AN: Sorry for the late update! Some stuff I needed for this chapter to a long time to come to me. And I couldn't access the site last night... Anyway, I've made this chappie extra-long again for your enjoyment. :)

Idea#6: A Very Bard Day

"Prongs, what in Merlin's name are you doing?"

James looked up from the book he'd had his nose buried in. "I'm reading, Moony."

"Since when?"

"Since today." James stuck his face back in between the pages.

Remus leaned over and looked at the cover as he sipped the butterbeer he'd sneaked earlier that morning—and spit the golden stuff from his mouth.

"Hey!" James whined. He glared quite formidably at his friend through dripping glasses.

But Remus was beside himself. "The Bard? THE BARD?"

"Who's The Bard?" James asked quizzically.

"Shakespeare! William Shakespeare! Sheesh, Prongs, you're reading the man's works and don't even know who he is!" Remus failed to notice that his butterbeer had sloshed out of its bottle and drenched a couple of first years.

"No need to get emotional, Moony," James drawled as he gave the wet first years a passing glance. "How'd you know that anyway?"

"Lily." Something in Remus's voice seemed to add the word duh. "Why are you reading Shakespeare?"

"I'm trying to get some tips."

"Tips?"

"Yes. For writing poetry."

"Oh no."

"Oh yes."

"Whoa, what happened to the kids?" Sirius asked as he passed a pair of dripping students on his way to James and Remus.

"It's almost his time of the month," James reported calmly. "You know how it gets."

"Ah yes. Must be his PWS kicking in—" Sirius stopped. "Prongsie, why are you holding a book?"

"He's reading," Remus explained, stressing the word reading. "Bard."

"What's Bard?"

"Honestly, don't you people know anything?"

"Yep. Definitely pre-werewolf syndrome," Sirius confirmed dramatically, although he did lower his voice.

"Keep it down, Padfoot!"

"I did!"

"Relax, Moony, or you're going to blow a blood vessel," James remarked. "Besides, no one heard. They're too busy listening to Frank Longbottom recount his hexing of Snivellus."

Nicole clambered through the portrait hole just then. "Alice let me in," she explained when questioning glances fell upon the Ravenclaw.

Sirius straightened up and smoothed his hair. "Nicole, you didn't have to come all the way here. I told you I was going over."

"It's no problem, Sirius. Hey, what's with Remus?" Nicole indicated a red-faced and breathing-hard werewolf.

"He's just a bit emotional at the moment. So, shall we go, milady?" Sirius bowed and extended his hand.

Remus and James snapped out of their dazes fast as they stared at the pair. "Go where?"

"We have a date with the plants," Sirius replied. In one smooth move, he pulled some sort of yellow-white flower out of his robes and presented it to his latest lady love. "Stargazer. For you."

A rapturous expression appeared on Nicole's face. "Oh, it's so pretty! Look at those petals...the way they just glow...How'd you know I love stargazers? Oh...thank you, Sirius."

With each word, James's and Remus's jaws dropped closer and closer to the floor.

"Can't help you this time, Prongs, but I wish you all the best! Later, if you're still alive." Sirius led Nicole out the portrait hole.

"How does he do it?" James breathed in awe.

"You're asking me?" Remus replied.

"I can't even get ONE girl to go out with me, and...look at him! Where's the justice on this earth?"

"Well, there are about a thousand girls who'd go out with you in a heartbeat if you asked. But there's a problem: You want Lily, and only Lily."

"True. I wouldn't want to date a fan girl anyway. It'd be way too...uncomfortable."

"See what I mean?"

James determinedly stuck his nose back into his poetry book, muttering nonsense words under his breath. With a deep sigh, Remus went to get him a pot of coffee.

xxxxxxxxxx

James was on his fourteenth pot of coffee. It was about one in the morning, and James was determined to write a good poem. A poem worthy of Lily.

"No, argh, this one's horrible," James muttered as he tossed another balled-up piece of parchment on the floor.

"Need more coffee, Prongs?" Remus yawned as he came down to the common room.

"Moony! Um, yes, I'd like that."

Remus returned a few minutes later with another big pot. "You ought to get some sleep. I mean, who wants some zombie-like, messy-haired person to read them original poetry?"

"I want to get this done as quickly as I can."

"Your call, then. But do get in at least a couple of hours of rest, all right?"

"I will. Thanks."

"Oh, and I brought you another poetry book. It's very short, but very helpful." Remus dropped a small volume on the table. "Good luck, Prongs."

"Thanks a lot, Moony."

