wanting to know what was being said and letting them have their secrets.

"What are you doing out here without a jacket?" Catherine's voice interrupted his observation. The gravel crunched beneath her feet as she approached. "Damn, it's cold out here."

Grissom smiled and faced her. Her breath floated in the air as she rubbed her arms in hopes of keeping warm. He joined her away from the window. She looked at him expectantly. "You never answered my question."

"You first."

Catherine held his gaze for a moment. His cheeks and nose were red from the chill. She knew he was not asking why she was not wearing something over the thin blouse. "I can't. I'm sorry."

"I know." Grissom tried to hide the disappointment in his voice. He knew she would refuse, but that did not prevent him from hoping that she would agree.

"Lindsey needs me right now, and with everything that happened with Sam and -"

Grissom pulled her into his arms. "I understand, Cath; but I meant what I said."

"Thank you." Neither moved until they heard the door open emitting an ecstatic ten-year-old.

"It's snowing!" And indeed, it was. Tiny snowflakes fell to the earth catching in strands of hair for a moment before melting.

The debris of food and company lay about in a happy mess. The guests had gone home in the wee hours of the morning. A tired, but protesting daughter had finally been put to bed. Snow continued to fall, covering everything in its path for the first time in recent memory. She stood in the semi-darkness of the room and sighed. It had helped to have friends around, but the hollow emptiness she felt remained; a dull ache that tore at the very center of her soul for a person whom she had once loved.

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I pray you'll be our eyes and watch us where we go

And help us to be wise in times when we don't know

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He could see her silhouette through the open curtains. His heart broke as candles were carefully blown out and the extinguished lights swallowed all but one room in complete darkness. The light in her room went out moments later and returned him to the dark of night. He sighed heavily as he climbed into his car and started the engine. With one last look at her house, he pulled away from the curb. Whispered words hung in the air unacknowledged: "Sleep well, Catherine."

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Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way

Lead us to a place; guide us with your grace

To a place where we'll be safe

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The city of lights was at a standstill. Snow sparkled like diamonds under the glare of the dawning of the new day. It was a brand new world for young and old alike.

A man woke with a single purpose glinting in his eyes. The city would be in a calm panic as the plows used in the light mountain snows were ordered to come rescue the city. He dressed carefully, recalling the winter chill of Minnesota and Illinois. He picked up the carefully wrapped presents that he had not brought to the previous evening's party and made his way carefully to the car.

Across town, a blonde haired girl woke and crept into the living room to see if her dream came true. The tree in the corner once again had gifts beneath it. Some were wrapped by her hand and others had been done by friends and other family members. Lindsey looked around for any sign of life lurking around the room. When she found none, she sighed and left the room to wake her mother.

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The gift we deliver and the gift we receive.

Is the living spirit Mary did conceive.

A royal gift of love incandescently

Is given to all mankind in His name.

Joy! Joy! It is a true delight

To give and receive on this wondrous night.

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The car pulled to a stop outside her home. He had been the single brave soul to travel the streets. The house was quiet and dark, yet. He looked behind him at the packages he managed to arrange carefully into a red sack. Part of him wanted to just set the gifts outside her door and leave. But then his more reasonable side piped up, 'You don't want her to celebrate alone, again. Do you?' He turned off the engine and fumbled for the key she had given him long ago.

She was snoring softly when the mattress bounced. Groggily, one eye opened to look at the intruder. Lindsey wore her PJs and a grin that had been missing for months. Catherine closed her eyes feigning the need for more sleep. Lindsey shook her shoulder and giggled a bit.

"What time is it?" Catherine mumbled. This was what she looked forward to the most on Christmas Day. A chance to forget everything and be innocent again.

The door opened soundlessly and he slipped into the dimly lit hall. Sounds emanating from one of the bedrooms told him that mother and daughter were involved in a tickle battle and that he had some time to arrange things. First, he laid packages around the tree; then he headed for the kitchen with a few more small packages, which he stashed away to be found after he had left. The coffee maker was ready to go so he turned it on and waited.

"Okay, I'm awake! I'm awake. I suppose there's nothing I can say to convince you to let me sleep? ... No, I didn't think so. Okay, give me a moment to put the coffee on and then we'll tackle the tree."

That was his cue. He poured out the coffee into two mugs and made for the living room. His heart thudded in his chest. This could go very bad if he said the wrong thing. He took a deep breath and stepped forward almost walking into Catherine.

"Well, this is certainly unexpected." The joy he had heard only moments earlier was absent. Grissom stared at the two steaming mugs searching for the right response. Her hand wrapped around one of the mugs. "Thank you."

Those two words, although spoken softly, held so much meaning that he met her eyes. There he saw the woman he had known for years staring back at him with no fear and no guilt. He saw the inquisitive look that once held him captive so often return to her eyes. "I -."

"Thank you," she said at the same time. Silence settled between them for a brief moment.

"Mom! Uncle Gil! Hurry up!" The impatience in Lindsey's voice broke through and a quirky smile graced Catherine's face.

Catherine leaned forward and whispered, "Ready to see destruction and mayhem like never before?"

"Only if you are," he whispered back conspiratorially.

They walked into the living room to find Lindsey rooting through all the packages and sorting them into three piles. He looked at the woman beside him and raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"I was kinda hoping you would stop by, I guess." Catherine explained as they sat down on the couch together. Gil smiled and nodded his head. "About last night, Gil."

"I understand, Cath. You take all the time you need. Until then, I'm still your friend. I'll be here when you need me."

Catherine kissed his cheek and leaned her head on his shoulder. Lindsey handed them both a package and sat down on the floor before the tree. "So who goes first?"

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We wish you a Merry Christmas

And a Happy New Year

We wish you a Merry Christmas

And a Happy New Year

Good tidings we bring to you and your kin

We wish you a Merry Christmas

And a Happy New Year