Faith grabbed at my arm as the cross sailed out of reach. It caught the sunlight as it spun crazily across the water. It disappeared below the rim of the water and I heard her gasp. Without a moment's though I pulled off my shirt and dived in after it. My hands searched through the murky waters searching for the cool metal of the cross. My hands closed on something small and I pulled it out of the water cheering. I waded back to the shore and dropped it on her palm.

"You didn't have to do that."

I shrugged, "I threw it out there. This mean you have faith again?"

"Yeah, I still agree with some of the things you said. But I've had faith all my life, anyway even Jesus had his faith tested right?"

I nodded not knowing the answer.

"Are you okay? You're shivering. It's cause you're wet and it's cold! Greg, you're gonna get the flu or something."

I shook my head. The reason I was shivering, it wasn't the cold. I had that gnawing empty feeling in my gut. You know when you have it tell the truth, even though it's probably not a good idea?

"Come on let's sit down."

I pulled on my t-shirt and sat down on the bench. She looped the necklace round her neck and joined me.

"Faith…"

"Yeah?"

"You know a lot about god right?"

"Well, what I've read in the bible. No-one really knows about Him do they?"

I paused and frowned slightly then dismissed my argument. It wasn't the time for that.

"What's God's view on…..well, on people who are gay?"

"Well, it does say in the bible that it is wrong. I don't recall any mention of women who are gay being bad though," She said laughing. "I think, God perhaps he doesn't like it. But he wanted us all to love each other, so many people are gay now….so I don't think he would really mind. It would be discrimination. God teaches that is wrong. So if he was discriminative then he would be hypocritical right?"

I nodded thinking.

"Is there something you want to tell me? Greg?" She said, when I didn't answer she placed her hand over mine and squeezed it slightly. "Please, tell me."

I looked up at her pleading face and took a deep breath. "There's this boy-"

"At school?"

"Yeah, we were mates. He's gay, he told me himself. You see I did this bad thing-" I proceeded to fill her in on the situation with Tanya, " Then I told him….god I told him he should get a girlfriend. Sort himself out."

"Haven't you already admitted you have feelings though?"

"In the hospital, yeah I kinda did. That's what makes it all worse."

"Do you love him?"

I sighed and buried my face in my hands. I looked at the lake and could immediately see him swimming in it. I blinked twice to get rid of the apparition.

"I think I do. No, I do. I do love him. I treated him so badly though, I was just……..I was so in denial that I couldn't see what I had."

"So, what's he like?"

I looked at her.

"He's…..his name is Jordan. He's a little smaller than me, he's got a nice smile. You hardly ever see it. Not his true smile. I always used to feel so privileged."

"Well, it's no use telling me this. Tell him."

"He'll never speak to me."

"You have to try Greg."

I watched as the dusk light flooded the grotto a faint pink and watched as it played on the curves of her face, she smiled at me and I suddenly stood.

"I've got to go. Sorry Faith."

"I know. Go do the whole romantic reconciliation thing." I kissed her on the cheek and dragged my bike off the ground. It seemed as thought time stood still as I cycled as fast as I could to Jordan's house. When I got there the lights were on and I could see the light from his room. I tied my bike to the gatepost and knocked on the door. His Dad answered and raised an eyebrow at me. Still sopping wet, forgot that damn.

"You silly boy, swimming in this weather?"

"Yeah, sorry. Is Jordan here?"

"He's up in his room. Go on up, he's only watching TV." He said gesturing up the stairs. I nodded and slowly scaled the stairs. As I stood outside his room I had a feeling that if I went in there, there was no turning back. I knocked on the door.

"Come in…."

He shouted and I pushed open the door. He was sitting at his desk, back towards the door.

"Is tea ready? I thought you said two-" He said before catching sight of me, "Greg. Hi, I'm busy at the moment. You'll have to come back later."

"Jordan. Please, I need to explain-"

"You don't need to explain a thing."

"Well, then I have to tell you something."

