A hand rested lightly on my shoulder. I resisted the temptation to let my eyes open. My semi-conscious mind fuzzily interpreted the hand to be that of my mother's, so I turned and slept on my other shoulder, ignoring her. The grip tightened and shook me slightly, and the lack of yelling and complaining clicked something in my brain. My eyes flickered to half-lidded and I faced the other direction. Sean stood there, both apprehension and worry on his face, and I groaned. I hated that fucking look. He probably used it on his parents all the time to get them to be concerned. Back when he lived with his parents, anyway.

We didn't bother with formal morning greetings. I didn't even bother to acknowledge him. I threw the covers off myself and stood up, now unaffected by the fact I was only wearing a wife beater and boxers around a friend. A male friend. I grabbed socks out of the drawer and sat back down on the bed, Sean still standing and looking bewildered. Like he was shocked that for once, his needs were not the center of everyone's attention. I smirked at his confusion and started pulling on my socks.

"You gonna speak, or what?" I asked in mock-irritation of his silence. These games kept my sanity in tact. They were so easy to play with Sean; he was so naïve, and gullible, and self-absorbed. Was everyone always so damn straightforward with him? I mean, he didn't appreciate a little fucking cynicism.

He put his head down, as if suddenly ashamed of something. I hated how he always spoke with his actions. I wanted words. I need to hear things. I never trusted my eyes. My ears take shit and store it as is. My brain interprets things how it wants to. If you want someone to know something, just say it, for God's sake.

"I need to stay here for a while." I immediately shook my head, not to say no, and not in disapproval, but just in disbelief. There goes his self-centered attitude again, thinking I'm just supposed to let him stay here and cater to his every need, no regard for my fucking privacy or anything. I stared up at him as his eyes glanced towards the off-white carpet. Then, I started looking him over. The wife beater, the shorts, the socks. He was almost like a joke of a statue. Only his eyes were moving, but other than that, he was stiff as a board. He was all "macho" and "buff," but wearing those clothes, it was almost laughable.

…Jesus. JESUS. I was just staring at Sean. Staring at his arms, pretending to be sizing him up, pretending to be deciding and letting him stand there while I just stare at him. It felt beyond wrong. It felt invasive, and stupid, and Jesus, I was staring at him.

"Yeah, sure," I rushed out, no longer feeling like playing any more games. He cocked his eyebrow for a second, I think. I was standing up and pushing him towards the door before I got a good look. "Now get the fuck out." I tried to plaster a tiny joking smirk on my face before closing the door on him, but I was serious. I'd just agreed to have him in my house for God knows how long, and I couldn't deal with him standing in my room for more than five minutes.

I'd been trying to forget about Friday afternoon this whole weekend, and Sean's presence was not helping this process at all. I mean, what the hell was I doing, letting him barge in here and let him drive me insane? Was I just a complete fucking mess that I would do this sort of thing to myself?

I got changed into some jeans and one of a few clean gray shirts, and hesitantly exited my room. I entered my kitchen to find Sean sitting in the same seat as yesterday, leaning over a bowl of Fruit Loops.

"Where'd you find that?" I asked, making small talk. I was doing a pretty fucking good job of pretending like I wasn't dying on the inside, thinking about the feeling of kissing Sean and wondering if I could stay sane for just a little while longer.

"Bottom of the pantry," he said, before bringing the spoon up to his mouth again. I made a mental note to be more observant.

"So, for how many days do you plan on waking me up at ungodly hours and eating my cereal?" I finally asked, leaning against the counter and glaring at him. He stood up and walked towards the cabinet with the cups. He opened it and took one out, then turned around and sighed.

"Just a week," he said. "Week and a half, at most." Somehow, I just didn't believe him. He wanted to stay here and he knew he was snapping me in half. I'd always thought I was so much damn smarter than him, so the thought that I could be completely fooling myself into believing my own fucking lies, and he had me wrapped around his finger—I just wanted to kill myself, if that's what it came down to.

But I silently agreed, and we stayed in silence for the remainder of our unofficial breakfast. I glanced over at him often, but said nothing. Finally, though, as he stood up to put his bowl in the sink, I spoke up.

"We need to go shopping." I finished off the milk in my bowl and walked over to the sink, where Sean was still standing.

"Shopping?" he repeated, raising his eyebrows and grinning, obviously amused by the thought of me shopping.

"For food, jackass." I pushed by him and went to grab my jacket off the back of the couch. I turned around and he was still standing there by the sink. "Come on, you're coming with me." He didn't protest, and I felt a little better about my control over the situation. At the very least, I could get him to listen to me. Just because I'd accepted him as a friend didn't mean I didn't still have power over him.

