[A/N: Starting a chapter with an author's note? Que ridiculo, I know. I'd just like to say a bit.

Lane- Why yes, Lane, perhaps I am. wink   

Kitty Kat- Actually, I looked it up. Legal drinking age in Ontario (which is where I always assume Degrassi is, but they never really say, do they?) is 19. And Jay's only 18.

There are things I'd like to say to other reviewers but they'd ruin the story. Therefore you must read and….um. React accordingly? But yes, thanks for the support. ]

Loud rap music blasted my ear drums as my eyes shot open to see the blinding green numbers tell me it was 7:30 in the morning. I quickly pushed the off button and got out of bed, dragging my sheets almost out the door with me.

The sun was filtering in through the window near the TV, and it blinded me. I preferred winter, and waking up when it was still pitch black, over this. School was so close to over, and I was a senior. What the hell was the point, anyway? All I ever did was go to shop class and lunch, and laugh at pathetic underclassmen and intimidate people. Without Alex, things were even worse. Sean was a freshman; I understood he actually had to go to most of his classes, but the kid never wanted to skip. Ever. There was always some excuse about failing a class or his record or his brother threatening to punish him, and I believed him, but I didn't care. With no one but Towerz to hang out with, things got boring. Even he was still preoccupied these days with that god-awful grade nine girl. I mean, Jesus, I thought Sean's taste in girls was bad.

Speaking of Sean, I found myself leaning over the back of the couch, staring at Sean. His face was sorta peaceful when he slept: blank, but not in that usual I-don't-give-a-fuck-about-the-world-so-I'll-stay-blank look. It was just…contentment. No scowl, no eye-rolling, no bitter disposition. Just calmness.

I shook my head and reached my hand down, grabbing at his thick arm and shaking him violently.

"Rise and shine, Cameron," I said, quietly, but roughly. "You don't want miss precious seconds of your valuable education." At this point, I'd almost forgotten that the last thing he'd said to me was about everyone hating me. Suddenly, the lack of a response made much more sense. I stopped teasing. "I'm serious, you've got school, let's go." His eyes were still closed but he failed to hide the smile forming on his face.

"Turning all parental already, Jay?" he asked before finally opening his eyes. "You know my brother didn't even start that for almost a year." The position of me leaning over him and he, lying there, felt so bizarre, I couldn't stand to do it any longer. I backed away, weirded out.

"Early start," I joked, heading over to my kitchen. I had never been in that damn kitchen so much until Sean decided he was going to live at my house for a week. I rummaged through my pantry. I hadn't really gotten much good food yesterday. I still kinda wondered what was up with Sean and that chick… "You want toast?"

"Yeah, sure," Sean answered. I threw a couple pieces of bread in the toaster. "Listen, you mind if I change out here?" I nearly choked on the piece of bread I'd just bitten off. It wasn't the thought of Sean getting undressed in my living room that made my heart rate increase tenfold. It was the closeness. How I could walk just five steps in that direction and so accidentally see. Didn't he give a fuck? Didn't I give a fuck?

"Whatever you want, man," I called back shakily. I wasn't nervous or anything. I had everything completely under control. There was no reason why I stumbling across the kitchen and not really thinking about what I was doing. Within seconds, he came in and took his usual seat at the counter. I calmed down. We both looked calm. So I thought.

"I need money for lunch," he said nonchalantly as I shoved the toast and some butter in front of him. Frustratedly, I dug in my pocket and all I really had was a ten dollar bill. I took his empty hand, opened it, shoved it into his palm and closed it.

"Lose it and I kill you." I smiled wryly.

Breakfast finished quickly, and we drove to school. We got there at 8:12; school started at 8:15. Sean looked thoroughly impressed as he was stepping out of the car with his bag.

"Nice job," he commented, grinning.

"Don't get used to it," I shot back sarcastically, before he made his way up the stairs into the school, as I found a parking space nearby.

The day progressed as usual. I'd begun to forget that anything even happened between me and Sean. It was just a stupid impulse thing and he didn't seem too bothered by it anyway. I mean, just cause I kissed the kid doesn't mean I'm like….fucking in love, or something.

I dropped the subject and tried to move on to other things. I was not about to dwell on this. It was one stupid fucking moment and it meant nothing. Besides, I had better things to think about.

We drove home later and he wasn't exactly wearing the same smile I'd last seen him with. In fact, all he did during the ride home was stare out the window. I'd never realized that his eyes were kind of green until the sun shone into his eyes and made the colors all…vibrant. I'd never really seen them in that light. I'd only seen them in dark hallways, where they looked pitch black and menacing. I didn't really know what to make of it.

A few hours passed back at home, as I lounged on the couch (Sean's bed for the week, I later realized) and watched mindless television, until it finally dawned on me that I hadn't seen Sean in a while. Yeah, it sounded stupid, but I wasn't getting used to living with another human being. Especially a younger one…it was like a real responsibility. I never did well with real responsibilities.

I looked around, but there weren't many places he could hide unless he left altogether. But he'd left his stuff, and he couldn't be at a party—I know about all the parties that were going on, unless it was some underclassmen affair. I grimaced at the thought. I hated Sean hanging with those people—they didn't understand him, they weren't good for him. I looked in the last place he could be; I didn't think it was likely, but I opened the door to my porch and there he was. Lying across the tiny porch with just the wife beater and his boxers on.  It was still weird, a sight I wasn't used to. But his hands supported his head and he was laying there, on my crappy wooden porch.

"Hey," he said quietly, and the wind seemed to sweep his words away.

I didn't say anything, but I took the seat sitting next to his head, and laid my head back, facing the same direction as him. I wanted to begin thinking about something profound—about the wind, or the moon, or the stars. All I could think about was the heat, and the sweat already forming on my neck. The wind cooled me down temporarily, but I never knew when it was coming. I wanted to know when it was coming. I wanted to control it.

"I'm sorry about what I said yesterday," Sean said, and in the dim orange light I could see his eyes were closed. His voice lacked all sincerity, but in something, I saw the truth. I absentmindedly pulled a cigarette out of the box in my pocket, along with a lighter.

"Don't be." I brought the cigarette to my lips and looked up. The stars were impossible to see. "It's true, anyway." I exhaled, and the silence was deafening. I didn't want to become his pity case. I didn't care who hated me.

"I don't hate you, man." I looked down, and he had his eyes open, looking back at me. I looked away. The statement was brotherly, I knew that. But I looked back a few seconds later, and his eyes were closed again. Light reflected off his forehead, the heat continued to burn me, and I closed my eyes in silence.

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[A/N: Pun very much intended. Please review, or I can never love you.

Not to sound too overenthusiastic or anything…BUT READ "STARVING ARTIST" by love-fool. Because it is awesome, it is like 10 times better than this fic and that be the truth. Now do it. Do it. Do it.]