DISCLAIMER: Squaresoft and FF8 do not belong to me. I wish, but maybe when I'm better at this writing thing. Oh well I think I'll just keep dreaming.

CHAPTER 2: Worries

Squall leaned out into the balcony as he surveyed the surroundings before him. Things had gotten back to normal. The Garden has settled back into its usual spot in Balamb. Everything's gotten back to where things left off.

Amazing, Squall thought silently. It was as if nothing ever happened here. The Garden and its secret weapon capable of flight and moving itself away from danger, the surprise attack from Galbadia Garden led by Seifer, Rinoa becoming a sorceress, finding his childhood, everything.

So many things have happened. He closed his eyes as he thought carefully.

He's in the control room of the Garden in 3F. Being the commander of the Garden lets him have the authority to come to the control room as he pleases. Today he wanted to be alone. Alone with his thoughts as he pondered away with his worries gnawing in his mind.

Right now he's thinking about his strange dream. It struck him funny. Why would he suddenly be having nightmares about Ultimecia? The fateful event occurred a few weeks ago. Everything is ok now. If fact, since the defeat of the sorceress from the future, Headmaster Cid had been considering changing the policy of the Garden. SeeD's main purpose is to stop sorceresses from taking over the world. They are a resistance group, trained mercenaries to fight and to take action whatever it takes to overthrow the sorceress.

But ever since the downfall of Sorceress Ultimecia there are no longer any more sorceresses to battle. To anyone becoming a sorceress is highly unlikely as the sorceress from the future is destroyed. There's no chance that she'll be able to pass on her powers to anyone. Well, Edea took on her powers. The only reason she did this so is because she didn't want any of her children to become a sorceress

Matron. How much you cared for all of us. You treated each one of us as if we were your own. Matron, along with her husband Cid Kramer indeed went to great lengths to protect them in the orphanage. They even sent Ellone to live in the White SeeD ship because of the pursuit for her special powers. Sorceress Adel had wanted to take her to make use of them. Their lives had linked with wars and battles since their early years. After the Sorceress War all of them were left orphaned at a young age. From then on most of their lives include fighting and struggle.

Squall couldn't say he turned out ok. No, I didn't turn out ok at all. After "Sis" left he basically changed. In a way he felt as if a big part of him was taken away. Sis was slightly older than any of them and took care of them as if they were her younger brothers and sisters. Everyone looked up to her especially himself. He remembered how he used to hog her for himself. Reminiscing about that memory brought a faint smile to him. Ellone was special. Losing her made him fall out completely. He didn't want to experience that pain again so he distanced himself from the people around him. He began to rely to no one, but himself. He believed it's dangerous to trust anyone and depend on them. In the end you're always left by yourself. Alone. He felt he's better off by being alone since he's going to en dup like that anyway.

Then Rinoa came along. She changed his world and turned his view upside down. The thing is that Rinoa has the ability to touch people's hearts. Through his cold personality she had managed to reach out and understand his inner self. She's the one who opened his eyes and make him learn to appreciate the friendships he had with the others, and to live life spending it with the people he cared about. Yes, Rinoa changed him. Without her he'll still be a lost soul. Wrecked through life's pains. She means a lot to me, Squall said. He knows he does have strong feelings towards the carefree girl. Maybe he even feels love towards her.

Can I love her? Can I do that, afraid that I might experience losing someone again? Will I be able to go through that hell, feeling the greatest loss when someone leaves me? Squall would've said no if asked before he started to care for Rinoa.

Right now Headmaster Cid is considering making new purpose to SeeD values. Since there are no more sorceresses, the main purpose now of SeeD's is to train for missions set across the world helping those in need. Some SeeDs had been sent to help build orphanages, assist support groups, defend towns from weekly visitation of monsters and all the charity acts.

Squall had been thinking of rebuilding back the orphanage by the beach. He knows it holds a special place in everyone's memories. By rebuilding it, it will then provide another shelter for any child in need of a home. And of course to let him know that a place which once stood for security and comfort still stands. It was in that place in which peace and happiness started off with him. He guessed he didn't want t o lose that special place for which his childhood was spent. An important place within himself.

"Squall?"

He opened his eyes as he spun around to see a pretty raven haired girl standing a few feet away. She gave him a warm smile as she approached his side. "There you are! I've been trying to find you. Since you've been nowhere I thought you'd be here, " Rinoa Heartilly said as she stood by his side. She studied his face. By the look on it she could tell he had been thinking hard again. She can tell by Squall's facial expression. His dark brows would be knitted together, eyes hard as if he's glaring and his head bowed down a little. Yep, typical Squall, Rinoa thought with a smile.