I locked my door and led him down the stairs and out the front door. The air was cooler than the last time I'd felt it. That, of course, was Friday afternoon. A weird feeling was developing in my stomach, and traveling up my chest, as I walked towards the familiar sight of my junky black car, looking like it had been burnt to a crisp over the weekend. I unlocked it and let us both into the oven that was the inside of my car, with its black leather interior.

Again, my eyes wandered, and I glanced at Sean again as I jammed the keys into the ignition and started the car. He looked wonderfully unemotional, just at the moment I was trying to cop a feel for what the bastard was thinking about. It never really hit me until then that he was apart of what happened on Friday, too. He had acted so fucking nonchalant; coming over my house, teasing me, waking me up and all of it. I was beginning to wonder if it was all just some sick pathetic fantasy. But all these moments of either awkward tension or silence just shoved it in my face. Things were a hell of a lot different.

We pulled up to a convenience store, where I usually shopped for food. At first, the cashier guy always looked at me weirdly. I'd scowl and he'd just roll his eyes. But even the initial looks were nothing compared to the people at the grocery store, who had such sticks up their asses, I thought they were about to deny me the right to buy food at their fucking store. The town of Degrassi can be so fucked up sometimes.

I walked in, Sean following behind, and the small bell rang as I stepped through. I headed straight for the back, where the soda and beer resided. I was getting kind of tired, so when I picked out the six-pack of Amstel, I handed it over to Sean. I heard the small bell ring again while I was picking up a six-pack of Dr. Pepper.

"Just…stand there," I told him, too tired to deal with shopping for food. I just wanted to grab some chips and some booze and be out of there. "What do you want, kid? Some baby formula? A bib? Baby food?"

"Funny, Jay." He sighed and looked around the store. "Just get me some bread or s—"

"Sean. Hey," a soft voice said. I turned around and there was this chick. I'd seen her around school. It was that chick that never smiled. She was almost worse than Sean's goth ex.

"Uh, hey, Ash." She noticeably peered down at his hands, still holding the cans of beer. "I-it's not mine," he said quickly. "I'm just…helping…carry stuff." And here's how to make a kid quickly go from cool to pathetic nervous wreck. Was he into this girl or something?

"Oh." She smiled warmly and put her hand out to me. "I'm Ashley, by the way." I stared at her perfect little hand, all smooth, no dirt under her trimmed fingernails. I raised my eyebrows and nodded at her, then had to walk away. I didn't care that she was nice. She wasn't one of us.

I stayed within earshot of their conversation, and listened on. I vaguely heard Sean apologizing for me, and I reminded myself to kick his ass later. Then, the girl started whispering about something, something about 'two years ago' and 'setting things right.' I tried to continue picking out food but my curiosity was sparked. This wasn't another one of Sean's ex-girlfriends, I hoped. I picked up some more junk as I listened, and finally interrupted them as I started getting tired.

"…Sure. I mean, that'd be fine," I heard Sean saying as I approached them. I didn't come too close, but they noticed me after a second.

"Sean," I said, simply. I nodded over to the cashier and avoiding eye contact with the chick. He turned back to her and looked so laughably serious.

"Call me, okay?" she said quietly. He nodded, and she quickly walked towards the cashier. I said nothing, just grabbed one more six-pack of beer and assumed he would follow me to the cashier.

I started up the car after we'd loaded the trunk with our crap. I'd barely pulled out of the parking lot when I started laughing to myself. Looking back on it, I was all just so funny. Sean, this big fucking pathetic loser, being with all these girls—Emma, Amy, Ellie, and now this girl. Ash.

"What?" he asked, indignantly.

"You, man," I said, still grinning and laughing. "You…having all these girls. I mean, you just broke up with your girlfriend last week, and now…" I paused to laugh some more. "You meet up with a girl in a convenience store, and she tells you to call her." I was laughing so hard, I almost let go of the wheel. "I mean, am I missing something here? Are you some kind of pimp, and I don't know about it?"

"It's not like that," he said, his facial expression completely serious for the first time in a while. "We're just friends. She's been through a lot."

"Whatever, man," I said, still laughing. And I kept laughing, even if only slightly, until we got back to the apartment. As soon as the car stopped, Sean grabbed the door handle and threw it open in a fit of anger.

"And you wonder why everyone hates you." And the door slammed shut.

Suddenly, my laughing ceased.

I didn't really think it was that funny in the first place.

------

[A/N: If you're wondering, (which you shouldn't be…DON'T QUESTION ME! …just kidding?), the cashier kid and Jay are kinda friends. So he lets Jay buy beer. If you think it's farfetched, then you're not cool. Go away.

Um, anyway. Ask questions. Prettyfulness. Oh, and review. Keep in mind my low self-esteem.]