As Remus's footsteps faded, James cracked open the book. Then, a smile flitting across his features, he began to write.

xxxxxxxxxx

James snuck into the kitchens an hour later.

"Tippy!" he called to one of the house-elves.

The little thing immediately scurried over to meet him. "What can Tippy do for you, sir?"

"Tippy, I'd like you to do me a little favor. Round up some of your friends for this."

xxxxxxxxxx

Lily yawned as she rolled out of bed that morning to the insistent knocking on the door.

"Who on earth—"

"Miss?" squeaked a house-elf Lily knew from her trips to the kitchens with the Marauders when Lily threw open the door.

"Tippy? What's going on?" Lily asked when twenty more house-elves popped out.

"A-one, a-two..."

"O Lily whose scent is as strong as a rose," sang some female house-elves to the tune of...Jingle Bells.

"Pure whiteness engulfs her from head to toes," continued some male house-elves.

"Flaming red hair of fire—" trilled the females.

"Fans my desire," the males continued.

"As much as your kissable red lips I admire!!!" the house-elf choir finished all together.

By this time, all of Lily's dorm mates had woken.

"Merlin, those elves are good," Alice mused. "Perfect pitch. Not the least bit off-key."

"They really ought to consider a career in music," agreed another girl. "They'd be instant hits. Too bad they like housekeeping better."

Lily thanked Tippy for the excellent performance while the other girls clapped. The house-elves bowed before marching back to the kitchens.

Lily got dressed and headed down to the common room.

"Uh-oh," Alice sighed.

xxxxxxxxxx

"Whoa, what happened to you?" Lily asked as she descended upon James.

The boy had dark shadows under his eyes, and his eyelids were drooping. He looked very tired.

"Stayed up late," he replied, yawning.

Lily pointed her wand at him. "Just a small charm to perk you up."

It worked. James looked a little better.

"Where are Sirius and Remus?" she asked.

"Padfoot went to breakfast with his new girlfriend, and Moony...I'm not sure." James shut his eyes tiredly.

"Oh. Anyway...you sent the house-elves and wrote the poem didn't you?"

James suddenly looked very alert. "Uh-oh."

"Well, I can't say much for your ability to write poetry...but the house-elves were a nice wake-up call." With that, Lily flounced off.

Remus came down from the boys' dormitories just then. "Was that Lily?"

"Yes." James looked stunned.

Remus gave him a quick once-over. "You still look human..."

"She doesn't hate me!" James cheered.

AN: ALL PRAISE BELONGS TO THE LORD ALMIGHTY FROM WHOM ALL TALENTS AND INSPIRATION FLOWS!

Kudos to my dear friend xiaofa for the poem! :)

To my reviewers, who so kindly continued to put up with me:

Carmel March- Hey! Nice to see you again! :) Thanks!

FoolishlyBraveDarkStar- Thanks! More fluff coming up... :)

Hogwarts-fanatic91- Very not fun to have the DSL out. Thanks! :)

Xinlingluvxiezhi- If I based it completely on Piggy-wiggy, the poor character would be so...ugh. Yes, Buko is such a great inspiration... :D

DK Lili- Really? You thought it wasn't? I thought it was really sickening already. :) And I've always loved the James-with-antlers thing...I used the same idea in one of my other fics.

Shortie522- Yeah, it does create that implication. :) Thanks! :)

Dans-girl-4ever- Well, we'll have to see about that kissing part... ;)

Annmarie Aspasia- Whew, I'm glad you like sugary stuff... :)

Alcapacien- Thanks for the compliment! :) And yes, all glory is God's! :) Also, I checked the dictionary, and faun means "Latin rural deity with a goat's legs and horns", and I don't think that's what Jamesie looks like... :)

Brilliant-author16- Thanks so much! :)

James'Gurl215- Don't worry, even if I knew you, I wouldn't say that you are stupid because no one is created by God to be dumb. :) As for whether Nicole likes Sirius in that way...well you'll have to wait for the next chapter for the revelation...

SnoopyViz- Thanks! :)

CherryChick914- You know, I never thought of that, but Nicole and Neville would get along... Thanks! :)

Crimson Girl- I'm glad you guys liked the antlers! Thanks! :)

Invisible2u- Thanks! When I was creating the character Nicole, I was actually wondering whether to have Sirius or Remus fall in love with her, and I finally asked my best friend who she'd prefer, and she said Sirius, so I did just that... :) The thing between was not supposed to be so obvious...it was originally supposed to be a happening-in-the-background thing, but I changed my mind. :)