"What's going on? Something wrong?" she asked. Knowing him it's probably something bothering him. Squall was always serious. He never much kidded around unlike Zell, Selphie and Irvine. He was always to the point, always gets it on from A to B.

But then she realized there's a different side to him. Behind the serious mask, that cold blue gray eye was a lost, frightened soul. He was affected deeply by a painful loss at an early age. Thus, that's the reason for the cold aura he portrayed himself. Everyone needs someone. You can't just survive on your own. Everybody needs to feel love and to experience the greatness of friendship. That's what she tried to teach him. Holding those values, she tried and broke the barrier Squall created between himself and the people he's with.

She was glad Squall smiles now. Before he rarely does, but now he changed. She felt happy when she was able to finally touch his heart. Besides, she likes it when he smiles. He looked so cute!

"It's not-" he started but went against it. He knew better than to say it's nothing to Rinoa. After all the experiences they went through together he knows she can read him better. Oh well. What's the point?

"It's just a strange dream. It's not even a big concern, really. Guess I'm just being driven mad at the responsibilities of having to handle the Garden", he confessed. He sighed as he raked a gloved hand through his rich brown hair sweeping it away from his face.

"Poor Squall. I think you're a good leader. You're doing fine, don't worry. I think you've been working too hard!" the pretty girl exclaimed. She gave a soft giggle as she placed a hand on his forearm, hoping to let him know she's there for him.

"Thanks. I don't usually let any dream bother me. Lately, this dream had been happening to me more frequently. It's strange. Maybe I'm just losing my mind". Squally stared intently to the fields. Rinoa took a step closer to him.

"Squall. Do you want to talk about it? If it's really bothering you, then.."

"No. It's not a problem. It's just a dream", Squall replied. He faced Rinoa and stared into her eyes. They were filled with concern. He felt better knowing she was here right beside him. She had that effect on him since he realized he cared for the girl in the light blue.

She raised a hand to his face. She wanted to make him feel better. He was always working hard. He needs a break. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Let's not talk about this right now. It's pointless. Probably, nothing". He took her hand from his face. He didn't really want to get it on at this time. What could he or anybody do? Right now all he wanted to do was to spend time with Rinoa. He drew her closer as he put an arm around her waist.

Rinoa's face lit up and broke into a sweet smile as she wrapped an arm around Squall. He's a sweet guy, she thought as she rested her head to his chest. Always worrying about other affairs first.

The two of them spent their time up there in the balcony in silence. No one needed to say any words to the other as each felt a mutual understanding towards each other's feelings. No one interrupted them s they both stared into the beautiful field before them listening to silence an each other's beating hearts.

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Pitch black darkness. An endless void of nothingness. It's hard to tell where it starts and where it ends. He groaned bitterly. He knows what's going to happen next.

Ultimecia. She and her sinister voice poisoning his every sense of being, down to the core of his inner self.

"Your worthless. Sooo pitiful. You and your pathetic dreams. Always looking for glory thinking you're mighty."

No! Not this again! He thrashed around hoping to escape this hell. He doesn't want this crap.

A cold laugh erupted. IT seemed to bounce off the invisible walls surrounding this dark hellhole. Mocking him, and everything he stood for.

"You're nothing, little boy. You deserve nothing. You are not the hero you think you are. After all you're only a boy. A silly hopeful pathetic boy. You've got no place in this world. You might as well die. Don't worry, it's not too far away form now." It was followed by a shrill piercing laugh. A laugh that would haunt him every time he faced a day.

Shut up! Shut the hell up! He opened his mouth unleash a fury of words, but nothing came out. Damn you! Damn you to hell! You lied to me, you witch! He screamed silently as he let out several curses to her.

Her laugh continued. Like a sick mental torture to his mind. "You silly, silly boy."

He felt a rough hand shaking him hard. With a start he opened his eyes, and blinding light enveloped him.

Wake up, Seifer! You're having a nightmare again, ya know?" Raijin said looking down to him.

He stared around for a moment looking at the ceiling, and the motel room then sat up. "Damn her", he whispered gritting his teeth together. He gripped his blanket tightly, his knuckles turning white.

"HER?" Fujin asked solemnly who is standing just a few feet away from his bed.