He stared at me then motioned for me to sit on the bed. I sat fingering the cotton between my fingers and he turned on the chair towards me."

"What's up?"

"I've been behaving like an idiot. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I can't believe I said those things and I didn't mean them. I promise you that."

"I kinda guessed you had something on your mind. Care to share?"

"Look, recently I've been…..well I've had feelings for someone."

"Do I know them?"

"Yes you know him."

He paused as if to interrupt then waved me on.

"He's been an amazing friend to me. He's tall and although he doesn't smile a lot, he isn't cold. He's kind hearted, an amazing swimmer…..and I love him."

His eyes widened and I panicked then he sat next to me on the bed. His shoulder was warm next to mine and I bit my lip waiting for him to speak.

"I think I know this friend. He likes you too you know that? He thinks you're intelligent, thoughtful and he's never had a friend quite like you. He loves you too."

I blinked and turned to look at him. He was smiling and as I looked into his eyes I could feel myself falling. I don't think I'll ever know who started that first kiss. We were so close, his breath was hot on my skin then his lips tentatively pressed against mine. I closed my eyes as fireworks exploded behind my eyelids.

I started to realise that my kiss with Faith, my kiss with Tanya. If you can call it that, they were nothing to this. There was nothing more wonderful than kissing your love and to have him kiss back, regardless of gender. As we finally broke off I grinned and touched my lips with my fingers.

"Wow….."

"Yeah. Greg, I do love you. I think I always have done."

"I love you too Jordan. You're all I think about. You're all I dream about."

He leant in and kissed me again.

It was later on when we were sitting on the wall outside his house that I started to worry.

"I have to tell my parents."

"Tonight??!" He said shocked.

"If I don't, listen I don't think I could keep myself from touching you, or kissing you or-"

"I get it. You'd give yourself away?"

"Yeah."

"Fine, you want me to be there?"

"Yes, please."

He smiled and took my hand.

"Let's go."

I hesitantly walked up to my house. I don't think I've ever felt more sick in my entire life. I opened the door.

"Greg honey, you want some of this-" Mum started before she saw Jordan behind me, "Oh hello Jordan. You staying for tea."

"Mum, is Dad in?"

"Yeah, he's in the living room. Why?"

"Can you come in here for a second? I need to speak to you."

Whether it was the slightly dazed expression or urgency in my voice that made her put down the tea towel and walk into the living room I don't think I'll ever know.

"You see Mum, Dad….erm….I don't know how to say this…."

Jordan patted me on the shoulder in a reassuring way. "I'm gay."

The pause lasted for all of three seconds.

"Greg? Gay, but you've had girlfriends! You have a poster of Britney Spears on your wall!"

"I know, I do like girls but…" I looked at Jordan, "I love Jordan."

"Oh."

Mum's voice had quietened to a whisper and Dad was still silent.

"If it makes you happy, well we can see you are happy, then I guess we're okay with it son." He said slowly.

I don't think I've ever loved my family as much as I did right then.

"He's right Greg, just one thing Jordan if I may," Said Dad he walked over to him. Jordan looked worried and I smiled at him.

"Greg obviously loves you, so if you break his heart you will have this family to deal with." My Dad said it in a jokey way but I could tell he was serious.

"I thought your family were going to behead me for a few seconds there."

The pale moonlight lit up Graveney Hall and gave it an otherworldly look.

"They just care about me."

"Something we have in common then huh?"

I smiled and took his hand as we walked down to the lake.

"I wish we had been born in a time like this."

Alex whispered to Edmund as they lay in the grass overlooking the two boys.

"But back then, it was so forbidden. I guess I liked having something to myself."

Alex rolled his eyes at him then stood up. He pulled Edmund up too and they started to follow the two boys.

"You never did show me the grounds properly."

"We've got to go soon."

"I know."

He laughed as Alex rubbed noses with him and they walked on, hand in hand in the moonlight. The light went straight through them as they slowly faded from view.