He looked at her. "Yeah", he muttered.

"It's just a stupid dream, ya know? It'll pass", Raijin said. Fujin walked closer towards the bed. "DEAD". "Yeah. She's dead, ya know? Squall and the others defeated her a few weeks ago, ya know? She isn't coming back", Raijin added waving a massive hand.

Seifer winced. The mention of his rival's name still brings the memories of everything that happened. The time when Squall became a SeeD, the Timber mission, his betrayal to the Garden and most especially his knighthood to that vile sorceress.

He was misled. He was targeted for his weak points and Ultimecia saw that. She took his weakness and made it an advantage for her evil intentions. Seifer wanted to think himself as strong. Someone who can take on anything and stay on his own tow feet without the help of anyone. He loved battles. He believed that each battle fought and won brought him closer to his goal. Secretly he himself held a desire. He wanted to become a knight, hailed for his courageous deeds. It was a lifelong dream he had since he was still a child. Few people knew his secret desire. He didn't trust a lot of people. Sure, he meets lots of people and had some friends. But only few are close to him that truly knows his desires and dreams.

Raijin and Fujin are those few. He glanced at the two. The three of them are always together. In fact they made an oath that they will always be a posse. Seifer to this day still gets amazed how strong their loyalty to him is. They were always there for him doing anything as he pleases. When he told them about his dream to become a knight, each one listened intently. When he went out to pursue this, both of them went willingly with him to support him. As Raijin said they're with him all the way because they're posse.

After the Ultimecia issue he was even more surprised that they came back to him. He thought they'll leave him because he's too wrapped up to pursue his romantic dream.

His dream. He always believed in his dream. It's what kept him going. It's like a fuel to his soul energizing him to full strength. Ultimecia shattered his dreams. Oh, how he wished to slash that witch into a million pieces. He wants to pierce her heart with his gunblade tearing it like what she did to his. Just thinking about it made him shake with fury.

I'll get my revenge, he vowed. Someday I'll make her pay for what she's done. He knew she wasn't completely gone. He couldn't explain it, he sensed it strongly. He hasn't seen the last of the sorceress. Slowly, but gracefully he swung his feet to the floor.

"Pack our bags. We're leaving this dump", he said firmly. His two companions looked at each other then back to him.

"Where are we going? Ya know we don't have a place to stay anymore, ya know?"

That's true. After the sorceress battle all what they've been doing is to keep a low profile. People have heard about the so-called "Sorceress Knight" and some even tried to hunt him down. This resulted with them traveling from place to place around the world not really fitting in a place to stay. Coming back to the Garden is not an option. If there's something in which Seifer still holds is his pride.

Coming back to the Garden with tails between their legs asking to be pardoned makes him furious. He doesn't ever apologize for what he does. His actions speak for him thrown in with a couple of crude comments. He's rather face a Red Dragon than beg for forgiveness and approval from anyone especially Squall. Sure, he's not proud of what he's done to the world. He'd rather be hated than be pitied. Pity is a weakness, the lowest of the low. Just coming back to Garden would arise unfinished business. He knew Cid and Edea would feel sorry for him seeing a natural gifted soldier all screwed up by a sorceress. Easily deceived and ridiculed.

Hell, he's supposed to be strong. He can't stand to be ridiculed. It made him feel weak. It pains him to be regarded as weak. Aren't I? I'm weak. I've always been weak, a tiny voice said in his mind.

No! I am not weak! If there's anything, I am never weak! He insisted silently.

But you are, the voice continued. How come you were easily brainwashed and manipulated? You were controlled like a puppet all helpless dangling from a string.

He was being controlled at the time. However, a little part of him went along willingly. He was mislead to believe that his wildest dreams are to come true by Ultimecia. At the time he did believe he was only doing his job. A job of a knight. He felt important and needed. At the time the morality of right and wrong didn't enter his mind. He was just doing a heroic, and brave act through the sorceress unaware of the sufferings he caused to his old companions and the rest of the world.

"Just do it. We're leaving Fisherman's Horizon towards the orphanage. We'll do it either by train, car or foot, it doesn't matter. We're heading there".

Without another word he stood up and headed towards the bathroom leaving his two friends staring after him.

Author's note: I promise to make the next few chapters a little more interesting. Right now it's just mostly about describing what happened after the events after the war. If I wrote something wrong or my work is too cliché pls tell me! Til then pls R/R ^_^